Kian shrugged. “I’d do anything for you.”
Emotion clogged my throat at the raw sincerity of his statement. My arms wrapped around his waist and I snuggled into the hard planes of his chest. I breathed him in and allowed myself to feel that familiar comfort before pulling away. Kian’s sad smile mirrored my own, and I realized he’d figured out why I had been distant.
Later. I promised myself.
“As I was saying, my secondary has been a problem, but it’s nothing compared to my main Talent. It has been pushing and pulling me to do … something. I can’t figure it out. There have been times when I almost drained someone without thinking. It’s been like this ever since I left the HPC.”
“Good thing Jedidiah’s here.” Madison wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me toward Rebecca and Lacy.
“Yes, but he’s not normal.” My brow furrowed as I thought of the guru.
“Who the hell is?” Lacy laughed.
“Amen, sister,” Rebecca added.
“Sadie’s right, ladies.” Luca wrapped an arm around Rebecca. “The guy is strange. You’ll see.”
A yawn exploded out of me as I arched my back into a stretch. “I need a nap. This morning has been draining.”
“I’ll walk you to your room?” Kian’s asked, his eyes pleading.
“Sure.”
“How about we meet for dinner?” Rebecca looked around the group, her bright smile contagious.
“Is there somewhere semi-private?” Madison asked. “We still have plenty to discuss.”
“I can have Francis hold the media room for us. It shouldn’t be a problem since they don’t use it except for special occasions,” Luca suggested.
“Sounds good.”
We exchanged another round of hugs before the group split up. Rebecca and Luca walked off hand in hand while Madison and Lacy went in the opposite direction, their faces tilted toward each other in deep conversation.
“Alone at last,” Kian’s fingers laced through mine.
Dread pooled in my stomach, but I pushed it down. Although I knew this confrontation was coming, it didn’t make it any easier. Without answering him I led him up the stairs to my room. No matter what, we had to air everything out in the open.
I hoped he would open up and be completely honest with me.
Chapter 17
As soon as the door clicked shut, Kian rounded on me. “Sadie, are you going to tell me what is making you so distant?”
“Yes, but you have to promise to be honest with me.”
“I have been honest with what counts.”
“Not entirely. An omission is still a lie.”
With puffed out cheeks, Kian released a long breath. “You’re right. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I sat on the edge of my bed and kicked off my shoes, giving myself some time to gather my thoughts. Kian still stood next to the door, arms crossed and looking like a mixture of pissed off and worried. He kept his concerned gaze locked on me.
Poor guy. He probably still thinks the worst. I gave him my most reassuring smile and patted the comforter next to me. “Sit with me?”
He nodded as he uncurled his arms and walked toward me, his posture relaxing a little more with each step. Once he sat, I reached over and grabbed his hand with a squeeze. “Did you know who my mother was when you first met me?”
“No. I had a suspicion, but I was more concerned with your father’s identity.”
“When did you find out?”
“Not long after I discovered Mrs. LaMotte’s true identity.”
I closed my eyes as a wave of pain washed over me. I had guessed that he knew, but the truth stung. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I willed them to stay put. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was going to at first, but Mrs. LaMotte convinced me that she should be the one to tell you. I agreed only because I assumed she would tell you right away. Then Michael died and you two were separated, but you tasked Luca with the job, and I thought I would have time to get Mrs. LaMotte to confess because I had zero confidence that Luca would actually succeed. I was wrong.”
“Yes. Yes, you were.”
“Sadie, I truly believed she should have been the one to tell you or I would have done it the moment I found out—just like I did about your father.”
I nodded and pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes. Partly to stop the tears. Partly to stifle the raging headache brewing. “Are there other things you are keeping from me?”
“Of course, but they all revolve around my clients. As far as I know, I don’t have any more secrets involving you, but …” His voice faded as he turned to look out the window. Deep wrinkles marred his usually smooth forehead, as he became lost in his thoughts.
“But?” I placed my hand on his arm. He looked at my hand, confusion contorting his beautiful face before he looked up at me. His mauve eyes radiated warmth.
“But there are some things I’m looking into. Due to the nature of my job, I don’t share information unless I’m sure I’m correct. If I did and was proven wrong, I wouldn’t be in business for much longer.” He placed his hand on top of mine. “Can you wait for me to try and figure this thing out?”
“Is this a personal thing or a job thing?”
“Both,” he sighed.
“Listen. I understand you have a job that demands secrets, but when something involves you personally I want to be there for you. We are a team. You’ve done more than your fair share in shouldering my problems. Can you trust me enough to help you shoulder some of yours?”
“I do trust you. With my heart. With my life. But there are things about my past—things I’ve done. I don’t want you to see me differently.”
“I will see you differently.” Kian groaned as he laid back on my bed, throwing a chiseled arm over his eyes. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing, Kian.”
“Yeah?” He asked, not even trying to hold back the sarcasm.
“Yeah,” I replied with equal sarcasm. “Because I know you now and I love who you are. There isn’t much you could tell me that would make me see you as anything less than the man I love, but knowing more about you will give me a deeper insight into who you are.”
“What if I told you I used to be an alcoholic?”
“I’d say congratulations on breaking a nasty habit and being sober for…”
“Almost two years.”
“For almost two years. Woo!” I shouted with every ounce of enthusiasm I could muster, even though a small part of me was dying to know the details. The ache etched in his face betrayed the torture he was putting himself through. He needed my understanding and support more than I needed answers.
His lips quirked up in the corners in little spurts as if he were fighting a smile, but he didn’t remove his arm. He was still hiding from me.
“There you go. That wasn’t too hard.” I bumped my knee against his.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered.
My heart ached for him. I lay down beside him, throwing my arm around his waist while I propped my other arm up on my hand so that the first thing he saw when he removed his arm was my face.
“I know you’re dying to know what drew me to the bottle.”
“How about you tell me what’s really bothering you?” I asked
“I will, because that secret is a direct result of this one.”
His face pinched in pain and I felt an overwhelming urge to smooth the wrinkles in his forehead. His free hand grabbed my arm that was circling his waist. I hadn’t realized I had begun to move it.
“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded.
“I’m right here.”
“One of the first jobs I took as a bounty detective resulted in the murder of a young boy.” As soon as those words left his mouth, his entire body deflated before me. Shocked, I couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead I watched as his chest sank and stayed that way so long I grew worried before he inhaled.
There was nothing I could say to wash away those word
s, and I didn’t want to. I was happy he had finally opened up. Yes, his choices had caused a child’s death. Mine had caused many deaths—some deserved it and others were innocent. That didn’t make either of us evil, just guilty of making bad decisions.
I leaned forward and pulled at his arm, uncovering his beautiful mauve eyes widened with fear. No words would make this better for him. Nothing I did would take away that pain. I understood it. I felt it every second, every moment of every day. I draped my leg over his and twisted my body until I lay partially on him. His body was stiff beneath me. He didn’t move as I inched my way upward so my face hovered above his.
“Hold me,” I demanded. He sucked in a deep breath as his arms wound around my waist. With a smile, I cupped his cheek, keeping my eyes locked with his. Hoping everything I felt and all I wanted to say could be seen in them.
“You are a good man. It’s something I know deep inside. Did you know what was going to happen when you went on the job?”
He shook his head no. “But my instincts were screaming at me the entire time. I felt like something was wrong and I did nothing about it.”
“Did you know I feel personally guilty for every life lost since my grandfather first sent Link? I chose not to go with him. I choose daily not to give myself up, and there have been many lives lost because Miles Koenig wants to get his hands on me. Is it my fault those people have died?”
“No,” he replied with a growl.
“No,” I agreed with a nod. “But that doesn’t take away my guilt.”
“You cannot be asked to give up your life because some psychopath thinks he has some genetic rights to you.”
“I agree.” I leaned down and kissed his nose. “Look. I don’t know the details of what happened and you don’t have to tell me until you are ready, but I do know that if you had known what was going to happen, you would have stopped it.”
Kian lifted up and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“There’s more to this story. Much more, but I promise to tell you the details later. Give me the time to contact his parents first.” Kian turned toward me, adjusting so we could both lie comfortably and still cuddle. “But I know you’re not feeling well and need a nap before we meet with the others.”
“It’s not so bad letting me in, huh?” I asked as I snuggled into his chest, the pounding in my head returning now that I had nothing to focus on.
“Not at all. I feel like a weight has lifted.”
“That’s because you’re not the only one carrying the weight.”
“Yeah. Who knew it would feel so incredible to finally tell someone.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I yawned.
“Good night,” Kian whispered, as he brushed a series of feather-light kisses on my forehead, relaxing me until I felt the sweet pull of sleep.
Chapter 18
Breaking News
Thousands of Caelians protested outside of Buy-Mart stores across America today as the corporate offices announced they will no longer shelve Caelian-made products. Additionally, each store will now have the right to refuse service to Caelians.
One peaceful protest in Indiana erupted into a riot when a group of norms claiming to be the new HPC arrived armed with pipes and baseball bats. It took police and the National Guard more than an hour to bring the confrontation to a halt, but not before ten people—one Caelian and nine norms—died.
Chapter 19
Beep! Beep! Beep!
I startled awake to the annoying wail of my communicator. With a groan, I started to roll over to turn it off when an arm tightened around my waist. A startled jolt stiffened my spine before I remembered falling asleep next to Kian.
“I’ll get it,” Kian’s throaty, just-woken up voice whispered against the nape of my neck. He shifted his weight and silenced the communicator.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, pressing back into him as he returned his arm to its previous position. “I think this is the first time we’ve slept in the same bed.”
Kian’s lips brushed the sensitive skin behind my ear. “Yes, and I hope it won’t be the last.”
Heat flushed my cheeks and I bit my lip trying to stop the smile I felt bubbling forward, but it was too much. My lips curled and I sighed in contentment. If only moments like these—happy and carefree—could last forever. I rolled toward the edge of the bed and away from Kian’s warm embrace. He tightened his fist in my shirt.
“Five more minutes. I’ve dreamt of having you in my arms since the moment you left. Let me hold you for a little longer.”
My eyes danced to the wall screen. “You’ve had me in your arms for over three hours,” I replied as I slipped off the side of the bed.
Kian rolled to his back, his maroon shirt pulled tight over his sinewy abdomen. Another type of heat blossomed in my center and I had to force my gaze up to his face. He shot me a knowing smirk before he sat up, “Yeah, but I was asleep for most of it.”
“Your loss.” I shrugged in an attempt to shake my growing arousal. Now is definitely not the time.
Kian’s gaze burned the back of my neck as I walked into the en suite bathroom to freshen up. As soon as the door shut, I sagged against the door. The cool wood felt wonderful against my burning skin. It both titillated and embarrassed me that Kian could work me up with no effort on his part. How did he do it? I stifled a groan. No matter how much I wanted to explore these feelings, to escape from the constant pressure of Talent training and the chaos surrounding me, I couldn’t.
“Are you almost done?”
I started with gasp at Kian’s voice booming on the other side of the door. “Give me a minute,” I hissed back.
Quickly, I splashed some cold water on my face and fixed my bed-hair. A final inspection showed I was put together enough that Francis probably wouldn’t frown at my less-than-stellar appearance.
Kian was waiting by the door when I emerged. “Let’s go catch up with the girls,” he announced with an exaggerated flourish.
As I walked past his outstretched arm, I gently punched his taut stomach. “Don’t be so weird. It’s bad enough that everyone else around here is. Just be you.”
He slung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close, brushing his lips against my temple as we walked down the hallway. “No problem.”
Everyone was already gathered in the media room when Kian and I waltzed in, hand in hand. Rebecca squeaked a hello as she snuggled back into Luca’s chest, his long arms wrapped around her waist. Luca raised a cocky eyebrow at our closeness before wiggling them suggestively. It was his way of saying he was happy Kian and I had worked things out. I rolled my eyes, partly in response to his increasingly lewd behavior behind Rebecca’s back, and partly because I realized that somehow Luca and I had become close these last few weeks.
I scanned the room for Madison and found her and Lacy sitting on the couch, heads together and faces pinched in concentration as if they discussed something of grave importance.
Deciding that I’d rather interrupt Madison’s serious conversation instead of the Luca and Rebecca love-fest happening on the other couch, I dragged Kian over to the girls. When they noticed my arrival, both bolted upright.
“Well, that’s not obvious at all.”
“Sadie … we … you see … I …” I chuckled as Lacy tried to stammer out some form of explanation. Madison glared at Lacy’s floundering.
“I can walk away if you two need more time,” I suggested as Kian coughed in order to hide his own laugh.
“There’s nothing to hide. We were just discussing how to break some news that some of us think will upset you,” Madison stated flatly while staring at Lacy.
“Quit looking at me like that, Maddie. I just don’t want Sadie to have another breakdown,” Lacy huffed as she punched Madison in the arm.
“You two don’t get started now. We’ve just got together again,” Rebecca demanded as she plopped down on the couch next to me. Luca, not far
behind his girlfriend, sat on the arm rest with a huge grin on his face and his nostrils flared as he sniffed the air. The jerk is probably enjoying all this drama.
“Maddie, huh?” I asked, feeling a bit like an outsider. “Since when do you like nicknames?”
“No one said I liked it. She never stopped calling me that when I asked,” Madison replied with grunt.
“Good thing she likes me.” Lacy smiled and leaned her head on Madison’s shoulder. “Now we’re practically best friends.”
Madison smiled. “Well, you are pretty cool when you aren’t annoying.”
“That’s awesome.” Kian wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. It was like he knew I felt insecure and needed the comfort. Pain warred with happiness in my heart. I was exceedingly happy my friends had come together and getting along, but it had happened without me. These foreign emotions battled in my chest and I felt the prickling heat of tears threaten.
Why am I acting like this? I knew there was no reason whatsoever to feel hurt by Madison and Lacy’s obvious closeness, but damn, my heart felt like it was ripping apart.
Rebecca’s shrewd eyes locked on to me. She pursed her lips and cut her eyes to Lacy and Madison, who were laughing about something that had happened in the underground.
“You know,” Rebecca announced with an almost yell, “Everyone missed you, Sadie. Did you know Madison and Lacy have been working together every day to figure out how to get you back with us?”
Lacy bobbed her head up and down with enthusiasm. “Yeah, Madison came up to me when she found this suspicious pattern of behavior from the Koenigs. She didn’t want to go to McCredie with the news directly because she needed to make sure what she suspected was correct.”
“Oh?” I asked. My interest piqued as my unease melted. Thank the stars for Rebecca and her uncanny ability to read me. I cut my eyes to Rebecca and gave her a small appreciative smile before returning my attention to Lacy.
The Caelian Cycle Boxed Set Page 48
