by Nina Levine
I knew his name to be Tommy, and his age to be four. I also knew his father to be a cunt who Tommy and his younger sister, Mara, needed protection from.
Kree crouched low and took Tommy’s face in her hands. Concern etched her face as she said, “Do you feel like you might vomit, baby?”
He nodded his head. His face was so white I figured she probably had less than a minute before he made good on that. She figured it, too. Scooping him up in her arms, she hurried out of the room with him, leaving me alone while trying to soothe him with love.
My fucking gut tightened at the image of mother and child.
Fuck.
I raked my fingers through my hair.
Fucking Christmas.
If I could wipe this fucking season off the calendar, I fucking would.
Ten minutes or so passed before Kree came back to me. Anguish covered her face. “I can’t accept that money, King.”
“Why?” I challenged her.
“It’s too much. There has to be at least five thousand in that envelope.”
“Ten thousand,” I corrected her, ignoring the way her eyes widened in shock. “And you still haven’t given me a good reason.”
She swallowed hard. “I don’t want to owe you.” Wrapping her arms around her body, she added, “I never want to owe anyone ever again.” That was when her voice cracked. I knew the reason for that, too, but I didn’t bring it up. Kree struck me as a proud woman; the last thing she needed was me throwing her past in her face when she was trying desperately to leave it behind.
I picked up the envelope and placed it in her hand. “Take it and don’t fucking argue with me. We both know you need it. I’m not going to mention it again, and you don’t owe me,” I said with force. “And one other thing, I’m switching your shifts around at work so that you don’t have to work as many nights anymore. Those kids need you at home.”
With that, I stalked down her hallway, not waiting for her response. My body crawled with the need to get out of there as fast as I fucking could.
Good deeds weren’t my fucking thing.
I rubbed the back of my neck again, feeling the beginning of a headache forming.
Motherfucker.
I needed to screw my way through tonight and fuck this tension out of my body.
Hell, I needed to fuck my way into oblivion and forget every-fucking-thing about Christmas.
King & Jen / King & Kree
This takes place during the time in Devil’s Vengeance when King discovers Jen’s betrayal.
Tightening my grip on the glass of rum I held to my mouth, I drained the last drop of alcohol as I watched Jen make her way towards me. The anger that had worked its way deep into my bones over her betrayal flared like fucking fireworks—loud, bright and fucking overwhelming. But then, this dance of anger and forgiveness wasn’t new to us. Throughout the five years we’d been together, we’d fucking danced that tango almost daily. It had fuelled our relationship. Until it didn’t, and we were left with wounds we’d never recover from, and a whole lot of fucking regret.
“You finally came home,” she murmured as she inched closer to me.
I dropped my gaze to watch her close the distance between us, knowing her next move before she even made it. To most people, Jen was an unpredictable mess of chaos and bad decisions, but not to me. Probably because I lived and breathed chaos myself.
Pressing my hand against her stomach to stop her, I clenched my jaw and bit out, “You’re not gonna like what I have to say.”
She didn’t surprise me when she ignored my warning. Pushing my hand away from her stomach, she took the last step she needed to ensure our bodies touched. When she responded to what I’d said, her voice held a smoky promise. “It wasn’t what you said that kept me around for five years, King. It was always what you did that held me captive.”
My eyes closed for a moment while I waited for her to take hold of my dick. This was all classic Jen. On the other hand, me allowing her to make her move was not my signature style. But then, this whole fucking situation was unlike any I’d ever been in before. And it was fucking with my head in ways I barely fucking comprehended.
Her warm breath fanned across my cheek as she moved her mouth to whisper in my ear while she slid her hand into my jeans. “You can tell me to leave all you like, or try to kick me out, but we both know that you and I have something special. Something that you’re powerless to walk away fr—”
Rage swam in my eyes as I squeezed my hand around her throat and pushed her face away from mine. My breaths pumped furiously from me, and we stood staring at each other in silence, her eyes wide with shock. “What we fucking have, Jen, is something as far as fucking possible from special as you can get.”
She attempted to pry my fingers from her throat, her efforts growing desperate when she realised I had no intention of loosening my grip. Sucking in the little breath I granted her, she begged, “King!”
Our relationship flashed through my mind, just like it had for the past few days while I’d contemplated the path forward. Her actions and disloyalty had carved the kind of hole in me that could never be patched or filled or fucking healed. This wasn’t something that could ever be fixed. In one night, she’d managed to wipe five years worth of trust and love.
I walked her backwards and shoved her against the wall, finally letting her throat go. Ignoring her gasps for breath, I said, “I came home to tell you that you can stay here for the rest of your pregnancy if you need to. After the baby is born, you get your shit together and find your feet, and then I want you the fuck out of here and out of my life.”
The way her body froze told me she hadn’t expected that. Her strangled words confirmed it. “After everything we’ve been through, that’s how you’re going to end this?”
I tracked the tears falling down her cheeks before meeting her gaze again. “The tears don’t fucking suit you, Jen. And they sure as hell won’t make me change my mind. You should know that by now.”
Her face twisted into an angry scowl as she scrubbed her tears away. “I can’t fucking believe you! Five years ago, I cheated on you and you hardly blinked an eye. But for this you never want to see me again?”
I rubbed my hand over my face. Rehashing the past wasn’t something I saw any point in, but she was forcing me there. “We both know why you cheated.”
She moved her face closer to mine. The crazed glint in her eyes gave me a clear indication that this conversation wasn’t going to end anywhere good. “Go on, King, tell me why I cheated. I want to hear the words from your lips.”
If she were anyone else, pushing me like this, I’d put a fucking knife to her throat. My guilt over the shit I’d put her through stopped me from doing that. Instead, I worked hard to keep my temper in check. That, and the fact there was a child’s life at stake here. “Jen,” I cautioned her, my voice a low rumble. “Step the fuck back and think about what you say to me before you fucking say it.”
“No. Tell me,” she pressed, playing a dangerous game she knew all too well.
We were fucking swimming in heat and a toxic level of hatred and bitterness. A lethal combination. I took a deep breath as I did my best to ignore the way my clothes clung to my body. It was suffocating, but nowhere near as suffocating as Jen’s insistence to dredge this crap up. “You do not want to go down this path. Not with me. Not tonight.” With that, I stepped away from her and turned to make my way back to the bottle of rum sitting on the kitchen counter.
“You don’t want to talk about your precious Ivy? Of course you don’t. You never do, because you fucked her up more than you fucked me up, and you never want to think about that, do you?”
Her words were like venom spilling all over the place, infecting everything they touched. Unfortunately, they were the trigger that unleashed my anger in waves that could never be contained.
“There’s a lot of fucking things I never wanna think about, but that shit? I think about it every fucking day of my life,” I bellowed as
I spun around and stalked back her way. With one swift motion, I had her pinned to the wall again. She recoiled as my fury thundered out of me. “I can’t fucking escape it, because it’s buried so fucking deep inside of me that I couldn’t rid myself of it even if I tried. You think I didn’t love you, but you have no clue what love is. You don’t know what it looks like, tastes like or smells like, and you sure as fuck don’t understand how to give it. So don’t fucking come in here and throw accusations around that you have no business even thinking about.”
Wild energy engulfed us as we each dealt with the situation in our own way. My breaths came hard and fast while I watched and waited for her response.
“I hate you,” she spat. “I hate that you still don’t see me for everything I am and for everything I could give you. I hate you for thinking I don’t love you, when all I ever fucking wanted was to love you. I was a naïve teenager when you dragged me into your world, and I fucking adored you. We could have had the world, King, but no, you were so fucking hung up on her. You couldn’t see straight because of her, and you still can’t. Well, fuck you. I don’t fucking want you anymore. I deserve better than you.”
“I fucking see you, Jen. And I don’t like what I see. And I sure as fuck don’t like what I now know about you.”
Everything about her screamed hatred, from her ugly glare to the hard set of her shoulders. But for one quick moment, disappointment flashed across her face as my words dealt a blow. “I thought that you might be able to dig deep and find a way to forgive me. But no, you’ve proven once again what a cold and heartless bastard you really are. I made a mistake, King. A fucking mistake that I wish I could go back and change.”
“That’s the thing about mistakes, Jen. You can’t go back, and you can’t undo them.” I sucked in a long breath. “And the thing I’ve learnt is to never fucking forgive them.” Turning, I strode to the counter, grabbed the bottle of rum and threw over my shoulder, “Don’t ever fucking mention us getting back together again because that shit is never going to happen.” Without a backwards glance, I exited the kitchen and then the house. The murderous energy consuming me was demanding an out, and I knew I had to get the fuck out of there before the blinding rage took over and I did something I had no control over.
***
“I’m not sure why you think coming to my home so late at night is a good thing,” Kree muttered after she opened her front door to me an hour later.
“It fucking beats me, too. But you calm me,” I said as I ignored the scowl she gave me and entered her house.
“Yeah, well maybe you could text me first. That way I could have your favourite chair and a drink ready for you by the time you arrive,” she grumbled sarcastically, following me into her kitchen.
Facing her, I held up the bottle of rum I’d brought with me. “No need, I brought my own,” I threw back, waiting for her comeback. If there was one thing I’d learnt about Kree on my four visits to her place over the last couple of weeks it was that she was fast and liked to give as good as she got. It was probably the reason why I kept coming back—she was a breath of fucking fresh air.
Lifting her brows, she said, “So thoughtful. I’ll find you a glass before I get your chair ready, shall I?”
Moving to the cupboard where I knew she kept her glasses, I said, “Sit. I can pour my own damn drink, and besides, you look like hell, woman. Like you could do with a drink, too.”
“Just what every woman wants to hear, King.”
I poured our drinks while watching her take a seat at the table. Narrowing my eyes at her, I said, “Are you fucking eating? You look like skin and bones.”
She sat cross-legged on her seat and scooped her hair into a messy bun while hitting me with a dirty look. Everything about those moves only accentuated how thin she was. “You know, just because you gave me some money doesn’t mean you can show up here any time you want. It also doesn’t mean you should feel encouraged to comment on my weight or my looks or any part of my life.”
I screwed the cap back on the rum bottle and passed her drink over. I took a long sip of mine and eyed her over the rim of the glass. “The cash is long forgotten, Kree. My concern for you is not. Do you need more money?”
“God no!” Her eyes widened as the words flew out of her mouth. She then downed half her drink, pulling a face as it burned. “Fuck,” she muttered, staring at the drink like she was remembering something. When her eyes found mine again, she said, “I’d forgotten how fucking awful rum is.”
A smile briefly touched my lips. Kree intrigued me because she was different to most women I met. She was a mix of feisty, brave, tough and soft, as well as a contradiction of wise and naïve. And as far as I’d figured out, she wasn’t after cash, sex or help, which was unusual in my experience.
Taking a seat at the table, I stretched my legs out in front of me while almost draining my glass. When I didn’t say anything, she said, “Now that you’ve told me how I look, do you wanna know how you look?”
I shook my head. “No.” But I knew she would tell me anyway.
Placing her half-finished drink on the table, she leant forward. “You look like you just went a round with one of your worst enemies. Without the wounds, that is.” She paused for a moment. “Did you come here to talk about that, King?”
I exhaled hard and scrubbed my face. “I don’t know why the fuck I came here except like I said, you calm me, and I need some fucking calming right about now.”
She held my gaze like I imagined she would with her kids when she was about to tell them something important. “You don’t say much when you come here, but you say enough for me to know you need to talk. To be completely honest, I don’t want to be the person you talk to, because quite frankly the last thing I want to know is the shit you’ve got going on in your head. But, it’s late and I’m ready for a shower and bed, so if you need to talk, can you hurry it along?”
I stared at her for a long beat before skimming my gaze over her body. She wore tiny shorts that showed off her long tanned legs, and a tight red tank top that was glued to her tits. I hadn’t been kidding when I told her she looked like skin and bones, but even that couldn’t hide her beauty. The thing about Kree, though, was that her mind interested me more than her body.
Shifting in my seat, I rested my elbows on my knees. “I didn’t come here to talk.”
She watched me quietly for a moment before saying, “I’m not fucking you, if that’s what you’re after.”
My mouth spread out into a smile, and the tension coursing through my body eased a little. Fuck knew how she did it, but every fucking time, without fail, she managed to help me get my shit under control. Standing, I said, “If I wanted to fuck you, Kree, you’d know. And trust me, we wouldn’t still be sitting here fucking talking about it.” I lifted my chin at her. “Go take your shower. I’ll see myself out.”
I didn’t wait for her reply. I simply left the way I came in. Minus the desire to take a knife to Jen’s throat.
Acknowledgments
This book wouldn’t have come together without my editor, Becky Johnson, and my assistant, Jodie O’Brien. These two ladies are ALWAYS in my corner. I’m blessed beyond words for their support and encouragement <3
Also, my girls in my group, Levine’s Ladies. God you ladies inspire me like nothing else! I’m sure you have no idea!! Thank you for your amazing support <3
And all the readers and bloggers who spend time helping me get the word out about my books. You ladies are THE FUCKING BEST! Seriously, mad love for all of you!! I just wish I could do more for you. Thank you <3
Huge thanks also to you guys, the readers, who love my books and buy my books and tell your friends about my books. From the bottom of my heart, thank you <3
Getting to do this job blows me away. Still. After more than five years of doing it, I am still amazed that I get to sit down and imagine the hottest alphas for a living. And that I get to travel the world to meet readers in countries I never thought I’d ever g
et to see. And that I have made so many beautiful friends around the world through my books. This BLOWS MY MIND DAILY. Thank you, thank you, thank you <3
About the Author
Nina Levine
Dreamer.
Coffee Lover.
Gypsy at heart.
USA Today Bestselling author who writes about alpha men & the women they love.
When I’m not creating with words you will find me planning my next getaway, visiting somewhere new in the world, having a long conversation over coffee and cake with a friend, creating with paper or curled up with a good book and chocolate.
I’ve been writing since I was twelve. Weaving words together has always been a form of therapy for me especially during my harder times. These days I’m proud that my words help others just as much as they help me.
www.ninalevinebooks.com
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