I lean my head back, for the first time in three months not worrying about dying. With the earlier adrenalin wearing off, I feel like a washed-out ragdoll. I don’t care about what waits for me at home. All that matters is that we’re safe.
Gabriel cups my neck and pushes my head down in his lap, my body cushioned on his jacket. I keep my eyes open and absorb his power. His thigh muscles bunch under my cheek as he steps on the clutch and changes gears. I watch his enormous hands as he grips the wheel and takes charge of my destination. The feeling I once had of placing myself in his hands, trusting him to be a good driver who’ll bring me safely to my destination, is now real. I rely on him to drive us six hours straight through the night and deliver us home. There’s not a doubt in my mind he’ll navigate any pitfall without falling asleep or crashing the car. Gabriel is too decided, rational, and faultless for that. His chest rises and falls with steady, deep breaths, the reassurance I need that he’s securely on his course and knows what he’s doing. I can let my guard down. For once, I can rely on someone else to take control.
I nestle deeper into his lap, letting his warmth enfold me. Masculinity radiates from the flex of his muscles as he manipulates the powerful engine of the car. He doesn’t break the speed limit, and this further reassures me. He turns up the heater and puts the radio on a classical music station that helps soothe me.
Once on the open road where he doesn’t have to change gears, he brushes a palm over my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. For a while he rubs the tresses between a thumb and forefinger, and then he strokes my shoulder and arm. He runs his hand over my back and comes to a stop on my waist, his fingers playing gently over the side of the bump that used to be my flat stomach. I turn slightly to find a more comfortable position, and Gabriel doesn’t change his hold on me. He keeps his fingertips on the curve of my belly, lightly, yet protectively.
The moon is visible from the passenger side window where it breaks through the clouds. It moves with us, bringing along the milky-way stars. There’s something soothing about the sound of the tires rolling on the tar and the music playing softly in the warm background while I’m cocooned in a strong man’s lap as the cold, dark night speeds past outside. Finally, the comfortable, luxurious safety of it all lulls me to sleep. I fall down a rabbit hole of deep, exhausted, crazy dreams where property like me is cherished.
Gabriel
All the way from Durban to Johannesburg my insides shake. How easily I could’ve lost her. She’s a survivor, one of the strongest I know, but even survivors eventually run out of luck. This is my fault. This is my backhanded, conniving doing. Valentina ran to protect our baby. She believed I wouldn’t want it. I can’t blame her. From her perspective, I’m the monster, and it’s true. Only a monster would kidnap her, train her to fuck him, and then make her pregnant without her consent. Only a monster would believe the worst of her, expecting her to run to get rid of our child. A good man would’ve seen things for what they are. Valentina isn’t capable of hurting an unborn child, even if that child is a monster’s.
The guilt mauls my mind to pieces all the way home. I hate myself for who I am and for what I’m going to do, because I won’t tell her. I won’t tell Valentina why she fell pregnant. I’m too needy. I want a small part of her affection and approval too much. Why make her hate me more than she already does? Why make it harder on her? It’ll be best for both of us to keep the untruth alive. She never needs to know. This is what I tell myself when I park the car in the driveway.
While she was sleeping, I called Magda to let her know the status of the situation. I also checked with Rhett on how Charlie was doing. They were behind me by one hour. I instructed them to let Charlie sleep at the guardhouse when they arrive. It was a long twelve-hour drive to Durban and back, but I barely feel the strain. Superhuman strength drives me where my woman and child are concerned. A glance at the dash clock tells me it’s three in the morning. The house is quiet, everyone asleep. Just as well. I want time alone with Valentina before facing Magda and the rest of the staff.
My precious bundle stirs when I lift her from the car and carry her inside, but I press her face to my chest, urging her not to break her sleep. I take her upstairs and lie her down on my bed, trying not to disturb her too much when I remove her clothes. After undressing, I get under the covers beside her and pull her to my chest. My body molds around hers, every part just like I remember, except for the soft curve of her stomach that presses deeper into my groin. The rest of her has lost weight. Her bony shoulders and thin arms cut straight into my conscience, and still I’m perverse enough to grow hard. I want to both possess her and revere her by not touching her. With all the willpower I possess, I force my dick down. For now, her mind is in a subconscious world, and like the bastard I am, I hold her naked body close while she can’t deny me.
Valentina
Wakefulness pulls at me, but I’m not ready to open my eyes. I’m still in my cocoon, warm and safe, only, now it’s softer and more comfortable. Slowly, reality returns. I’m in a bed, in a pair of strong arms. Naked. I lift my eyelids to find Gabriel watching me. Immediately, I tense. When is he going to order me to the gym for my punishment? As stiffness invades my muscles, his eyes grow hard, and his deformed face twists into a cold mask, but he doesn’t loosen his hold.
His voice is clipped. “How do you feel?”
I sweep my hair behind my ear, self-conscious about our nakedness. It’s been three months and my body has changed. “Fine, thank you.”
“Stay.” He throws the duvet off his body, but makes sure I’m covered.
His chiseled ass bunches, and the muscles in his broad back flex as he walks to the bathroom. A second later, the water in the shower comes on.
Not sure what to do, I look around the familiar room. The same medical equipment from before is still here. I’m not going to lie in bed awaiting my punishment naked. I get up and walk to the closet to borrow one of his T-shirts so I can make it to my room with my modesty intact, but when I open the top drawer my T-shirts are neatly folded on the shelf. So are my underwear, shorts, and nightdresses. Drawer after drawer holds my clothes as well as new garments I’ve never seen. I lift a blouse to read the label. Everything is in my size, or at least my pre-pregnancy size. Baffled, I go through the closet. My jeans, dresses, jackets, and pants are organized by colors.
“Those won’t fit, now,” his deep voice says behind me.
I jump and twirl around. Gabriel stands in the door, a towel wrapped around his waist and his chest wet with drops of water. Instinctively, I cover my breasts and below my stomach, a warm flush working its way over my body. Without looking at my naked parts, he takes a T-shirt from the top shelf and hands it to me. It’s one of his.
“We’ll have to do some shopping,” he says.
I pull the T-shirt over my head hastily. Thankfully, the hem reaches my knees. I motion at the cupboards. “I don’t understand.”
“I had your things moved over.”
“Why?”
He takes down a shirt and drops the towel. I have to look away as he starts to dress. “We’ll rectify the clothes situation as soon as possible. I apologize about that.”
More confused than ever, I say, “You couldn’t know. That I’m still pregnant, I mean.”
The look he gives me is a strange one. A shadow invades his eyes. He pulls on a pair of slacks, not bothering with underwear.
“How did you find out?” I ask carefully.
“Rhett was worried about you.”
“Ah.” It’s a nice way of telling me Rhett ratted on me without blaming Rhett.
Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, I find a pair of panties and borrow one of Gabriel’s sweatpants with an elastic waistband that accommodates my rounder waistline. I have to roll the pants up several times.
“Back to bed,” he says with a dark expression.
I can’t stand the tension, any longer. “Gabriel…”
He turns to me. “Valentina?”
“Just take me to the gym and get it over with.”
For one second, two seconds, three seconds he stares at me, then he crosses the floor and puts his hands on my shoulders. “I’ll never hurt you while you’re pregnant.”
The air leaves my lungs in a gush. I’m relieved, but not reassured. “Only after?”
He doesn’t answer. He only points at the bed and makes me get back in.
“Don’t move.”
“Charlie?”
“Later.”
He kisses my forehead and leaves the room. What am I supposed to do? Sleep? Not ready to test Gabriel’s patience, I stay put. The door opens not five minutes later, and Marie enters with a tray. She gives me a scowl and dumps it on the nightstand. There are eggs, bacon, toast, baked beans, and coffee. The smell of the food makes me feel sick, but I fight it down. Before I can say thank you, she’s gone.
Gabriel doesn’t leave me alone for long. When he returns, it’s with Dr. Engelbrecht. A frown runs over his features when he looks at the untouched food, but he doesn’t say anything. The doctor runs tests similar to the ones I took in Durban and notes everything on his computer.
“I know it’s hard when you’re feeling sick,” the doctor says, “but if you don’t want intravenous feeding, you’ll have to eat something.”
“She’ll try,” Gabriel says.
Once the doctor is gone, Gabriel gives me a piercing look. “Put on your coat and shoes.”
“Where are we going?”
He takes his jacket off the clotheshorse, but doesn’t answer.
I don’t have a choice but to obey and follow him to his car. Before starting the engine, he kisses the knuckle of my amputated thumb and places my hand on his thigh. We drive in silence. It’s only when we park outside a redbrick building that I dare to question him again.
“Gabriel, what’s going on?”
He turns off the engine and faces me squarely, his body a block of hard muscle that takes up all the space on his side of the car. Tightening his fingers on mine, as if he’s expecting me to pull away, he says in an unwavering voice, “We’re getting married.”
4
Valentina
“What?” I cry.
I try to pull away, but he holds fast, a silent warning creeping into his eyes.
“We’re getting married,” he repeats.
“Now?”
“Here, now, today.”
If he punched me in the stomach, he couldn’t take my wind out harder. “Why?”
He gives me an even look. “You’re pregnant with my baby.”
I’m feeling more hysterical by the moment. “That doesn’t mean you have to marry me.”
He lets go, opens his door, and comes around the car to open mine.
When I don’t move, he puts his head in. “Get out of the car, Valentina. Now.”
Kicking and screaming won’t do me good. He’ll carry me into the building if he has to. My only chance at getting out of this is to reason with him.
I step out on shaky legs, holding onto the door for stability. “You don’t have to marry me just because I’m pregnant.”
He narrows his eyes. “Do you think I won’t man up to my responsibility?”
“I told you, I don’t expect anything from you.”
He puts his nose a hairbreadth from mine. “Has the thought that I’m doing this to protect you crossed your mind?”
The sucker punch he dealt me earlier is nothing compared to this knockout.
“Do you know how many enemies I have?” he continues, grabbing my arms. “Do you know what they’ll do to you to get to me? The only thing that makes anyone in the business untouchable is being family.”
Everything he says is true. I know how the business works. My child hasn’t been born, yet, and there’s already a sword hanging over his head. The fact that he’s Gabriel’s child is enough to put both our lives in danger. I understand what he says, but marriage isn’t what I want. It’s not what Gabriel wants. Not like this. Marriage is for love.
“There must be another way.”
“This is the only way. You can do it the easy way or fighting. The judge has been bought. He doesn’t care if you say yes or no. We will be married.”
His fingers dig into my arm as he pulls me up the stairs and through the door. Some of his men have followed by car and are guarding the entrance. He doesn’t give me time to protest or speak until we stop in front of a door with a metal plaque that reads Judge EL Viljoen.
I hang back when he moves forward. He turns with an irritated look.
“Gabriel.”
“What?”
I run my sweaty hands over the fitted trench coat that won’t fasten over my bump, any longer, to dry my palms. “I think I’m going to be sick.” Bile pushes up in my throat.
He cups my face. For the first time since I’ve met Gabriel his eyes fill with something keen to dearness. “Take a deep breath.” He gives me a hard, possessive kiss and ushers me inside.
Barely five minutes later, we’re married.
Husband and wife.
The nausea I’ve managed to hold down boils over. We’re scarcely outside before I empty my stomach in a flowerbed. Gabriel is next to me, his arm around my shoulders. He holds my hair out of my face and rubs my back as dry heaves wrack my body. Tears mix with my anguish, shaking my shoulders.
“It’s all right, beautiful. Breathe in and out.”
I take a steadying breath and scrape some dignity from the bottom of the barrel of my control, enough to straighten my back and suppress more tears.
Gabriel takes me back to the car and fastens my seatbelt. Shell-shocked, I stare at the platinum band with the floating diamond on my ring finger that matches the one on his, except that his has a black diamond. Mine fits perfectly. There’s no way he got the rings this morning. He already had them before we left the house. The hasty marriage isn’t something he cooked up last night.
He gets in and traces his thumb over my jaw. “Feeling better?”
I hold up my left hand, fingers splayed. “How long have you been planning this?”
His expression becomes guarded. He starts the engine and puts the car into gear. “Since I found the pregnancy test.”
“Why are you doing this? Why give up your bachelorhood to protect me?” Seriously, why does he care? “My debt can’t be worth that much to you.”
Instead of answering, he pulls off, his guards following. We drive in silence until we hit the road heading toward Lanseria.
“Where are we going?”
He cups my knee. “We need someplace tranquil to talk.”
“Charlie––”
“Will be fine. Rhett and Quincy are taking care of him. Today is about us.”
My worry is not completely eased, but I don’t have a choice. I have to trust Gabriel. Now that we’re back, I have to let Kris know. I hate that I made her worry.
“Do you mind if I call Kris?”
He takes his phone from the console holder and hands it to me.
“Thank you.”
Gabriel has her number saved in his contacts. Why doesn’t that surprise me? She picks up with a rushed greeting.
“Kris, it’s Valentina.”
“Val! Where are you?”
“Johannesburg.”
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. We’re fine.”
“What happened? Did Gabriel find you?”
I glance at him, knowing he can hear her, but his face is a stoic mask.
“Yes,” I say.
“Tell me what’s going on. I’m going out of my mind.”
“I promise to explain everything, but not on the phone.”
“When can I see you?”
I look at Gabriel.
“Tomorrow,” he says.
“Tomorrow,” I repeat.
“Today. You owe me a fucking explanation.”
“You’re right.” I rub my eyes. “But I can’t do it now. It’ll have to wait.”
<
br /> “Val––”
“Kris, please.”
She must hear the desperation in my voice, because after a sigh, she says, “Okay. Tomorrow and not a day later. I’ll be waiting.”
“I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“I’m just glad you’re safe. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
I don’t know how I’m going to explain. I both fear Kris’ judgment and crave her support.
I hand Gabriel back his phone and look through the window. We’re heading toward Magaliesburg, passing the airport.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
“Nauseous.”
I swear there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.
“What’s so funny?” I snap.
There’s a definite twitch to his lips this time. “It’s cute.”
“It’s cute that I feel like puking?”
“It’s cute that you’re having pregnancy symptoms.”
He places his palm on my stomach, but pulls it away immediately, as if he’s worried his touch is unwelcome. The sad and sick thing is I go cold when his touch is gone. Only pride prevents me from asking him to hold me.
After thirty minutes, the road starts twisting up the mountain. I don’t usually get carsick, but the winding road doesn’t help. I have to focus on my breathing not to empty my stomach again.
He pats my knee. “Almost there.”
I close my eyes and lean my head against the headrest. When I open them again, we pull through the gates of Mount Grace. I sit up straighter. I’ve always wanted to come here. I heard it’s beautiful.
It’s that and much more. The mountain resort is hidden in the lush hills, surrounded by a forest. The main building has stone walls and a thatch roof. Everything shouts luxury and extortionate rates. When we enter the lobby where several well-dressed guests are conversing, I feel self-conscious about my clothes, but Gabriel’s arm is around my body, sheltering me against his side. A concierge rushes forward and greets Gabriel by name.
“Your room is ready, sir. Would you like me to escort you?”
Consent (The Loan Shark Duet Book 2) Page 5
