by Shade, S. M.
Aiden’s father, Clint, stands a few feet away, digging through a bin of candy bars, a thin blond girl at his side. Aiden is oblivious, and I really don’t want this to turn into an ugly confrontation in a grocery store.
“Here, why don’t you go play the claw machine,” I tell Aiden, handing him some quarters. “Stay right there where I can see you.”
“Thanks!” He runs off to the machine, in the opposite direction of his father, who has now noticed us.
He does exactly what I expect him to do, which is why I didn’t want Aiden to see him. He sneers at me, grabs the girl’s hand, and gets in the line farthest away from me. After he checks out, he walks right past his son, just a few inches behind him, moving like his heels are on fire so Aiden won’t see him. Because what could be worse than having to say hi to your kid?
Fucking waste of space.
Worthless piece of shit.
There’s no anger in this world like the anger you feel when someone hurts your kid or does them wrong. Every time I see him, my hatred grows. I have to remind myself that Aiden is better off without people like that in his life.
I manage to swallow down the rage and plaster on a smile for my son as he rushes up to me carrying a stuffed dog. “I won!”
“That’s great!” I hug him. “You’re getting good at that machine. What are you going to name it?”
Aiden rattles on as I put the groceries in the car, but I don’t hear much. Poor kid is placated with a few uh-huhs and yeahs while I chew on my anger and try to shake it off. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve seen Clint. He stopped by and promised to return that evening to take Aiden to the park. Of course, he didn’t, and watching my little boy stand in the door for over two hours waiting for him tore pieces out of me.
All I can think is the horrible stuff I’d wish on him.
Like a bout of uncontrollable diarrhea combined with a prolapsed anus. I flipped through a medical book once and found a picture of a prolapsed anus that gives me nightmares to this day. Who knew your asshole could just decide to jump out of your body? Horrific. And perfect for him.
When we get home, Aiden makes a beeline for his video game, and I take a quick shower while he’s occupied. Since I’m usually kind of strict when it comes to screen time, I know he’ll be glued to it until I pry him away. It’s late, and I have no intention of going anywhere else tonight, so I throw on some leggings and a long shirt, then put my hair up in a messy bun when it’s only about half dry. I’ll regret it later when I have to work out a bunch of knots, but I’m tired and all I want to do is get dinner ready then relax with a book.
After I fry the sausage and chop up some green peppers for my side of the pizza, I yell for Aiden. He loves to put the toppings on.
“Coming!” He runs into the room and jerks out the chair, making me wince at the horrible scraping sound. “I’m on level five!”
“Yeah? What’s your record?”
“Level ten. I’m going to beat it tonight.”
He grins at me, and I notice he’s wiggling a tooth with his tongue. “Do you have a loose tooth?”
“Yeah, it won’t come out though.”
“Let me see.”
The tooth barely moves when I touch it. “It’s not ready. Don’t worry. It’ll fall out in its own time.”
“Then I can take it to the park and gross out the twins.”
The poor twin girls who visit their mother here on weekends are his intended victims. They’re his age, and they probably wouldn’t tease him so much if he didn’t take every chance to tell them they aren’t as cool as Bailey.
“Don’t be mean.”
He raises an eyebrow at me, and I swallow back a laugh. “They tried to put lipstick on me last week.”
“What did you do?”
“Ran. And Bailey made them stop.”
Bailey to the rescue.
With me overseeing him, Aiden spreads the sauce, sprinkles on the cheese and sausage, and then hops off his chair. “You can do the yucky green stuff.”
“Wash your hands before you touch the controller!” I call, as he sprints back toward the living room.
The sound of running water from the bathroom tells me I caught him in time. While the pizza cooks, I actually have a few minutes to sit at the table and read a chapter of the horror book one of the neighbors loaned me. It’s really getting good. I see how I’m going to be spending my night.
After the pizza is cool, Aiden wolfs down two slices and goes back to his game. Yeah, I’m going to be that terrible parent tonight. He can play until it’s time for a bath and bed.
“You can play until nine. Then bath and bed, kiddo. You hear me?”
He nods, his eyes never leaving the screen.
My phone beeps with a text from Neal.
Neal: Can you come over? I have a bit of an emergency.
Neal has never asked me for help. I hope Bailey is okay.
I can see Mallory sitting on her front step, so I stick my head out my door. “Mallory? Do you think you could come and sit with Aiden for just a few minutes? I’m just going across the street to Neal’s.”
She gives me a knowing grin and pulls her front door shut. “Sure. Take your time. I got nothing going on tonight.”
She follows me into my living room. “Aiden, Mallory is going to stay with you for a few minutes while I go across the street.”
He doesn’t look up. “’Kay.”
“He’s in video game land so it’ll be like babysitting a plant. I’ll be right back. Help yourself to some pizza if you want. It’s on the stove.”
Mallory takes a seat on the couch, and I rush out the door.
Neal meets me at his door, looking harried, and ushers me inside. “What’s going on?”
Bailey sits on the couch. She looks miserable and a bit pale. “Dad wants to take me to the hospital!”
“What’s wrong?” I turn to regard Neal, and he runs a hand across his face, his palm rasping against his five o’clock shadow.
“I didn’t know what else to do. I tried to reach my sister, but she’s not answering, and she’d probably tell her to wear a fig leaf and do a rain dance or some shit.” He’s rambling on, and I still have no idea what the problem is.
“Bailey, are you feeling sick?”
Her cheeks color, and she looks at her feet as she mumbles, “I’m bleeding.”
Bleeding? I don’t see any blood. Then it hits me.
Surely not. He is not freaking out and threatening to take her to a hospital for that.
“Did you get your period?” I ask, softening my voice and sitting beside her.
She nods, still staring at her feet, and a tear drops to her lap. “I don’t need a hospital for that, do I?”
“No, honey.” A snort jumps out, and I cover my mouth.
She gives me a bemused look. “I’m sorry. I’m laughing at your dad, not you. He’s completely lost it.”
A tentative smile crawls across her face. “Yeah, he has.”
“How do you feel?” I ask, brushing her hair back.
“My stomach hurts. Other than that, okay I guess.”
“I’m going to run home and grab you a pad, then we’ll go shopping for the stuff you need, okay? Everything is going to be all right. I know it’s scary when you see the blood for the first time, and it’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not as bad as you think.”
It’s a week of hell where your baby box declares war and takes no prisoners, but she’ll find that out in her own time.
She hugs me, and I wrap my arms around her. “It sucks in a lot of ways, but it also means you’re growing up. Joining the exclusive club that’s for women only. That’s something to celebrate, and tradition insists we do it with chocolate.”
She smiles, and I whisper. “Look at your dad. I think you broke him.”
Giggles spill out of her as we stare at Neal, who is frozen in place, watching us like we might explode.
“Neal, relax. She’s fine. If you want to go stay with Ai
den, we’ll go to the supercenter and get her taken care of.”
“Thank you,” he breathes.
I make a quick trip home and back to bring her a pad. “Just peel the back off and stick it on your panties. The wings wrap around the edges to keep it in place.”
“Do I have time to take a quick shower? It’s kind of…everywhere.”
“Sure. Take your time, hun. And if you rinse the clothes with cold water, the blood will probably come out.”
I leave her to get cleaned up and find Neal pacing the living room. His eyes are wide when he looks up at me. “I’m not ready for this. She’s my baby girl.”
He is fucking adorable right now.
“Yes, but she’s not a baby. Were you really going to take her to the hospital?”
He shrugs, a sheepish smile in place. “I figured they could handle it.”
“It’s a period. You aren’t disarming a bomb. And what the hell was that about a rain dance?”
He bursts out laughing. “You haven’t met my sister yet. She’s into all that holistic, homeopathic stuff. She would’ve had me giving her wheat germ supplements to grow more blood or some shit.”
He takes a seat across from me. “Seriously, tell me what I need to do to make this easier for her.”
“Just be understanding when she’s moody or acting out. Periods are hard enough when you’re grown. During puberty, it’s brutal. Let her be angry or cry or laugh or do all three at the same time and don’t look for a logical explanation because it’s all hormones.”
“Puberty, fuck. I thought I had until thirteen at least.”
“Girls mature faster. I started at eleven, so I know how she feels. I’ll take her to get what she needs. Do you have any painkillers?”
“Tylenol.”
“I’ll get her some Naproxen. It works better for cramps.”
We hear the shower shut off. “Expect some stained sheets and clothes. If you use a stain blocker stick and wash them on cold, most will come clean.”
He nods and smiles at her as she walks in, her wet hair pulled into a ponytail. She’s wearing a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie. “You’ve nailed the uterus uniform,” I tell her. “Leggings are good too.”
She gives us a reluctant smile. “I’m ready.”
Neal hugs her and kisses the top of her head. “Sorry I freaked out.”
“It’s okay.”
Neal locks his door, and we head to my place. Mallory sits on the couch watching Aiden play his game.
“Thanks Mallory. I really appreciate you keeping an eye on him,” I tell her. “Neal is going to sit with him while we run an errand.”
“Sure, anytime. I should get going. I have company coming.”
“Neal! Play the second player!” Aiden pipes up, shoving the controller toward him. He’s suddenly aware a world still exists outside his game.
“You’ll have to teach me,” Neal tells him, sitting cross legged on the floor beside him.
“You have until I get back, Aiden. Then it’s bath and bed.”
Aiden doesn’t answer, and Neal waves us off.
Bailey is quiet until we get to the store. “I don’t want tampons,” she whispers.
“There are a lot of different pads, and they’re really thin. We’ll get a couple of different brands, so you can see what works for you.”
We end up with everything I can think of to help during the monthly egg massacre. Pads, painkillers, a heating pad, a chocolate cake, and some plain colored cotton panties. “You’ll end up sacrificing a pair every now and then. It happens to all of us. Better to have some extras,” I tell her.
I also pick up a small calendar and show her how to count the days, so she can try to figure out her cycle. “It may not be regular when you’re so young, so don’t be surprised if it doesn’t stick to a schedule at first. Mine didn’t.”
“God, it’s going to be every month,” she groans as we climb back into my car. “I wish I was a boy.”
“Nah, can you imagine how annoying having a penis and testicles must be?”
She giggles. “That’s true. They must get in the way. I wonder if they ever sit on them.”
“That’s a question I’d pay to hear you ask your dad,” I laugh.
“I think I traumatized him enough for one night.” She hesitates for a second before asking, “Can I stay with you tonight?”
My heart goes out to her, and I understand wanting a woman she trusts close by. “Absolutely. But you have to share the chocolate cake.”
“Deal.”
Aiden is practically falling asleep sitting in front of the TV when we walk in. “Aiden, it’s bed time. You can just take a bath in the morning.”
I’ll have to wash his sheets, but it’s about time anyway.
“’Kay.”
I know he’s tired when he doesn’t argue. I glance at Neal. “Hang out while I get him to bed, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Aiden is asleep before I shut his bedroom door. I grab a pillow and blanket from my bed, then plug in the heating pad beside it before returning to the living room.
Bailey is curled up in the corner of the couch, her eyes drooping. “Do you want a piece of cake?”
“Not right now. Dad said I can stay the night.”
He’d probably be happy for her to stay three to five days. “Come on. You can have my bed. I sleep on the couch half the time.”
She climbs into bed, and I bring her a glass of water and a painkiller. “If you wake up hurting, put the heating pad on your stomach, but keep it on low. And come get me if you need me.”
“I will. Thanks, Veronica.” She snuggles down under the covers.
“You’re welcome, honey. Things will look better in the morning.” I turn off the bedside lamp.
“And we can have cake for breakfast,” she murmurs.
“It’s a plan.”
I close the bedroom door and return to the living room where Neal waits. “Do you need another pep talk too?” I tease.
He gathers the two video game controllers from the floor and places them on the coffee table. “I’m not going to live down tonight, am I?”
“No way.”
Taking a seat on the couch, he flashes me a smile that makes me want to take my panties off. “Thanks for everything you did for her.”
“Anytime. She’s such a sweet kid, and she’ll be fine. This is all normal stuff, you know?”
He chuckles, and his head falls back on the top of the couch. “Yeah, well, I’m more qualified to discuss hard-ons and shaving.”
Exhaustion is catching up with me as I flop onto the opposite side of the couch. “Don’t worry, she’ll have those questions too.”
“Now you’re just torturing me.”
“Maybe a little.” I fold my legs underneath me. “I was glad for the distraction tonight. I ran into Aiden’s father at the grocery store.”
Neal’s brow crumples. “What happened?”
“He ignored me, sneaked past Aiden, and took off. Not that I wanted him to say anything to him, but—”
“But he should want to,” Neal finishes. Even his mad face is adorable. His lips press together, and a line appears in the center of his forehead. “He’d better hope I never run into him. Aiden’s a great kid. He should be proud.”
“I know. There’s no use thinking about it though, so I just wish terrible things on him in my head.”
His eyebrow raises. “Like car accidents and stuff?”
“No, more like, I hope his asshole grows taste buds.”
The sound of his laughter does things to me. It’s deep and quiet, fading to almost silent when he laughs really hard, his body vibrating. His pale blue eyes glow in the low light when he looks at me.
“I hope I never piss you off. Okay, let’s come up with some more bad luck for…”
“Clint.”
“Clit? You actually got naked for a guy named Clit?”
“Clint!” I repeat, shoving him. “He wouldn’t know a clit if it
slapped him in the face. I hope he gets that feeling that he needs to sneeze, but can never sneeze.”
Neal sits back and crosses his arms, thinking. “I hope every time he has to shit, there’s one stubborn chunk that gets stuck. So no matter how long he wipes, it’s like wiping the tip of a marker.”
“Ew! That’s gross.” The stress of the day lifts from my shoulders as I laugh. “I hope the sound is just slightly out of sync on every video he ever tries to watch.”
“Diabolical. I hope every pizza he orders is delivered upside down.”
“Oh, heartless. Pizza is life.” He smiles at me, and I swear it goes straight to my stomach. What the hell, Veronica? You know he’s off limits.
“Feel better?”
“I do. Now move your ass so I can crash. It’s been a long day.”
“Yes, dear,” he mocks, getting to his feet.
I’m grabbed in an unexpected hug when I stand. His body is so warm, and he smells amazing. My muscles relax, and I squeeze him back. When he lets go, he steps back and awkwardness sneaks in around us. “Good night,” he finally says.
“Good night.”
As tired as I am, I spend a few minutes tossing and turning, my unsettled emotions taking over. I can’t pinpoint what I’m feeling. Maybe I’m just freaking out because I’m feeling something for a man when I haven’t let that happen for a long time.
I need to put things in perspective again.
Neal is just a friend. I’m not looking for a relationship or a hookup even if he was willing. I have enough to worry about just keeping a roof over my son’s head. There’s just not room for anyone else.
Chapter Four
Neal
“Dad!” Bailey runs into the house, her ponytail flying. “Veronica got an eviction letter and so did the twin’s mom!”
What the hell?
My hands fall to her shoulders as she looks up at me. “What are you talking about?”
“They put letters on their door that say they could get kicked out. Everyone is talking about it.”
