by J. C. Cliff
I finished mixing my second drink, and when I took my first sip, a thunderous pounding on the door ensued, almost making me choke on the liquor. I tried to suppress the pounding of my heart by pressing my hand against my chest. Was this how it was always going to be? Would I be a paranoid mess, looking over my shoulder every minute, wondering when I’d be discovered? All because I was at the mercy of Vince.
“Lexi, open up. I know you’re in there.” It was Connor and by the sound of his gruff voice, he was determined for me to answer. Well, he could go to Hell; I had nothing to say to him right now. My eyes narrowed in anger just thinking about what the asshole had done earlier today. He was every bit as guilty as Vince. I sat my drink down on the table and strolled through the kitchen, making my way to the front door.
I crossed my arms, eyeing the front door with disdain, wishing I had some superpower to transport him into a pile of pig shit. “Lexi, I have a key,” he said as if I didn’t know. “I’m trying to be respectful, here.”
“Oh?” I whispered aloud to myself, my brows arched high. He wanted to be respectful all of a sudden? His bullshit statement had flipped a switch in me, making me furious. I stomped toward the door, my entire body wound tight, longing to let loose the pent up rage from this morning.
Connor wasn’t expecting me to answer, that much was apparent when I flung open the door, taking him by surprise. The look on my face was murderous, because his eyes went wide as he took a cautious step backward.
“Respectful?!” I yelled in a high pitched tone. “You’ve got some balls showing up here talking about being respectful, Connor!”
He held up his hands in surrender, trying to placate me. Something he’d always been able to do with skill until today. “Just let me explain,” he said, possessing a calm that enraged me further.
I felt extra powerful having an entire glass of Vodka thrumming through my infuriated veins.
“Allow me to spell it out for you,” I hissed. I stepped forward and unleashed all my pent up aggression, dispelling it onto Connor. I pounded my fists into Connor’s chest with everything I had.
“How could you?! How could you?!” I screamed out. Those three words said it all. How could he betray our lifelong friendship? Connor was my best friend, and he had just proved himself to be just as sick as Vince. He was a backstabbing traitor.
“Lexi,” he sternly barked out as he tried to grab at my wrists, but I was too fast. I’m not a weakling by any means, and I was glad when he had to truly struggle in order to gain the upper hand. Sadly, it didn’t last long though, maybe a total of thirty seconds, before the shock factor wore off him.
He captured my wrists in a painful hold as he backed me into the house. My high-pitched cries of both anger and frustration echoed throughout my little house as I struggled to get free. He quickly shut the front door with his foot to keep the sound from traveling to the neighbors’ houses. It wouldn’t have mattered; it was the middle of a workday, and all my neighbors were at work. There was no one to intervene.
As he backed me against the wall, his deep baritone voice shouted out my name, fighting to be heard above my battle cries. He roughly shook me as he roared in my face, putting a stop to my hysterical tirade. “Lexi! Dammit! Listen to me!”
My hair was a disheveled mess as I whipped my head from side to side, trying to break free from the death grip he had me in. When I couldn’t get myself loose, I dropped my head back and screamed toward the ceiling, emptying my lungs. His movements were a blur to me as he let go of my wrists and grabbed my face, forcing me to meet his steely eyes. He was good and pissed now, his previous calm, cool demeanor gone. He squeezed my cheeks like a vice, the pain forcing me to wince and quiet down.
Breathing heavily, he leaned in only a hair’s breadth away from my lips, and rasped through clenched teeth, “Lexi, stop it. Settle the fuck down.”
All I could seem to do at the moment was breathe violently through my nose, inhaling and exhaling copious amounts of oxygen.
Connor blows out a heavy breath of his own, his eyes set with determination. “You’ve got options. I can help you.”
My heart pounded in my ears as I tried to shake my head, but couldn’t. He still had me in a jaw lock. However, it didn’t stop my eyes from spinning wild with animosity. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough helping already? Oh wait,” I paused, pretending to think, “you probably have one more task left after removing your nose from Vince’s ass, right? I’m sure he’s given you the task of turning me over to the authorities.”
He narrows his eyes and growls at me in exasperation. He lets me go and steps back, running both of his hands through his hair in a show of frustration. “No, I’m not turning you in. I would never do that. I came here to tell you that I have an escape plan for you. It’s already in place - all you have to do is take it.”
“What?” I hoarsely asked as I tried to catch my breath. “What are you talking about?”
He stepped forward and cradled my cheeks, his eyes flicked over mine, imploring me to trust him. “I’ve worked out a way for you to break free of this mess, if you want.” Well, I certainly didn’t expect this turn of events to come from Connor. I eyed him warily, wondering what his ulterior motive was.
“Lexi,” he sighs saying my name as if he was at his wits end. “I told you I’d always have your back. How could you have doubted me on that?”
I scoffed in reaction, my brows coming together in disbelief. “Where would you like me to start?” I asked, my tone full of bitter sarcasm.
He nodded his head as if he were coming to terms with something. Letting go of my cheeks, he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a sealed, white envelope. His eyes softened on mine as he held the thick envelope out in front of me, willing me to take it.
I tilted my head to the side, remaining speculative about the mystery envelope he held in his hand, along with the intent behind the gesture. His tall six foot frame hovered over me as he looked down on me with what I thought was sympathy. His disposition had turned a one-eighty from the way he was acting this morning with Vince, and it put me on edge. This was the type of behavior indicative of Vince, hot one moment then cold the next. His hair dips down over his forehead, momentarily giving him back a boyish charm, reminding me of the sweet Connor I grew up with.
I don’t know what he wants me to do. “I…I…” I stumbled for words, confused, and came up empty.
“I had a strong feeling if your back was to the wall, like it is now, you’d most likely want a way out,” he explained.
“I don’t understand.”
His entire expression reflects utter sorrow. “Look, I know it looks as if I’m the bad guy, but I’m not. For reasons you won’t understand, I had to play along with Vince this morning, but I’m here now to set things right.”
“You can’t fix my life, Connor; nobody can. It’s in shambles.”
“No,” he says, barely shaking his head. “Inside this envelope is something special. It holds your freedom, Lexi,” he says with a bit of excited urgency. “The choice is yours. You’d be a fool not to take it, but I’ll help you with whatever it is you decide.” He tapped my chest with the thick envelope, which apparently contained deliverance, but of what, I wasn’t sure. “Take it, Lexi. This is my gift to you.”
His lips turned down, his tone changing to regret. “Sometimes I think I should have offered this to you a long time ago.” He glanced down to his feet for a brief moment, and then lifted his head, giving me a remorseful frown. “I will make sure Griffen is well taken care of.”
“What? What do you mean by that?” Griffen is my life. I’m not liking the sound of this.
He ignored my question as he patiently waited in silence. When I placed my hand over his, I looked down and noticed my hands were trembling. I looked back up to him with a million questions dancing behind my eyes. What happened to the Connor I once knew? His once playful smiles had been replaced over the past year with sober expressions and covert operatio
ns.
“What is this?” I asked with in-trepidation .
“I’ve been working on this plan for the better part of a year now, wanting to set something up for you in case you ever had the need to make a break for it. I think now is that time.”
“Connor…why are you doing this?” I asked, forgetting about the envelope for a minute. I was confused and touched at the same time. “Why do you want to help me?”
He reached out and stroked a piece of my long, brown hair, his voice cracking. “Baby, I swear on all that is holy, you’re the only woman I’ve ever truly loved. I’ve only ever wanted you, Lexi, but I never even stood a chance.”
“What?” My heart thrummed in my chest at this news. I pulled back and looked up at him, baffled. I’m shocked, I had no idea he was holding back his true feelings all this time or that they ran so deep. I blinked rapidly, not believing my ears. “I never knew,” I whispered.
“I know. You were never supposed to know either. I was going to take that piece of information to the grave with me.” He carefully cradled my face in his hands as he searched my eyes, and I noticed his had turned glassy. “Why do you think I became a ladies’ man? Despite the fact you were never mine to begin with, I had to constantly find ways to work you out of my system, and trust me…nothing worked. Vince had staked his claim on you a long, long time ago.”
“Vince doesn’t get to stake claims on my life, Connor.” Although, he basically just did.
Only Connor could pull off a sad grin as he told me, “Letting you go will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. Vince does love you, but he’s too egotistical and twisted to see what he’s done today was all kinds of fucked up. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“What is he into?” I ask, my voice full of anxiety. “He said he was about to be wealthy, Connor. What’s going on?”
He frowns, and shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders at the same time. “I don’t know. I’ve asked Vince about it many times, but he’s closed up and secretive about it. He says I’m too soft-hearted of a man to be involved, what ever that means. I’ve even tried snooping behind his back, but he’s good at hiding shit.”
I nod my head, believing him. Vince is too good at covering his tracks and remaining obscure.
He threaded his fingers through mine, letting the envelope slip out of his hand. The envelope fell to the floor in silence, easily dismissed as the air around me charged with a thickness that stole my breath away. He held my gaze, his expression full of tender compassion. “I want you to know I’ve never stopped loving you. If I could find a way to stop, I would; I just don’t know how.”
My head was swirling with his confession. “I don’t know what to say to all this.”
“Yeah, I know,” Connor replied with a sigh. “You’ve had a lot of shit dropped on you this morning, but you asked why I was helping you, and I couldn’t let you go without you knowing the truth.”
Connor looked down at our joined hands while he softly stroked the back of them with his thumbs. Connor was crazy handsome, and all these years, I thought he was happy being a playboy. He was just over six feet tall and was built like a lean swimmer. His summer tan, blond hair, and hazel green eyes made him every woman’s wet dream, but for some reason I never saw him that way.
“I just left the barn. Griffen…he’s doing great now.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head in disgust. The caustic knowledge had me squeezing Connor’s hands. I was getting worked up all over again.
“Hey, I promise I was all over the situation,” he explained, as if his clarifying his actions made everything okay.
“And that makes it all okay!?” I cried out. “Do you need to feel vindicated for drugging my horse?”
Vince knew you’d lay down your life for Griffen. We both knew that. It was the reason I was so quick on the meds. We knew you wouldn’t fight him.” Vince indeed knew I would’ve never let Griffen suffer. He had my full cooperation from the get go.
“Lexi, I would’ve never let any harm come to him. You have to know that, right?” As much as I loved Connor, I knew that couldn’t be totally true. Ever since his younger brother died last year, he’d gone a little bit crazy himself, but I couldn’t really judge him for that. Losing Bennett affected all of us, but because I didn’t run in his circle, it didn’t hit me as hard as it did Connor and Vince.
Connor taking part in drugging my horse, and confiscating my handgun only confirmed how bold and daring he had become. He allowed Vince to influence him; there was no excuse for that. Still, I had to think maybe Connor had some good left in him, because what he was doing for me now with his escape plan only confirmed it.
“Lexi?” he prompted when I didn’t answer.
“Yeah, I believe you didn’t mean him harm,” I whisper solemnly.
He looked as if I’d just removed a ton of weight off his shoulders as he leaned in, giving me a chaste kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you,” he whispered, relief evident.
He bent down to pick up the envelope then placed it back into my hand, explaining, “There’s a map inside the envelope, along with a list of instructions and some cash.” His melancholy voice gripped at me, the reality of the situation sinking in. I have to run away in order to survive.
Connor looked as if he was trying to come to terms with something, which got me thinking. If Vince found out he had been double crossed by Connor, his life would be over. I couldn’t live with that kind of responsibility over my head. I didn’t want to be the reason he put his life on the line.
“No, Connor, I can’t…”
He whipped his head up in a flash, his eyes piercing me with such intense conviction, I gasped. “Yes, yes, you can, and you will.” When I shook my head, he grabbed my chin as he leaned in, directing my eyes inches from his. “Have you already forgotten the shit you and Griffen just went through this morning?!” he hissed with anger. I swallowed hard against the lump of panic in my throat and closed my eyes. He jostled my chin, gripping me hard enough to hurt. “Look at me, dammit,” he demanded.
Distressed, I cried out, “I’m so scared, Connor.”
“You should be scared. You don’t know what he’s capable of. Today was a good day,” he ground out. “He’s become unhinged, and if you don’t get away now, there will be no way out. You’ll be constantly trapped in ultimatums.”
“Oh, God.” My eyes fluttered closed as a few tears slipped out. He let go of my chin and pulled me against his broad chest. I buried my face into the side of his neck, wrapped my arms around him, and quietly sobbed.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry.” He murmured sweet nothings over my head as he tenderly stroked my hair, consoling me after his outburst. I should hate him beyond words, but I still loved the Connor I grew up with. The compassionate Connor, the one who was holding me right now. This was the side of Connor I loved, the one I wanted to believe still existed behind his newly formed hard exterior. “I need you to not lose sight of reality and all the things Vince is capable of. Plus, I really don’t want to see you wind up in jail, and I see that decision measured by how far you push his patience.”
“Okay,” I shakily replied.
“Please tell me you understand what it is I’ve risked for you, and what has to be done here?” His voice pleaded for me to recognize what he had risked in order to save me. “But that’s only if you want out.”
My breath hitched, and I inhaled his familiar scent then clutched his neck tighter, afraid to let him go. The thought of leaving everyone and everything behind was distressing, but it looked as if it were the only viable option. Reluctantly, I nodded my head against his shoulder. I had to get away from this insanity.
“Yeah?” he breathed out with a sigh of relief.
“Yeah,” I croaked.
“I’ve thought of every possible escape strategy for you, and this is the absolute best way to do it. It’s the only shot you have at avoiding jail, and escaping him, because he is out of control, Lexi
.”
“I know,” I sadly whispered.
He moved his upper body back from mine, forcing me away from the crook of his neck so he could look at me. His thumb carefully wiped away my tears as he gently told me, “I’ve got you disappearing into the Appalachian Mountains. There’s a map in the envelope. It will tell you where to start, and the best place for you to resurface. I have further instructions in your backpack of what you need to do and where you’re to go once you’ve resurfaced on the other side of the trails.”
I can’t help but look at Connor as if he had gone mad, and then I questioned his plan. “Backpack? I don’t have a backpack. Wouldn’t it be easier for me to just get in my car and drive somewhere far away, or better yet, flee the country by plane?”
“No, Lexi.” He sadly grinned at me as if I were a naive child. “You’re traceable in every way imaginable. Your car even has a tracker on it,” he confessed. I choked on a breath, looking at him in astonishment.
“Are you serious?” I asked, dumfounded. “How long have you known this and didn’t tell me, Connor?”
“I’m sorry. There were some things you were better off not knowing at the time. I had to get things set up for you first. If you found out about it, Vince would’ve known I had tipped you off.”
“How were you so sure I’d have chosen this path?”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what you’d do. I just wanted you to have options.” I dropped my head into his chest with a sigh of defeat. “I’ll make sure everything is taken care of on this end. I will meet up with you eventually, but not too soon, because it’ll look too suspicious if I wind up leaving right after you.”
“Connor,” my chest constricted as I looked up, “this…this is sounding all too permanent and scary.”
His brows cast downward, his eyes looking sad and full of empathy. “I know, baby. I’m here for you. I need you to believe that. I don't know what the future holds, but we have to prepare for the worst, just in case. There's enough money in the backpack to last you for at least six months. Granted, you really won't need any money on the trails, but when you resurface, you're going to need to find transportation and get to the safe house I had arranged for you. I need you to hold out until I get there.”
