by Jami Wagner
She turns back around and gives me a wicked, happy smile. Somehow she managed to learn that when it comes to me, she can get away with anything. I’m just happy she followed one rule and kept her hair pulled back. At least she listened to something I said.
The music switches to a new song and “Sour Cherry” by The Kills plays throughout the bar. I smile back at her, approving her choice of music. From the hoots and hollers it sounds like I’m not the only one who enjoys this song. Right at that moment she reaches up and pulls her ponytail out of her hair and shakes her curls loose down her back.
Fuck. This is not happening.
Kelsey
Before I focus too intently on the fumes blowing out of Ethan ears, I quickly start to chat with some regulars and collect their drink orders. I pick up a few empty bottles as I weave between tables on my way back to the bar. I can feel his eyes burning into my skin. I can do this. I can do this. He’s budging on the rules, so this is a start.
“Girl, I can’t believe you are testing him right now. Logan said he had a hot temper earlier today, and the rest of us have been doing everything we can to stay clear of him. Then, here you walk in, acting like you own the place.” Beth laughs and shakes her head. We both glance toward Ethan, who’s now standing with his hands on his hips and his head hanging to his chest. God, he looks so cute when he dresses up. For once I’d like to see him just relax here. He might be a lot happier if he didn’t take everything so seriously. I can’t imagine Sara giving him any lectures before she left. Maybe he needs someone to help him in a non-work-related way.
I could do that.
What would he do if I march right up to him and kiss him? He sure as shit isn’t going to make a move. Damn it, Kelsey. Stop that.
“I sure hope whatever you have planned works out for both your— Oh shit, here he comes.” Beth is gone before I can fully process what she just said. How did I miss him strutting over here when I was staring at him? Oh right. I was imagining kissing him.
“Kelsey, might I have a word with you?” Each slow word sounds practiced and forced. Crap. I hadn’t prepared for this reaction. I mean, I knew this was going to happen, but I never planned how I would react.
“I—”
“Ethan, I need some help behind the bar. Would you mind talking to Kelsey later?” Relief instantly takes over at Logan stepping in just in time.
“You need help with three customers?” Ethan asks.
I glance at Logan, who looks back at the customers then grins at Ethan. “Just go easy on her, please.” He chuckles and returns to his spot behind the bar.
Well, that was a poor job of saving me. I’ll have to warn Sara about this. Logan is a horrible defender of best friends. He was the one who wanted to devise a plan against Ethan. Clearly, I’m the only who will actually mastermind it. As slowly as I can muster, I turn to face Ethan. When I meet his heated stare, I bite my lip and hold back a smile. At least it’s kind of working. I shrug.
“We can talk in my office.” He turns for the door with me right behind him.
When the door clicks closed and I hear the twist of the bolt, I step deeper into the office and cringe as I lean against the wall. I got this. I’m not scared of Ethan.
But I am surprised when he turns around and a sneaky grin appears on his lips. He stalks over to me and stops once we are toe to toe. Damn, he’s close. I can smell his musky and woodsy scent that I can’t get enough of. He’s so close I can see how soft his skin is from his shave this morning. I can smell the mint on his breath, which now focuses me fully on his lips. Oh god. Have I always been this attracted to him?
“I can’t let you go back out there, Kelsey. Not dressed the way you are.”
“Why not?” I cross my arms and look away from him. “I’m wearing the same outfit we used to always wear, Ethan. And no one had a problem with it before. Casual is friendly and approachable. You’re just going to have to let some things go.” I reach to move him out of my way, but instead he grabs my wrist and stops me. I freeze and take a deep breath.
I’m shoved against the wall and his lips are on mine before I can finish that breath. He quickly releases my wrist and his hands go to my waist, each hand digging into my sides and pulling me closer. His tongue slips past my lips, and I lock my arms around his neck. Hot damn, this man can kiss.
Ethan moves his knee between my legs and rubs against me. A moan comes from inside me, fueling his hunger even more. A hand slips under my shirt, snapping me back to attention. I break the kiss.
“Ethan.”
“I can’t let you go back out there dressed the way you are because I won’t be able to keep my eyes or hands off of you. And if I won’t be able to do it, no other man out there will either. I don’t feel like getting in a fight tonight, Kelsey. It wouldn’t be professional and it wouldn’t end well for the other guy. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I can’t get enough of you.”
I push him away slightly and look into his eyes. If he really feels this way then where has he been? Why hasn’t he called me or come over for breakfast? If he really feels this way, he never would have stopped showing up. But I can’t let him know how this bothers me.
“I’m sorry, Ethan, I…I got carried away. I’m not attracted to you that way.” I take a step around him.
“That’s bullshit, Kelsey, and you know it,” he challenges once I reach the door.
“I don’t know it. I don’t know anything except that a relationship between the two of us would never work.”
“Why not? We’ve never had one. You can’t just pre-reject something because you think you know how it will turn out. It doesn’t work like that.”
I remain silent because everything I say is only making this situation worse. I don’t want him upset with me but I do want him to stop being such an uptight jerk.
“I’m sorry, Ethan. I should get back to work.”
“Wait. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t having even a pinch of feelings for me. I know you do. I want to hear you say it.”
I don’t hesitate to look him in the eye. I even open my mouth to confess everything he wants to hear, but the words don’t come out. Instead, I open the door and walk out.
Ethan never comes out of his office during my shift. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I do care about him. It’s just that after you add our past and his present behavior together, it all screams that I shouldn’t trust him. I’m not doing that again. I can’t let myself go through that more than once. I know I said I’d just go with it, but I can’t. Even if every part of my heart wants to be with Ethan.
Chapter Sixteen
Kelsey
All week I have failed miserably at hiding my emotions. Both Beth and Logan have threatened that if I don’t cheer up by Saturday night, they will call Sara. Calling the best friend can be just as bad as physical pain. Now it’s Friday, and Logan and I are once again the bartenders for the night. I’m determined to prove there is nothing wrong with me. Technically there isn’t if you take away my obsession with the fact that I think I made a mistake with Ethan. Maybe I should have given us a real chance. Maybe he acted that way because I wasn’t ever all that clear on how I felt. I should have gone all in. I was stupid, now I’m miserable.
“Hey, Pip,” Logan jokes as he flicks my side ponytail. I laugh, set a few beers on the counter, and start popping off the tops.
“Pip had two pigtails, Logan. I only have one,” I correct him, and the customer across from me nods in agreement.
“And Pippy braided her hair too,” the man says before taking his beer and walking back to his table.
Logan shakes his head before pulling apart a thirty-pack of beers and squatting to load them into the cooler under the bar top.
“My point is, you’re over here bouncing around all cheery and humming along to the music. Lately you’re in here all stressed and shit.” He stops to look up at me. “Is there something you want to tell me? Has so
meone finally turned that frown upside down?”
I playfully kick him and he wobbles a little before correcting himself and continues stocking the fridge.
“Nope,” I say, giving him a straight face and shrugging my shoulders. “Is there something you should be telling me?”
He stands up and puts his hand on his hips. “You girls are the weirdest creatures, you know that?” I only smile at him. “But you want to know something else?” he adds. “I’m a guy and that makes me smarter than any creature out there, so I know exactly what you’re hiding.” My smiles drops and he laughs as he walks to other end of the bar.
He’s just messing with me. He doesn’t know anything —does he? I bet he already talked to Ethan, even though there isn’t anything to talk about. Boys are so much worse than girls at gossiping because they don’t know when they are doing it. But if they are talking, that means Ethan’s been thinking about me. And if he has, maybe all I need to do is talk to him. Fix whatever mess this is. If he were someone I could just get over, I’d have done that by now.
I decide that it’s best I go about the rest of my shift throwing myself into work. If I’m busy, I won’t be able to hear Logan at the other end of the bar making stupid and funny comments about what he thinks he knows, and I sure won’t have time to think about Ethan. My plan goes perfectly, but of course, that ends real fast when Ethan walks through the bar door with a girl on his arm. Not just any girl either. He’s with Abby.
Ethan
I had a plan and I thought it was brilliant, but looking at Kelsey’s face right now, I know I screwed up. I screwed up bad. Abby probably isn’t the best person to subject to this, but she knows my intentions and says she has no problem helping me out. But with the way her hand keeps grabbing my ass, she’s creating a plan of her own.
“Abby, stop. You’re not helping,” I tell her as I remove her hand once again. No man in his right mind would say no to a girl when she grabs his ass, so I know I look like a total dumbass right now.
We take a seat at the bar. I watch as Kelsey walks away from us to the other end of the bar where Logan is. He looks over her shoulder at me then nods his head. He hands her the beer bottle in his hand and approaches us.
“Hey, guys,” he greets us, but he doesn’t sound pleased. We make brief eye contact and then he lets out a deep breath and shakes his head.
“I have to use the ladies’ room,” Abby says, leaving us.
We both watch as she disappears behind the door.
“Dude, what the fuck are you doing bringing her here? I thought you and Kelsey were…I don’t know, getting along now or—fuck, you were trying anyway.” He keeps shaking his head. “You just messed everything up. I don’t know how to help you and I definitely don’t want to. Not now. You’re on your own.”
Logan doesn’t have to tell me twice.
“I was desperate. Kelsey won’t openly admit she likes me so I thought—”
“That you should make her jealous,” he finishes for me. “You don’t know her at all, do you? Your remember Tyler, right?”
I nod.
“Did you know he cheated on her? With Abby?”
Fuck.
I’m an asshole.
What kind of a person would cheat on Kelsey? Kelsey deserves the best, and I’ll hurt anyone who doesn’t give that to her, including myself.
“Yeah, I didn’t think you knew. And if you did know, this was a complete jackass move.”
He hands me a beer and sets some bright cocktail thing in front of Abby’s seat, a cranberry vodka maybe—who cares? I fucked up.
“Have your drink and get out of here, man. That’s the best thing you can do right now. Better yet, just go now,” he advises and I just nod my head.
The moment Abby returns from the bathroom, we leave. I don’t look back to see if Kelsey is watching because I hope to god she isn’t.
How am I going to fix this?
Chapter Seventeen
Kelsey
The remainder of the evening goes by in a blur because I can’t stop thinking about how Abby has ruined something else for me. Logan knew exactly why I asked him to switch sides with me. There was no way I was going to wait on Ethan while he was sitting with her. Instead, I just watched them from my end of the bar. I know he was trying to get me to react or at least say something. I wanted to. I wanted to tell Abby she is wasting her time, because he’s mine. But all I saw was history repeating itself. He cheated when he first kissed you, Kelsey. He will do it again.
I force back the tears as I clear the last table of its empty drinks. Why can’t I find a guy who is happy with just one woman? Rain is pouring down outside, and for the last hour, the sound of drops beating against the window is the only thing that has kept me relaxed. I stop, still holding a few dirty glasses, and watch as everything outside looks cold and depressing, much like my life at this very moment.
I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t be upset with anyone but me. Ethan doesn’t know about my past relationship. I never told him. I shouldn’t be upset with him. We hardly know each other, and one kiss doesn’t mean anything.
“Hey, is it cool if I head out?” Logan asks. He pulls on his jacket and pauses at the top of the steps while I head behind the bar.
I set the dishes in the sink and nod my head.
“Of course.” I smile at him. He studies me for a minute.
“Is everything alright?”
No.
“Yeah, everything’s great. I’m just getting tired,” I say, and when he doesn’t respond I know he’s deciding whether or not to believe me.
“Alright… well, if you need anything, just call, okay?”
“Thanks,” I say and follow behind him as he leaves so I can lock the door.
Before I reach it, the jukebox begins to play “Endless Love” by The Bird and The Bee. Does everything have to depress me right now? I used to love this song, but now the words are bound to tear me apart. It’s a song that mocks me of something I’ll never have. I head for the jukebox with the goal of changing the song to some hate music – because anything would be better than this — when I feel a cold breeze from the front doors opening. I turn to tell whoever it is we’re closed, but freeze when I see Ethan standing in the doorway.
He isn’t wearing the same clothes as he was earlier, and a pang of dread flows through me as every awful idea runs through my mind. His wet hair drips into his face and his black t-shirt and jeans are sticking to his body. His chest is moving quickly as he breathes and his now dark and determined green eyes are focused on where I stand.
My eyes go wide as I take him in. The wet look makes him even sexier than before, but his eyes are the piece causing me to take a step back. The desire in them matches the exact way my heart feels. He came here for me, I know that much. I also know I’m not letting him leave until we’ve resolved this one way or another.
Ethan stalks toward me, and when he gets close enough, I take another step behind me, bumping into the pool table. My palms grip the table to steady myself as he presses his body against me and leans forward, placing his hands right next to mine.
“I don’t want to play games, Kelsey. I want you and only you. I’m sorry about tonight. Abby doesn’t mean anything to me. I have never felt for someone the way I feel about you and I didn’t know how to handle it. I still don’t, but I do know the only way I want to figure it out is with you. I want you in my life no matter what happens.”
I’m stunned speechless. Everything is a clouded mess inside my head. I want to tell him that I want him, too, and together we could have it all, but I can’t form words. Say yes, Kelsey. Say anything. Forget the past. I manage a small nod.
He doesn’t waste any time waiting for more of a response. His lips crash against mine and I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him closer. Our mouths move desperately against one another while his hands glide down my back until he’s cupping my butt. He grips each cheek tightly, picking me up and setting me on the table.
“God, I want you so bad,” he breathes into my mouth.
My knees part as he moves between them, jerking my body into his. Since I’m wearing another skirt there isn’t much of a barrier left between us, and when he grinds his hips into my core, I can feel how much he wants me and that only fuels my body even more.
“Kelsey,” he says, separating our lips and trailing kisses down my neck. I love the way he says my name. I lean my head back to give him better access, but I don’t let go. Pleased sounds escape my lips as he moves further down my body. His hands find the hem of my shirt and a wave of desire washes through me as they rise underneath it, his fingers reaching the edge of my bra.
The soft music in the background and our rapid breaths surrounds me. It only intensifies the fire between us. Ethan removes his hands, but I grab his wrist in protest. He smiles and lets out a small laugh. “Trust me, ok?”
I lock my eyes on his, accepting his silent promise, and let go of him. He quickly lifts my shirt over my head. He drops the shirt to the ground and leans back.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says then kisses me again. He unsnaps my bra, removing it from my body, but never pulls his lips away from mine. His hands find my breasts and he squeezes them gently, letting his thumbs play with my nipples a little longer.
I moan into his mouth and the warmth between my legs tells me how much I enjoy what he does to me. I let my hands roam over his body slowly and stop at the waist of his jeans. My fingers unbuckle them and once I have them unzipped, I slide my hands underneath and around to his backside. I put my hands flat against his firm body and pull him into me, moving my waist against him as I hold him there.
“Ah fuck,” he cries, quickly moving his hands to my skirt. “I can’t wait much longer.”
With his admission we take full advantage of removing every last piece of clothing from the other’s body. Once I’m completely naked, he picks me up to move me back to the middle of the table and then he climbs up to join me, crawling over me until his body is above mine. We’re totally going to have sex on top of a pool table. This isn’t like me, but I love it.
