It’s time.
Brigid steps in with the brown-haired Danu at her back. My aunt, I suppose. It’s an odd realization, to think the goddess Danu, mother of the Tuatha Dé, is my aunt. It makes me shudder, and wonder what I’ll become.
How will I change?
Will I even be me anymore?
Brigid is carrying a tray with two items. The first is a simple old horn cup. The second is a stone jug. She looks at me, her pale blue eyes deep and troubled. “Are you certain this is what you want?”
I nod, not trusting my voice. But I’m certain this is the only way. The only way to get Mom back, the only way to beat the traitors’ game. It’s the only chance I have. This morning I would have made this choice for me, and the freedom it might bring. Now, I’m making the choice for us all.
Axel whispers from across the room. “Be strong, Kendry.”
Brigid sets the platter down and uncorks the jug. The liquid she pours is golden and amber colored, and very slightly smoky. It smells sweet like honey and herbs and spices, and something else I can’t place. It conjures half-remembered images that I can’t understand, almost as if they came from another life. It makes me dizzy. Danu steps forward, a small woman about my height, with dark brown hair and the same pale blue eyes as Brigid. When she smiles at me, it reaches all the way to those eyes.
She pulls me forward and wraps me in her arms. “Don’t be afraid, child.”
I can’t help it.
Brigid hands me the cup.
“What do I do?”
“Drink. Remember your choice. Remember why you’re choosing this. Hold onto that.”
I swallow. “And there’s no way to know how long it will take?” The smell from the horn cup is heady and overwhelming. It’s already affecting me.
Axel’s voice drifts towards me. The room already seems darker, colder. “It could take an hour, could take days. It varies with everyone.”
“And there has not been a new demi for a very long time.” Danu’s voice is soft.
I take the cup and sit on my bed, staring into the liquid gold. “So... I drink this.”
“There is an herb mulled into it that will make you sleep. As I told you earlier today, it will hurt. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that you are certain what you want.”
The mead has a faint glow to it as it swirls gently around. The horn cup itself is smooth, as though it’s been handled by hundreds of hands before mine, worn and polished by centuries of use. I pull my gaze away from it to find Axel. His dark eyes hold my sanity right now, even if his face is stern and emotionless.
“You’ll be here with me?” My voice is almost a whisper.
“We all will. Buc outside, your family inside. I made a promise not to let you out of my sight. We’ll be here.”
My family. It’s a concept I still can’t really grasp. I want to reach out for him, to hold him, as the sudden dread of this choice washes over me. For a moment, I want to go back to before all this, back to my clearing, where Mom was safe, and I knew a simpler truth. But life doesn’t work that way. And for all the confusion, I wouldn’t trade last night, and Axel’s kiss, for anything. Even if it can’t happen again.
I can still taste the rain on his skin.
The castle rocks with the force of an explosion, startling us all.
“It’s begun,” whispers Danu. “Quickly now,” she says, turning to me. “Drink and don’t look back. This was all written, long ago.”
Another explosion. As the castle shakes again, I take one last look at Axel, and upend the cup in one go. The golden mead slides down my throat like smooth, too-sweet liquid heat. For the second time today, my hands go numb. I don’t know where the cup has gone.
And then I don’t know where I’ve gone.
*
Red-eyed dogs haunt me. Sleek dogs, hunting dogs, with ice-white fur. They howl and bay, chasing me across the sky. They nip at my heels, my calves, my back, sending pain through me as I try and fail to outrun them. The starless sky burns black, reminding me of a lost memory from another life. Another life, because in this one, there is only the night, and the red-eyed white dogs.
I am the Hunted.
*
The green land around me burns with the fires of war. Grey-skinned giants wield the elements of a harsh nature against us. But we are the Tuatha Dé, the children of Danu. We do not waver. One giant stands taller than the rest, watching through a single eye. But even as I spy him, his great eye is levered open, the eyelid pried up with poles, so heavy it is.
Fear strikes my heart, for I know his eye means death.
Ravens fly around me. My arm raises without a thought, lifting the javelin high. I leap forward, my arm flung back, and then it slings forward. My javelin flies straight and true.
The eye is pierced, and the giant falls.
*
The red-eyed dogs leap. Claws dig at my back as I fall, teeth tear at me. But I will not give in. I shake them off, throw them off, and then I am back on my feet, running. Behind me, the white hunters give chase.
In the distance, a horn calls, low and mournful, chilling me to the bone. My lungs ache, my muscles burn. The hounds grow closer.
I am Hunted still.
*
A blonde haired man on a white horse steps out of the forest and fog. His green eyes are piercing, full of pain and hope and desire. Around him rides a procession of the fair folk, dark fae and light, for this is the Wild Ride of Samhain, and all the Host must collect the tithe.
I step out of the fog and into the crossroads. The fair-haired, green-eyed man sits up a fraction taller. But the Wild Ride passes me by, ignoring the human girl. Until I pull the man from his horse.
The dark queen screams, and my ears shatter. But I don’t flinch. I hold him, my green-eyed love, as his shape twists and turns, from monster to beast and back again, until the fear almost cripples me. But I hold, and finally he returns to his own form, and the queen stands defeated.
I have won him.
*
The hounds tear at me, their mouths red, ears red, eyes red. I throw them off and run, but they bear me down again and again. My body screams with pain. The sound of the horn grows closer.
My feet are not fast enough to bear me through this burning night and its bright-eyed hunting dogs.
But the Hunt goes on.
And so do I.
*
Hunting parties in my woods, again. I can hear their dogs bay, the hooves of their horses crash through the underbrush, their horns call. I can hear their voices.
I can hear his voice.
I nudge my white mount forward, eager to see him. But I musn’t let him know, this brash king, this friend of the Lord Underground. He sees me, shining and glittering in my golden glamour, and I know he is undone.
He shouts, and the chase begins. His men will not catch me. They cannot catch me. I am the queen of horses, I am speed. They chase, but they cannot win. The sun sets and rises, and sets again twice more.
When it rises the third time, and his men are gone, I allow him, and only him, to catch me.
Or so he thinks.
Because it is I who have caught him.
*
The horn calls from behind me, loud and terrifying. I can’t outrun it. The sleek, white hounds bear me to the ground one last time. I know I will not rise again.
Teeth and claws tear at me. I scream. My flesh rips and rends.
Still, I fight. I must fight. Something, someone, depends on me. Somewhere, there is a life that is not the Hunt. Somewhere, there is a life without this unending pain, without the teeth and claws of these white hunters. Somewhere, there is a life, and a choice.
But I can’t remember. I can’t remember my own name. Yet still, I fight. I fight the impossible pain of the fierce teeth and claws. I fight for me, I fight for a man that I can’t remember, I fight for the other life and the other choice, even as the hounds, with their red eyes and red ears and red mouths stained with my blo
od, rip me to pieces.
I fight.
The horn calls its last.
Feeble and failing, I fight.
And then they stop. They haven’t killed me, these sleek, white hounds of doom. I hear footsteps echo. A great shadow darkens the already too-dark and starless night. It leans over me, staring. I stare back, into burning black eyes.
Come back to me, his voice echoes in the dark.
And I remember.
I don’t understand my dreams. Flashes of memory not my own, fear and folly and triumph and an unending chase spiral into a drug and magic-soaked mess.
My headache is unbearable as they leave me. I feel like I’ve lived several lifetimes in minutes. My body is all pins and needles. But I feel the sun on my face, and it gives me hope, even though I know I’ll have to face it soon.
“Kendry?”
His voice, his whisper. I know his voice. He’s my reason, my hope, my sanity. He’s a memory of rain and passion and elation. I slog through the pain, with no idea where I’m going, but knowing I have to go, because he’s there, waiting. Waiting for me.
One eye peels open, and then the other. Axel’s deep black eyes stare back at me, full of both worry and hope. And then my body registers that I’m alive, and I wish I wasn’t.
“Give her this to drink,” Danu says. Her voice is quiet, and far off.
Axel’s eyes leave. Mine try to follow, but can’t. I can’t really move. His body looms outside my view. Then his hands are on me, pulling at me, lifting me up to sit against him. “Kendry, I need you to try and drink this. It’ll help.”
I try to talk, but I think I’m only making unintelligible noise. Warm liquid pours down my throat. I swallow reflexively. My eyes are tired again. Axel’s arms are around me, holding me to him. My head lies heavy on him, and the world slides away again.
I’m here, in his arms, and that’s all that matters.
*
The room is dark when I wake again. My body no longer burns, but I still feel weak. Like I did when I was fourteen and came down with pneumonia. So hard to move, to think about moving. I don’t feel any different. Just exhausted. And thirsty.
I make out the vague outline of a cup on the night table, and manage to convince my arm to reach for it. But the shadows move, bringing it to me.
Axel.
“Hey,” he whispers, helping me sit up. “How do you feel?”
I take a sip, happy to find plain old water in the cup. No more dreams, thank you. Their strangeness still echoes in my head. “Like I’ve been hit by a train.” I’m kind of surprised my voice works, but not at how rough it is.
“Brigid said you would. It’ll pass. And the rest?”
“I feel exactly the same as before, if you don’t count the whole hit-by-a-train part. Am I supposed to feel different?”
“It’s different for everyone.”
I’m waking up enough now that I can tell he’s being very cautious, very non-committal with his answers. “Axel, what’s going on? How long have I been out?”
He slides onto the bed, next to me. My heart skips a beat. “A few days.”
Hold up. “A few days?”
“It’s not unusual.”
I finally manage to move my hand up to hold my head. “Why do I feel like there’s a qualifier there?”
“Kendry…”
“What? Do I have horns or something?” I’m joking, but then I realize anything could’ve happened, and my hands move to feel the top of my head. “No horns.” My relief doesn’t last long. I run my hands over my body, I guess to make sure I’m still me.
“Demis don’t generally look anything but human. At least, not unless they want to, like your father.”
“Then what is it?”
He stares at me for a moment. “Are you sure nothing seems different?”
“It’s a little hard to tell, what with the epic headache, and how crazy-tired I feel, but not that I’m noticing. So seriously, what is it?”
He sighs. “Danu said the longer the change, usually the greater the power.”
“So you’re saying I should’ve woken up shooting lightning bolts or something.”
“You could have, yes. I’m not saying you should have.”
“But that’s what you were expecting.” The implications hit me hard.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You did. Maybe not in so many words, but you did. God, this… This is… I’m defective. It didn’t work. Axel, what if I’m still human? What if…” I stare up at him with mounting horror. “What if I’ve lost my one shot at fixing anything? Of being more than I was, or helping Mom?” My crescendoing panic only makes my head hurt more.
His voice in the dark doesn’t bring me comfort. “It didn’t fail, and you’re not defective.”
“You don’t know,” I whisper. I’ve never been so terrified, except for the moment I realized I couldn’t—we couldn’t—save Mom.
“I do know. If it had failed, you’d be dead.” I can the pain in his words, and in the back of my mind, it startles me. “It works, and you live, or it doesn’t, and you die. It’s simple that way.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Danu told me. Because I’ve seen it. Because I can tell you’re no longer human, the way I could tell that dark fae wasn’t Shelly. And because you are you, and you could not possibly be defective,” he finishes, his fingers tilting my face up to look at him. His black eyes stare into mine, certain, and for a moment, the world exists in them.
…it is I who have caught him.
…I have won him.
I pull away as the voices linger in my mind. Odd voices, half remembered.
“Kendry?”
“I thought…” There’s a small knock at the door, interrupting my confusion. We both turn as it opens, and I can make out Danu in the moonlight.
“How is she, Axel? Ah, no need to ask, I see. You’re awake.”
I push away from Axel so I can get up. I’d rather stay next to him, but it feels rude not to stand. But I’m not steady on my feet yet, and he’s there to catch me as I waver.
“It might take a bit for you to adjust,” Danu says. “The change is not kind.”
The floor shudders, and this time when I waver, I know it’s not me. A distant roar echoes through the night. “What was that?”
Danu chuckles. “Simyrna. One of the Conclave’s dragons. She’s guarding the lower tunnels.”
“Guarding? From what? Who?”
Axel sighs behind me. “I’m afraid we’re kind of under siege.”
I have a sudden flash of memory. An explosion, the castle rocking, Danu urging me to drink. “The traitors.”
“Yes,” replies Danu. “Far more than we expected or feared. There are a great many who do not like your mother’s kind. But we’ve been pleasantly surprised, as well.”
“How so?”
“By some who have stayed, who have chosen to believe in the Conclave. Some of those who have been most vilified and hated by the humans, some who owe their species’ near-extinction to millennia of being hunted by human hands. The dragons, for instance, and many of the werewolves. Even many of the obyri have elected to stay, though definitely not all of them.” Danu sighs. “We are split by our own civil war, it seems, and I fear the lengths those against us will go to meet their goal.”
“Wait, obyri? What are those?”
Axel answers. “You’d call them vampires, I think. The real kind, not the ones humans have been writing about for years. While the ones that stayed simply wish to be left alone, they’re still not someone you want to meet in the light of day. Let alone the dark of night. Terrify is what they were born to do.”
The idea is unsettling. “Fun. At least some of them stayed with us.” I don’t want to ask, but I have to. “What is their goal?”
“Destroy or enslave the humans. Take the world as their own.”
“Then we have to stop them,” I say, striding forward. Or trying, rather. My dramatic step
forward ends more like slapstick, since my legs aren’t at all steady yet. Fortunately, Axel catches me before I hit the floor.
“Easy, Kendry. Relax.”
“Axel is right. We are safe, for now. The castle is ours, the secret ways guarded. We are greater in number than the opposition, even if it is not by many. And you are not yet recovered.”
Axel’s strong hands help me to sit on the bed. “You need to rest, recuperate. Let your body grow into the changes that have happened. I know you want to help,” he says quickly as I begin to protest, “but give yourself time.”
Part of me agrees with them. I know I’ve slept for days, but still I feel unsteady and tired. There’s a part of me that is restless, that wants to go and help, wants to do something. If I’m not human anymore, I want to prove it. I want to know what’s been happening, if everyone is all right.
Axel’s dark eyes look hard into my own, and I know he sees the struggle there. “Everyone is fine. They never even got this far. Buc is still standing guard outside the door, Shelly and her boys are unharmed. Brigid and your father are well also. Rest. Rest so you can help later.”
I sigh, and nod. I hate his logic. But he’s right. I’m not really any use to anyone right now. Danu leaves, promising to check on me again later. She chats with Buc outside the door, leaving me staring even after she leaves.
“Hey.” Axel’s finger traces down my arm, calling back my attention. I turn back to him, and my eyes are caught, trapped by his black gaze. There’s so much emotion in his eyes. Worry, pride, happiness...and something I think might be desire, though I don’t think he means for me to see that. I’m not even sure that’s what it is.
“I’m proud of you, Kendry,” he says, confirming my thoughts. “I want you to know that.”
I shake my head. “Why?”
“For choosing this, and for choosing it because you believe in something greater.”
I give him a tired smile. “Thank you,” I whisper. Already my small exertions are catching up to me. “Axel…”
“Yes?”
“Can I see Shelly?” I never did get to talk to her, and now I want even more to.
He gives a small laugh. “Sleep first. I’ll get someone to let her know.”
ParaWars Uprising Page 15
