Grinning at her from behind the glass was the man with the Cheshire-cat smile.
First and foremost, this book would have been nothing worth reading if not for the tireless dedication, effort, and candor of my dear editor, Mary Lee Donovan. This book was a feral beast at times, and without you, Mary Lee, I would never have tamed it.
To my literary agent, Bernadette Baker-Baughman, for the enthusiasm you’ve always shown these strange little books and characters of mine. I am forever grateful that you’ve agreed to continue this journey with me. Also, many thanks to Victoria Sanders for all of your support, and Chandler Crawford for all the groundwork you laid with The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender. Thank you, Jessica Spivey, for all of the work you do behind the scenes, and Gretchen Stelter for starting it all!
I also owe an immense thank-you to the teams at Candlewick Press and Walker Books who have always treated me so well. Thank you for being oh, so good at what you do.
Writing can be a very solitary occupation, and I would be remiss not to thank the lovely creatures whose excitement and encouragement throughout this process have never faltered. Thank you to my fellow writers Lish McBride and Martha Brockenbrough, who are both so much more talented than I am. Thank you, Reba, Tiff, and Megan, all of whom I could always count on for a night of cocktails and conversation when I needed it most. Also thank you to Andrea, Annelise, Carissa, Duffy, Maren, Raquel, and Stephanie, whose goodness and beauty and light have surely found their way onto these pages. And thank you, Anna, for playing such an important role in the creation of this book and these characters from beginning to end. I am so glad we decided to be friends instead of enemies (because really, it could have gone either way).
Thank you to my family — Mom, Dad, Nichele, Kollin, and Kaeloni — who believe in me far more than I believe in myself. Thank you to Joe, whose love for me should serve as proof of his endless bravery and kindness. I love you and I like you. Can you thank your dog? I’m thanking my dog. Thank you to my constant companion, Mr. Darcy, the oldest, most curmudgeonly Chihuahua on the planet.
Thank you to independent booksellers, librarians, and bloggers the world over for putting books into the hands of the readers who need them. And thank you, my lovely readers. I am so glad you are here.
Finally, I would like to sincerely thank all you brave and beautiful souls who trusted me with the stories of your struggles with self harm. Your courage inspired me to write this story. May it remind all of us that our scars, be they on the inside or the outside, are proof not of our frailty, but of our strength. They are not evidence that the dark inside of us is something to fear.
No, it is the darkness that should be afraid of us.
If you or a loved one is struggling with self harm, please remember you’re not alone. Consider reaching out to one of these resources for help:
S.A.F.E. Alternatives (www.selfinjury.com) is a world-renowned treatment program dedicated to ending self-injurious behavior. Provides resources for families and schools, as well as a psychiatric locator. The S.A.F.E. Alternatives hotline is (800)-DONTCUT (366-8288).
Self Injury Foundation (www.selfinjuryfoundation.org) provides support, advocacy, and education for self-injurers and their families.
Self Injury Outreach and Support (www.sioutreach.org) is a nonprofit organization. Their website is filled with resources, videos, and personal stories told by people who have struggled with self harm. Self-injurers and those in recovery, as well as their loved ones, will all find resources here.
The Trevor Project (www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/self-injury-resource) is an online resource for LGBTQ teens who practice self harm.
Additional resources include:
selfharmUK: www.selfharm.co.uk
HelpGuide: www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
The Butterfly Project: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com
To Write Love on Her Arms: https://twloha.com
TheHopeLine: www.thehopeline.com/struggles-with-self-harm
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Copyright © 2018 by Leslye Walton
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
First electronic edition 2018
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number pending
Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
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