by Abby Klein
To Mom and Dad—
thanks for always
being there for me.
I love you.
—A. K.
I have a problem.
A really, really, big problem.
I hate doing homework, and
I have a report due next week.
Let me tell you about it.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Dear Reader
Chapter 1: The Assignment
Chapter 2: Hanging Around
Chapter 3: The Plan
Chapter 4: In the Dark of Night
Chapter 5: Is It Broken?
Chapter 6: Not So Bad After All
Chapter 7: King of the World
Chapter 8: The Report
Chapter 9: Help!
Chapter 10: Teddy Bear Underwear
Freddy’s Fun Pages
Freddy’s Shark Journal
A Very Silly Story
Go Batty
Freddy’s Other Adventures!
Copyright
DEAR READER,
I am both a teacher and a mom, so I really know how much kids hate homework! I know you love the weekends because then you don’t have to do any homework. As a teacher, I have heard all the excuses for why kids don’t have their homework: “I forgot it at home,” “I left it in my mom’s car,” “I dropped it on the way to school,” and of course, “My dog ate it.” One time a little boy in my class told me his dog ate his homework. I didn’t believe him until he showed me all the chewed-up pieces!
I hope you have as much fun reading Homework Hassles as I had writing it.
HAPPY READING!
CHAPTER 1
The Assignment
“OK, class,” said our teacher, Mrs. Wushy. “Please listen carefully. I’m going to tell you about a very special homework assignment.”
The class groaned.
“I think you will all really enjoy this assignment,” Mrs. Wushy continued. “Since we have been studying nocturnal animals, I thought it would be fun if you each chose a nocturnal animal to learn a little more about and then shared what you’ve learned with the class.”
“Oh, I want to do a bunny,” said Chloe, wrinkling up her nose. “They’re so soft, and cuddly, and cute.”
“Bunnies?” Max snickered. “You can’t do a bunny, stupid, because bunnies are not nocturnal.”
“Max, how many times have I told you not to use the word ‘stupid’?” Mrs. Wushy asked.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“But you are correct,” said Mrs. Wushy. “Bunnies are not nocturnal animals. Who remembers what nocturnal means?”
Robbie’s hand shot up. Robbie is my best friend, and he is really smart. He is like a walking encyclopedia of science.
“Yes, Robbie. Can you please tell us what nocturnal means?”
“If something is nocturnal, then it is awake at night and sleeps during the day. Humans are not nocturnal. We are diurnal. We like to sleep at night and are awake during the day.”
“Very good, Robbie. That’s right. Nocturnal animals do all of their work at night. They eat, hunt, and play when it is dark.”
“Oooh, that’s scary,” said Chloe. “I’m glad I’m not nocturnal. I’m scared of the dark,” she said, pretending to shiver.
Just then, Max, who was sitting right behind her, leaned over and shouted, “BOO!” in her ear.
Chloe jumped and screamed like a baby, “AHHHHHHHH!”
Max was rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically.
Chloe stood up, pouting, hands on her hips, and whined, “Did you see what he did, Mrs. Wushy? I think he should get a time-out!”
“Chloe,” said Mrs. Wushy, “you are not the teacher. I will take care of this. Max, you need to apologize to Chloe.”
“Sorry I scared you, little baby,” he said, still laughing.
“All right, that’s enough, Max. Please go sit in that chair over there.”
Max got up to go sit in the chair on the other side of the room, and Chloe smoothed her ruffled, pink, party dress and sat back down on the rug. I don’t know why she wears party dresses to school. She’s such a little fancy-pants!
“OK, now where were we?” Mrs. Wushy said and sighed. “Oh yes. Does anyone know what animal they’d like to do?”
Robbie raised his hand. “I want to do geckos because I have a leopard gecko named Violet at home. I could stay up late and study her.”
“Yes, Jessie,” said Mrs. Wushy.
“I’ll do raccoons. My abuela calls them bandidos because they look just like little robbers with their black masks.”
“Hey, that’s what I wanted to do!” Max called out from his chair.
“Well,” said Mrs. Wushy, “maybe next time you’ll be a better listener, and you can pick first. But for this assignment, Jessie gets to do raccoons.”
“Awww. That’s not fair, Mrs. Wushy,” Max complained.
“Max, not another word from you.”
Other kids kept raising their hands. It seemed as if everyone in the class had an idea except me.
“Freddy,” said Mrs. Wushy, “do you have any ideas?”
“Nope.”
“Well, you have time to think about it. Everyone will give a little report to the class next week. You might also want to include some pictures of your animals. I wrote the assignment down on this paper, so make sure you show it to your parents.”
“This is going to be so cool,” Robbie whispered excitedly.
“Yeah, right,” I whispered back. “Maybe for you, Brainiac. Hey, do you want to bring Violet over tonight, and we can stay up late and watch what she does at night?”
“Are you kidding? Your mother would never let me bring a lizard into your house.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Well, you and I can stay up late anyway, and see what it’s like to be nocturnal.”
“Yeah. Maybe we’ll even stay up all night,” Robbie said.
“Now you’re talking. I’ve never stayed up all night before. Great idea! I can’t wait!”
CHAPTER 2
Hanging Around
I could hardly wait for Robbie to come over. We had big plans for the night.
I strolled into the kitchen where my mom was baking brownies for a special chocolate-fudge-brownie sundae dessert. It was Robbie’s and my favorite: a thick, rich chocolate brownie, two scoops of vanilla ice cream, lots of fudge sauce, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. “Mmmm, those smell yummy!” I said. “Mom, how much longer until Robbie gets here?”
“Boy, you’ve sure got ants in your pants,” my mom said. “Do you two have something special planned for tonight?”
“No, just the usual,” I answered. There was no way I was going to let her in on our little secret. She would never let us stay up all night. Never.
“Like what do you have planned?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Watch some TV, play Trouble, trade baseball cards, tell each other ghost stories.”
“Trouble?” she asked. “What kind of trouble are you planning on getting into?”
“No, Mom, the game, Trouble. You know, the one where you pop that little bubble to roll the dice.”
“Oh, good. For a minute there you had me worried that you two were planning on getting into trouble.”
Just then my big sister, Suzie, walked into the room. “Trouble? Who’s getting into trouble?” she asked. “What did Freddy do this time, Mom?”
“Just shut up, Booger Breath!” I said. “I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what you always say,” she answered, sticking her tongue out.
“Leave me alone, Brat. Mom and I were just talking about to
night, and it’s none of your beeswax.”
“Ugh,” Suzie groaned. “I forgot you have your little sleepover tonight. I’ll have double trouble.”
“All right, Suzie, that’s enough,” my mom said. “Stop picking on Freddy.”
“Well, you guys better leave me alone this time,” Suzie continued. “Or you’ll be sorry,” she whispered in my ear.
“What are you talking about, Suzie?” my mom asked.
“Don’t you remember, Mom? The last time Robbie slept over, they put a snail in my bed, and when I got in, it started to crawl up my leg. It was the grossest thing that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t want to get in my bed for a week!”
“We didn’t put it there,” I said, giggling. “It crawled there all by itself. We left it on the bathroom mirror to see what kind of cool design the snail trail would make, but when we came back to check on it, it was gone. I can’t help it that it decided to crawl into your bed.”
“You brought that snail into the house?” my mom said. “How many times have I told you not to bring animals into this house? Especially slimy ones!”
My mom is a Neat Freak. We aren’t allowed to eat anywhere except in the kitchen, and the only pet I’m allowed to have is my goldfish, Mako, because he doesn’t shed, smell, or have a cage that needs cleaning.
“Sorry, Mom. I promise it won’t happen again,” I said.
“Yeah, right,” Suzie snickered.
Just when I thought I couldn’t wait any longer, the doorbell rang. “That must be Robbie. I’ll get it!” I called, as I ran to the door.
The night was just beginning.
CHAPTER 3
The Plan
I loved when Robbie came to sleep over. We always had so much fun. He was really good at making up secret plans, and tonight’s plan was the best one ever.
My parents had already tucked us in. They thought the two of us were asleep. I turned on my special sharkhead flashlight. “How are we going to stay up all night?” I whispered. “Last year on Christmas Eve, I tried to stay up all night and wait for Santa, but I fell asleep before he came.” I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Think, think, think.”
“Easy,” said Robbie. “We’ll read scary stories from your new shark book, Monsters of the Deep, play Space Invaders with our Commander Upchuck figures, eat lots of candy …”
“Candy?” I asked. “I don’t have any candy. You know my mom doesn’t let me eat anything in my room.”
“I know,” Robbie said, smiling. “That’s why I hid some in my backpack: jelly beans, chocolate bars, lollipops—the kind that take forever to suck.”
“You’re awesome!” I said, hugging him. “We just have to be extra careful that we don’t leave any wrappers lying around.”
“And then,” Robbie said, “when the house is quiet, and we know for sure that your parents are asleep, we’ll sneak out into the backyard and see what kind of nocturnal animals we can find!”
“You mean go outside in the dark?” I asked nervously.
“Yeah. My mom got me these really cool night-vision goggles, and I’ve been dying to try them out.”
“We’ll freeze out there.”
“Where’s your sense of adventure? Why are you being such a fraidy cat?”
“I’m not a fraidy cat.”
“Well, you’re sure acting like one,” Robbie said.
“I just want to make sure that we have it all planned out,” I said, “because I don’t want to wake up my parents. If they find out that I went outside in the middle of the night, I’ll be grounded for life! I did it once before to save that baby bird, Winger, and my dad thought I was some robber. He almost called the police! That night I promised him I would never go outside in the middle of the night again!”
“Stop worrying. They won’t find out. I know we have the perfect plan,” Robbie reassured me. “We wait until everyone is asleep, and then we go. It’ll be great. We can pretend that we’re secret agents on a special mission.”
Robbie read me scary shark stories by flashlight, and we stuffed ourselves with candy until the light in the hallway went off. That was our signal that everyone had gone to sleep. We waited a little while longer just to be safe. Then I carefully opened my bedroom door and peeked out. “The coast is clear,” I whispered to Robbie.
We quietly put our coats on over our pajamas and grabbed our shoes. “You have to carry your shoes and put them on downstairs,” I said. “I’m hoping my mom won’t hear us if we walk in our socks. Also, put your flashlight in your pocket and keep it off until we get outside. The night-light is on, so we can see our way down the stairs. Remember to skip the fourth stair from the top. It squeaks.”
Robbie gave me a thumbs-up.
This nocturnal adventure was going to be so cool. I waved my hand toward Robbie in a quick “let’s go” motion and whispered, “Come on.”
CHAPTER 4
In the Dark of Night
We started to tiptoe down the stairs in our socks. Robbie almost stepped on the fourth step, but I grabbed him just in time and yanked him back.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked.
I put my finger to my lips. “Shhhh. That was a close one. Remember, you have to skip that step.”
“Oh, yeah,” Robbie mouthed, nodding his head.
We made our way down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchen. By the back door, we sat down on the floor to put on our shoes. “What do you want to do when we get out there?” I asked Robbie.
“Let’s go exploring, and see what kind of night creatures we can find. With these night-vision goggles, I can see as well as an owl in the dark.”
“We still have to whisper when we’re outside,” I said. “I swear my mom can hear anything.”
I tried to turn the latch on the back door. “Rats!” I whispered.
“What?”
“This latch always gets stuck.”
“Let me try,” Robbie said, pushing me out of the way. He spit into his hands and then rubbed the spit on the latch.
“Ewww. Gross. What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to lubricate the latch.”
“What? Uh, could you speak English, Einstein?”
“I’m trying to get the latch wet. So it slides more easily.”
“Well then, why didn’t you just say that?” I said.
Robbie rubbed on a little more spit. “Got it!” he said.
The latch turned, and we were finally in the backyard. “Brrrr. It’s freezing out here,” I said. My teeth were chattering. “How do these nocturnal animals stay warm?”
“They have fur, and they move around a lot,” Robbie said. “Just don’t stand still, and you won’t be so cold.”
We walked to the back of the yard and searched the ground for animal tracks.
“Hey, Freddy, look at this,” Robbie said, motioning for me to come closer. “It looks like the footprints of a possum.”
“How do you know what possum footprints look like?” I asked.
“I saw them in a book once. I bet it’s around here someplace. I’m going to go over there,” he said, pointing at my garage, “and see if it’s up on the roof.”
While Robbie was tracking the possum, I was getting bored, and my fingers were starting to freeze. I decided to keep warm by climbing the tallest tree in my yard.
“I know,” I called to Robbie. “You stay on the ground and use your goggles. I’ll climb the tree and let you know if I see it from up there.”
“You’re going to go climb that tree in the dark?”
“Yeah, why not? I’ve done it so many times I could do it with my eyes closed.”
“All right.”
As I started to climb up the trunk, I lost my grip and fell to the ground.
“Are you OK?” Robbie whispered.
“Yeah, fine,” I answered. “It’s hard to get a good grip because my hands are cold. Now I know why raccoons and possums have sharp claws.”
I started back up the tree agai
n, and this time I reached my favorite branch and sat down. I was finally big enough to climb as high as the third branch. “See anything yet?” I called down to Robbie in a whisper.
“No!”
“Me neither.”
As I sat in the tree waiting for Robbie to find something, I slowly scooted my body farther out on the branch. Then I gripped the branch with the back of my knees and let go with my hands. “Hey, look at me!” I called to Robbie. “I’m hanging upside down just like a poss …”
The next thing I knew, the branch broke, and I hit the ground with a THUD!
“AAAAHHHHHHH!”
CHAPTER 5
Is It Broken?
The emergency room was full of people, even in the middle of the night! We had already been waiting there an hour, and my right arm was killing me. My mom was convinced that it was broken.
“When is it going to be our turn?” Suzie whined. My parents had to wake her up in the middle of the night to come to the hospital with us.
“Don’t even start, Suzie,” my dad said.
“If anyone should be complaining, it’s Freddy,” my mom said, turning to me. “Are you OK, baby?” She had tied a blanket under my arm and around my neck like a sling to keep my arm from moving.
“It really hurts, Mom,” I said, sniffling.
“Can you wiggle your fingers like this?” my dad asked, moving all his fingers up and down.
“Nope,” I said, wincing in pain.
“Boy, his fingers are so swollen, they look like little sausages,” Suzie said.
“If they weren’t so swollen, I’d give you a big knuckle sandwich right now,” I said, glaring at her.
“Stop it right now, you two,” my dad said, gritting his teeth.
Just then, the nurse called my name: “Freddy Thresher.”
