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Table of Contents
Southern Howl | Hildie McQueen
Other Great Magic & Mayhem Series Authors
Southern Howl
Hildie McQueen
Chapter One
It was the worst time to be focusing on a man's crotch. But the fact it was framed perfectly in Jane Johnson's mirror made it impossible. She giggled despite the blue lights flashing into her car.
As the trooper walked closer the crotch grew. A chuckle escaped and Jane coughed to cover it up. Unfortunately, when he got to the driver's side window, once again the full package was framed.
A peal of laughter escaped. The more she tried to stop, the harder it became. So yeah, she was laughing when he asked for her license and registration. It helped a little when he leaned over and gave her an annoyed look. "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to get out of the car."
Jane held her hand up. "I'm not drunk, I promise. It's just something made me laugh. Give me a minute."
The trooper cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes narrowing as he studied her face.
Pretty sure it was beat red.
"Come on, step out of the car."
"Okay. I'm coming." The tone of his voice sobered her up and she opened the door and climbed out. It was then she realized it probably didn't look good that she continued to chuckle while doing so.
He was tall, well built and very pissed off.
"Put your hands on the car and spread your legs."
Now why did he have to say that? Jane lost it and fell to the ground laughing so hard she was crying. Of all the stupid times to get a laughter attack. It happened to her more often than anyone would think. No matter what anyone said, once she got started, everything tickled her.
"Oh my God. Oh my God," Jane gasped. "I can't stop.” She let out a breath and wiped at the tears. "I'm so sorry."
After getting to all fours, she finally managed to stand and leaned on the car. The trooper's flat eyes roamed over her. "You tore your pants."
"Shit, they're brand new.” She leaned over and inspected her knees. "Dagnabbit!"
Obviously, he'd given up on frisking her because now he stood back with his arms crossed. "You were driving erratically. Was that because you were laughing at something?"
"What? No...I was..." Jane inspected her now ruined manicure. "Well shit. I was painting my nails."
"While driving?"
She looked up and down the empty road. "I haven't seen a car in like half an hour. I think the public is pretty safe."
"What about you? Distracted, you could have hit a tree or a deer." His southern drawl combined with the deep voice made her lean forward just a little. "I suggest you wait until you get home to finish up."
"Yeah, about that. It's been a while since I visited Auntie Scootie, can you tell me where Bellow's Road is?"
His eyes widened then he frowned. "You're related to those crazy people?"
Jane started to defend her family, but then thought better of it. They were crazier than a mad hatter. "Unfortunately, yes. As I demonstrated just a bit ago, I fit right in."
"We get calls all the time. Noisy bunch, loud howling dogs some nights."
"Oh...right." Made sense since they were all wolves. She sniffed at the trooper, hiding it with a loud snort. Not exactly ladylike, but she had to see if he was a shifter or not. If he was, then she'd love to see him shift and other stuff.
There was a recessive gene, but not enough that he would know about it, unless someone told him. Most people in Jasper County were at least part wolf, since her family had lived there since coming to America from the old country at least two hundred years ago.
"They're a pack of wolves," she said waiting for his reaction.
"I think they're Rottweilers," he responded. "I saw the dogs last time I was there. Never saw any wolves."
So nope, he wasn't aware of the truth. Too bad. She'd like to get to know the hot trooper more.
He looked to the left and pointed. "Go down another three miles or so. You'll see the crooked mailbox and a huge American flag hanging on a pole. That's it."
Jane smiled. Her family may be crazy, but they were patriotic.
"Well, I better scoot."
"I haven't written your ticket yet."
"For what?"
"Driving crazy."
She smiled at him. "Is that what you're doing to put on it? That I was driving crazy?"
His lips twitched. "Driving while polishing. I'll add that, too. Unless."
"Unless what?" Jane was in full flirt mode now, twirling her hair around a finger and doing some sort of snake dance motion, which was probably not alluring in the least.
"You go out with me."
"Oh!” She pretended to be surprised. "That would be great."
"How about Friday? I'll pick you up around eight."
"Ummm... how about I meet you?” The last thing she needed was a date coming around protective male wolves.
The trooper agreed and let her go. Minutes later the crooked mailbox came in to view. One more strong wind and the thing would be sideways on the ground. The oversized flag next to it flapped in the wind.
When she slowed down to turn, the Star Spangled Banner played from some sort of rigged up speaker in a box at the foot of the flagpole. Only her family would spend good money on something like that and ignore the mailbox right next to it.
Bellow's Road was a dirt road that went back for a mile, winding around trees and a small, man-made pond before reaching a fence.
A "Beware of Guard Dogs" sign made her shake her head until she spotted a pair of Rottweilers that ran to the gate. The dogs sniffed in her direction and then ran off to fight over a big ball.
"What the hell?" Jane said out loud. "For Pete's sake, since when do weres need guard dogs?"
The fence opened with squeaks and jerks. The wheels rolled slowly pulling the barbed wire-topped gate to the right. Finally, it was wide enough for her Jeep to drive through and she tapped the gas, not sure if she should drive slowly in case the dogs came back. It wasn't as if the gate would hit her.
Once she drove past the fence, she watched in the rearview mirror as the contraption continued to open. By the time it began closing, the entire town of Jasper, Kentucky could be inside.
She drove a few hundred yards when her relatives’ homes, or as she called it, Shantyville, came in to view. Four small houses, each with a metal-covered open garage, stood spaced unevenly apart.
Under the protection of the garages were sparkling clean, expensive Ford F250s of different colors. A couple of them sheltered two trucks.
On the closest home, a storm door hung haphazardly by a screw and a prayer. More than one sported broken windows. The only house that stood out was the last one on the left. The red brick structure had no broken windows, what looked to be a very expensive wooden front door and ferns hanging on the small porch that set it apart.
Jane parked in front of the storm door accident waiting to happen and honked. It was never a good idea to walk up unexpected to a were's home. One could lose a limb before they recognized you as family.
The door flew open and a short, freckled woman was framed in the doorway. Aunt Scootie, in all her splendor, stood with her feet apart and hands on her wide hips. Flame-red hair pulled into a high ponytail topped what could only be called a five-foot tall montage of lipstick, leopard print and sparkling nails.
"Girl, get out of the car and come gimme some sugar!" she hollered, rushing to the passenger side of Jane's car. "Well I'll be slapped upside the head with a foot long dong. I can't believe you finally came to visit."
Jane climbed out, prepared for a hug that woul
d make her burp and gasp for breath. Sure enough, her aunt yanked Jane into a tight embrace.
"What brings you to Jasper?"
"Hi, Auntie. I know it's been too long. Just haven't been able to come visit because..." She didn't have the heart to tell her it was too overwhelming to be around her mother's crazy family. So she fibbed. "Cause I've been working super long hours and been sick, too."
"Sick? For almost a year?" Her aunt frowned. "Since when do weres get sick? Must be your daddy’s side. He's more human than wolf. Humans and their colds, low immunities and such."
Of course, being an idiot, she'd given the wrong excuse. Being sick worked at her office when she decided to take a day off, but wolves never got sick. "It was a stomach bug. I ate rotten stuff."
Once again, she screwed up. Wolves could pretty much scarf down melted, moldy, dead raccoons and never so much as have a twinge. "I mean, yeah... How are you?” She diverted the conversation.
"Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking competition," her aunt said, pulling her towards the front door. "You’re staying a while aren't you? I have something important to talk about."
"That's why I came, Auntie. You made it seem quite dire."
"Die? Nobody's dying, honey." Her aunt gave her a side squeeze. "You got prettier since the last time I saw you. Perfect."
"For what?
"Oh, you'll see," her aunt said as she smiled.
Just then, the dogs rushed towards them, tongues lolling sideways. Her aunt turned and growled, stopping them in their tracks. "I don't know why your cousins had to go and get dogs. The damn things have a fit any time anyone shifts and shit all over the place."
Jane looked around. "Where are Mark and Clark?” Her twin cousins were always either tinkering with their trucks or chasing after women in town.
“They're out over at the county fair. Took time off from the garage to work as carnies. Claim they can get girls that way. You'd think they'd grow up by now and settle down."
"They're only twenty-five. Still pups Auntie," Jane said even though she agreed with her aunt. The twins were too good-looking for their own good and forever getting into some sort of trouble.
"Yeah well, your Uncle Walt is fit to be tied. With only Vance to help, he’s behind at the garage. Good thing Dale goes over and helps every once in a while."
At the mention of Dale's name, Jane's stomach pitched. She'd not seen her ex since the day he forbid her from going to college and demanded they get married. Never mind they'd both been dating other people. He'd always been possessive.
"He's still around?"
Her aunt nodded with a knowing grin. "And still single, too."
"Shoot. Don't want to run in to him if I can help it." Jane climbed onto a barstool and watched as her aunt finished making lemonade.
"So why exactly is going on, Auntie? You were so cryptic about the reason, never giving me any full answers. I took two weeks off to come down and help, but that's as long as I can stay.” Sure, she could telecommute and work from anywhere, but her family didn't have to know that.
"Oh, look there. You're Aunt Charlene is outside naked as a jaybird. That woman don't have a lick of sense."
Jane joined her at the window. Sure enough, the woman was sprawled out on a lawn chair with only sunglasses and a smile. She waved at them and lifted a drink in salute. Hopefully, she'd find a towel before coming over to greet her.
"So she's still a sex goddess." Jane laughed at her Aunt Scootie's scowl. "I bet the men love it when she's out sunning."
"Yeah, well, Walt is forbidden from looking out this window. I keep telling Charlene I'm going to douse her with a hose one day.”
"Hello! Hello! Hello!” Charlene burst through the front door. Thankfully, she'd donned what looked to be the skimpiest cover-up on planet Earth. The sheer fabric fell to just below her butt cheeks and the low neckline skimmed the top of her areolas.
"I can't believe you're here.” Once again, Jane was squashed to within an inch of her life. The expensive fragrance her aunt wore made Jane smile despite the lack of oxygen. Some things never changed.
"Let me look at you," Charlene said, looking her over.
Scootie huffed. "We don't have to ask you, we can see all of you. Cover your ass, Charlene. Walt will get home any minute."
Aunt Charlene ignored her sister and grinned approvingly at Jane. "You are a beauty. I'll have to admit, you had a good idea, Scootie."
"Will someone please tell me why I was summoned?" Jane asked, her ire rising. "If someone doesn't tell me something, I'm going to have a fit."
"It's not that big of a deal," Aunt Charlene said, tapping her cheek.
"Nope," Scootie agreed. "We just need you to seduce Dale. Distract him so Mark or Clark can become the next alpha pack leader."
"What? I can't. I have a date on Friday," Jane blurted. Damn the one thing she'd not planned to share.
"With who?" both sisters asked at once.
"The trooper I met just a bit ago. Officer Murphy, Murray or...something.” She'd forgotten to ask his name. They'd exchanged numbers and she'd looked at his badge, but in her excitement, she'd not asked his first name.
"No way!" Charlene yelled. "I've had my eye on that hot number since he moved to town last year."
"You can't date him, he's not a wolf." Scootie poured two glasses of lemonade and handed her one.
Charlene watched as they both drank, but ignored the obvious ploy for her to leave and fetched a glass.
"I am not going to marry him, it's just a date. He is wolf, just a bit." Jane gulped down the drink. "Besides, I'm not seducing Dale."
"Yes you will. Wait until you see him." Charlene took a long pull of lemonade, shook her head and fanned her face with both hands. "He has turned into a hunk of a man."
"Shut up, Charlene," Scootie said as she shoved her sister aside and yanked the glass from her hand. "Go on home, get dressed and come back when you're decent. We have to explain the rest to Jane."
Great. Jane went toward the front door. "I'm getting my bags. But mark my words. I'm not sleeping with Dale Powers."
She let out a breath once she went outside. Now why did she all of a sudden want to see for herself if it was true that he'd turned into a hunk of a man?
Chapter Two
"Hey, Cuz!" Mark and Clark pulled up in a black Ford truck and leaned out the window. Both had wide, devilish grins that usually had women falling to their knees, literally.
"Hey," Jane responded with a matching grin. It was hard not to like the boys regardless of how irresponsible they could be. "I heard you're carnies now."
The doors opened and both got out. Although they were identical, the telltale long hair always gave away which one Clark was. He neared and took her small suitcase, lifting it easily. "What brings you to the boondocks?"
Mark, always the more daring and definitely crazier brother, climbed up to the truck bed and winked at her. "Watch this."
He jumped to the side of the truck bed and somersaulted off. Jane yelped. Of course the maniac landed perfectly on his feet. "Ha ha, you're such a girl."
"And you're still an idiot." Jane slid a glance toward Aunt Scootie's house. "Do one of you really want to be the new pack alpha?"
"Hell yeah," both responded heads bobbing. "That would rock," Clark added.
"What about council meetings with other alphas and governing?" Jane asked, noticing both scowled at her realistic disclosure.
Mark let out a sigh. "That part isn't too bad. We'll help each other out. Tag team thing. You know?"
"That's not allowed. If you want the position, you have to do it alone. You have to fight the other challengers for the position."
The twins looked at each other and then back to her. Mark leaned closer. "We've been training at the boxing ring. Got this." He performed a rather complicated routine of jabs, kicks and grunts. "Not a problem."
The twins high-fived and Jane walked away. If anything, she'd be urging Dale to do anything in his power to keep
Tweedledee and Tweedledum from it.
Dinner was rather entertaining. Charlene returned a bit more covered up, but decent wasn't quite how Jane would describe it. Dressed in a neon orange romper, with an elastic band barely holding it up across her ample bosom, it was a disaster waiting to happen. Not even the twins dared to sit across from her.
The conversations went from NASCAR racing to who they would like to see be in the next episode of Dancing with the Stars. Although she'd been gone for over a year, Jane had to admit, it was fun being around the crazy crew and she'd missed them.
Finally her Uncle Walt cleared his throat and everyone quieted. One thing about wolves, they always gave the floor to the male of the house. "Jane, you don't need to stay away so long. I know we ain't the most civilized, but we're family." His warm gaze made the words easier to take. Guilt settled in her chest with a cup of coffee and a book making itself at home. "No matter what crazy notion Scootie has up her sleeve, it's nice to see you here."
"It's not crazy. One of our boys should be the next pack leader," her aunt said, slapping Clark's hand when he reached for a second biscuit. "Ask for the damn plate, don't be reachin' over people," she scolded, handing the platter to him. "How in the hell do you plan to be a leader with those manners?"
Jane pressed her lips together at Clark's glum expression as he eyed the butter dish in the center of the table, unsure of who to ask for it. She took pity on him and pushed it towards him.
"How are your parents doing?" her uncle asked.
"Great, they're having a great time living in Fort Lauderdale. Dad misses living here, but loves the community there and his job.” Jane couldn't help but smile. "They're coming up next week, aren't they?"
"Well, of course," Charlene piped up waving her long fingernails in the air. "Everyone's going to be here for the Gathering."
"Gathering?" A huge ball of dread shoved guilt aside. "It's this month?"
"Didn't they tell you?" Aunt Scootie's conniving smile told she knew Jane had just been blindsided.
"No."
"Interesting," someone said. A rabbit hole opened up and Jane fell down, down, down. Her vision narrowed and a buzzing sounded in her ears.
Southern Howl Page 1
