by J. Kenner
For a moment, he doesn’t react. Then he nods slowly and strokes my hair, his eyes hard on mine.
“It’s not your fault,” Brandy says softly. “She really did love you. It just all went sideways for her. She was messed up, but that’s not on you.”
“No,” he agrees. “It’s not. But it still hurts.”
“I get that,” she says as I stand. The electric kettle is beeping, and I go back to get her water and the coffees for me and Devlin.
“I should probably call Christopher,” Brandy says. “He was a mess about the murder in general, and he probably knows about Joseph by now—he’s got his research sources in the LCPD. I hate that he’s alone.”
“You should tell him to come back,” I say, setting down a tray with our drinks before taking a seat on the arm of Devlin’s chair.
“Yes,” Devlin says. “Let him know that there’s no blowback on him. We’re not painting him with the same brush as his brother. Believe me, I know what it’s like to be judged by the actions of a family member.”
“I guess you do,” Brandy says. “I’m really sorry about that. I saw the coverage.” She makes a face. “Hard to avoid since it’s all over social media. And to have that tossed at you on what was supposed to be such an amazing day. It sucks.”
“I’ll survive,” Devlin says. “So will Christopher.”
She pulls her feet up and hugs her knees to her chest. “Yeah. I hope so.” I’m trying to think what to say, when she continues. “How’s Lamar?”
“It’s hard,” I say as Devlin puts an arm around my shoulder. “But he’s hanging in there.”
“And he’s really coming here? You texted that he’s staying the night, too, but where is he?”
“On his way,” Devlin says. “He promised.”
I grimace, not entirely sure he’ll keep that promise. “He lives in Tracy’s building,” I point out. “Easy enough for him to change his mind and simply go crash in his own unit.”
“Then we’ll go there,” Brandy says firmly. “He shouldn’t be alone.”
“No, he shouldn’t,” Devlin said. “But he gave me his word. Let’s give him a few more minutes before we call to check on him.”
“Will he be allowed to work the case?” Brandy asks. “For that matter, should he?”
“He will,” I tell her. “I asked the Chief about that. We both think it’ll help him with closure. I hope we’re right.”
“Good,” she says. “And he can stay here as long as he wants. We can put him in your room. Honestly, I’ll be glad for the company. Not trying to guilt you, but I miss having you around.”
The house is a two-story with three bedrooms, the master taking up the entire upstairs. Brandy has a sweet deal in that she essentially has the place to herself in exchange for minimal rent and basic housekeeping tasks. The owner—who she calls Mr. Big Shot—is away except for a few weeks out of every year, so when I got the Laguna Cortez assignment, I’d bunked in the guest room, and it was almost like we were college roomies again.
Technically, I haven’t moved out, but I spend most nights at Devlin’s. Eventually, of course, I expect to move in with Devlin. But what with him killing my uncle, running away, and then turning into an entirely different person, we missed out on a lot of basic dating moments. And the truth is, I want that. Meeting for coffee. Going to the movies. Staying over at each other’s places.
Silly, maybe, but it’s important to me, and I’m lucky enough to be in love with a man who understands that.
“I miss you, too,” I say. “And Devlin and I are going to stay here, to.” We hadn’t talked about it, but Devlin nods. “So Lamar can take the master,” I add.
Brandy makes a face. “I’ve never let anyone use the master. I suppose I could—Big Shot never said not to—but it feels weird. And, honestly, it’s fine. If Lamar’s here, it’s all good. Go on to Devlin’s, and you two can bound around naked without worrying about getting caught.”
Devlin squeezes my hip. “See? I told you we should be bounding. She never takes advantage of opportunities,” he adds to Brandy, making her laugh. “But despite the allure of chasing Ellie naked around the house, we are staying here for the time being. Give Lamar the master suite. You have the run of the place, right? So I can’t imagine your boss would mind. And, honestly, I’ll feel better having both of you in my sight.”
“You’re sure?”
He nods. “Absolutely.”
“Okay. But you two take upstairs. It’s got a king bed, and it just feels more fair.”
“And Lamar can have my room,” I say. “Done.”
“Slumber party,” Brandy says with a grin. The humor fades quickly, though, and she draws a deep breath. “God. Poor Lamar.” She blinks. “Poor Tracy.” A tear escapes, and she grimaces. “Sorry. It just sort of hits me, you know?”
“I know,” I say. “Me, too.”
“I’m am truly sorry about all of this,” Devlin says.
“Sorry? We’ve already established that it’s not your fault. And you two are the ones he’s targeting.”
“But he started with Tracy,” Devlin says gravely. He reaches over and takes her hand. “Not Ellie, who he knew would truly wreck me.” He closes his eyes, draws a breath, then goes on. “He might be working his way down a list. It’s a long shot—Lamar and I both think he won’t run the risk of getting caught by taking his time that way—but I want you to stay diligent.”
“I don’t know what—” Her eyes dart to me and then back to Devlin. “Oh.”
“Like I said, I’m sorry.”
“Be diligent about setting the alarm,” I say.
“And they’re assigning an officer to watch the house.”
Her brow furrows. “How worried do I need to be?”
Devlin takes one of her hands. “Not worried. Diligent. Okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, right.” She nods, reassuring herself. “Just precautions.”
“We’re working on neutralizing the threat,” he says, and Brandy snickers.
Devlin and I exchange glances. “Not the reaction I was expecting,” Devlin says.
“It’s just that I feel better hearing you say that. Sounds very in command and serious.”
“In that case, I’ll batten down the hatches, too,” he promises, making her laugh outright. “Seriously, this is priority. Hopefully, we’ll have Blackstone charged and in custody soon. You’re not a glaring target, but we’ll take the potential seriously. Hopefully, the threat will be short term.”
“I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.” She bites her lower lip.
“What?” I ask.
“Is it okay if—I mean, if he doesn’t feel too awkward—if Christopher stays here with us? The place will be crowded, so maybe not all the time, but—”
“Are you kidding? Of course, that’s fine with us.” I probably sound too eager, but at the time we’d left for New York, they’d slept together, but everything was still very new. If they’re close enough that she wants him her to help her through all this, then I suppose everything is going well on the relationship front. Which, considering all of Brandy’s hesitations and issues, is absolutely terrific news.
And, yeah, I’m nosy enough to want to get a better sense of who my best friend is dating. Especially considering who his half-brother is.
I frown, immediately chastising myself for letting my thoughts go that direction. Like Devlin had already pointed out, it was unfair of me to paint him with the same brush as his brother.
“Devlin?” Brandy asks, as if where Christopher sleeps is up to him.
“That’s your call,” he tells her. “And like I said, the goal is for this investigation to happen fast. Get proof, get Blackstone, get this thing wrapped up.” He’s outlining what Saint’s Angels will do, of course, but Brandy doesn’t know that. I assume that she believes he’s consulting with the police. Or simply being the powerful local citizen he is and stepping up to the plate. God knows he could buy an army of private investigators.
> Whatever Brandy thinks, though, the ultimate goal is to find Blackstone and confirm that he’s guilty.
And then, as Devlin said, they’ll neutralize the threat.
And, I think, that’s another reason for Christopher to stay here. Good relationship or not, it will be weird when his brother is arrested. If nothing else, Brandy will want to be around to console him.
I draw a breath, that word lingering in my mind.
Neutralize.
Such plain language for a not very plain deed.
Even a day or so ago, that might have been something I would take Devlin to task for. Not today. Not when stopping Blackstone’s vendetta could save lives, my own included.
I blink, realizing I’ve been lost in my own thoughts, only to find Devlin’s looking at me. “What?” I ask.
I see the smile in his eye and am certain he can read my thoughts. I scowl a little as the smile spreads to his lips. “I love you,” he says. “That’s all.”
Brandy presses a hand over her heart and looks about as melty as I feel. “We’re all going to be fine,” she says, because Brandy always looks on the sunny side of things. “And I promise I’ll be careful. I have a ton of work I can do here, so I’ll just mostly stay inside.”
“A plan,” I say, then jump as the doorbell rings.
Brandy gets up to answer it even as Devlin calls out, “Camera!”
“Right, right.” She snatches up her phone, looks at the security feed, and smiles at me. “Lamar.”
Chapter Fifteen
“You’re here,” Brandy says, throwing her arms around Lamar, as tears roll down her cheeks. “I’m so, so sorry about Tracy,”
Lamar clings to her, holding her tight, as if he’s afraid of losing her, too. I hurry over and join them, losing myself in this embrace with my two best friends. Behind us, I hear Jake whine, and Lamar actually laughs.
“It’s hard,” he says. “It’s harder now. In her apartment, at least I could tell myself I was working, block it all away. Here though...”
“I know,” Brandy says. “But we all understand, and it’s better here than by yourself.”
He takes her hand and their fingers twine together. Finally, he looks between the two of us and over my head at Devlin. “Yeah. It’s better to be here with you guys. Family, right?”
I meet Brandy’s eyes, and look back at Devlin, holding my hand out for him. He joins us. “Yes,” he says. “Family,” and I know he means it. For Devlin more than anyone, family is who you choose, not what you’re born into.
Jake bends his front paws down to the ground and whines a little until Lamar drops to his knees and scratches him, accepting big sloppy dog kisses that make him laugh. It lightens the mood a bit, and I’m grateful to the silly dog.
Brandy steps back, released from the tight knit of our embrace. She looks slightly at loose ends as she glances among us. “Um, so do you want coffee? A drink?”
Lamar shakes his head. “I’m not avoiding you, I promise. But I’m exhausted.” He’d stepped inside with a bag, and now he bends to pick it up again. “I brought a few things. If you don’t mind, right now I need sleep. And I think I need to be alone.”
“Whatever you need,” I tell him. “You’re taking my room. Devlin and I will go upstairs.” Lamar shoots a sideways glance at Brandy. “Look at you becoming a risk-taker. Letting someone else sleep upstairs.”
She rolls her eyes, but I know that’s exactly what she’s thinking.
As Lamar heads toward the room, he pauses, then turns back to look to Devlin. “You meant what you said? You’ll tell me? Whatever you learn, right?”
Devlin nods. “Of course. And hopefully there’ll be reciprocity?”
Lamar’s gaze is hard as he meets Devlin’s eyes. “Even if I have to share off-book, I will. I’ll cut corners if I have to. I want to nail whoever did this to Tracy.”
He doesn’t meet my eyes as he turns and goes to the bedroom, but I stand in shock looking after him for a moment. Lamar is the most straight-laced cop I know. Tracy’s death has hit him hard, but I’m surprised that he’s willing to share investigative information that might otherwise be confidential.
“It matters to him,” Devlin says, when I raise my brows in question. And that, I think, is the bottom line.
As Brandy follows him to make sure that he’s got clean sheets and towels, I turn to Devlin. “Did you tell him about Saint’s Angels?”
“No. But he knows about the foundation, and he knows we have an investigative arm. He made assumptions, and I rolled with it.”
That makes sense. Lamar might be willing to cut some corners to take down Tracy’s killer, but I don’t know that he’d be completely on board with an organization like Saint’s Angels. That’s not the kind of cop he is.
But at the same time, I’m learning that reality shifts all the time. What you once thought you would never be able to do, becomes easier and easier when people you love are in danger. And after that, it’s a slippery slope to helping anyone who’s in a dark path. Whether you know them or not, you still want to save them. That’s how Devlin’s been thinking for years, wanting to push all of the people he could out of his father’s dark path, and now making up for lost time for what he could never manage as a child.
When Brandy comes back, we say our goodnights, too.
It’s been a hell of a day, and thought I just want to retreat upstairs, I hate leaving her alone.
She shakes her head and swears it’s fine. “I’m taking Jake to bed with me,” she says. “He usually sleeps in his crate, and he’ll think it’s an incredible treat. And the truth is, I’m completely wiped out. I’ve never felt so emotionally empty. Unless Jake keeps me awake, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be asleep within minutes.”
“Yeah, I get it.” We hug, and I hear her stuttered intake of breath, like the precursors of tears that don’t quite come.
We’re all feeling broken, I think as we head upstairs. And Devlin most of all.
I’m not sure what I’m expecting, but it’s not the rough way that he grabs my arm and pulls me to him, capturing my mouth with his, his hands twined in my hair as he tilts my head back, kissing me with such wild intensity that or teeth clash and I taste blood.
He’s breathing hard when he pushes me away. “Dammit, El,” he begins. “I shouldn’t—”
I grab his collar and pull him close again. “Yes,” I say. “You should.” My body feels hot and cold all at the same time, and I know he’s just flipped a switch inside of me. I’d turned everything inside me off in order to get through the last twenty-four hours. Neither one of has really slept, not even on the plane, and the horror of Tracy’s death and the circumstances have been chipping away at both of us. I need release. I need oblivion. I need to feel something other than this numb, painful horror.
I need Devlin. And I know that he needs me, too.
“It’s eating at me,” he says, backing away from me and running his fingers through his hair. He takes off his glasses and tosses them onto the bedside table, then rubs his hands over his face as if in exhaustion.
And he is exhausted. His face is pale, making the scar that cuts down the right side of his face stand out. “I need you,” he says. “I need to dial this in.”
I nod. I need him, too. More than that, I understand what he’s saying. These last few days, the world has been unraveling around us. Around him. A man used to being in control. Used to pushing buttons and making things happen behind the scenes. A man used to saving people, not losing them. Control has slipped from his grasp, and more than anything he needs to get it back. He will, I know. Of course, he will. But he needs it now, and the world isn’t bending to his will.
But me…
I’ll bend, and willingly, too. Because I need it as much as he does. He needs to push the limits of control? Well, I need to push the danger.
I draw a breath and step closer, my heart pounding in my chest, my skin tingling with need. I start to speak, but I don’t get the chance. He
takes my wrist and pulls me to him, then twists it behind me so that I’m pressed up against him, unable to move.
“I need it hard,” he says, his body pressing against mine and his erection underscoring the words. “Tell me to stop now if you want, because once I have you in that bed, I’m not stopping for anything.”
“Don’t you dare stop,” I say, then cry out when he grabs the waistband of the leggings I’m wearing and rips them right down the seam. He tumbles me back onto the bed, then tugs the remnants of the leggings off me. “Over,” he says, using his hands to indicate that he wants me on my stomach.
I do as he says, my body flat on the bed. My head is turned, and I can see him in my periphery as he undresses, then joins me on the bed. He straddles my legs, his hands on my back. He brushes my hair away, then kisses the back of my neck as his hands slip between me and the mattress to cup my breasts as his cock teases my ass.
Slowly—so deliciously slowly, he kisses his way down my spine, then urges me onto my knees. I’m nothing but greed and sensation now, and I cry out in surprised delight when he smacks my ass, not once, but twice. And then, when he slips his hand between my legs and eases his fingers inside me, I close my eyes and arch back, desperate for more, for everything.
“Christ, I need you,” he whispers, then traces his fingertip from my clit all the way to my ass. I bite my lip as he teases me there, then suck in a gasp when he slips his fingertip past the tight muscle as he eases forward to whisper in my ear, “Do you remember what I said.”
I moan, my body firing with need as he reaches over me for the lube we’ve left on the bedside table.
“My fingers in your pussy, my cock in your ass.” The words are raw. Graphic. And a huge fucking turn on.
“Yes,” I say, realizing I’m rocking in anticipation. I want this. There’s nothing I don’t want with Devlin, and tonight, I know we both need it. I need complete surrender. And so does he. He plays with me at first, teasing and touching. His fingers on my clit, his cock hard against my rear. And then, when I’m ready to beg, he thrusts his fingers inside me at the same time that his cock edges inside me, more pressure than pain, but a wonderfully sensual bite all the same.
