by Carol Ross
But now he was rather peeved, for lack of a better term. Had they really flown this distance because she was so infatuated with a new love interest that she couldn’t be bothered to turn on her phone?
Miraculously, Iris seemed to miss his edginess, no doubt due to the greater reveal. Eyes wide, she looked at Hazel and lowered her voice to a whisper. “You have a date? Is that why we haven’t heard from you? Has my perpetually single, relationship-abstaining, list-observing sister finally fallen in love?”
Hearing his fear voiced aloud, Cricket felt himself scowl.
“Hazel,” a man’s voice interrupted, and before she could answer, he joined them. “Sorry, that took a little longer than I thought. Franco is coming home, and I— Oh, sorry...” The guy—the date—looked at him, then Iris and back to Hazel. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re not,” Hazel assured him. “Not at all. I’d like you to meet some people.” Her hand came up to rest briefly on the guy’s shoulder. Jealousy squeezed Cricket’s lungs like a vise. “Kai Montauk, this is my sister Iris Ramsey. And this is Cricket Blackburn. Cricket is a friend from our hometown.”
“Pleasure to meet you both.” Kai shook hands with Iris and then Cricket. “You’re Alaskans, too, huh? Hazel has been regaling me with tales of Alaska, and I gotta say I am ready to relocate.”
Relocate? Cricket felt his entire body tense. How serious were they? It didn’t seem possible that she could even have a boyfriend without him knowing. He considered himself an expert in the subtle art of keeping up with Hazel’s life. The logic being that he couldn’t have her but he could admire her from afar. And occasionally fantasize about a life where they could be together.
It took a monumental degree of effort to compose his face to friendly when it felt as if he’d been punched in the solar plexus.
“Nice to meet you, too,” he managed.
Of course, he knew that Hazel dated. He’d just never seen her in the act of dating before. Not since Derrick, her high school boyfriend. She made it a point never to get serious with anyone.
“You guys are old friends?” her date asked.
“Yes, Hazel and I have known each other forever. She’s like a little sister to me.” That was such a lie. No matter how much he wanted it to be true. His attraction to her was so far from brotherly it wasn’t even funny. But this was suddenly turning a little uncomfortable because how would Iris explain their presence here?
Kai glanced curiously at Hazel. “So, you didn’t mention anyone else was joining us. Is this, like, a surprise visit?” Looking from Cricket to Iris, he added, “What brings you guys to Utah?”
“It’s a bit of a surprise, for sure,” Iris answered with an amused, theatrical flair, her thoughts not quite caught up with Cricket’s yet. “We came here looking for Hazel.”
“Looking for Hazel?” Kai’s concerned gaze darted around the three of them before settling on Hazel. “Why...? Is everything okay?”
Iris, now realizing how her statement could be construed, started to clarify. “Oh, I—”
“Yes, everything is fine,” Hazel said at the same time. “You’re sweet, Kai, to be concerned. It’s just...”
Cricket could see her trying to decide how to explain without providing too much detail. Embarrassing to confess that you’d been out of touch with your family, and as a result, they’d come searching for you. He felt a wave of sympathy because, presumably, their relationship was new, and she should be able to spin this her way. Or not. Bottom line, it wasn’t any of this guy’s business unless she wanted it to be.
That’s what prompted him to announce, “Iris and I decided to surprise her. She doesn’t know this part yet, but I’m here to offer Hazel a job.”
Technically, this wasn’t that far-fetched. Bering had agreed with Tag that hiring her would be a good idea, while Cricket had secretly agreed with Tag that she would never accept. Making the offer was a win-win. Hazel gets out of her current predicament, and he gets to come to her rescue. After all, he’d contributed to creating it, hadn’t he, by traveling all the way here to check on her? Besides, discussing tour options wasn’t that far from a job offer. And that he did want to do.
“You... You’re what?” Hazel asked, clearly shocked.
A nodding Iris remained silent and went with the flow.
“Remember when I said I had something to talk to you about? Well, Bering and I would like to offer you a job.”
“A job? Doing what, specifically?”
Thinking fast, he elaborated, “Designing and organizing our tours. We need help. After the suggestions you gave us, we can’t think of anyone more knowledgeable or capable to get us up to speed. We’re behind the eight ball now and want to hire you for a few weeks. What do you think? You could come home for the holidays and help us out at the same time?”
“Uh...” she drawled.
Cricket could have laughed at her reaction. She wasn’t an easy person to catch off guard. Even more than that, he was happy to have gotten her out of an uncomfortable situation. Never in a million years would he have dreamed that he’d just talked himself into one that was so much worse.
* * *
SPEECHLESS, HAZEL GAPED at Cricket and struggled to absorb what he’d said. It was one thing for Bering to ask her advice. That was flattering, for sure. But it was a whole other level of praise for Bering and Cricket to seek her out like this, offer her a job, pay for her expertise. This kind of compliment from two men she so highly respected was...phenomenal.
Her heart went light. And suddenly she knew. This was it! The solution to the unease that had been gnawing at her. She was homesick and hadn’t even realized it. Hadn’t recognized the affliction because she’d never experienced it before. Not to this degree, anyway.
A big, hefty dose of home was exactly what she needed. She would spend time in Rankins with her family. Play with her nieces and nephews and young cousins. Be with Iris during her pregnancy. Go skiing with Hannah. Ice fishing with Seth. Make candy with her mom! Excitement bubbled inside of her.
Home. For Christmas.
She wasn’t presuming this meant Cricket wanted her home, per se, but the fact that he and Bering were even offering her the position meant he supported the notion. He’d thought this through and was okay with working with her.
Sure, it would only be temporary, but this felt huge. Like maybe spending this time together could be a way for them to move forward, to get past this perpetual uneasiness that plagued them. Certainly, it suggested he was ready to try. And if he was, then she was, too.
That was when something else occurred to her. Maybe this was a way to get over him once and for all. A new future unfurled before her, one where she could come home to Rankins and not worry about how things would be when she saw him. No more wondering and wishing and longing for a romance that would never happen.
“Please say yes,” she heard Iris whisper beside her.
Cricket said, “We understand if you’re too busy. I know you’re usually booked months in advance. You’re probably planning on skiing in the Alps or something for Christmas, and—”
“No!” she interrupted. “I mean, you guys are in luck. I have nothing planned that can’t easily be changed. This fits into my schedule perfectly. So...” Arms up and out, she cried, “I accept!”
Impulsively, she stepped close and hugged him. Okay, too soon for friendly hugs, she realized when she was unable to stop herself from pressing her face to his chest for a sharp inhale of Cricket-scented deliciousness. Hastily, she pulled away.
Gazing into his brilliant green gaze, she said, “Thank you, Cricket. I won’t let you guys down.”
* * *
SEVERAL COURSES INTO the holiday tasting menu and Cricket had yet to taste anything. The current ration before him consisted of a bite of steak, approximately twelve unidentifiable rice-like grains and several multicolored squiggle
s of sauce that seemed to serve no purpose beyond decorating the plate. Literally, he could scoop the entire portion up with a spoon and eat it in one, maybe two, bites. What was the point? Because just when he decided whether he liked it, it was all gone. They should call the ordeal a teasing instead of a tasting because his taste buds felt both harassed and cheated.
But palate confusion was not the problem.
Nope. The problem was sitting beside him and, by all appearances, having the time of her life. What had he done? How did you take back a job offer that you didn’t mean? He was still stunned she’d accepted.
“Oh, wow.” A reverent Kai, head bowed over his plate, loudly interrupted his musing, “This is the petite petite filet mignon. I was so hoping they would serve this. I’m just wondering how they do it.”
“And I can’t help wondering,” Cricket commented dryly, “where they found such a tiny breed of cows.”
Beside him, Iris belted out a laugh. The four of them were seated at one corner of the long bar, Kai and Hazel next to each other, and then Cricket and Iris along the adjacent edge.
“I love how subtle the coriander is,” Kai remarked about the next course, consisting of what appeared to be a single chicken nugget swimming in brown gravy. Politely, he asked, “Are you guys picking up on that at all?”
“I probably would have if I hadn’t accidentally swallowed mine whole,” he murmured.
“Cricket.” Hazel snickered quietly before covering her mouth with a napkin.
“I’m sorry, Cricket?” Kai said, placing a cupped hand to his ear. “I didn’t catch that.”
“He said yes,” Hazel answered for him. “It reminds him of a dish called the hallowed sole. Something he once had at a restaurant in Seattle.”
And this was how he spent two and a half hours of his life he’d never get back—seated between his best friend’s little sisters. On one side, there was Hazel, the woman he coveted and adored but could not have. Talking and laughing and enjoying the company of her date. On his other side, Iris was laughing and smiling and reminding him of everything he had to lose, one of the many relationships he would be risking if he ever acted on his attraction to Hazel.
Making matters worse, Hazel kept glancing his way, smiling, her greenish-brown eyes all glittery and joy-filled. All of this he had to endure while the memory of her hug lingered like warm honey. The softness of her arms holding him, the pressure of her fingers when they’d briefly landed on the back of his neck. The texture and heat of her skin as his hands touched her back. Traces of a coconut-laced tropical breeze when his nose grazed her hair. How she fit against his body... And this daydream, this recollection, these feelings were another part of the bigger problem.
She tossed him another sweet smile, this time holding eye contact as it landed right in the center of his chest. More potent than his fine whiskey, the warmth spread through him, leaving him a little giddy and longing for more. That was when he was struck by the fact that in the process of accidentally hiring her, he’d done this, too. Made her this happy. The sensation was both wonderful and terrifying. Because he could never take this away from her now, which meant he needed to figure out a way to live with what he’d done.
Finally, blessedly, the tasting concluded. Exhaustion settled into him. Stress, a lack of sleep and food, followed by the relief at finding her safe and sound—it was all catching up with him. He needed to sleep. He needed to think. And possibly find a vending machine because he’d let Iris have most of his niblets.
After managing a polite goodbye for Kai and a good-night for Hazel, he escorted an equally exhausted Iris to her room. He tried not to imagine how the happy couple would complete their evening. The effort had his teeth clenching, and he reached up to rub his aching jaw.
A morning workout would be wise, too, he decided. That decision, combined with hunger, prompted him to head back down to the lobby, where he located the fitness center, which he was pleased to discover was well-equipped. The vending machine, however, contained only bottled water, sports drinks and breath mints. He bought a water and headed to his room with hopes of finding a well-stocked minibar. Only a few minutes had passed, so he was surprised when Hazel met up with him outside the elevator.
“Glad I caught you,” she said, stepping inside the car with him. “So, what did you think of your first tasting menu?”
“Oh, um, let’s see...” He pretended to ponder the question before dredging up a wryly delivered, “Delicious, delightful, a veritable amusement park for the senses that took my taste buds on a roller coaster of a ride. Feel free to use that for your article.”
She busted out a laugh. “You are not only incorrigible and cliché, you are also a terrible liar.”
He grimaced. “I know. But I think it’s too late to change.”
“It would be a shame if you did.” Still grinning, she removed a small brown paper sack from her bag and handed it to him. “The gift shop was still open. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy the meal.”
“Was that a meal, though?” he joked even as a rush of tenderness overtook him. Because no matter what was inside, it meant that she’d been thinking about him and not her date. “I have a theory that they’re using leftovers from the restaurant’s dining room that they chop into tiny pieces, cover with sauce and reheat. It’s a brilliant scheme if you think about it...” The teasing came to a screeching halt as he peeked inside the bag. His gaze snapped up to meet hers. “This is my favorite candy bar.”
“Two candy bars, actually.” Her tone was casual, but the gesture meant so much more than that to him.
He always ate at least two candy bars. One wasn’t enough, and if he couldn’t have two, then he wouldn’t eat any at all. The affection coursing through him was almost painful—and precisely what he feared. It was difficult enough to deal with her occasionally or at a distance. How in the world was he supposed to resist when she was up close and personal like this? And for the entire holiday season?
“Thank you,” he said with all the sincerity he felt. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know.”
The elevator doors slid open with an accompanying ding. They both stepped out and began a leisurely stroll down the hallway.
Glancing at him, she said, “Listen, Cricket, I’m also aware that a couple of candy bars aren’t going to repay you for the job offer. But I’d like to talk to you, if you have a few minutes?”
“Sure,” he said, stopping and gesturing at the door to his room. “Do you want to come in?” he asked even as he hoped for a no. Hazel in close quarters would not be wise in his current state of mind.
“Here is fine.” Facing him, she inhaled a breath. “I know you must be tired, and this will only take a sec. I don’t know why you decided to offer me this job, but I hope it means you believe that you and I can...get along.”
“Get along?” he repeated.
“Cricket,” she said, twisting her hands nervously, “I know that you know what I’m talking about. But I’ll say it anyway to avoid any possible chance of miscommunication. There’s been weirdness between us for a lot of years now. And I admit it’s my fault.”
A tightness grabbed hold of his heart. Her fault? How could she possibly believe that? “Hazel—”
Her hand came up to press lightly against his chest. “No, wait, please, let me finish. I’ve had feelings for you for...forever. Or as long as I can remember, anyway. Ten years ago, I ruined everything with that stupid kiss. And I’m so sorry. I was young, and you were...awesome. I adored you, obviously. You were such a good friend to me, and for a while, we were so close. But then I mistook your kindness and attention for more than it was. Like I said, I was young and inexperienced, and now, looking back, I can see how I misread the signs. Again, not your fault.
“Over the years, I’ve made things difficult at times. I know that. It took me forever to get over you, and there were times wh
en I’d be angry and hurt because I thought you were lying to yourself, and to me, about only seeing me as Tag’s little sister. In Florida, I tried to push you to be honest because I felt... I thought the reality was different than it is.”
She paused, her gaze searching his for a few seconds. Nodding, she inhaled a deep breath and then announced, “You were right about my phone—I was avoiding you. I saw that you called. I read your text, and I turned my phone off because I wanted you to know how I felt—all the times I’ve asked you to talk to me and you wouldn’t. But I see everything differently now. Much more clearly. It’s been hard to admit, but by not talking to me—telling me how you felt—you didn’t want to hurt me.”
Her palm was like a hot brand on his chest. But her words were even more painful. It took all his willpower not to sweep her into his arms, confess all and beg her forgiveness. He even shifted toward her but then stopped because what purpose would that serve? Admitting his feelings now would only complicate this situation more. He couldn’t be with her. Not in the way he wanted.
Stepping back, she removed her hand, and he instantly felt the loss. “I hope I’m not reading more into this job thing than I should, but to me, your offer is like saying that you wouldn’t mind being around me again. I don’t know if we can get back what we had all those years ago, but I’d like to try. I want us to be...okay. Friends, even.”
“Friends,” he repeated, because he was still trying to process her speech.
“Yeah, and I want you to know that you don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Worry?”
“Yes. I am over you.” She held up both hands, palms out, making her point. “You don’t have to be concerned that I’ll ask you about your feelings or insist that you talk to me. Or worse, that I’ll try to kiss you.” She forced out a little laugh, one that seemed designed to make light of her embarrassment and write ten years of agony off to a schoolgirl crush. “I get it now. I understand. And I’m done. I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work—the job and us.”
