My thoughts drifted until I fell asleep. Within a few moments, the blackness behind my eyelids was replaced by a very vivid nightmare. I was being screamed at by an unfamiliar man. He kept shouting that I was gonna be sorry. I was shouting back that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Then he violently shook me. “He’s a misfit!” he shouted. “He doesn’t deserve you!”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” I kept yelling. Then another unfamiliar face appeared. This time it was a woman who came up behind the man and touched his shoulder.
“Please, Frank. Stop,” she pleaded, in tears.
He was so irate he shoved her to the floor. I tried to help her, but he stepped in my path. “You are not welcome here as long as you defy me!” He grabbed me and shook me by the shoulders again. “You will not be welcome in this house if you defy me!”
“Fine! I’m leaving!” I shouted. I ran, hysterically, out of the house, got into my car, and sped shakily down the highway. I was crying and between the tears and the rain pounding on my windshield, I could hardly see the road.
The next thing I heard was an overwhelming screeching sound followed by headlights shining brightly in my windshield. I swerved and lost complete control of my car. The car I was driving went right over the cliff, and my heart felt like it exploded. I woke up and screamed.
Chapter 17
THE NURTURER
Arms were unexpectedly wrapped around me as I gasped for air. “Sophie, it’s okay. You were dreaming.” I recognized the voice instantly.
“Wes,” I whispered, still out of breath.
“Yes. I’m here.”
I pressed myself closer to him. He naturally started rubbing my hair to soothe me, and then I remembered his absence. “You’re back.”
“I told you I would be.”
I took a deep breath. “I had an awful dream.”
“About what?”
“It was an accident. Someone was shouting at me.” I paused, trying to remember. “Someone named Frank. He was yelling at me, and he shoved a woman and told me to leave.” Wes immediately tensed up. I recognized the tightening of his muscles.
“And that scared you?” he asked.
“No, but the storm and driving off of the cliff did.”
He sat up instantly. “Sophie, that was not a dream. You were remembering.”
“Remembering what?”
“Your car accident. It was raining that night, and you were coming to see me. Frank was your father.”
I was shocked. So much for the nurturing aspect. “Why would I fight with my father?”
“Because he forbade you to see me. He thought I was no good. I didn’t have a prestigious reputation at the time, and to all accounts, my father was always ‘traveling.’ He didn’t like my lack of parental guidance, and that’s putting it nicely.”
“That doesn’t justify him screaming at me.”
“You’re right, and your mother never forgave him for sending you out in the storm like that. She never forgave me either.”
I kept thinking about how she’d tried to stop him. It made me angry to think about him shoving her. “What happened to Frank?”
“He eventually left your mother penniless and then he remarried. He died a few years ago.”
I was really bitter now. “And what happened to her?”
He paused for a long time.
“Wes, what happened to her?” I repeated.
He looked at me and very hesitantly whispered, “She’s still living.”
I gasped. “Where?”
“Sophie, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“Where, Wes?” I countered.
“She’s at an assisted living facility outside of town.”
I was flabbergasted. That was completely unexpected. “You weren’t going to tell me?”
He leaned closer to my face. “Sophie, this is all new to me. I don’t know what I’m doing. What was I supposed to say?”
He had a point. “I’m sorry. That was rude. This is just too weird.” I rested my head back on his chest as a peace offering, and he resumed softly stroking my hair as I took it all in.
I felt very secure with myself after that night. It was as if I carried the accomplishments of Amelia and Lenny inside me. I felt more confident than ever. The best part about everything was that things had returned to normal between Wes and me. We were back to spending every day together, and although he wasn’t yet willing to sacrifice his clarity, he was very much loving and affectionate. I was as happy as I could’ve been.
I had all the answers I wanted, and the only unknown still hovering in my mind was the fact that Lenny’s mother was still alive. I was very curious to meet her, but I was also hesitant that it would freak her out. She was ninety-one years old, and I didn’t want to send her into shock at the sight of her dead daughter. It was not something I took lightly.
After heavy deliberation, I came to the conclusion that if I was her, I would want to know. So, I made up my mind to go visit her. Wes wanted to come with me, but I insisted on going alone.
One Saturday after work, I drove up to the facility. It was about an hour drive, and it gave me plenty of time to think about what I might say. I eventually concluded that there was no way to rehearse the conversation. Plus, I didn’t know how alert she would be. I was going to play it by ear.
When I arrived at the nursing home, I was amazed. It was a beautiful complex located on a lake. The main building was yellow, with huge white columns, and it looked like a resort. I went into the main entrance and, despite the outside, I was still expecting it to look like a hospital. It had a sanitary feel to it, but it was much homier than I’d expected.
I walked up to the counter and asked the nurse, “Can I see Maria Emerson, please?”
She looked at me, surprised, above her reading glasses. “Who’s visiting?”
“My name is Sophie Slone.”
She looked me over from head to toe. “Ms. Emerson doesn’t usually have visitors.”
I didn’t understand her point. “Why not?”
“She just doesn’t have any family. Unless you’re family.”
I looked around at the reception area. The place was very nice. I couldn’t understand who would be taking care of her. “If she doesn’t have any family, who pays for her to stay here?” I inquired.
She smiled softly. “I wouldn’t be able to provide you with that information.” I took a deep breath. “But since there is no name to provide you with, I guess I won’t be breaking any rules. Her stay is paid for by an anonymous donor.”
“Interesting,” I said, louder than I’d planned. She looked surprised. I refocused. “May I see her please?”
“Sure, you can find her in Suite 2036. Down the hall, up the elevator, and to the left.”
“Thank you.” I followed her instructions until I reached a private suite. I stood at the door in hesitation. All of a sudden, I wished that I had Wes with me, but it was too late. I had to do this alone. I took a deep breath and lightly tapped at her door. After getting no response, I slowly peeked in the doorway.
Ms. Emerson was lying in her bed facing a large open window overlooking the lake. “Ms. Emerson?” I whispered, as I tiptoed across the room. She didn’t respond. I slowly approached her and quietly sat in the chair next to her bed. She was completely still. So still that I searched for breathing movements to make sure she wasn’t dead. Thankfully, she was just sleeping. I studied her for any sort of recollection, and I didn’t notice any physical connections, but I did feel an odd energy flowing between us.
I took the opportunity to examine her bedroom while she was resting.
There were several fresh flower arrangements throughout her room, as well as books, magazines, and notepads. It looked like there were plenty of things to keep her busy, including a piano. Sitting there, I could almost hear the sound of it playing. It made me smile. As I turned my attention back to her, I noticed a little round table and chair. The table held a very
specific item from the past. Sitting on the table was a teacup and saucer that matched the set my mother now had.
A movement on the bed startled me as the woman turned to face me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered, dropping my hair in my face.
“Lenore?” she whispered, in a feeble but hopeful voice.
I kept my head down, unsure as to whether I’d made the right decision in coming. I was frozen.
“Lenore, is that you?”
She held her hand open as an invitation for mine. Her hand was extremely wrinkled, but when I placed my hand in it, I was surprised at the softness of it. I still couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye. I was afraid she would see a difference between me and Lenny, and that would be worse than if I hadn’t come at all.
She squeezed my hand with as much strength as she could, and then whispered, “He was right. He told me you would return. I didn’t believe him.” She struggled to turn her body so she could place her other hand on top of mine. “Lenore, let me see you. I’ve waited forty-five years.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. There was no turning back. I lifted my head in reluctance and moved the hair out of my eyes. I could feel her piercing stare even with my eyes closed. When I built up enough nerve, I slowly opened my eyes to reveal a mirror image of the green in hers. Even I was stunned. She instantly closed her eyes and released a tear.
“Thank you,” she whispered. After repeating it a few times, it became clear she wasn’t thanking me. Her gratitude was beyond anything I could’ve offered her. After a few minutes, I expected her to open her eyes and talk to me, but she just lay there holding onto my hand. She seemed content, and at peace, with just my presence.
After a while, I realized she had fallen back asleep. She was lying there so peacefully, and I noticed her hair had recently been brushed, and her nails were manicured and painted a light pink color. It was obvious to me that she was being well taken care of.
Once I was content with the time I’d spent there, I slowly pulled my hand from hers and gathered my things quietly, so as not to wake her. I didn’t want to leave with her thinking I was a figment of her imagination, so I removed the cross necklace from around my neck and placed it into her hand. I hoped it would be enough to convince her that I’d been there.
I couldn’t say what it felt like being there with her, because I didn’t have anything to which I could compare it. But, I did know I was glad I had come. Whatever sort of comfort I offered her, I’m certain she offered it to me in equal amounts. Seeing her, and her reaction to me, made me realize that my existence was greater than anything I had known before.
I headed back through the lobby with a smile on my face, virtually proud of what I had done. Unexpectedly, a nurse stopped me as I walked by the desk.
“Excuse me, miss.” I turned attentively toward her. “A gentleman was by here looking for you.”
“For me?” I was surprised.
“Yes. He asked if he could see the person you were visiting. Once we told him where you were, he said he had an emergency and left.”
“What was his name?”
“He didn’t say.”
That was strange. “What did he look like?”
“Older gentleman, gray hair.”
That had to be some sort of mistake. I thanked her anyway.
When I got into my Jeep, I had two missed calls. They were both from Wes. I checked the time and realized I had been gone longer than expected. I called him back before I even left the parking lot. The first question I asked him was if he was the one who paid for her stay. As I suspected, he was. I wasn’t surprised in the least.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You don’t need to thank me.” His voice was earnest.
“Yes, I do. She’s being well taken care of, and if it weren’t for you, who knows where she would be.” I thanked him again for loving me in a way I couldn’t begin to comprehend. It made me miss him even more than usual. I couldn’t wait to get home, and I’d only been out of town a few hours.
As I drove, I gave him the recap of my visit, and I also told him about the strange man who had supposedly asked about me. It sent him into worry overdrive. I couldn’t get two words out during his interrogation. I finally cut him off. “Wes, calm down. I don’t know anybody. I’m sure they had the wrong person.” Either way, he insisted upon talking to me until I got home safely. I couldn’t complain. His voice still sent butterflies through my stomach. I could listen to him talk for hours. He probably could’ve read the phone book, and I wouldn’t have complained. Even so, I thought I’d use my time more wisely.
“Tell me something else about us,” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Something else about me—something about my past.”
He paused for a minute. “Well, I could tell you about the time I bailed you out of jail.”
“What? Shut up!”
He laughed. “I’m serious.”
“You are not.”
“Sophie, would I lie to you?”
I could tell he was smiling through the phone. I rolled my eyes, but I knew he wouldn’t lie. “Go ahead. Spill it, what did I do?” I switched hands with the phone and propped my elbow up on my window ledge so I could drive more comfortably. Plus, I wanted to make sure I could listen to this closely. He continued, unusually amused.
“Well, right after I met you in 1963, you invited me to a Free Speech Movement Rally. I hadn’t ever protested before, since I usually tried to lay low, but I wanted to be wherever you were, so I agreed. I picked you up, and you had a bandana tied around your head. It was very cute.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I pictured it. I could only imagine. I was starting to see why reincarnated souls didn’t remember everything. They would be tortured by having to relive the completely embarrassing moments.
“Keep going,” I prodded.
He chuckled softly. “You also had on a tie-dyed T-shirt.”
“Okay, I’ve heard enough.”
He laughed. “I’m just kidding. But you did have on a pink T-shirt that read, ‘Free Speech!’ in big, bold, black letters.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well that’s better, I suppose.”
“Anyway, we went to this rally, and I have to say, you brought out the protester in me. It was no surprise how passionate you were about other people’s rights. Your care for others is infectious. Being there with you made me want to hold up a sign.”
“So, how did I manage to get arrested and you didn’t?”
“Well, we protested for about an hour, and then you had to go to the bathroom. You went and never came back.”
“What, did I fall in?”
“No, Sophie.” He laughed. “But you did get mixed up with a crowd of girls who started throwing tomatoes at police officers. The officers didn’t appreciate it, so they took you in.”
“So, I didn’t even get arrested on my own?”
“Nope.”
I grunted. “So what happened?” I could tell he was grinning.
“Once I heard the commotion, I went over there in time to see you being handcuffed and guided into the back of a paddy wagon. So, I bailed you out. End of story.”
“How embarrassing.”
“It was cute.”
“I bet.”
“It was. Tomatoes in your hair and all.”
“Oh my gosh.”
“What? I like tomatoes,” he said, laughing.
I shifted in my seat. “You’d better be glad I can’t remember you. I bet you had long hair and bell-bottom jeans.”
He was silent for a second.
“Hah! You did!” I said triumphantly.
“No. Not long hair, but maybe the jeans,” he admitted.
I laughed out loud. At least I wasn’t the only victim of the 60s. I smiled until I realized my cheeks were getting achy and even then, I couldn’t stop.
Chapter 18
PAYBACK
About forty-five minutes into my hour-long drive home, I was so wrapped up in my conversation with Wes that I didn’t realize I had been speeding. “Oh no,” I said out loud, as I saw the flashing lights on my tail. I didn’t even know what the speed limit was, but I didn’t feel like I had been going that fast. “Dang it,” I said, disappointed at my lack of awareness.
“What is it?” Wes asked.
“I’m getting pulled over. What do I do?”
He steadied my focus. “Is there a shoulder on the road for you to pull off onto?”
“No. Let me call you back.” Crashing on top of it all was the last thing I needed.
“No,” he interjected. “I’ll wait.”
I was having trouble multitasking with the blue light flashing in my rearview, but I managed to pull over at the next straightaway.
“I pulled over. What now?” I asked.
His voice was experienced and very specific. “You need to get your license out. He’s going to ask you for your car registration and driver’s license.”
“Okay, I think I have those.” I leaned over to open the glove compartment to find the registration and a bunch of papers fell out onto the floor. I could see the shadow approaching with a flashlight, and I couldn’t fumble through my purse, the glove compartment mess, and talk to Wes at the same time.
“Hang on, Wes, I have to set the phone down.” Without waiting for his reply, I set it down on the passenger seat and leaned over to find my registration card. I saw the insurance card still sitting in the glove box. I sat back up, and even though I had been expecting the officer’s arrival, his tap on my window startled me. I jumped and then blinked away the blinding glare of his flashlight. I put my window down, so he could talk to me. He wasted no time scolding me.
“Do you know how fast you were going, miss?”
“Uh, no officer, I don’t. I’m sorry.”
He leaned in, toward my window, and flashed the light closer to my eyes. I squinted until I had to look away. He took a few steps back.
“I’m going to need you to step out of the car.” The voice was deep and authoritative, but his demand was not what I’d expected.
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