by T L Swan
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Gratitude
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Acknowledgements
It takes a team to write a book.
I am one of the lucky ones and my precious team has grown with each one I have written.
Let me start my thank you’s.
Mum, You are the best…….that is all!
Vicki, you have been with me for ten years before I wrote one word. Your friendship and advice on my writing mean more to me than you could ever know. Thank you for every thing that you do for me and please know that you are stuck with me for life……..you can not escape.
Amanda, my loveable sarcastic Dom. I met you through Adore as a reader and never in a million years did I expect for you to become one of my closest friends. Thank you for everything that you do, you are so very appreciated.
Rachel, the funniest and sweetest chick on this earth. You live on the other side of the world from me and yet I feel like I have known you forever. The day your blog asked you to review Adore was a huge blessing in my life. I can never ever repay you and Amanda for all that you do for me. If it wasn’t for you two I probably would have sold one book to date.
Lisa, funny, sweet and totally addicted to Joshua. Your friendship brightens my days, another blogger turned beautiful friend. Thank you for making me laugh, I truly value our friendship.
Anissa, I honestly didn’t know that girls like you existed. You are the sweetest, kindest person I have been lucky enough to meet. It was your blog (The Christian Grey Fan Page) that started me off. I can never thank you enough and its not even about books any more between us, its about friendship.
Linda, you are kicking my ass all the way home and I love you for it. Thank you for all that you do for me.
Victoria, my smart little friend and an awesome author, thank you for all that you do for me.
To my beta team. Tara, Nadia, Charlotte, Anne, Sharon, Renee, Brooke, Tracey, Laura, Donna, Rachel, Nicole, Laura, Kelli, Nikki. Thank you girls, you make me better. I couldn’t do this without you.
To the awesome girls in my street team The Lamborghini Chicks…….oh my god, you blow my mind with your support. Thank you so much for everything that you do.
To the beloved girls in the Swan Squad…….I LOVE YOU…….you make my days brighter, thank you for your friendship and giving me a safe place to hang out. I am forever grateful and sincerely hope that one day we can all meet.
To all the wonderful bloggers in the world, your support has helped me more than you could ever know. Special mention to Three Chicks and Their Books, Christian Grey Fan Page, The Rock stars of Romance, Sassy Savvy and Fabulous, Book Lovers Down Under and Sharing The Book Love
My beautiful husband and my gorgeous kids, you are my everything.
I love you more than life itself.
And YOU. Every single person who has purchased Stanton. I still pinch myself that people actually read my books, let alone enjoy them.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And Last but not least I would like to thank my beautiful Joshua and Natasha. You came to me at a time when I didn’t think this was possible. You did not go away and you never left me……every time I thought I can’t do this, you whispered yes you can, keep going. You got this.
Although it was me who wrote your story, I think it was you who really wrote mine.
I miss you already.
Gratitude
The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Chapter 1
Regrets. For every single minute of every hour that I sat locked in that room, I had a new regret. Regret that I didn’t love him sooner. Regret that I had wasted so much time being insecure and unsure. Regret that I blamed myself so hard for my beloved father’s death. But when it all comes down to it, the only person who feels the pain of my regrets is me. Nobody gives a flying fuck how insecure I am on the inside, so why did I put myself through it for so long?
I’ve been given a second chance at my life.
A do-over.
I’m going to take the bastard by both horns and ride it home hard, without fear, without hesitation and without one more single regret.
Look out world. Here I come!
We arrived in Thailand this afternoon and I am in Kamala surrounded by my loved ones. The sun is setting over the horizon and the staff are lighting the candles that are scattered throughout the garden. Joshua and his family are here along with Adrian, Nicholas and Abbie, and my family. We are sitting around the pool area of the main house after enjoying a beautiful meal, it’s been a big day… a big month, actually. Exhausted doesn’t even come close to how I’m feeling, but the very last thing that I want to do is go to bed. I don’t want to miss one single second with these beautiful people. I’ve missed them all so much and family has never been more important. Didge, Abbie and I are in the pool and we have swum to the other end to talk in private.
On the steps of the pool, in the darkness, we talk quietly. We haven’t had a moment to ourselves since I was found two days ago.
“I’ve missed you two,” I breathe. I can’t believe I’m actually here with them.
Abbie smiles and wraps her arms around Bridge and I as we sit on either side of her.
“Tell me, what exactly have I missed?” I whisper.
“A lot of crying.”
I smile sadly.
“Nothing has happened since you left, Tash. Our whole world stopped.”
My eyes flick to my beautiful man who is sitting opposite Nicholas on a deckchair at the other end of the pool. He is writing in a notepad the requirements for tomorrow’s wedding. Glancing up, he catches me watching him and smiles sexily.
“How was Joshua?”
The girls exchange looks.
“When I was missing and he thought I was dead, how was he?” I ask again.
“He was…” Abbie screws up her face and stops to articulate her wording.
“I can imagine he was a raging lunatic,” I add as my eyes flick back to him.
The girls both exchange looks and shake their head. “No.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“He was different.”
“How so?”
“He withdrew and became a recluse.”
My heart drops and my eyes find him again as I deepen my frown.
“He was too broken to be angry,” Bridget whispers sadly.
“Oh.” I sit and think for a moment. “He wasn’t going berserk like a maniac?” I ask. I don’t believe this – I thought he would have been raging like a bull.
The girls both shake their heads. “No, he would have been easier to handle if he acted how we all thought he was going to.”
“He hardly spoke,” Abbie whispers.
I sigh. My beautiful man has been through so much.
“He just gave up,” Bridget says sadly.
We all sit and look straight ahead, lost in our own thoughts.
“Adrian was probably the strongest.”
“Adrian?” I smirk. This is unexpected.
The girls both smile. “He was awesome. He ran the company and organised the press releases, not to mention how much he was trying to keep everyone calm.”
I smile and our eyes flick to Adrian as he sits with Mum. He is being all animated, telling her a story, and she is laughing out loud.
“Is he back with Nicholas?” I ask.
“No, Nicholas just came to help him.”
My eyes drop to the dark water. God, they have all been through so much. I need to talk to Joshua. “How did Adrian and Cameron find me?” I forgot to ask this question before now.
“It was Adrian. He heard Amelie call you Cinderella.”
My mouth drops open in shock. “You’re kidding?”
Bridget shakes her head. “Nope, she was at the jail visiting Joshua and she said something in the waiting room about Joshua never being suited to Cinderella. Adrian caught on and then they all followed her to the house.”
I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh my God.” I frown, my stupid plan actually worked.
“They staked out her house and she was walking around in the rain with a gun looking for you in the forest.”
My stomach turns at the memory of the heavy rain on the tin roof, that horrific sound will haunt me forever. A vision of her dead body lying in the rain flashes through my mind and a cold shiver runs through me.
“It was like fucking James Bond shit.” Abbie shakes her head in disbelief.
“More like Quentin Tarantino,” I whisper.
Abbie nods. “That, too.”
“How often did Amelie visit Joshua in prison?” I ask. I bet she was trying to slime her way in. How dare she visit him in prison when it was her that put him there?
Abbie shrugs. “I think that was the first time. She didn’t even get to see him because she got a call and ran out, that’s when the boys followed her back to the house where you were being kept.”
I narrow my eyes deep in thought. “So, she got a call and ran out?”
“I think so,” Sighs Bridget.
“It must have been when they realised I had escaped.”
The girls both nod in agreement. “Probably.”
Holy hell, what a fuck up. My mind drifts to Amelie. On one hand, I feel bad for what I have done, and yet I feel a venom in my bloodstream that I have never had before. How could she have done this to Joshua? Her love and my love for him were so different. I gave him away to give him time to pursue her because I thought that’s what would make him really happy, and yet she would rather he be dead than with me.
He could have died. I nearly did die. My eyes drift down to the horrible, thick purple scar on my wrist.
I hate her. I hate every damn thing about that poisonous bitch. My gaze wanders to Joshua again, and when our eyes meet, he seems to read my mind, and frowns in question.
I shake my head softly in a dismissive gesture and smile.
“I’m going to go see my man,” I whisper.
I swim up to his end of the pool along with the girls. I’m looking forward to getting him to myself tonight. Mum and Bridget have been by my side constantly since my release, understandably scared to take their eyes off of me.
“You ready for bed, Presh?” he asks.
I smile. That name will never get old.
“Hey. You two are not supposed to be sleeping together on the night before the wedding,” Bridget announces.
Joshua looks at her deadpan. “Yeah, well, that’s not happening.”
I nod my weary head and swim over to the stairs. Joshua retrieves a towel and wraps me in it protectively as I climb out. I kiss his chest through his t-shirt. It’s so damn good to be home and in his arms.
“Take me to bed, my Lamborghini,” I whisper.
“We’re turning in,” Joshua announces to our families.
“Its only ten.” Cameron frowns as he stands on the pool stairs. We are obviously interrupting his impending swim.
“Yes, so? Go and swim in your pool and get out of mine.” Joshua yawns.
Everyone smiles and stands. “See you tomorrow. Bye.” They all call out as they start to head back to their rooms. The girls are staying in the house next door, the boys in the one after that, and then the bodyguards in the end house. Margaret and Robert are staying in a luxury resort down the hill.
Suddenly alone with my man, I stand with my arms wrapped around him and I look up at his beautiful face.
He smiles and kisses me gently on the lips. “You ready for bed, my bride to be?”
“Mrs. Stanton?” I whisper. Is this real? Are we really getting married tomorrow?
He smiles the sexiest damn smile I have ever seen.
“Sounds old.” I smirk.
“Sounds good,” he whispers. “And old.”
I narrow my eyes. “You are older than me, you do remember that don’t you, Mr. Stanton?”
He kisses me again, and his tongue sweeps gently through my open mouth, making me feel a throb that only he can ever instil.
“I feel ninety,” he whispers.
I giggle. “Well, you best get Cam to write you a script for Viagra, because I am feeling seventeen and dangerous.”
I wake to the bed bouncing, and force myself to pry my heavy eyelids open. Mum, Bridget and Abbie are sitting on the end of the bed with stupid grins on their faces.
“Wake up, sleepy head.” Mum smiles.
I sit up in a rush as I remember what today is. Holy crap. “Where’s Joshua?” I stammer.
Bridget rolls her eyes, adding in a soft shake of her head. “He’s on wedding crack or something.”
I smile broadly. “What’s he doing?”
“He has been ordering everyone around like a lunatic since 6:00 a.m. this morning. He has poor Cameron up a tree stringing fairy lights, Adrian in charge of flowers, and Nicholas making playlists. Ben is in charge of the tables and chairs, and he has Brock in charge of the food.
Abbie rolls her eyes. “And that’s just stupid because we all know that Brock will just eat all of the food.”
I smirk. “Sounds dreadful.”
“It’s good to be a girl today.” Mum smiles
“Where’s Max?”
“He is helping Ben.”
I flop back down onto my pillow. “This is, like, my favourite day ever.” I smile in delight. “What time are we getting married?”
“Five o’clock.”
“On the ledge, right?”
“Yes.”
“What do they want us to do?” I ask.
“Nothing. Just show up, I imagine.” Mum smirks.
I smile broadly before jumping out of bed and running to the bathroom as the girls lay on my bed. This is it! This is the day I have been waiting for forever. I can hardly contain my excitement. That is, until I take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. Holy crap, this just won’t do. I look like death and I’m pasty white. I march back out to the girls and put my hand on my hip in disgust.
“That’s it, we are going to the beach.”
The girls all look at me like I’ve gone completely mad. “You want to go the beach? Today?”
“I look like freaking Casper the Ghost. I need some sun, stat.”
Abbie bites her bottom lip to stifle her smile. “There’s my girl. I’ve missed my drama queen.”
I smile, take out my phone, dial my favourite number – Lambo – and he answers first ring. A rush of excitement runs through me that I can just ring him whenever I want now.
“Good morning, my Presh.”
I smile as an overwhelming feeling of love fills me. “Good morning.”
“Are you ok?” he asks gently.
“Perfect,” I breathe. “Do you want me to do anything?” I ask.
“No. I’ve got it. Spend the day pampering yourself. Get a massage or whatever girls do on their wedding day.”
My heart melts. “You know I love you, right?”
I can hear him smile through the phone. “You better.”
“I want to go to the beach,” I announce.
“What?”
“I want to get some sun.”
He hesitates. “Ah, Presh, I have a lot to do and I don’t want to be worrying about you being safe.”
“Joshua.”
“Yes.” He sighs.
“I’m going to go to the beach with the girls and I will take Max.” My eyes flicker to the girls who are all smirking as they listen.
He hesitates again as he thinks, and I know he wants to stop me, but also doesn’t want to upset me today.
“Tash,” he whispers.
“Joshua, I have been locked in a room for a really long time and I want to feel the sun and salt on my skin on my wedding day. We will only be three hours.”
I hear him inhale deeply in frustration as he thinks for a moment. “Fine.” He sighs. “But you are taking Brock, Max and Peter.”
I smile. That was easier than I thought it would be. “Ok.”
“Three hours.”
“Yes, boss.”
“I mean it, or I’m coming to get you myself.”
“I will meet you on the ledge at five?” I ask hopefully.
I feel him smile again. “Try and stop me.”
Joshua
I hang up the phone and roll my eyes. Fucking hell. The beach! I walk over to the trees that Cameron, Brock and Max are discussing.
“They should go from this one to this one.” Cameron points to a branch. “Not that one to this one.”
Brock shakes his head in disgust as he stands looking up at the trees with both hands on his hips. “You are an idiot. They don’t go that way. When it’s dark, it is supposed to be all over, not in a line. It isn’t a fucking Christmas tree, you know.”
Max rolls his eyes in frustration at Cameron who obviously has no idea what he is talking about.
“I did this for the engagement and I nailed it. I know what I’m doing,” Cameron replies dryly.
I smirk at the shit they are carrying on with. “So, Natasha wants to go to the beach.”
Max’s eyes shoot up to me, and he frowns.
I nod. “I know.”
“Tell her we are too fucking busy to play Gidget for fucks sake!” Cameron snaps in frustration as he begins to pull the lights from the box.
“Brock and Max can you take her?” I reply.
Brock smiles broadly and high-fives Max. “We are so out of here.”
“Thank God,” Max mutters.
Cameron looks at me deadpan. “Oh, great, so I’m doing all this fucking shit on my own now?”
“No, Murph and I are here to help.” I smirk.
“Where is Ben?” Cameron snaps.
“He’s going, too.”
Brock and Max snicker under their breaths.
