by Zoey Ellis
Thea’s dad lowered his eyes, and the sense of horror that had risen in Thea threatened to choke her.
“I happily started drinking,” he said. “Then your mother showed herself to me. She just appeared in her full angel-form standing before me.”
Thea held her breath.
“And she was furious.”
“What?” Thea snorted. “She was mad at you for going through all of that?”
“She said she had helped me get over my issues the first time when I had confided in her and spent all that time with her on our long walks, and she encouraged me to get back on track. She had even made sure I was offered other jobs because my boss was unreliable and didn’t respect my talent, but I didn’t take any of them.” He sighed, smiling at the memory. “I stood up, marveling at her beauty and her wings and how… gorgeous she was. She told me I wasn’t worth her time, and that she couldn’t believe she had spent so much time on me and neglected all her other charges. And now I was trying to kill myself like everything she did hadn’t been worth it, and I was a wimp.
“As she tore me to pieces, I edged closer and closer to her, trying to figure out if she was real, or if I was hallucinating, or even high. Then she started ranting about the client I had been involved with, and I could hardly believe it, but it was clear as day… she was jealous. She wouldn’t let me get a word in, even when I grabbed her hand. But once I realized I could touch her, I kissed her. It was the only way to shut her up anyway.”
Thea smiled, a deep sense of satisfaction building within her. Her parents’ story seemed so… romantic. She suddenly noticed Cam looking at her pointedly and lifting his eyebrows. She frowned at him but he pointed at her and mouthed ‘Like mother, like daughter.’ She stifled a grin.
“We were inseparable after that,” her father continued. “She told me all about the Angel Realm and about demons and the different angels. She helped me set up my own consulting agency and get it off the ground. We were together happily for eight years, but as I got older, she began to worry she couldn’t satisfy me without giving me children. I told her she was enough but she never believed me, not with the amount of emphasis I had placed on it during our initial walks, when I didn’t know she existed. She petitioned the Thrones to mate with me but they refused.”
Thea started in surprise. “Angels can mate with humans?”
Her dad nodded. “It’s uncommon, and it’s only one way, but it can happen.”
Thea frowned. What did he mean by one way? She opened her mouth to ask but Dani shook her head.
“After their refusal she became desperate. Three more years passed and she felt sure she would lose me. So she Fell.” Tears trickled down his cheeks and he closed his eyes at the memory. “I was so mad at her. She had no idea how to navigate the world as a human, and I had to work. I couldn’t be with her all the time. And all those other charges she gave up on needed her, too. She enjoyed helping them, and I knew she would be lost without doing what she was made to do.” He opened his eyes. “Fallen angels can end up going mad. They miss the feel of the Creator and crave that feeling. The absence of it makes them do undesirable things and the pressure of the human world, the horror of all the things that happen here, can be distressing to them. So I was really worried about her. But then you came along. And it all seemed worth it.”
Thea exhaled slowly. Her parents had seemed very much in love, and her mother seemed to have been a decent angel but there were still many things unexplained. Thea leaned forward, almost holding her breath as she asked, “Was she pregnant before she Fell? Or after?”
“Initially I thought it was after,” her dad said. “But it became very clear that she had been pregnant before she Fell.”
Thea nodded, but she was still tense. “How? How did she do that?”
Her dad fidgeted, and his face actually began to redden. He avoided looking her in the eye and mumbled his answer.
“Dad,” Thea said, kneeling on the floor beside him and taking his hand. “Nothing you say will embarrass me. Big girl, right here, remember?”
Her dad exhaled. “Okay, sweetheart.” He gathered his thoughts. “When your mom started to get worried about losing me, we always… um… made love with her in her angel-form.”
Thea nodded, encouraging him on.
“She didn’t go into the Angel Realm for months at a time, but when she did, she would connect to the Stream for hours.”
“Why?”
“She told me she thought that the Stream energy would encourage the growth of the baby if she was already pregnant, instead of preventing it.”
Thea didn’t understand that, but Dani indicated for her to let him move on.
“Then, after years of trying and seeing no results, she decided to Fall. She sent all of her energy into the Stream and woke up in the human world.”
Thea watched him closely. “Is that how to do it? Is that how angels Fall?”
“Yes, that’s how I understood it.” Her father looked utterly miserable and she squeezed his hand. “For a few weeks, we had a hard time adjusting. I was so angry with her, but I couldn’t hold onto it forever. I mean, she Fell to be with me, to give me what I wanted.” He shook his head. “I’ve never known of someone to make that kind of sacrifice.”
Thea’s throat ached as unspent tears built up and she blinked them away. “What happened next?”
“She discovered she was pregnant and that she was already three months along. The pregnancy helped her from falling into the depression that most fallen angels suffer from.” More tears fell. “She was so excited,” he whispered.
Dani was standing right behind him now, her brows furrowed, her hands up hovering around his head as her whole body flickered.
“Then what,” Thea murmured. “Why did she leave?”
“Then…” his face contorted. “Then we moved a few times…” his shook his head and lowered it. “She didn’t like… she wasn’t happy…”
Dani shook her head wildly and Thea squeezed her father’s hands again.
“Don’t worry, Dad,” she said. “That’s enough for today. Thank you for telling me.”
He murmured something she didn’t hear, then pulled her into a hug. “There’s some things I don’t remember, Thea,” he whispered to her. “I don’t know why. There’s big gaps. Especially about times with you and your Mom together, when you were growing up.” He pulled back and looked at her. “Is it because I’m getting old? Is that why I’m in this place?”
Thea couldn’t help but let the tears fall, her heartbreak racking through her chest. “No, Dad. I just wanted to make sure someone kept an eye on you when I went away.”
He seemed comforted by that, but then looked at her closely. “But your mother and I got married, didn’t we? I was a good husband and father, right?”
The memory of his bewildered expression that had been burned into her mind throughout the years swam in her mind. The one she’d seen after every birthday, every missed dinner, every time he couldn’t remember what he had forgotten. “O-of course, Daddy,” Thea said, smiling through her tears as she hugged him again. “The best.”
***
Thea walked back toward the portal, her head crowded with all the information about her family, a jumble of emotions trembling through her. Her mom and dad had been so in love, so clearly perfect for one another. She had sacrificed everything she loved, and everything she was, to be with him and to give him what she thought he needed, and had even gotten pregnant against all odds. And what had it all been for? How could things have gone so terribly wrong? Why would her mom torture him after all she had done for him beforehand?
“Thea.”
She looked up. She had stopped in the middle of the pavement and Cam stood before her.
“Thea.” The concern in his eyes calmed her, somewhat. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head, afraid she would burst into tears if she tried to speak. Her dad had been so clear about so much, and she could just imagine what kind of relat
ionship they may have had if he hadn’t been so damaged. And now, he was lost and confused about his situation. He thought her mom had died, not left. He didn’t know how shit Thea’s childhood had been, or how long she had blamed him for it. She pressed her lips together but the sobs forced their way out.
Cam pulled her to him as she broke, sobbing into his chest as he stroked her hair. “I’m so sorry, Elithea. I’m so sorry.”
She breathed him in, pressing herself to him, sobs racking her body until she calmed.
Pulling away, she wiped her eyes. “At least we know the truth about what I am.”
Cam nodded, his eyes searching her face. “A Nephilim, just like I said.”
She smiled up at him, gladness and admiration spreading in her for his unfailing belief. “Yes, you were right, Cam.”
He gave her a soft snort. “Did you doubt? I’m always right.”
She giggled, and the pressure weighing down on her lightened. She sighed. ”I didn’t understand some of the things he said. I still don’t get how my mom got pregnant.”
Cam sobered. “She was taking energy from the Stream.”
“Taking energy? Is that possible?”
“I’ve only heard about some angels doing it, but yes, it’s possible. Your father said she was using energy from the Stream to make sure her pregnancy remained even though she had entered the Realm, which would have canceled it out. But if she was pregnant while she was taking energy from the Stream, that could also be what has made you so strong.”
Thea nodded. That made sense. “But did she know it would do that?” she wondered out loud. Cam didn’t answer, and when she looked up his eyes were flicking over her head, taking in their surroundings.
She tensed. “What, Cam?”
“You need to get back to the portal.” He sounded serious. “I sent Daniah on to wait for you there. I’ll watch until you’ve gone through.”
“I need to call Amber.”
He glanced at her. “I’m sorry, Thea. It’s not possible now. I’ll try and escort you another time.”
A mild sense of alarm tingled at the fact he was going straight back onto the assignment without giving her chance to speak to him. “When will you be back? I need to talk to—”
“Now, Thea. Quickly.”
She turned and hurried back to the portal, where Dani was waiting, looking more serious than she had ever seen.
“I’m sorry, Thea.” She said, placing a hand on her arm. “I had no idea.”
Thea smiled at her. “Thanks for healing him, Dani, I really appreciate it.” She glanced back and saw Cam watching them. Then she felt it—a tingle of energy coming from beyond Cam. It was harsh, crinkled and rough, nothing like how an angel’s energy felt. Demons. “Cam said we need to go.”
As they stepped through the portal, Thea battled with the feeling of dread as she wondered if Cam would be all right, when she would see him next, and which Cam he would be.
Chapter Eighteen
THEA
Cam didn’t return that night, or the next. It was the first time he had been away for two nights in a row.
Thea lay curled in bed at night thinking about him, wondering if he was okay. Thoughts of her parents rolled through her mind over and over as she marveled at their story and agonized over her dad’s brain damage. Although she was incredibly relieved that she was truly a Nephilim and that her parents had definitely been in love, more questions had risen after speaking to her father. She could no longer hate her mother, not after seeing her through her dad’s eyes. But she still wanted to know what had happened that caused her to leave and inflict such damage on the man she Fell for.
On the third day, the Dominion League summoned her and Zak for their full report. She responded in the most factual way possible choosing to give yes, no, or maybe answers. They hadn’t been honest and upfront with their concerns about what she was, and she could not hide her disgust and annoyance with them. She was not going to be all smiles now she was deemed as ‘safe.’ They questioned her about what her father had said about the Stream. She shrugged and stared back at them, almost rudely. She would not speculate about what might have happened. If Cam wanted to, he could, but she was done with them. She’d rather deal with just Zak from now on and she told them that. However, Asteroth took issue with her.
“I am truly sorry, Thea,” he said, leaning forward on the large desk they all sat around.
She shrugged. “I’m learning not to expect much from angels.”
“You should have expected exactly what we did.”
“Why?” she shot back. “Didn’t you think I had a right to know what I might be?”
“No,” Asteroth replied, simply. “You would have worried for no reason, which is exactly what happened. If we truly thought you were a dark being, you would have been a danger to us. We would have had to detain you and watch you. No one truly thought that. It was just one of the concerns we had about this assignment and certainly not a reason to give you undue stress and worry.”
Thea’s brow lifted. “You had more concerns?”
“Yes,” Asteroth said, evenly. “And before you ask what they were, be sure you want to know.”
Thea took a breath and some of her anger calmed. She definitely didn’t want to know, not right now. “So why are you apologizing?”
“Because I am sorry that you had such a hard time emotionally. You have done much better than most would have in this situation. I think it is a testament of your strength as an angel.”
“A Nephilim,” Thea correct.
Asteroth lifted his shoulders, a glint of mischievousness in his eye. “I don’t really see any real difference in distinction between you and an angel now, Thea. Do you?”
Thea glanced around and none of the angels seemed unhappy with Asteroth’s conclusion. All of them were smiling at her or nodding in approval. Her heart lifted somewhat.
Zak questioned them about the next steps and they explained that Thea’s mother still needed to be found but Thea could choose if she wanted to continue. Thea left the meeting in deep thought. She definitely wanted to find her mother and find out what had happened, and not just for her sake, but for her father’s as well.
***
Cam returned the next night, but Thea was shocked at the state of him.
She jumped out of her doze hearing crashing, splintering and roars coming from the living area. Getting to her feet, she tiptoed to the doorway. Cam was in the social room ripping everything to shreds. She gasped at the sight of him. Blood soaked his shirt and jeans, and a deep gash was carved into his neck. He kicked and punched the couch, ripped the paintings from the walls, smashed the lamps against the wall, almost at the speed of light. When he heard her gasp, he turned toward her and then her worry rose to panic. His eyes were so distorted with darkness that he looked like a different person. He snarled at her, though he didn’t move.
She stepped toward him. He watched her, his face contorted, his body tense. She moved slowly and purposefully, a smile on her face while she battled with her alarm at the state of him. As she approached him, a low growl began in the back of his throat but she continued on, confident he wanted her close.
She placed her palm on his warm cheek. “Hello, my mate,” she whispered to him. “It’s good to see you.”
Immediately, tension left his body. His eyes remained on her, but his expression was vacant. She kept talking to him gently as she undressed him and led him to the bedroom. She treated his wounds and healed him the best she could, but it was clear he had been attacked with demon blades, possibly more than two at a time. Stab wounds covered his arms, legs, and torso. By the time she had seen to them, they had only half-healed, but at least they were no long bleeding. The gash in his neck was the hardest to treat, and it was a few hours before it began to look like anything she did made any difference.
She fed him fruit from the kitchen, brought water to his lips to drink and continue to speak softly, telling him about the last few days and her mee
ting with the Dominion League. His eyes never left her the whole time, though they remained dark. Once he drank enough water and she’d treated as much as she was capable of, she settled next to him continuing to talk until he was asleep.
Thea stayed awake, worry beginning to gnaw at her as she realized even his sleep was disturbed. He twitched and rolled and growled throughout the rest of night, clenching his fists and shifting in and out of his angel-form. Was this how he always was on a assignment? How could this be normal? She had been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he was coming home filled with darkness, but this anger and violence couldn’t be healthy.
As morning approached, she checked his wounds and they were almost gone. She applied more healing energy and some of them closed up while others still remained. By the time she had finished the cuts on his lower legs, he was awake and looking down at her, his eyes almost clear from the darkness. Almost.
She kneeled next to him on the bed. “Did you have a good sleep?”
He didn’t answer but lifted a hand to brush along her thigh, his eyes still on her. Goosebumps rose all over her at his touch, and an erratic tingle swept down her spine. He pulled her into a cuddle, one arm across her back scooping her in, the other pulling her leg over him. His mouth rested on her head and he gave her a tiny kiss. She sighed deeply, and promptly fell asleep.
***
“What the fuck is wrong with him?”
Zak observed her from his chair behind his desk, his expression giving nothing away. “What happened?”
“He came home bloodied, hurt, and angry. He was out of control, Zak. He trashed the place.”
Zak stood up slowly. “Is he okay?”
