When she showed up at the Angel’s Seat before dinner service, I was wiping down the tables in the front of the house, working around the lingering coffee drinkers and listening to “Monster Mash” on the sound system. I felt someone sneak up behind me, covering my eyes with their hands.
“Guess who?”
I knew it was Shelby right away by the sound of her voice, and I dropped my rag and turned around, embracing her. A second later, we were standing away from each other, our eyes adjusting to real life. This was no Skype call.
“Look at you,” Shelby said. “I love your costume.”
“I dug this old thing out of my closet. I nearly forgot it was Halloween.” I glanced down at the pioneer getup I’d put together in home ec class for a junior-year living history museum project. A bonnet hung by its strings down my back, wrestling with my low ponytail. My dress was flower-sprigged, worn over a camisole, knickers, and ankle boots. During the museum, one mouthy kid had asked if I was supposed to be a slave, and an old friend had nearly decked him. Fine times in Aidan Falls.
I thought Shelby might be in costume, too, but I wasn’t sure. She was dressed in a ’60s checkered miniskirt and go-go boots that showed off her endless legs, and her long, light blond hair was held back by a thick headband.
“I was also lazy,” she said, laughing. “But I got dressed up because I’m going with Micah to take his baby cousin trick-or-treating for the first time. I had to come down to see little Henry dressed up like Batman. Isn’t that the cutest?”
“Aw.”
“Exactly. So it was a last-minute decision for me to visit, otherwise I would’ve let you know earlier.”
“That’s okay. It’s just good to see you.”
“Maybe we can hang out tomorrow before your work shift, have a girly drinking Skype session with Evie.”
“I can’t drink before my shift. Your mom would kill me.”
“True . . . unless she killed me first for corrupting you. I’m not actually supposed to be drinking yet, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right?”
We continued to chat as she helped me prep the dining room. She hinted around the subject of my billionaire, but when I shut down that topic, Shelby was wise enough not to prod me. She probably saw that I couldn’t talk about Noah without getting uncomfortable, but for all she knew, I hadn’t seen him since he’d sent me the first round of gifts.
She had no idea.
When Carley showed up early for her shift, looking adorable as a woodland elf with pointy ears, puffed hair traced with glitter, and a sack-like dress with cuffed boots, I got recharged. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, and friends were good for a smarting heart.
But then I realized she was in a bad place, too.
After I introduced her to Shelby, Carley thumped down onto a bench, shoulders slumped.
Shelby sent me a wide-eyed glance, and although I knew she wanted to chat with my newest friend, she made an excuse to go to the back.
A couple of the coffee drinkers had left, and there was only one more in the corner, a tourist who was taking a break from the road. We lowered our voices under “One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater” so as not to bother her.
“I had that talk with Bret today,” Carley said. “He came back from a road trip with the band early this morning, and it seemed like a good time to finally get it done.”
“The talk about pulling back from all his serious let’s-start-the-rest-of-our-lives-right-now ideas?”
“That one.”
I sat next to her. What a friend I was. I’d almost forgotten that I wasn’t the only one with a tenderized heart. The difference between Carley and me was that she didn’t have a non-disclosure agreement.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He was more than bummed out.” She picked at her homemade leather-webbed bracelet. “And we fought. Bad.”
“Oh, no.” I rubbed her back.
“We’ve never fought, Jade. Not like this. It was like I’d betrayed him and he couldn’t understand why I can’t just dive right in the deep end and live off our love.”
Words were out of my mouth before I could check them. “Love might not always be enough.”
She shot a stunned look at me, and I glanced away. Wasn’t it better for us both to know now that there were some things in life that happiness couldn’t shine a light on? Noah had discarded me, and how I’d come to feel about him hadn’t done a bit of good; it hadn’t saved him. You couldn’t jump into something serious with both feet and expect everything to be shiny and perfect.
Carley started to nod as if it’d taken a few seconds for her to come to terms with a truth. “You’re right, totally right, and that’s what I was trying to tell Bret, but the way it came out . . . It sounded better in my head, before I said it. Everything was so harsh. All I was trying to do was be practical, but Bret’s got that attitude like we could survive anything if we were together. And I want to believe him. It’s just that I’m afraid to.”
Afraid. Was that what I’d been when I’d figured out what was really haunting Noah? Should I have stayed and told him that whatever he was going through wouldn’t scare me away?
Did we even know each other well enough for that?
His kisses . . . the way he held me . . . the tenderness in his gaze and in my soul whenever he looked at me . . . Wasn’t that all a start?
But that sounded too simple. Noah hadn’t been permanent for me, anyway, and if I texted him now, baring my inner self to him while he was going through the most important business days of his life, he would only toss that burner phone aside.
Maybe he already had.
Yet Carley’s situation was fixable, and I was damned well not going to let her blow it.
“You love Bret,” I said, “and he loves you. And if he’s serious about making this work, he’ll listen to what you have to say. Maybe he’s bruised up right now from your straight talk, but you’ll have to accept his dreamer side and he’ll have to accept your practical one.” I smiled. “My uncle Joseph used to talk about my great-aunt Vivian and how they came to fall in love. They were like peas and carrots, he said. They were totally different, but, my, did they ever complement each other in the same dish with some butter and seasoning to bring them together. That’s you and Bret—peas and carrots. You’ll just need to work a little to make things taste the best they can.”
I was willing to bet Californians didn’t speak in those terms, because Carley was watching me as if I were a Martian. Or a Texan.
A gradual smile spread over her face, even if it was full of the blues. “I wish love wasn’t work.”
I almost shut my eyes at the impact of her words. Even if you weren’t in love, only intense, deep lust and like, that was work, too. And I’d left all of it behind so easily.
But I needed to think about why Noah appealed to me before I regretted leaving him too much. His money might be a benefit to most, yet all I saw was the trouble it’d brought him. His romantic soul blew me away, yet it came with a dark side. Could anyone ever really explain why it was that some people burrowed down inside of you, finding a home, and some just didn’t?
Still, there was another reason I suspected I’d left him without much of a fuss. I’d spent the recent past taking care of my uncle, putting off my dream of going to a university and getting started on my future, shoving aside much of a social life to see to his comfort. Deep inside, had I been looking for an escape so I wouldn’t have to take care of Noah now?
Being a doctor was one thing—I had control over that—but I had no such thing with Noah. He was the opposite of control for me.
“So what’re you going to do now to get you and Bret on the same page?” I asked. “Or should I say in the same bowl?”
She attempted another smile but failed miserably. “Bret left town again. There’s a gig in Au
stin for Halloween weekend, and he told me to think about what I really want while he’s gone.”
“But you already know.”
Carley nodded, her big brown eyes filled with emotion as she took my hand in hers. “You always know what to do, don’t you?”
Irony alert. “Always.”
Because, really? I didn’t. Yet, for her sake, I pretended like I was wise to how we could get her and Bret back together for good.
Yes, I took care of everyone except, evidently, the person who’d needed me most, and he was back in New York, facing his monsters without me.
When some customers entered, Carley and I had to put off our conversation, and service quickly went into high gear. It was a good night, too, with nice tips and fun people. But my favorite billionaire customer wasn’t around, and that put a damper on the holiday.
I told Carley she could go home before me—what did I have to return to, anyway?—and I helped Jackie and the girls clean up in back. By the time I was done, it was eleven thirty, and I drove to my place, my tires slicing over the wet blacktop. It had started to rain, and the streets were an eerie kind of empty, only a few pumpkins still burning with crooked, toothless smiles under covered porches, most of the jack-o’-lanterns already guttered out. Treat-or-treaters had gone home, the older crowd at their parties.
I’d left my porch light off since there was no one there to give out candy, and after I scuttled to my door with my hand over my head to block the rain, I fumbled with my keys, using the moonlight as my guide, finally getting the right one into the lock.
Pushing open my door, I noticed that a light was on in my family room—and I knew I hadn’t left one on.
When Noah stood from my threadbare sofa, I could’ve hit the roof, but I only gaped instead.
***
A whole century could’ve gone by for all I knew as I stared and stared at him. His hair was tamed, a good sign, and his black sweater and pants were neat. But his arms were curved at his sides, as if he expected that he’d need to raise them to ward off my coming insults.
A fallen angel, I thought again. One with dark, stiff wings, and he was here in my family room. How?
Why?
He gestured toward the sliding back door that led to the patio. “It was raining, so I went around back, thinking it might be unlocked. I hope you don’t mind.”
Mind? I didn’t seem to have a mind right now.
With a shake of his head, he said, “I suppose this is the biggest surprise I’ve pulled yet.”
I nodded.
“Jade, do you want to actually come in so we can talk?”
So he was ready to talk now. I’d told Carley she needed to do that with Bret. But advice is real easy to give out, isn’t it?
In any case, I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. It struck me how funny this was—the modest furnishings that were a far cry from the Versailles décor in The Royal Bellerose’s penthouse. Had I really been there less than a week ago? With Noah?
But he was here, really here.
I sat on the armrest of a smaller sofa away from Noah’s, only now realizing that I was wearing a Halloween costume. I unlaced the bonnet strings from around my neck and tossed the material aside, feeling out of sorts.
“It’s Halloween,” I said out of nowhere. I wasn’t sure how to start.
“I haven’t thought about it.” He sat back down, eyeing me warily. “But I’d venture to say that I’ve been wearing enough disguises lately to make up for the lack of one now.”
Right—the intimidating cowboy getup in New York, the man-at-ease jeans and flannel he’d put on here in Aidan Falls. “Why’re you back, Noah?”
He nodded, as if he’d been expecting me to say that. “The easy explanation is that everything is in limbo with The Reeves Group. My brother Thomas is still courting my uncle Silas into coming around. Thomas feels guilty as hell for what he did to Dad, Mom, and me, and he’s on a path to redemption. But he thought Silas would be more receptive without me hovering, so I left. Simmons is still in the city, too, facilitating things, and he agreed that I needed to trust Thomas. I suppose I was being too forceful in the way I was going about it with my uncle.”
“You?”
He sent me a confused gaze.
“I only say that because I can imagine you being forceful in a boardroom. You were very much the gentleman with me.” Most of the time.
“A gentleman wouldn’t have let you leave like I did.”
I clutched at the rain-damp cotton of my dress, thinking of how it wasn’t chiffon, thinking of how Noah and I weren’t just peas and carrots—we were night and day.
But I had to give him credit. “It cost you a lot of effort to come here and say that to me.”
“You probably want to know why I bothered, so I’ll tell you.”
He . . . would?
“The minute your jet took off, I couldn’t concentrate worth a damn. When you said you felt as if you were on a payroll, you were right in a manner of speaking. I didn’t mean for that to happen, but it occurred to me that this is how I treat people. I have ‘fake relationships,’ as you pointed out. You’ve been the first person to ever tell me that.”
Oh. “Your mom’s not fake. Neither is Simmons.”
“Even Simmons gets the short end of the stick every so often, and I’ve been hard on him these past months.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Let me rephrase that. I’ve been an asshole most days to him. But that’s all going to change.”
He looked at me as if he meant that I’d be the start of that change. But was I assuming more than ever now? And was I about to climb back onto this rollercoaster?
As he stood and lifted his hands palms-up in surrender, I thought, Yes. I’m back on. Back in.
“So do you want me to get you that internship here instead of in New York?” he asked. “I could do that in a heartbeat. I want to make this up to you.”
“I don’t want more things from you, Noah.” Was I nuts for turning down an internship? That wasn’t the point, though. “I want . . .”
I faded, because if I said I wanted him to get real help for himself, I’d probably chase him out of the room.
Obviously, he didn’t expect me to ask for something like that. “You want to know more about me?” he said. “Then here. Let’s start with this.”
He bent to the coffee table and scooped up his fine leather wallet. After opening it, he took out a withered picture, walking over to hand it to me. It showed Nathaniel Reeves, young and tan and smiling in his resort clothes as he faced the camera with Harry Diamont, also young and healthy. But his smile . . . it wasn’t right. Even in this photo it seemed as if he’d been planning to stab his friend in the back.
The past always manifests itself, I thought. The actions of the fathers are put on the sons. We all paid for the past in some way, except, with me, I’d made my own sins that’d dogged me for months, and I’d wished I could right them.
Noah hadn’t done anything to earn this.
His voice was strained. “This picture was taken long ago, and I carry it with me to remind me that people don’t come up with plans overnight. Diamont had it in his eyes back then, and my dad never saw it.”
I gave the picture to him, and Noah stared at it. Then, out of the blue, he ripped it in half.
“Noah!”
“It’s okay.” He held up the section that featured his father and dropped Diamont to the floor.
What did that mean? I must have looked bewildered, because Noah came to me, standing in front of me so that we were knee to knee. I pressed down on my thighs.
He slipped the half picture with his dad into his pocket. “I want my company back in my hands where it belongs, but I’ve been going about matters all wrong. And the way I’ve been doing it has ruined my life, pushing me into places that are full of hatred. You’ve see
n what my hatred has done to me these past few days, and I don’t want that.”
I almost said, It’s not just hatred, Noah. What if you are like your mom and dad? What if you need more help than you think you need?
“I’m going to get control of The Reeves Group,” he said evenly, “but you helped me see that I need to do it in a way that would make my dad proud. He wouldn’t have wanted me to get down in the mud with Diamont. Thomas doesn’t want that, either.”
“So Simmons suggested you come back down here to fish and ride while you wait for Silas to get his head on straight?”
“He already knew I wanted to be here for an entirely different reason.”
The pressure of his knees against mine was searing, working me up inside. How was I supposed to be having a reasonable conversation when my need for him was so damned unreasonable?
Trouble, said my smart side. That’s what you’re gonna get with him.
“What else?” Noah asked, softer this time, his eyes green and beautiful and full of an emotion for me that I still couldn’t believe, even if he’d come down here to share it. “What do you want to know, Jade?”
Now or never. “I read that you were hospitalized. Is that true?”
His smile weighed on him, and I was sorry I had to ask.
“No,” he said. “That was originally from a gossip column, and they retracted the item. But the rumor took on a life of its own. That was a big reason some of the board members had to be persuaded into backing me again.”
“Did Diamont start that rumor?”
“I’ve never been able to prove it, but I have no doubts.”
“No wonder you hated him, on top of everything else.”
“Let’s stop talking about him.” Noah reached out, ran his fingertips over my rain-chilled cheek. “I came here because it feels like home, Jade. You feel so right to me, like a home.”
He left a trail of vibrations wherever he touched—my cheek, my jaw, my chin as he took it between his fingers, tilting up my head. The sound around us seemed to disappear—no more ticking clock on the mantel, no more rain tapping on the windows.
Just us, as if that was how it was always meant to be.
Sugarbaby Page 21
