by Casey Diam
Brandon walked away and heard her door lock click into place. He was foolish for telling her he only wanted her friendship; he needed so much more. But he saw it in her eyes—the disappointment, the finality. He could have fought to make it work, but why do that when in his heart he knew he’d only let her down again? Too bad he’d been a better man ten years ago than he was today. Jordan would have liked that guy. He would have been perfect for her then.
On his drive home, he reflected on that man—the one who’d stood by the hospital bed and kissed Hailey’s hand. Her parents had come and gone, and it had been hours after she’d given birth, so his mother and father, Damian and Andrew were passing around his newborn like a prized possession.
Damian swayed with baby Rosie enfolded in a small, white blanket in his arms. “This just makes it all real.”
With one arm resting on Damian’s shoulder, Andrew stared down at the baby. “Looks like she has his nose and that smug expression down already.”
Brandon laughed. “What smug expression?”
“The one you have on your face right now.” Damian grinned. “Only it looks better on her. We decided I’m the godfather, right?”
Hailey smiled. “Damian, we’ve already been through this. Andrew is the oldest; he gets dibs. The next one will be all yours.”
As Brandon fell asleep with Rose on his chest a few days later, he’d never been more sure about anything in his life. It was as if everything was falling into place. With two weeks off work to help his fiancée with their newborn, he’d begun house hunting, something he planned to surprise Hailey with before the wedding. These two girls he’d been blessed with were his main purpose in life.
He didn’t know why he was thinking of that now. He would never be that guy again, and with the sudden ache in his heart at the memory, he realized he didn’t want to be. The only thing he needed to be was bulletproofed.
Desolation followed him home, and after the week he’d had, he wished he could have someone over, rather than be alone. He also wished it could be Jordan. But it wasn’t a good time for them, so that meant he was single.
He made a call.
Shrugging off his clothes, he lay naked atop the sheets in his guestroom. He never brought women to his own bedroom, ever. That was his private sanctuary. Besides, he always asked his lovers to sleep over, and this way he could slip out and go to his own room. Pillow talk and spooning wasn’t even an option. Just thinking about it made his dick soften.
He eased up on the bed, sipped his scotch, and touched himself, visualizing what it would be like if Jordan was the one touching him instead. His dick throbbed as he continued to massage. Would her touch be gentle? Or would it be just right? Pulling at the tip, he groaned and set the empty tumbler on the nightstand with a bang. Just then, a woman entered the room.
“Tina. I’m about to fall asleep.”
“Chill, babe, I told you I was thirsty.” Tina strode over to the bed with her eyes on his cock. “At least a part of you is excited to see me.”
“I told you I had something for you to drink right here. Please, hurry and drink up,” Brandon instructed, feeling the buzz from the alcohol kick in.
“Yes, please,” Tina said, pulling her blouse over her head. Her shoulder-length, straight, black hair complemented her glimmering cinnamon skin. He’d met Tina a few months ago at a party when he’d needed to replace Kelly. For a time, she’d been one of his three reoccurring companions.
With Jordan still on the edge of his mind, he closed his eyes and bit his lip as Tina’s mouth slid down his shaft. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? Even in his drunken state, it was all too fucked up. Someone else was sucking his cock, for God’s sake. He needed to speed things up, fuck his frustrations away, and hopefully in the process, fuck Jordan out of his mind. Tina loved it when he took control, which was why he’d called her. He just needed to pound into her until he was empty. But as luck would have it, he couldn’t get his release.
Annoyed, he rolled over and threw the sheet over himself as he got her off. “I told you to stop screaming. Someone is going to call the cops one of these days.”
She smiled. “Well, you’re a great fuck, but I promise I’ll try next time.”
There wouldn’t be a next time. This was something he’d done to assuage his frustrations. But since it hadn’t worked, there wasn’t any point in doing it again. He’d have to find an alternative outlet.
“Are you staying?” he asked, closing his eyes as she looked at him.
“Do you want me to go?”
“It’s either you stay or I go; it doesn’t matter.” He opened his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry. I’m tired and need sleep. You know I never push you to leave when you come.”
She yanked her blouse over her head and pulled on her shorts. “I know. But I also don’t want to invade your space. I’ll see you around, Brandon.”
When she was gone, his sleep was endless—must have been his body’s way of catching up for the past few days. When he finally woke up and found the clock on the nightstand, he grimaced. His dad was going to kill him. He should have been at the airport hours ago, sitting in on the Board of Airport Commissioners meeting.
Picking up his phone, he clicked on one of the three missed calls from his dad. Images from last night flashed through his mind. Self-disgust gutted him.
“Dad, I’m on my way. Sorry. I had a little too much to drink last night.”
“Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re okay, I got it covered,” Mr. Kuvat said.
Brandon appreciated his calm. His dad knew what had happened with Damian, though together, they’d decided against telling his mom.
“Okay. I’ll be there in a bit.”
“Do you feel like taking a spin this afternoon?” his father asked. “A new client called a few minutes ago. Tom could do it, but I wanted to ask you first.”
“Where’s the flight going?”
Brandon turned on the shower, then walked across his vast bathroom to his closet in the bedroom. His home was more suited for a large family with its five bedrooms. It was no wonder he got lonely most days.
“Indiana for eight hours. It’s two CEOs needing to go onsite for the day,” his father explained.
“I could definitely do that. I need to clear my head.” Plus, the wait time in Indiana would give him a chance to study, so he threw his textbooks in his overnight bag.
A little while later, as he parked his car at the private airport, thoughts of Jordan made last night even more disturbing. He wasn’t even sure why he did what he did anymore, when he clearly only wanted her. The only thing it proved was how egotistical he’d become.
Good-for-nothing fucking ego.
Loneliness burrowed deep into Jordan as she sat in her office, removing the pins from the sweater dress she’d stitched together earlier. A few days had gone by since the night Brandon had showed up at her door, and every time she remembered what he’d said, her heart ached for him. However, each time she remembered scrolling through his Facebook page, it was a kick in the heart all over again.
This made it so hard to figure out her thoughts and sort through her feelings. Which was stupid. Her own eyes had seen the way he flirted with that waitress in front of her. He might have said he wanted to be in a relationship with her, but his Facebook page clearly hadn’t gotten that memo. Maybe the rest of him really hadn’t either.
That would explain why he’d walked away so easily, without even trying to convince her to give him a second chance.
“My needs are well taken care of,” he’d once assured her.
Such a prick. Yet she still missed that prick—his voice on the other end of the phone line and his witty text messages. He used to communicate with her almost every day, and she longed for that bond again. But if she decided to go the friendship route, how would she ever get past that kiss or her lack of trust in him?
Actually, though, the lack of trust shouldn’t be an issue. Since she wouldn
’t be dating him, she wouldn’t have to fear not being enough for him, or worry about him cheating. He could flirt with whomever, and she’d get the better side of him—the quick-witted male companion she liked to hang out with.
Maybe being friends was the right thing for them. At least that’s what she’d keep telling herself. But no way would she be the first one to contact him after everything.
The next few minutes, her mind tortured her as she brooded about why Brandon had even decided they should stay friends. Was it an easy letdown? Something to say just because? She frowned, wishing she could talk to her friends about it, but she’d already played off her trip to the video awards as “two friends hanging out.”
Anyway, it was better to keep this mess to herself than get Adrianna and Sam involved; she felt stupid enough about it on her own.
“It’s so hard being the bigger person,” she huffed before sending Brandon a text.
Jordan: I hope you’re doing okay.
A few minutes later, her phone rang with an incoming video call from Brandon. Crap. Why does he do that? She grabbed the mirror on her desk and touched up her lipstick before answering. He’s my friend now. What am I doing?
“Hey, you. What’s going on?” Brandon was walking around outside, the wind stormy in the background.
“Nothing much, at work and maybe a little bored,” Jordan said, playing with her necklace.
“Oh, I see. So you called me seeking amusement. I’m flattered.” She could hear his car door cranking open. “I’m heading to a meeting right now, so not much excitement on my side either.”
“Your ego should know I’m not calling you for amusement. You called me. I just wanted to see how you were, so I texted you.”
His lips quirked up, and she rolled her eyes, hating how handsome he was.
“You mean how I am after you called me a fraud and ripped my heart out?” He smirked. “Sorry. Too soon.”
She flinched at his comment and heard the car start. “I don’t know why I bother. You’re an asshole, and I really don’t like you a lot of times, but you already know that.”
“I know, I know.” He pointed to his face. “But do you see these dark circles under my eyes? I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s been killing me wondering if you would ever talk to me again, Jordan. I miss you, and I mean that! I see you judging me with your eyes. And I still need to give you a proper apology, because I suck at any and everything having to do with relationships, and I dragged you into that. Please give me a chance to make things right. When can I see you? What are you doing later?”
“You really think we can go back to being friends?”
“Of course. I’m better as a friend anyway.” The convertible car top lowered behind him. “You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing later?”
“Nothing exciting. Going to a lounge for happy hour with a few friends.”
“Sounds fun, too bad I’ll be studying later or I’d crash—hey, Jordan, I’m getting a call. I need to take this. Be safe later, and don’t go kissing any more assholes.”
She glared at him, ignoring the need in her gut as she remembered their steamy kiss. “It’s still too soon. Besides, I guarantee the next person I kiss won’t be an asshole.”
“Really? Maybe I should show up to intercept.” He laughed when her mouth hung open. “Just joking.”
She groaned in frustration after she hung up. Why did she have to like him?
She walked back out to the sales floor. With Black Friday and Christmas approaching, it was time to start planning for the busiest time of the year. She also had a meeting with a designer this afternoon about bringing a new line into her store. That made her think about selling her own designs. The selection of her own pieces that she’d listed on her website had made more sales than she’d projected, probably due to her fashion show, but opening another Artesian location was the priority. After that she would consider doing more with her own designs.
Right now, she needed more space to make the store more personalized, and with a new location, that could be possible. Her dream was to have a boutique with a lounge in the front where she could serve drinks to clients while they awaited their friends, or a place to hang out and chat before leaving the store—a nice storefront on Rodeo Drive would do.
She shook her head. Now she was definitely dreaming.
The lighting in the restaurant and lounge generated a purple hue, juxtaposing nicely with the white leather lounge chairs in the room. Sam and Adrianna sat opposite Jordan by the huge glass windows overlooking downtown L.A.
She brought the strawberry mojito to her lips, enjoying its refreshing tanginess. “So what have you guys been up to?”
Adrianna set her cocktail on the table. “Really? You’re just going to pretend you didn’t have a fabulous, celebrity-filled weekend with your Casanova? We need details. How was it?”
“It was fun,” Jordan said, forcing a smile. She didn’t want to think about Brandon. It had taken her this long to get out of her hating-men phase, and she was ready to move on. Just with someone who wasn’t Brandon.
“That’s it?” Sam asked. “He didn’t sweep you off your feet and make endless love with you until dawn?”
Jordan blushed. “No. I told you guys, we’re just friends. He has loads of models and famous people on his contact list to sweep off their feet. Trust me, no dirty details here, besides the fact that I’m single and there’s a beautiful man at the bar.”
“Oh, well, excuse me.” Adrianna grinned. “I guess at least he helped you realize you need to date someone, so that’s good.”
“Who says anything about dating?” Jordan said, waggling her eyebrows.
“First of all, what did he do to you?” Adrianna laughed. “Second, I’m going to need his number.”
“Yeah, no way. Anyway,” Jordan stressed, changing the topic. “I accepted the offer from that new designer. Thank you, Sam, for referring her to me. The designs are gorgeous. Now I just need a bigger store. I feel like it used to be a simple store with plenty of space. Now it’s getting overcrowded and cluttered.”
“What are you thinking about? Where would you relocate?” Sam asked.
“I was thinking about opening another location and promoting Charlie to store manager at the current store. But then I don’t know. I have to weigh the pros and cons of relocating versus having two locations. I want a store outside of the mall now that my customer base has grown. I hate the mall. It’s too crowded. There’s always so much going on, and it makes me feel closed in. I need windows and doors connecting to outside, you know?”
“Good for you. Sounds like a great idea. Too bad I have the daycare. I would come work for you,” Adrianna said, pouting. “Those kids drive me crazy, but I love them with all my heart.”
“Perfect. Now when Jordan and I have kids, we know where to take them,” Sam said, looking at her phone. “Oh, I didn’t show you all a picture of the guy I’m dating.” She did a few clicks and swipes on her phone. “This is him.”
Adrianna and Jordan looked at the picture on Sam’s phone of a handsome guy dressed in only sweatpants.
Adrianna cleared her throat. “Sam, that bulge, just saying.”
Jordan burst into laughter with Adrianna as Sam’s face reddened.
Adrianna gasped for air. “Oh my, did Patrick turn you out? Yeah, come to think of it, he was the last guy you were in a serious relationship with. Well, you know what they say . . . once you go black . . .”
Sam blushed. “Of course that’s all you’d see. I hate you guys.”
“I’m sure you do, freak!” Adrianna teased.
“Shut up! That’s the last time I show you guys anything,” Sam said, stuffing her phone into her purse.
Jordan sipped her drink, keeping her mouth shut. The attention was no longer on her.
“Don’t worry, we aren’t judging. Whatever makes you happy, princess.” Adrianna smiled. “Besides, I have a confession. I found someone who . . . gets me, and we sort of ha
ve been hooking up, exclusively. Sorry, Jordan, we kind of decided to keep you and Brandon out of the loop, because, well, we were having too much fun. Anyway, remember Damian, Brandon’s buddy?”
The drink trickled down the wrong part of Jordan’s throat, causing her to cough nonstop. “What? How? When!” she managed before coughing again.
“Jeez, Jo, calm down,” Adrianna said, a crease forming between her brows. “It’s not that surprising, is it? We exchanged numbers at the movie theater. I know I had a date, but Damian and I ran into each other when I had gone to pee, and it was animal instinct. Let me tell you, he’s an animal.”
“When was the last time you talked to him?” Jordan asked, and when she looked at Sam, she realized Sam also knew. “Have you been on Facebook recently, A?”
“What? I deactivated my account not long ago. He was jealous of other guys contacting me, and I was jealous of the girls, so we kind of did it together. And what the hell? Do you have Facebook now? Why are you both looking at me like that? Please don’t tell me he’s engaged or married, or I don’t know—what is it?” Adrianna picked up her phone.
“Adrianna, put the phone down,” Jordan said, her voice firm. “When was the last time you heard from Damian?”
“A few days . . . or shit, it’s been over a week. I’ve been kind of occupied, trying not to seem too anxious. I didn’t want to be the first one to contact him,” she explained. “We decided to take a break from each other the night he left to do some club promotion for a bodybuilding award he won. We’d spent every day with each other since we met, so it was needed. Things were moving way too fast between us. Anyway, what’s with the twenty questions?”
“Adrianna, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to say anything . . . it was Brandon’s business. I didn’t know you two were—I would have told you sooner.” This was the second hardest thing she’d had to say to Adrianna. The first was confiding in her about Todd. “There was a shooting that night at the club. Damian was with his cousin James—”
Adrianna’s eyes widened as she caught on. “Is he okay?”
