“Don’t we all, I guess we spend so much time engaged in conversation with our boys, we forget our age, but I love it and I wouldn’t have it any other way would you?”
“Not a chance, I just hope in the event of them growing older I can adjust my vocabulary to accommodate their ages!” With this they both started giggling. Ella took the liberty of topping their glasses up, the bubbly with it’s unbelievably taste of fruits was delicious unaware it was travelling straight to her head.
“Hey Ell a I have more of this good stuff, wait a minute!” “Wow you sure know how to treat a lady. What’s the celebration, a job promotion?”
“Not quite, but I am still working on old misery Taylor for one, I haven’t given up yet. Besides been with my best friend is a celebration in itself, I just want to say thank you for been there, and we so busy around our jobs and the kids we never get the chance to enjoy a hard earned drink. We should do this more often, give ourselves a little praise once in a while, take some time out for ourselves, or before you know it we will both be in our sixties wondering how life passed us by!”
“Cheers, I’ll drink to that!”
“Let me propose a toast, to the hardest working parents in the whole of Hartsdale.”
“Chin Chin my lovely friend.”
When James returned from his car Ella noticed he was hugging another three bottles and his sad expression disappeared. “Let me just check on the kids, I’ll be right back, get those bottles chilled!” They both passed the evening drinking, talking and entertaining the kids until it got so late, that they could barely keep their eyes open, they set Dylan up in the spare bunker and put him the boy’s room, however it wasn’t until two am until the boys finally got settled. They were both beginning to feel a little exhausted with their working day and the champagne. Ella noticed that James was going to pass out at any given moment, his eyes looked as heavy as hers, and she arranged the sofa, clearing it of all the power ranger paraphernalia, grabbing some fresh sheets from the linen cupboard, staggering back down the stairs with them. She found it hard to concentrate on not falling and wake the whole household up. Once again she noticed James with that far away sad expression on his face, staring down to the floor, this time he was aware she noticed.
“What’s going on James? Please talk to me !”
James took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly.
“I got a letter today from the solicitor off Debbie, my ex wife, she’s filling for custody of Dylan!”
Ella gasped, “What the hell? Why, on what grounds?” Ella could barely believe her ears trying to keep her rage at bay, so James could try and explain. “ Debbie and the gym teacher have just got married and apparently he’s just discovered he can’t have children. Debbie still writes to me you know every month, to see how Dylan is and drops subtle hints about her lavish lifestyle, trying to keep her foot in the door and both our life’s. I think she doesn’t want to burn all her bridges, in the hope it doesn’t work out with Mr Gym and now he can’t give her any children, maybe she’s hoping that we can get back together!”
“This is outrageous, she left you and Dylan without a warning, didn’t say goodbye, left that poor boy motherless and you wifeless!! For god’s sake all this sudden talk of custody just because she had it off with the local Casanova!”
“What did you say Ell a? Did you know about this squalid affair? Did everyone know about it except me? Was I the laughing stock of the entire town?”
“Jesus no, it was a long time before we met, yo u know I would never listen to idle gossip, it was just a stupid rumor going around at the time, I took no notice of until now!”
“A rumor? And I was the laughing stock for her infidelity, without knowing, but the rest of claustrophobia Ville did?” Ella could see this was going nowhere except to the depths of deep self pity with James, he had had too much to drink, her main concern was to calm him down, get him settled and let him sleep on it so he could hopefully get more clarity in the morning with a clearer head. But Ella was so enraged by this woman, how dare she just file for custody, she hadn’t been near the boy for two bloody years, since her seedy exit with Mr Gym.
James started sobbing, head in hands, pausing occasionally to fist himself in both his temples every few seconds. Ella couldn’t bear to watch no longer, James was such a tormented soul and hid it very well until tonight.
Ella wondered how long had all this torment been going on with him? She dreaded to think, how many times he has kept this hidden to himself, without telling a soul. She was beginning to understand that look she saw earlier and she felt utterly chocked by it. She knew needed to act fast, she wasn’t going to let James go down this way, she had seen this before in her mother eyes, the day she got the petition for divorce, one she will never forget, she couldn’t let her be alone, just as she couldn’t let James be alone in his time of need. She took hold of his hands and asked him to follow her; she led him to her bedroom, and whispered gently, “Just for tonight you don’t have to be alone, we can cuddle up and snooze together!”
Ella thought this idea would help take the pain away from James and to her surprise he didn’t put up any resistance. Ella set the alarm for six so the children wouldn’t witness them in the same bed together. They both undressed leaving on only their underwear and climbed into bed embracing each other. Ella remembered the comforting warm feeling she felt, it had been a long time since she had shared a bed with anyone except when the boys had a nightmare, or if they were ill, usually just herself and a good book.
James started to stroke her hair and gently kissed the nape of her neck, it felt hot and warm at first, she unexpectedly got a rush of excitement, he then went on to began to kiss her more urgently, his breathing increasing with every kiss. Ella could feel his hardness gently pressing between her legs; she turned in the heat of the moment to return his kisses with her lips. James slowly mounted her, while taking her bra off and then he started to kiss and lick her delicate nipples, it was a beautiful sensation, she began to stroke his back gradually taking his boxers off and taking his big hard manhood in her hands, gently stroking him, teasing the head of his penis. Their bodies just melted into one another, developing a slow rhythm of movement. Ella was highly aroused and James noticed that her wet panties were evidence of this when he slid them off her; he soon cupped her breasts and started tweaking her nipples which seemed to really turn him on as he rubbed her clitoris. Ella found herself so caught in the moment that she almost exploded as soon as he entered her, it was like a tidal wave of pure pleasure, she wrapped her legs around his lower back and started to thrust into his rhythm, they both had to control, their breathing that was getting heavier and louder, she turned him over onto his back and mounted him with such ferocity, riding his penis faster and faster until she felt the onset of an amazing orgasm, taking it to its peak their body chemistry joined together in a flood of excitement, holding each other tight lips locking they both exploded together.
They both just lied there on their backs saying very little; overwhelmed by the amazing sensation they both felt and fell in to a deep sleep. When the alarm clock started beeping at six they both jumped up realising they were both naked, looking at each other in complete embarrassment. After much deliberation over coffee they both agreed that what happened last night was a one off and that it wasn’t going to spoil their friendship, it was a heat of the moment thing that wouldn’t happen again. Ella felt so relieved, as did James and decided not to mention it furthermore.
Two weeks passed and their night of passion was forgotten as they got so tied up in the daily routines, Ella got extra hours at the boutique and James got masses of overtime at the printers. Ella had put their night of passion down to loneliness, it was quite liberating that they both didn’t want a relationship with each other; their friendship was the most important and the boys. A few more weeks passed and Ella noticed her period hadn’t arrived, first she put it down to stress, and her hours at the boutique had increased, back to juggling everythi
ng around, she found little or no time for relaxation. She convinced herself she was just a little late, another two weeks passed in a daze and it still hadn’t arrived, she began to panic, after dropping the boys off at school in the spur of the moment she bought a pregnancy test from the local pharmacy, planning to do the test on her lunch break. She had convinced herself she had to take responsibility for her night of passion with James in which they were both careless, using the old fashioned form of
contraception, the good old withdrawal method! God if she was pregnant what on earth was she going to do? The harder she tried telling herself that she wasn’t, the easier it became to ignore it until now, burying her head in the sand wasn’t going to give her the answers she needed. With much dreaded anticipation she began clock watching, she had two fittings this morning and provided no one else came in before twelve she could take an early lunch as soon as the fittings were over. As soon as Elisabeth her boss approached to cover her on her lunch break. Ella quickly proceeded to the toilets, followed the instructions on the box, one line was negative, two lines meant positive, it took as little as five minutes, when the first line became visible, her heart began to race willing the dam stick to not reveal a second line bargaining all kinds of sacrifices she would make to God if she wasn’t, after the second or third minute another line started to appear, her heart began to sink into the depths of her stomach, she stared on in disbelief as the second line was so faint, she could just make it out, after another minute or so it was as dark as the first line. She began to sob uncontrollably, this just can’t be happening to her not now, not ever again, how could she bring another child into this world? She was struggling enough with the boys juggling day to day life was hard enough. She must of sat on that toilet all her lunch break in the mists of despair until her boss Elisabeth knocked on the door and asked if she was ok, breaking her out of the depths of self pity, she suddenly regained some clarity on what she needed to do, she pulled herself together and continued her shift.
James house was at the end of a small cul de sac; his black golf polo was parked in the driveway, knowing she´d be able to catch James alone as Dylan was sleeping over at his grandmas tonight. She couldn’t put the news off any longer she needed to inform James of her news, to share this dilemma and discuss the options and hopefully reach some kind of solution. She noticed none of the lights were on in the house, maybe he was out for the evening, but why wasn’t he picking up his mobile or house phone? Was he avoiding her? He had become a little distant lately, but she put it down to his extra shifts. Ella also noticed that James was looking more and more tired each time she saw him, his weight was dropping and his appearance was changing, his bright eyes were getting dull and lifeless. She expressed a number of concerns to him about this but he just shrugged it off and blamed it on work and his lack of sleep as Dylan began to wet the bed and started suffering with night tremors.
Something didn’t seem right as she approached the front door, she could hear Charlie barking jumping up behind the front door, she knocked again and began talking to Charlie to try and calm him down, his barks becoming whimpers and cries. She tried the door handle but it was locked, dialing his mobile again praying he would pickup this time, c´mon James please pick up! But he didn’t. She began looking at the windows, hoping one of them was left open but they were all closed. Checking the back the back door, climbing over the locked gate in a panic she got her trouser leg caught in the wood splinters and tore it away leaving a large piece of black fabric behind her. Was she over reacting? When she approached the back door it was in complete darkness.
Charlie was clawing the back door barking again, she tried the handle expecting it to be locked and to her surprise it wasn’t. Charlie greeted her by nearly knocking her off her feet and then ran through the kitchen quickly all the way up the stairs barking and running all the way back down the stairs to the kitchen. She found herself fumbling around for a light switch, as soon as she found the switch and darkness became light she stood looking at the kitchen it its complete disarray, another thing James had neglected, it was a complete mess, a bottle of Jack Daniels lay on its side, the whisky dripping from the counter onto the floor. Charlie was insistent that she follow him, his barking and running up and downstairs all the time to get her attention, she followed turning the light switches on. When they both reached James bedroom door it was closed and Charlie was jumping up at it trying to claw his way in, she shuddered in anticipation, the palm of her hands had become sweaty and her heart began to race, Charlie looked up at her with those big sad brown eyes waiting for her to open the door, she approached the door with caution while gently turning the door handle and slowly pushing the door open! Great, another bloody room with no light. Stroking the wall with her other hand she found the switch and Charlie pushed through the small gap barking and yelping as she turned the light switch on she gradually opened the door to allow herself in and screamed in horror at James hanging from the ceiling in mid air with a rope around his neck, his face and body lifeless, she ran towards him shaking him for signs of life, checking his wrist for a pulse, he was so cold, hoping there was still life left in him, there was no response, she felt helpless and it suddenly began to dawn on her she was too late, he was dead. She sat staring at him for some time just sobbing inconsolably, what had been so bad that he had to commit suicide, end his life in this horrific way, then she noticed a needle on the floor, some foil and a dirty tea spoon, what the hell was he doing with this, had he been injecting heroin? She looked around his room for other signs and there it was a letter from his ex wife, it was three pages long, as she sat and read the letter she could hardly believe she was threatening to take Dylan away from him permanently, she had already applied for full custody of Dylan on the grounds of James been a registered heroin addict who couldn’t be trusted to look after their son and so on, the court case was due to start early next week. She then noticed the official court papers which confirmed what his ex wife was threatening, it all started becoming clearer. Ella had to call for an ambulance and wait for them to arrive, she could barely watch them carry his body away it was heartbreaking knowing she would never see her best friend alive again. She then placed another call to James mum. Several days passed since James killed himself, she broke the news to the boys; they were devastated and asked if they would ever get to see Dylan again? Ella didn’t have the answer to this question. The day of James funeral was approaching and she was anxious about seeing his ex wife and Dylan, she wasn’t sure how to approach them, she loathed the woman for what she did to Dylan and more so to James, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to contain her hatred. She called Destiny and asked if she could attend the funeral with her, confessing her and James night of passion, her pregnancy in which was nicely hidden, the lead up to James’s suicide and the moment in which she found him.
“Jesus Christ Ella, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, are you gonna be okay?” “I don’t know I’m not doing so well so far, I can’t eat, sleep or get James suicide out of my head, his sudden departure has left me feeling empty and hollow!”
“I am not surprised, I have some leave due at work, I could come over for a few weeks; help out a bit if you like?” “If you wouldn’t mind sis, I am not even sure if I can carry on in this world anymore, the only thing keeps me going is the boys, I have never felt so low in all my life!”
“You’re a survivor sis and I know you’ll get through this, you just need a little help on the way. I’ll be over in the next hour, can I get you anything?”
“Yeah, anything that eliminates pain!” Ella put the receiver down and stared into space, searching for some clarity and found none, she knew the signs of depression as she had suffered with it before and she knew she was battling with it now, she couldn’t see the light at the end of this tunnel, and in fact she couldn’t even image the tunnel ever ending. She had lost the one person in her life who she always thought would be there into the realms of old age, sharing a good old laugh,
a joke with, watching their kids grow into adults and sharing fond memories of their childhoods, adolescence and so on. What hurt the most was that James wouldn’t be around to share and enjoy all this, he was an exceptional dad to Dylan, no one could take this away from him, not his bitch of an ex wife, he may have had his problems with heroin in which he hid very well, but never once did he put Dylan in jeopardy. It turned out that James only dabbled occasionally, at weekends or when he knew Dylan was in the care of his grandmother, as a teenager he became hooked on it for a few years, sought help and went onto a methadone program through the help of his doctor and family. Then he met Debbie his ex wife and kicked the habit for good until recently, little did he know the bitch would use this against him in years to come and that is what drove him to the edge, his inability to imagine a life without Dylan was unbearable and he knew Debbie would fight this out until she got what she wanted, after all she and Mr Gym had plenty of money to hire the best solicitors, James had very little money and knew it was a fight he could lose. She still couldn’t imagine what was going through James mind, the pain, the anguish, the fear of losing his little boy, she just wish he could of confided a little more in her, she would of supported and fought all the way with him, if only he could of shared all this with her, maybe she could of prevented his death, his horrible suicide, such a final solution to a temporary problem.
Ella remembered Destiny moving in with her and the boys, if she hadn’t come to her aid she wasn’t sure what would have happened to her and the boys, or how she would have got through the pregnancy and birth of her beautiful daughter Anna.
♣ Here she was presently sat with the very handsome Frank, having all the money she ever dreamed of, contemplating on whether or not she should ask him on a date, but with her past history she decided better of it. Something was telling her to throw caution to the wind. Maybe it was too soon after James suicide, it was one year next week and it seemed like two weeks ago. A sudden onset of guilt hit her, what if she had inherited all this money back then? Would it of prevented James from taking his life? She wondered why things happen in life that nobody could prevent. And why was timing so lousy? Dylan may have still had his father around. How she missed James, she must contact his mum and ask how Dylan is; hopefully he would be able to come over for a visit in the new house.
Addicted To Greed Page 13
