Another shock I am afraid my dear, I am not Bonnies father, I had a paternity test, the same I had with Benjamin when he was born and it turns out Felicity was having an affair with a very important politician, in whom she is blackmailing for money. She is not the woman she appeared to be, I made the mistake of falling for her well practiced charms a long time ago, I couldn’t resist been in a foreign country alone, away from my beloved family, it was never my intention to cheat on your mother, it was merely an act of lunacy, given the chance I would never repeat. The stupid night of passion with this woman led to black mail, she threatened to tell your mother and little did I know she had set up an undercover photographer who produced glossaries to compliment her threats, I was devastated and knew I had acted like a love struck teenager, the shame I felt for you, Destiny, Chase, and your mother was overwhelming, there was no way I would let this get out and destroy and hurt my family in whom meant the world to me. I was however given an ultimatum by Felicity, that if I divorced your mother and married her, the photographs would never go into publication, in the event I didn’t they would be sent to a contact of hers in the Daily mail and put on the front pages of every English newspaper in England. There was no way I could risk this, your wonderful devoted mother, you young innocent children getting to know of my indiscretions, that I was very ashamed of, no way I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I served your mother with divorce papers and well I don’t have to tell you the rest as you all suffered as a result of this, in which I have never been able to forgive myself. I missed the best years of all your lives in which I deeply regret and I know there is nothing I can do to reverse this and this is my saddest last thought while I lay here tonight thinking of you all. I have also enclosed a journal of your birth and your younger years, alongside a diary of my own, I hope you get the chance to read it. I could say so much more to you Ella, I was always very proud of your choices I was just too stubborn to admit it, as I just wanted the best for you as any father would. I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes in life and remember me as a father that will always love you and look upon you from time to time.
Please before you give your brother and sister their envelopes, think about what I have told you and proceed with caution if you feel that’s the right thing to do, or tell them the truth it is your decision and I will always respect that.
I wish you all the best in life and I really hope you enjoy the money you more than deserve it, my dear. I hope you can find in your heart the compassion for your new brother and embrace him the way I embraced you all when you entered this world, he is a very special boy in whom I would wish the three of you get to know, trust me he is worth every minute of it, his address details are in his journal, I am sure he would like you to visit.
All my love
Daddy x Ella had to reread the letter several times, each time it reduced her to tears, why after all this time the truth finally of what happened came out in the form of a letter! She knew what she had to do and it was going to be very difficult.
She joined Destiny downstairs grabbing the nearest bottle of wine and swigged it back; she needed all the Dutch courage in the world right now.
“Slow down girl, there’s plenty more of that; let me get you a glass at least.”
“Oh, don’t bother, what’s the point it all goes down the same way right?” Destiny was shocked by her sister’s antics; she left the rice simmering and sat opposite her sister wondering what the hell had gotten in to her.
“Ella, what’s up? What’s with all the drinking out of the bottle?” Ella couldn’t find the words to speak and sat there staring into space, clutching the letter from her father. Destiny refilled her own glass with a fresh bottle from the fridge, returning to her seat opposite Ella, curious to know what had happen to change her sisters mood.
“Is it the boys? Are they playing up again? Do you want me to go upstairs and have a word?”
Ella shook her head from side to side signalling a no answer. Destiny noticed the pieces of paper in her hand and asked, “What is it Ella, your beginning to worry me now?” Ella broke her silence and whispered, “This letters from daddy, I can’t quite get my head around it, here see it for yourself!” Ella studied Destiny whilst she read the letter, she took hold of her hand trembling hand and placed it close to her chest, in shock and disbelief.
Destiny did as she had done a few moments earlier and re-read the letter trying to let the news sink in, until the tears prevented her from reading it anymore.
Ella opened her arms and Destiny fell in to them sobbing, they both consoled one another for what seemed like an eternity, until Brody came down and started to complain about the smell of burning.
“Mum are we supposed to be eating this tonight, it stinks?” “Oh Bro ody sweetheart, it’s my fault, your mum and me got chatting as we do and I completely forgot about it, how about we order dominos, my treat?”
“Yeah that would be cool, can I have an extra large Texas barbecue chicken, with chicken wings and French fries, can Timothy have, hang on let me go upstairs and ask him.”
“Tell you what sweetheart, make a list, ask your brother to write down what he´d like and bring it back downstairs and I´ll order it straight away, how’s that for a deal?”
“You’re the best Aunt Destiny; just give me a few minutes.” “Thanks Destiny, I’ll be right back, I can hear Anna crying, she must be hungry.”
They continued to drink into the early hours, talking how they’d get in touch with the hospital to arrange a visit, they read every little detail in Benjamin’s journal, it felt like they were already getting to know him. Daddy had also put pictures to accompany his birth, up until his current age; he was just so adorably so cute. They couldn’t wait to finally meet him.
Destiny called Chase to ask him to come over in the morning informing him that daddy had left them all their own separate journals of their births, however she didn’t mention Benjamin, but she mentioned that they had a little surprise waiting for him upon his arrival.
Chase agreed excitedly, he couldn’t wait to see Ella’s new house and the boys as it would be the last day as he needed to get back to his job in and fiancé in Hong Kong within the week.
When Ella’s head finally hit the pillows, she automatically felt dizzy from all the wine, she lay reflecting for a while on her father’s letter, she couldn’t help but think that Felicity was one evil bitch, she never imagined her to be so vindictive, turning her back on her own disabled son, never bothering with him.
Before she knew it morning was upon her and she heard Destiny getting the boys up for school, she wiped her eyes and realised she was in her new home, she couldn’t help but smile, a few moments later the realisation of what they discovered yesterday came flooding back to her, for those few moments been in between two worlds, she enjoyed, no stress, no worries, just peace with herself. Why couldn’t life be as simple as that?
Destiny knocked at the door “Wakey wakey sleepy head rise and shine, fresh coffee on the go!”
“Where’s Anna?” “Having her breakfast in her high chair, hurry she’s talking all kinds of babble but I am sure one of her words she said was mama.”
Ella grabbed her dressing gown and looked out of the window at the beautiful sky line forming just above the lakes, she had to nip herself, no longer the grey drab views of Pens borough industrial wastage, god she had come a long way, in a short period of time. Life was beginning to change for the better and she was sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone destroy it!
“Good morning sweet cheeks and what is that you’re having for your breakfast?” Placing a soft kiss on each side of Anna’s cheeks, she couldn’t resist stroking her soft curly blonde locks and thinking she would be the apple of her daddy’s eye if he was here to see you now. Anna was growing and developing her strong personality, she had the boys wrapped round her finger, and they couldn’t resist her playfulness.
“Hey Ella, Chase will be here in ten minutes, I
am really excited, can’t wait to tell him about Benjamin, but I am a little scared of his reaction, if its anything like ours, maybe I should of gone and got some more wine.”
“I think we should let him read the letter first, before we say anything, let him find out the way we did, don’t you think?” “Yeah definitely, I called Pinderfields Hospital, where Benjamin is and they said we can visit anytime after one o clock after he’s had his lunch either today or tomorrow!”
“That’s brilliant; did you ask if the three of us are able to visit at the same time?” “Ella, it came as a shock but they seem to know all about us, can you believe that? Apparently Benjamin has a photograph on his bed side cabinet of Chase, me, and you. Apparently daddy told him all about us and told him one day he would get to meet his new brother and two sisters.”
“Jesus, I can’t believe it, so he already knows about us?” “Ye ah he does, but with his condition he forgets, so we have to be prepared for all eventualities. I did a little research on the internet last night on Down syndrome, I have printed this off for us all to read, so we all have a better insight before we visit, I think it’s important we’re all aware of our brothers condition.”
“Daddy must have known we would visit him otherwise he would have never of told Benjamin about us would he now? I just need to get my head round this, there seems to be so many questions but not enough answers, I just wish daddy was here to explain don’t you?”
“I do, but I have also been giving it a lot of thought, maybe, just maybe we hold some of those answers, in fact this could all be about us finding the answers for ourselves.”
“Destiny, you’re talking in riddles and not making much sense to me, I don’t know if it’s because the caffeine isn’t in my system yet, or all this news of a new brother is just a dream, believe it not I think I am still in the stages of shock!”
“Wake up big sis; you are supposed to know what to do in most situations, isn’t that why daddy told you first, so it would ease the blow when you had to tell me and Chase?”
“Yeah , and usually I do, but you’ve gotta admit this isn’t a situation you often come across is it? And no, I don’t agree with daddy for his decision to inform me first, just because I am the bloody eldest, I think we all have the right to know despite our ages, after all we are all grown up, are we not?”
Before they could get into a debate or argument the door bell rang and Destiny rushed off to answer it. Ella found herself in a situation where she had little or no control and felt they were all venturing into something completely alien to them. How they all took for granted their lives, their healths, their very existence, never having to live with a disability. She picked up the print out on Down syndrome and tried to absorb some information on Benjamin’s condition, she read as far as people who suffer with Down syndrome inherit an extra copy of one chromosome, people with the syndrome have three copies of chromosome twenty one rather than the usual two. She placed the paper on to the table as Chase entered.
“And how’s my lovely big sis in her big mansion?”
“Oh Chase, it’s so good to see you, I’m great thanks, how’s you?” “Never better, now are you gonna give me a grand tour around? I noticed there’s a tennis court, do you have a football pitch as well?
“No, not yet, but who knows maybe sometime in the near future.” Ella managed to show Chase around halfheartedly. Chase pointed out the new and old parts of the house, she found it hard to concentrate and he soon picked up on this.
“What’s the matter Ella, you seem distracted?” “I am not really in the mood for giving you the grand tour to be honest, me and Destiny discovered something we need to talk to you about, but I am still in shock by it myself, I need for you to read something first if you don’t mind?”
“Sounds serious, have you discovered the truth about what happens when we die?”
“I wish but not quite, please let’s go down to the kitchen; I need to show you something.” Ella passed Chase the handwritten letter from daddy. “What’s this? Ain’t this daddy’s handwriting?”
Ella and Destiny both nodded.
Chase took a seat next to them on the giant table and took a pair of reading glasses out of his shirt.
“It appears to be addressed to you Ella, you sure you want me to read this?”
Once again Ella nodded unable to find her words.
Ella and Destiny sat patiently, while Chase began to read it, they were so nervous, unable to predict how he would react. Ella couldn’t meet her brother’s eyes in fear that he too would cry at the shocking revelations. Destiny, held tightly on to her hand, she could feel Ella shake but couldn’t find the strength to console her. It felt like an eternity waiting for Chase to finish reading, when he finally did, Ella found the courage to look into his eyes; they were full of water, tears gently running down his sad little face.
Destiny immediately embraced him into her arms sobbing with him. Ella, couldn’t bear this any longer she joined them both and they all cried together in shock, disbelief, and sorrow as they finally had some answers from their father abandoning them after all these long hard years.
Ella passed Chase his envelope explaining it was also from daddy, Chase couldn’t bring himself to open it just yet; both Ella and Destiny fully understood and didn’t push it any further.
They all sat in complete silence for a while reflecting on the contents of the letter, Chase, eventually broke the silence. “Jesus , if I had of known all of this, I’d have never avoided him like I did. Why did we get to know all this when it’s too late to repair our relationship, I´d have forgiven him in time, but now I’ll never get that chance, it makes me so sad, I still can’t believe he’s gone you know, it’s all so horribly shocking and final?”
Chase stared out of the window as if looking for some clarity; he was still in the early stages of grief, trying to cope with it in his own way by avoiding it.
“It’s weird not to have him here anymore, I wished I hadn’t fallen out with him, I´d do anything to turn back the hands of time and say sorry, look at where all my stupid stubbornness has got me? I guess I just took it for granted that he would always be around and there’d be time in the future to make up. Last thing I expected was for him to die and it would be too late to put things back right, I’ve gotta live with this for the rest of my life, I suppose if there’s one thing I have learnt from all this life its just too short to argue, fuss, and fight as the finality of death puts a lot of things into perspective!”
“You’re right, I couldn’t agree more, but we all do it, it’s part of being a human being, but it’s not your fault that you never got the chance to make up, you were not to know he was gonna die, we all weren’t, it’s not anybody’s fault, you both need to remember that. I really miss him too but I’ll never understand why he couldn’t have told us about his illness, I guess he had he reasons, I just wished I knew what they were because I still struggling to get my head round it.”
They spent the next several hours beating themselves up about their regrets, tears, frustrations, and sadness as the sudden hole of daddy’s death was just too much to bear. The only thing they all seemed to agree on was it was a good idea to visit Benjamin.
Chapter 14 Ella, Destiny, and Chase arrived at Pinderfields around one o clock, they were all nervous and excited. A short stubby nurse, who had a high pitched voice, greeted them all friendly.
“Hello you must be the Pearson’s, we’ve been expecting you, if you wouldn’t mind, singing in on our visiting register. Dr Roth will be with you shortly, he will talk and explain to you a little about your brother’s syndrome and accompany you on your visit, he’s looking forward to meeting you all.”
Once they all signed in and went to sit in the waiting area, anxious to meet their new brother.
Chase finally broke the tense silence. “I feel really stupid, I don’t know anything about Down syndrome, except it makes you look a little different, I remember seeing some disabled kids on a bus on the way to
school and all my mates took the piss out of them and started to mimic them, throwing their empty coke cans at the bus, I think I must of thrown something to, just to be part of the crowd, I feel really terrible now how mean we all were.”
“You were just a kid and you know sometimes kids we do horrible things, don’t worry about it, I am sure you wouldn’t behave in that way now.”
“Of course not but isn’t it nasty how we discriminate when
you’re young if something, or somebody is in any way different to what we perceive as normal?” Before Ella could answer a tall slim elder man came along and introduced himself as Dr Roth, he politely led them to his private office two floors above. On their way up they noticed a number of children in classrooms, they appeared to be learning. Dr Roth noticed they were all interested in what the children in the different rooms were doing.
“Here at Pinderfields we teach children the same as if in main stream school, depending on their varying ages, we have some children from being babies and we have our own nursery on the ground floor, we pride ourselves on education here as we feel it very important to equip all our young people with the knowledge and skills they will need in the outside world when they finally leave us.”
Ella couldn’t help her curiosity, she had so many questions, she just didn’t know where to start, they all did but held it back in order to listen and learn about Benjamin syndrome.
Dr Roth’s first question to them was if they knew anything about Down syndrome?
They all answered very little, but they all expressed a keen willingness to learn. “Let me start by explaining what Down syndrome is, and the different types. Let me start with the basics, Down Syndrome is a genetic condition also known as trisomy where a person inherits an extra copy of one chromosome. People with the syndrome have three copies of chromosome twenty one rather than the usual two, this additional genetic material changes the finely tuned balance of the body and results in characteristic physical and intellectual features. It’s not yet known why this abnormality occurs, it does however affect one in one thousand babies born in the UK. It is however the most common inherited cause of learning difficulties. Before I carry on do you have any questions?”
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