Toots, Sophie, and Mavis followed close behind.
“This is the worst plan B I’ve ever heard of,” Sophie whispered. “If we get caught, that means we’re no better than common thieves. I can’t believe I’m actually a part of this.”
“Be quiet, or we will get caught. I brought ten thousand dollars in cash. It’s right here.” Toots patted the fanny pack strapped around her waist like armor. “Mavis, you said this was three times what your cost would be if you were to purchase the amount of material you need, right?”
Softly, Mavis said, “Yes, and I promise to pay you back.”
Toots waved her hand in the air. “Forget it. Look.” She pointed to Ida across the street. She was leaning against the fence, pretending to cry. They could hear her caterwauling from their position behind a large oak tree.
“She’s good. I’ll give her that,” Sophie said in admiration. “Just don’t tell her I said that, or I’ll have to kill you.”
“Shh, let’s watch.” Toots nodded toward the fence, where a man, the man they were all assuming was Frank and were counting on to be horny enough to drop his pants for Ida, stood on the opposite side of the fence.
Ida’s crying turned into hiccups.
They watched.
Ida shook her head left to right, then up and down. The man, Frank, passed what appeared to be a piece of tissue through the holes in the fence. He had manners. Chalk up one point in his favor. Ida took the tissue, then blew her nose so loudly, Toots was sure she’d blown her adenoids straight into outer space, crashing into the satellite used by Google Earth. She smiled at the visual.
Frank removed a large ring of keys clipped onto the side of his belt. He inserted a key in the lock and pulled the large gate inward toward the building. As instructed, Ida placed herself in the position where if the gate were to close, she would be squashed. Frank’s head bobbed up and down like a toy dunking bird’s. Her dress was so low cut, it was a miracle her boobs hadn’t slapped against Frank’s chest. Ida inched closer to Frank, her boobs mere inches from him. Toots was hoping he would look down, but he didn’t. Ida shifted herself so she was almost touching Frank. She started crying again, only this time she wrapped her arms around Frank’s neck, as though all strength had been sucked away from her. Then, the second Frank’s arms encircled her waist, she instantly went limp.
“She is good,” Toots whispered. “Watch for the signal.”
The words were no sooner out of Toots’s mouth when they spotted Ida’s right hand waving behind Frank.
“Let’s go,” Toots said. “Sophie, keep your mouth quiet.”
Sophie nodded.
They trotted across the street, darting behind trees and shrubbery. When they had a clear run for the open fence, they stopped. This was only phase one of plan B. Ida had yet to get the keys.
They waited while Ida continued to bawl like a baby. At least five minutes passed before they heard the rattle of keys as they slapped against the dirt near where they were standing. With a Mini Maglite, Toots searched the ground in front of her. Spying the keys, she scooped them up, put them in her pocket, and motioned for the girls to follow her.
Ida had Frank plastered against the fence, her face covering his. Toots couldn’t tell where Ida started and Frank ended. This was a good thing.
“Okay, ladies, it’s now or never,” Toots said.
Running like a one-legged man being chased by the bulls in Pamplona, Toots, Sophie, and thank-god-she-was-slender-now Mavis hoofed it across the street and inside the fenced area.
Not knowing how long Ida could keep Frank smashed against the fence, they skirted the edge of the warehouse until they found the door from which Frank had exited. Toots jostled the keys, inserting one after the other until she finally located the key that turned the lock.
Once inside, she removed her fanny pack, preparing to leave it in place of the material they were taking. Stealing. Toots hadn’t ever stooped this low. She had to keep reminding herself it was for Mavis, who was the doer of good deeds personified. And not really stealing—maybe. More like an unconventional form of bartering, except that in this case it was greenbacks for cloth rather than tomatoes for tonsillectomies. Toots was sure that those Republican congressmen who had been all over the cable news shows would be very proud of them.
Inside, they were surrounded by bolt after bolt of brightly colored material. A man-made rainbow.
With their lights held out in front of them, Toots, Sophie, and Mavis scanned row after row of cloth.
“Two minutes more, and we’re outta here,” Toots whispered.
When she heard Mavis shout “Yes!” she knew she’d located what they had come for. Toots and Sophie raced through the warehouse, searching for Mavis.
“Over here!” Mavis called out. “Hurry!”
With fear as their motivator, they each grabbed two bolts of the gray material, stuffing one under each arm. Toots dropped the fanny pack with the ten thousand dollars in their place. This might not be the most conventional thing to do, but sometimes you had to do what was right and convention be damned. At least that was what she told herself as she raced outside into the chilly night air with two bolts of fabric tucked under her arms. With Sophie and Mavis following closely on her heels, Toots made it across the street to the Lincoln in record time.
Huffing and puffing, she tossed the bolts of cloth in the backseat. Three seconds later, Mavis and Sophie followed suit. Once they managed to catch their breath, they piled inside the car. Dear, sweet little Mavis had had the foresight to pack a cooler filled with bottled water.
“Here.” Mavis handed Toots two icy cold bottles of water. Toots gave one to Sophie.
Other than the sound of three women chugging water, the night was eerily silent. This was the part of plan B that required total improvisation. Given Ida’s past history, she might spend the entire night sucking face with Frank.
Toots couldn’t visualize Ida with a blue-collar worker— no way, nohow. Spending most of her life as a New York socialite clinging to Thomas’s side whenever she could as his career as a medical supply magnate took him all over the world, Ida had always been clingy and needy, hence her constant desire for a man. Toots had never really cared for Thomas that much, thought him arrogant and self-righteous. But in reality, he was a perfect match for Ida, but Toots always suspected he had a woman in every port, like Alec Guinness in The Captain’s Paradise.
The gate remained open while Toots, Sophie, and Mavis waited patiently for Ida to either finish her seduction or suddenly discover that she was “not that kind of girl.”
The thought was so fleeting that it had no sooner come to mind than Ida plumped herself down in the passenger’s seat. “Oh my gosh! That man has the worst breath I’ve ever smelled. I don’t think I’ll ever kiss a man again. Mavis, I just want you to know that your obsession with good deeds has ruined any future I might’ve had with a man.”
Toots started the engine and eased the large vehicle away from the grove of trees, hopefully undetected. “I want to hear all about it. How in the world did you manage to keep him smashed against that fence for so long?” Toots pushed the washer-fluid button, squirting window cleaner on the windshield. Hundreds of tiny bugs were clinging to the glass. She hit the wiper button and sent the bug carcasses to bug heaven.
“Yeah, I’d like to hear this, too. Maybe an old one-man woman like me could learn a few tricks. It’s not like I’m dead. Who knows? I may hook up with a ghost,” Sophie quipped.
They all laughed.
“Ida, I will do whatever you need to make this up to you. I feel simply terrible. I imagine dear Herbert is flipping over in his grave now.” Mavis pretended to genuflect.
“I’ll think of something, I’m sure,” Ida said. “He was exactly as your friend Catherine said. A dirty old man. Never in my life have I smelled such horrid breath.”
“You already told us that. Okay, his breath stank. Now tell us how far you let him go,” Sophie said. “This reminds me of our
high-school days. Remember how we always asked Ida how far she let ‘that boy’ go?” Sophie cackled.
“At least I had dates. That’s more than I can say for you,” Ida shot back.
“Unlike you, I had to work. Quit stalling and tell us the details.”
“All right. I told him my fiancé tossed me out of the car because I wouldn’t have sex with him in the cab of his truck. He said I didn’t look like the type of lady that would ride in a truck, let alone have sex in one. Of course, he knew right then that I was a sophisticated woman with class, or at least that’s what he said. You might want to take note of that, Sophie. With your vulgar mouth, you’ll never catch a decent man. You remind me of a neighbor I had in New York City. Her name was Marsha. She dressed like a dime-store hooker and had the mouth of a truck driver.”
“I’ll go with the trucker. I have a foul mouth, but the hooker, you might want to rethink that. And who knows? Maybe I’d like a sleazy security guard with bad breath,” Sophie singsonged.
“That is your type,” Ida replied.
“Knock it off, you two,” Toots called out. “I’m trying to concentrate on my driving.”
“Frank was like putty in my hands. After I fed him that silly sob story, he wrapped his arms around my neck. I started kissing him, and he obviously kissed me back, bad breath and all. He tried to put his hands down my dress. I told him it was too soon, that I wasn’t that kind of girl. Over the next twenty minutes I did nothing but kiss and gag, making sure to keep my hands running through his hair, very close to his ears. When I heard you guys running, I suddenly feigned an attack of conscience. I told him I had to get back to my fiancé. He was reluctant to let me go. So I gave him Sophie’s cell phone number.”
Again, the four women giggled until their sides hurt.
“I don’t believe that,” Sophie said.
Ida laughed, hearty and loud, something she rarely did. “Oh yes, I did. What’s that saying about revenge? Getting even is only half the fun.”
Thirty minutes later, Toots drove down the winding road leading to her home. They’d left the lights on and the windows open. She pulled in front of the house, not bothering to park the car in the garage. As they got out of the car, they could hear Coco barking like an attack dog.
“Maybe that pooch is smarter than I thought,” Sophie said. “She senses danger.”
Mavis raced ahead to the front door. “That’s not a danger bark. That’s an I-need-to-go-outside bark.”
They all raced inside, tossed the bolts of material on the sofa, and went to their rooms.
Being a thief was hard work.
Chapter 18
Bernice arrived at 4:00 AM, only to discover Sophie, Mavis, and Toots gathered in the formal living room, their sewing machines humming away. Coffee lingered in the air, and someone had made toast. Bernice could smell it.
“What in the world are you doing up early, sewing? You keep straining your eyes like that, and you’ll all be blind before you reach the ripe old age of seventy.”
Toots looked up from her sewing. “We just started an hour ago. We all woke up early and decided to get started. The post office closes at noon, and these packages have to go out this morning. We figured the more we had ready to ship, the happier Mavis’s customers will be. Plus, I promised Jamie I would bring you all down to the bakery for a treat. She’s been dying to meet you.”
Bernice shook her head from side to side. “No way, José. I saw what happened to that fat man. I’ll stay here and have a bowl of Froot Loops, thank you very much.”
Toots rolled her eyes. “If that old building is haunted, which I seriously doubt, it isn’t her doing. The building was left to her by her grandmother. She’s simply a young woman trying to make a living. And she certainly doesn’t look like a witch. She’s a blond-haired, blue-eyed pixie. You will all adore her. She kind of reminds me of Abby.”
“Then I can’t wait to meet her,” Mavis said. “I might even try one of those pralines you’re so fond of.”
“Have you talked to your daughter since you purchased this . . . sweet shop?” Bernice asked. “She might want to know what her mother is up to.”
Toots hadn’t, but she would. “Abby is busy running a newspaper right now. I’ll call her this afternoon, after I take Mavis in to see Joe.” Something told her Abby and Chris would be just fine without her right now. Call it a mother’s intuition. Toots would know if Abby needed her; plus she would call. She was a smart girl. Just like her mother, Toots thought and laughed out loud just as Ida came downstairs and joined the others.
“Mind telling us what you’re laughing at?” Ida said, a slight tilt to her perfectly shaped mouth.
“I was thinking about Abby and Chris. There’s a spark between those two, just like there was between John and me.”
“I sensed that, too,” Mavis said. “Chris is such a sweet boy. I think he would make a suitable mate for Abby, don’t you?”
Sophie sputtered and sputtered, coffee flying all over the piece of material she had on her lap. “Earth to Mavis. This is the twenty-first century. You sound like someone from the eighteen hundreds. ‘A suitable mate.’ ”
Mavis mopped up the spill with a baby wipe, a trick she had learned from George. Said it was an old secret in the dry cleaning business. And all this time they’d been spending a small fortune on dry cleaning, Sophie thought, when a three-dollar box of baby wipes would do the trick.
“You know what I mean,” Mavis said sweetly.
“I’ve always hoped they would get together,” Toots said.
“Something tells me you might just get your wish,” Ida added. “I’ve seen the way they look at each other.”
“Stay in touch with your daughter,” Bernice said, then scurried out of the living room and into the kitchen.
Immediately, Toots knew why Bernice was so abrupt. As usual, her son had never called. She found her in the kitchen, scrubbing countertops that were already spotless.
“He didn’t call, did he?”
“Does he ever?” Bernice continued to scrub the counters with a vengeance. “I never thought he would act this way, turn on his very own mother. Well, maybe that’s the wrong way of saying it. He just plain forgot about me. Running all over the country, trying to find himself? I wonder how many trips it’s gonna take before he learns that he is who he is no matter where he goes.”
Toots grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the table. She opened the back door, then lit up in the kitchen, something she rarely did. Bernice needed to talk, and she needed to smoke. Concessions must always be made for whatever the circumstance.
Toots inhaled, loving every ounce of nicotine that ruined her lungs. “It’s his generation. They’re strange. Family and home don’t mean as much to them as it did to our generation. Even Abby couldn’t wait to escape to the big city after she graduated from college. I guess what I’m trying to say is, take what you can get, when you can get it, because I don’t see future generations making a change.”
Bernice nodded. “You’re right. I’ll be okay. I just need a while to pout, bitch, moan, and groan. I’m at the I-feel-sorry-for-myself stage now. I’ll be fine. Go on and help Mavis finish those clothes. I’ll bring in fresh coffee when it’s ready.”
Toots knew she’d been dismissed from her own kitchen, but that was okay. It was Bernice’s way. They’d been friends since Abby was five. They were more than friends, Toots thought as she went back to the formal living room. They were family.
The next five hours they stitched, pressed, and packed. They had more than enough material to fill Mavis’s orders, but not enough womanpower. Toots suggested Mavis contact a manufacturing company, because something told her Good Mourning was going to be big, very big. Mavis said she had a few contacts in California. After seeing forty-seven more orders on the Web site that morning, Toots figured she’d better start making phone calls. As much as she wanted to jump in, this was Mavis’s gig. She’d fronted her the ten thousand dollars, but Toots knew as soon as Mav
is had the cold, hard cash in hand, she would return the money. For Mavis, it was a matter of pride, so Toots would accept the money, albeit reluctantly.
Now, if they got away with stealing the material, they would be good to go. Toots was afraid to listen to the local news for fear their theft would show up on it. Telling herself to forget about it, she put last night’s wild, crazy event behind her. She had places to go and things to do.
At ten, they had the boxes packed and ready to be taken to the post office. That left them all an hour to shower and change and get ready for the ride into Charleston. Toots couldn’t wait for Jamie to meet her dearest friends, and she couldn’t wait for those dearest friends to meet her new business partner.
With a stop to deliver the packages to the post office, it was past lunchtime by the time they arrived at The Sweetest Things. Unlike her last visit, Toots viewed the bakery with the eye of a partner instead of the consumer. Half a dozen customers lingered around the display case. Melted butter, sugar, and rising dough gave off a pleasing scent. When Jamie saw her and her friends, she came flying out of the kitchen, flour dusting the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Her hair stuck up in tufts like tiny bird feathers. Her blue eyes sparkled like sapphires.
“These must be the godmothers. I’ve heard so much about all of you.”
Toots made quick work of introducing her friends to Jamie. Once they’d all gotten past the introduction and formalities, Jamie sat them down and served them her most delectable pastries, petits fours, and pralines. Sticking to her die-hard rules, Mavis had only one praline. Toots had three pralines, two chocolate-chip cookies, one slice of red velvet cake, and a large glass of milk. This place would ruin her figure if she stuck around. Being a silent partner was a very wise decision on her part. As much as she loved sweets, she would be like the blueberry girl in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.
After they finished gorging themselves on Jamie’s pastries, she showed them the kitchen, then showed Toots the books, the dollars coming in, and what was going out, plus what her future expectations were. She was pleased with the figures so far, even though it had been only a day since word started circulating via the grapevine that the fat man had had clogged arteries and had acted against doctor’s orders by even being in line at the bakery while awaiting surgery to open those same arteries up. All things considered, Toots was very satisfied with her decision to buy into the bakery. Her gut told her she was straight on.
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