by Sarah Morgan
He hadn’t said what he wanted to do about ending their relationship in public, but presumably he’d chosen to wait until after Christmas Day so that her grandfather wasn’t upset.
Rio pressed his mouth to her neck and gave a groan. ‘We probably shouldn’t be doing this—’
‘I want to.’ Evie spoke without hesitation, her eyes closing as he slowly unzipped her coat and trailed his mouth lower. ‘I want to spend tonight with you.’ If this was their last night together, then she wanted something she could remember for ever. She wanted memories to keep her warm.
She couldn’t have him for ever, but she could have him for now.
‘You’re sure?’ His voice was deep and husky and she nodded.
‘Completely sure.’
It was only later, much later, when she was lying in the darkness, cocooned in his arms and sleepy from his loving, that she asked the question that had been hovering on her lips for days. ‘Will you tell me why you hate Christmas? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but—’
‘It was never a good time of year for me.’ He tightened his grip on her. ‘Every Christmas was a nightmare. I’m the product of a long-term affair between my mother and a very senior politician who was married with his own family. Christmas Day was the one day he always spent with them. I was eight years old when he finally found the courage to tell her he was never going to leave his wife. I found her body lying under the Christmas tree when I got up in the morning.’ He spoke the words in a flat monotone, the same voice he might have used when discussing the share price.
Evie lay immobile, shock seeping through her in icy rivulets, like melting snow. The vision played out in her brain in glorious Technicolor. An excited eight-year-old dashing downstairs to see if Santa had left presents under the tree and discovering death in all its brutal glory.
She wanted to say something—she wanted to find the perfect words that would soothe and heal—but she knew that such words didn’t exist. She knew from experience that there weren’t always words that could smooth the horrors of life, but she also knew that human comfort could sometimes warm when the temperature of life turned bitter cold. So she tightened her grip on him and pressed her lips against his warm skin, her muffled words intended to comfort, not cure.
‘The doctor had given her tablets for depression.’ Now that he’d started speaking, he seemed to want to continue. ‘She’d swallowed them all, along with a bottle of champagne her lover had given her for Christmas. I called an ambulance but it was too late.’
Evie’s eyes filled with tears. ‘So what did you do? Where did you go?’ She thought of her own loving grandparents and the tears streamed down her face and dampened his skin. ‘Did you have family?’
‘I gave the hospital the number of my father—’ he wiped her tears with his fingers and gave a humourless laugh ‘—that must have been quite a Christmas lunch, don’t you think? I believe it was his wife who answered the phone so he probably had some explaining to do.’
‘Did he take you into his family?’
‘Yes, on the surface. As a senior politician he had to be seen to be doing the right thing and I was effectively an orphan. In practice, they sent me to boarding school and tried to pretend I didn’t exist. His wife saw me as a reminder of her husband’s lengthy infidelity, his daughter saw me as competition and my father saw me as nothing but a bomb ready to explode his career. He told me I’d never make anything of myself.’
‘He should have been ashamed of himself—’
‘His career disintegrated soon after that, so I don’t think life was easy for him.’
Evie pressed her damp cheek against his chest. ‘So now I understand why you were prepared to fight so hard for your little girl. Why you wanted to be a father to her.’ And she understood why every Christmas tree slashed at the wound he’d buried so deep. And yet he’d put his own feelings aside in order to decorate the Penthouse for her. She wanted to ask why he’d done that—why he’d put himself through that. ‘I love you, Rio.’ Suddenly it seemed terribly important that she tell him, no matter what happened when the sun rose. No matter what he thought of her. ‘I love you. I know you don’t love me back—I can understand why you’re so afraid to love after what you learned about relationships as a child, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I want you to know you’re loved.’
He gave a low groan and pulled her onto him, wrapping his arms around her. ‘I know you love me. I saw it in your eyes when you looked at me in the park.’
‘Oh.’ Embarrassed, she gave a tiny laugh. ‘So much for hiding my feelings. Just don’t ever invite me to play poker.’
‘Evie—’
‘Don’t say anything.’ She pressed her mouth to his. ‘This has happened to you a load of times before. I know it has. It’s fine. Don’t let’s think about tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy right now. Right now is all that matters.’
She lay awake in the darkness, holding him, wishing she could hold the moment for ever and stop dawn breaking.
It was the end, she knew that.
For the first time in her life, she didn’t want Christmas Day to come.
CHAPTER NINE
RIO was up with the dawn, all dark shadows of the night thrown off as he showered and changed and spoke into two of his three phones while making the arrangements for the day.
Moving more slowly, Evie dressed and collected together the presents she’d bought for her grandfather. A soft cashmere scarf for his walks in the gardens of the home, a reading lamp and some of his favourite chocolates.
As Rio made the final preparations, she wandered back into the sitting room and stared wistfully at the decorations. How much courage had it taken, she thought, to adorn the Penthouse with the flavour of Christmas when the taste must be so bitter to him. A great deal of courage. Obviously, he wasn’t a wimp.
He was a real man.
‘Are you ready?’ He strode up to her and relieved her of the parcels and Evie took a breath.
No, she wasn’t ready. But she was never going to be ready for him to walk out of her life.
‘I’ve never been on a helicopter before,’ she said brightly. ‘Life with you has been one big new experience.’
He smiled and kissed her on the mouth with erotic purpose. ‘We’re not finished yet.’
No. They had today. One whole day.
Her heart skittered and jumped and she wanted to ask him what his plans were for the announcement, but he was already striding into the elevator, this time going up to the roof, to the helicopter pad.
And then they were flying across the snow-covered English countryside and Evie thought she’d never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Beautiful and poignant because the enforced silence made her mind focus on the fact that everything she did with him today would be for the last time.
By the time they finally landed in the gardens of the Cedar Court Retirement Home, she was barely holding herself together. Even the prospect of seeing her beloved grandfather couldn’t lift her sagging spirits. What made the whole thing even harder was that Rio seemed completely energized.
‘I am looking forward to finally meeting your grandfather, having spoken to him so many times on the phone.’
So many times? Evie frowned. She knew he’d called her grandfather twice, but she wasn’t aware of any other occasions. Before she could question him, the doors opened and she saw all the residents lined up in their finery. She saw Mrs Fitzwilliam with her hair newly styled and then there was her grandfather, dressed in his best suit and smiling proudly at the head of the line.
Within a second she was in his arms and kissing him, her tears mingling with his as they hugged and talked at the same time and he felt solid and safe and such an important part of her life that she wondered why on earth she’d ever thought she could live happily in London. Maybe she’d be all right, Evie thought as she closed her eyes and hugged him. Maybe she’d survive.
They spent precious minutes catching up and it was
a few moments before she realised that the entire retirement home had been transformed into a silver and white paradise, just like the Penthouse.
‘Your Rio has done us proud, that’s for sure. You found yourself a real man, Evie. I can see how much you love him,’ her grandfather said gruffly and Evie’s control almost cracked as she wondered how on earth she was going to explain to him when the time came to break it off. She cast a helpless glance at Rio but he merely smiled and turned to say something in Italian to Antonio.
Rio’s chefs had surpassed themselves but Evie barely touched her lunch, relieved when her grandfather finally rose to make a speech and she could give up the pretence of eating. He thanked the chefs, the styling team and most of all Rio. And then he looked at Evie, his eyes full of love.
‘Sometimes,’ he said quietly, ‘life doesn’t turn out the way you plan it. When Evie came into our lives, we became parents all over again and those years were the happiest I’ve known. Evie, I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I’ll always be proud of you. Not because of what you do, but because of who you are.’
His words cut the final thread on her control. Evie felt tears scald her eyes and she had the most awful feeling that her grandfather knew that her life had tumbled apart in London. Had he somehow discovered that she’d lost her flat and her job? Had he guessed that this whole thing with Rio was a farce? She took a gulp of the champagne Rio had provided, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from falling. She was so choked that she was relieved when Rio stood up.
And then she saw the serious look on his handsome face and relief turned to alarm. Oh, no. Please don’t let him decide that this was a good time to tell the truth. Not on Christmas Day.
She wanted her grandfather to have the very best day of his life—
Her anxious gaze met Rio’s and she mouthed the word don’t! but he simply smiled as he lifted his glass.
‘I agree with every word that has been spoken. Life certainly doesn’t turn out the way you plan.’ His voice was smooth and confident and it was clear from the way he spoke and stood that he was comfortable addressing large groups of people. ‘When I arrived in London twelve days ago, my plan was to sort out a complicated business issue and then spend the next few days blocking out the fact that it’s Christmas, because that’s what I do. Every year I try and forget it’s Christmas.’ A shocked silence greeted his words and Evie felt her mouth dry as she anticipated what he might say next.
‘But this year—’ he paused and a faint smile touched his hard mouth ‘—this year I met Evie and all my plans changed. Instead of doing deals, I was dancing. Instead of analyzing shares, I was building snowmen. When I arrived in London I had no plans to fall in love and certainly no plans to get married—’ he let the words hang in the air and a stunned silence spread across the room ‘—but that’s because I didn’t know that people like Evie existed.’
Nobody moved.
Evie felt as though she was going to pass out. She saw her grandfather beaming at her and several of the elderly women fanning themselves as they watched Rio standing there, tall and impossibly handsome. She felt a burst of hope, followed by a cascade of incredible joy, immediately tempered by caution because she was so terribly afraid she might have misunderstood.
Was this still pretending? Had he decided to take their charade one step further before shattering it for ever?
She glanced around, wondering if the press had somehow gained access to this private event, thinking that only a long lens could have triggered that speech from him. But there were no fancy cameras. There were no journalists or paparazzi scrambling to record the moment.
So why was he saying these things?
‘Evie—’ He took her hand in his and drew her firmly to her feet. ‘I know how much you love me. What you don’t know is how much I love you.’
Her knees felt weak and her body started to tremble. ‘Rio—’
‘It’s real.’ Reading her mind, he pressed his mouth to hers, his kiss a lingering promise of a lifetime of love. ‘This isn’t for the press, or for your grandfather. It’s just for us. I want you to marry me.’
‘But—’
‘I live and work in such a hard, cynical world. I deal with hard, cynical people—and then I met you.’ He stroked her hair away from her face, watching her expression as if he were trying to interpret every blink. ‘Yesterday, when I finally heard that I had what I wanted, I couldn’t work out why I didn’t feel more elated. And I realised it was because gaining my daughter meant losing you and I didn’t want it to be that way. I’m afraid that my biggest fault is that I want everything.’
Evie was laughing through her tears. ‘Greedy.’
‘Yes. And selfish, and ruthless—’ Smiling, unapologetic, he leaned his forehead against hers. ‘You already know that I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want, and I want you, for ever, so you might as well just surrender without a fight.’
For ever?
Happiness flooded through her. ‘You don’t have to fight.’
‘Marry me,’ he murmured softly. ‘We need to give your grandfather a baby to bounce on his knee and in the meantime he can make a start with Elyssa. She’s in desperate need of spare family. She has us, of course, but a wise person once told me that it’s useful to have spares of everything so I thought it would be good to collect some more relatives for her.’
Evie buried her face in his neck, half laughing, half crying, thinking that if this was how love felt then from now on every day was going feel like Christmas. ‘I—’
‘I think the rest of this conversation should be conducted in private,’ Rio breathed, sweeping her into his arms so that the toe of her shoe narrowly missed the Christmas pudding. ‘Please enjoy the rest of your meal. This afternoon we have dancing. And singing. And Evie will be back to give a private performance of her much acclaimed version of The Twelve Days of Christmas but, as that requires dancing on the tables, it has to be after we’ve finished eating.’
‘Rio, you can’t just—’ Mortified, Evie turned scarlet. ‘They’re all looking! What do you think you’re doing?’
‘What am I doing?’ There was laughter in his voice. ‘I’m behaving like a real man, tesoro. If you have any complaints about that, you can take it up with your grandfather.’
Twelve months later
‘Can I hold her?’
‘Of course you can,’ Evie said immediately. ‘She’s your baby sister.’
Elyssa stepped closer and peered at the baby’s face. ‘She’s very small.’
‘Well, she’s only three weeks old. You were this small once.’
‘But I didn’t live with you then.’
‘No.’ Evie reached out a hand and stroked Elyssa’s dark hair. ‘But you live with us now. We’re a family. Always.’
‘I liked being your bridesmaid. I’m pleased you married my Daddy.’
Evie swallowed. ‘I’m pleased, too. Now, sit back in the chair and then I’ll hand Lara to you. She needs to feel secure.’
The little girl wriggled to the back of the chair and held out her arms and Evie sat down next to her and carefully gave her the baby, willing the infant not to wake up and cry.
From beyond the windows she heard the sound of a helicopter and moments later Rio appeared in the doorway. His exquisitely tailored suit moulded to his athletic physique and Evie felt her stomach drop. Even after a year together, she still found it hard to breathe when he was in the same room as her.
‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ he drawled, dropping his briefcase and walking across to them. ‘There were a few things I had to arrange. Last minute Christmas shopping. What have I missed?’
‘Daddy! Have you bought my present?’ Elyssa wriggled with excitement and Rio dropped a kiss on the top of her head and dropped to his haunches.
‘I might have done. You’re holding Lara.’ He shot a questioning look at Evie who smiled reassuringly.
‘Isn’t she doing brilliantly? She’s so good with her sister.’
As she spoke, the baby’s eyes opened and Evie held her breath. Don’t cry.
‘She’s looking at me.’ Elyssa looked at her half-sister in fascination. ‘Can she see me?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Watching the two of them together, Evie felt a lump in her throat. ‘She loves you, Elyssa.’
‘Grandpa and I hung her stocking on the fireplace and I wrote to Santa to tell him she’s only a baby so he doesn’t leave her unsuitable toys.’
‘She’s so lucky having you as a big sister.’ It had taken months of patience but finally the nightmares had stopped and Elyssa had started to behave like a normal little girl. Far from unsettling her, Lara’s birth appeared to have given her greater security—as if the arrival of the baby had somehow cemented their little family.
Elyssa kissed Lara’s downy head. ‘I can’t wait for her to grow big enough to be able to play with me. Can you take her back now? She’s really heavy for someone who only drinks milk.’
Rio expertly scooped up his baby daughter, holding her against his shoulder as he sat down on the sofa next to Elyssa. ‘Did you decorate the Christmas tree while I was away?’
‘Evie wanted to wait for you.’
Knowing how Rio felt about Christmas, Evie cast him an anxious look. It was enough for her that they were together and in England. She was still overwhelmed by his decision to buy the beautiful old Manor House close to the Cedar Court Retirement Home, meaning that she could have her grandfather to stay. He’d declared himself too old to be flying around the world to visit their other homes, so Rio had shifted his business operation to enable him to spend as much time in England as possible.
And her grandfather was delighted that his wish had been fulfilled twice over. He now had two great-grandchildren to hold on his knee.
Rio leaned across Elyssa and delivered a lingering kiss to Evie’s lips. ‘I missed you. No more work,’ he promised, ‘for the whole of Christmas. Anyone who phones me is fired.’
‘I missed you, too.’ She kissed him back, careful not to squash the baby. ‘Are you serious? You’re not working?’
