by Dena Nicotra
“I could use something to love, talk to me.”
“So, your boy is in the cell with that stick-up-her-ass lady, Janelle, and Ross is watching out for them. By the way, apparently, they go way back.”
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.”
“Sorry, I’m sure that’s a tender subject.” I waved my hand, to push him beyond the sentiment. Understanding my prompt, he continued. “Sorry, Lee. So anyway, she goes bat-shit crazy on your guy.”
“Don’t call him my guy, Dallas. He’s so not my guy.”
“Got it. So she goes all bat-shit crazy on him and tells him how she was meant for bigger things, and how she couldn’t believe that she was stuck in this backwards little town in a dirty little jail cell after everything that she’d done for him and about that time, he goes into some sort of fit of rage and chokes her, shouting something about being a fisherman. Ross had to break it up, but I guess he roughed her up pretty good.”
“Fish,” I muttered.
“What was that?”
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter anymore.” Dallas nodded. I could tell by the expression on his face that he knew I’d been through enough and even though he didn’t understand all of it, he knew when to let me have the space I needed. Silence between us was never uncomfortable. I swallowed the last of my whiskey.
“You need some sleep, Lee. I’m going to head on back to the house and check on my mom. We’ll talk tomorrow after you’ve had some rest.” He handed me his empty glass. As I watched him walk away, I realized how glad I was that he’d survived. I pulled the blanket up around me and collected my glass, along with the empty bottle and went inside. I had one thing on my mind and that was sleep.
Thankfully, Alice had moved the baby to a portable crib in the living room and neither she nor Maude said a word as I deposited the glasses and the empty bottle on the kitchen counter. I padded down the hall to my room and closed the door behind me. I had one extra room and more guests than my little place could hold, but I didn’t care. They’d invited themselves, so as far as I was concerned, they could work out the details of who got a bed and who got a couch. I peeled off my clothes and crawled under the covers. My bed had never felt so good.
I woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of a baby crying. There’s nothing more annoying than the sound of a baby crying when you don’t have kids. Note to self…I didn’t miss anything about that. Every muscle in my body screamed at me in defiance for waking up, but the bacon called, and the promise of hot coffee demanded my attention. I was also fueled by the need to know if Giz was able to save Two.
I pulled on a sweatshirt and the pair of sweatpants that I’d tossed on the rocking chair beside my bed, and then went to the bathroom. Finishing my business, I glanced at myself in the mirror. All things considered, I looked decent. Not bad for a woman that had just ended the simp apocalypse. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and went to join the others.
Giz met me in the living room with a hot cup of coffee. His hair looked like it had taken on a life of its own, and I could say the same for his breath. Alice was at the stove in nothing but an over-sized t-shirt. Upon hearing me, she turned and gave me a half-hearted smile and then turned away to flip the bacon. Giz raised a finger to his lips as a motion for me to be quiet because Maude was asleep on the couch. Clearly, he and Alice and the baby had taken the spare room. Considering the volume of the snores coming out of that woman, I doubted we would wake her, but I followed Giz to the porch as quietly as I could.
It was almost seven in the morning, but the clouds dulled the sunrise and the chill in the air was less than inviting. I pulled the door closed behind me and took a seat in one of my two dilapidated plastic chairs. Giz chose to stand. “I’m almost afraid to ask, Giz.” I wrapped my hands around my cup to pull in the warmth against the chill of the early morning and adjusted in my icy cold chair. He hoisted himself up on the railing and then took a long sip from his own cup. The anticipation was agonizing.
“I’ve had about three hours of sleep, Lee. To be honest, it’s been one of the longest nights of my life.” He sat his cup on the railing and turned to me. His eyes were bloodshot and he was wearing the same clothes he had on the day before.
“Please, just cut the preamble shit. Tell me, Giz.”
“Your compassion is astounding, as usual, Lee. She’s online. Her primary coding is intact, but there’s been some collateral damage.”
“English, please! What the fuck does that mean, Giz?”
“It means, she’s not the same as she was.”
“How so?”
“She’s volatile. You have to keep in mind that although she’s fashioned after you, she is a learning simp. That means she evolves at her own pace and eventually develops her own identity. She was created with your DNA and that gives her a certain base, but because of the damage she sustained, I had to set her back. The regression approach is the only hope we have.”
“Regression approach? So, what exactly does that mean, Giz?” I took a sip of my coffee and reached for a cigarette from the pack I’d left on the table the night before. Giz raked his hands through his wild hair and let out a heavy sigh of frustration.
“I wiped out as much damaged code as I could, but that data loss changed her. She’s you…but she’s not.”
I lit my cigarette and took a hit before responding. “So, what exactly does that make her?”
“It makes her a giant, blank canvas, Lee. It means that she’s no longer connected to your memories, and she’ll be her own person from here forward.”
“Wait, did you just say person? She’s not a person, Giz.”
“Sorry, I know that’s a weird, touchy subject with you; although if you want to get technical, you’ve treated her more like a person than anyone has.”
“I like the fact that she’s not a person. And you know what? Fuck you, Giz. Just spare me your judgments and be straight with me. Are you saying that her personality has been altered? Because if I’m being totally transparent here, I liked her fucking personality!”
“Of course you did, Lee! She was a replica of you, and let’s be honest…you’re egocentric and you like yourself better than anyone! That’s why you’ve been more than happy to live out here in the middle of fucking nowhere with Two and Deraline! They don’t challenge you. Let’s face it, Lee, we all know you don’t “do people.”
I took another hit off my cigarette and deliberately blew smoke at him. “You know what, Giz? You’re right, I don’t do people and if I hadn’t come across you and your antiquated laptop down in that hole in the freeway, I wouldn’t be going through this shit!”
“So you’re blaming me for all of this?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yeah, I think you actually did, Lee.”
“You are the one that stood beside Fish, not me.”
“Don’t.” Giz pointed a finger at me for emphasis.
“You started it, geek boy.”
“Would you stop fucking calling me that? I resent that, Lee! I’ve done nothing in all of this but do my best to protect you and everyone we care about, so could you just stop! For once, it would be nice if you acknowledged the people that have helped to keep you and our friends alive.”
I took another sip of my coffee. I was disagreeing, but he was getting to me. The truth was, Giz was my friend and I valued his determination as much as I did his geek-infused honesty. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit the fact that I’d come to admire him for a variety of reasons. He was as stubborn as I was. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be where I was.
My frustration withered. “Giz, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m probably the biggest bitch on the planet, and God knows, you’ve had to put up with more of my shit than anyone else. The truth is, I’m scared.”
“You, scared? Oh come on, Lee, I don’t buy that for a second. You’re the toughest woman I’ve ever known.”
“Yeah, well, shit changes.”
“Sometimes, change is a good thing
.” He paused. “You haven’t asked about Deraline or Isaiah.”
“If it’s more bad news, I’m not sure I want to hear it.”
“Isaiah is fine. In fact, he’s more than fine. He’s a goldmine of data and if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue to study him. His connection to Aaron has made him an exceptional wealth of knowledge.” I crushed my cigarette in the ashtray and nodded. “Yeah, sure, that’s fine. What about Deraline?”
“She’s fully recovered. Fortunately, she’s not human, so her sense of regret is only a manifestation of her simulated emotion. I’ve got her shutdown for now because the truth is, I don’t doubt for a second that people in this town would tear her to shreds for the things she’s done.”
The reality of his words sank in. There was no way she could stay in Redburg. I opened my mouth to say something, but Giz raised his hand to stop me. “I’m taking her back with Alice and me. She’ll be fine. We could use the help with the babies, and I think that’s the best solution, all things considered.” I bit my lip and choked back the wave of emotion that stirred in my heart. I knew he was right, but I hated it.
The front door opened and Alice poked her head out. “Oh my God, it’s freezing out here! Breakfast is ready. Are you guys going to come in and eat?”
“We’ll be there in just a second,” said Giz. Alice smiled at him, made a kissing sound and then closed the door. As obnoxious as it was, I envied what they had together. They were in love, and they had a beautiful family. She was right, it was freezing, and my coffee had gone cold. The smell of the bacon had wafted out with her and my stomach was responding.
“We should go inside and eat, Giz. She’s worked hard to make us something for breakfast. Besides, I’m going to need my energy to deal with Mic.” Giz slid down from the railing. His expression reflected his torn emotions. I knew that this was difficult for him, but I had my own agenda
The eggs were runny, the baby was crying, and the bacon was overcooked. To add to insult, Maude would not make eye contact with me. It was awkward enough to have a house full of people (that I hadn’t asked for), but to have to try and act like the breakfast was terrific pushed me beyond my comfort zone. I decided the toast was safe and reached for the butter. Alice got up to tend to the baby and Giz mumbled something before getting up to follow her. I was grateful when she finally stopped crying.
I buttered my toast and tried to suppress my need to scream. All I really wanted was to have a bit of quiet and a chance to figure out what I was going to do about Mic and Janelle. Truth be told, I would have been happy with some whiskey in my coffee, without the company.
“I’ve tiptoed around this long enough. We need to talk,” said Maude. I bit into my toast and nodded my head. I had no idea what Mic’s aunt wanted to discuss, but as far as I was concerned, he’d fallen so far from grace that even she had to be ashamed of the great Fish. I swallowed a bite and then pushed my plate away. I’d been through too much and I was out of compassion.
“Maude, let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? Your nephew is a huge disappointment. I recognize that, for a short time, you thought that he was God’s gift to the modern word, but by now even you must recognize his shortcomings. He’s brought about the apocalypse, Maude. He’s far from brilliant! His selfish decisions have destroyed mankind, for Christ’s sake, and if you defend him you’re as big a fool as he is!” I glared at her and waited for her to defend him.
Instead, she pushed her plate away and daintily dabbed her mouth with her napkin. “You can only see things from your own narrow perspective. If you could only step back, and be objective, you would have to admit that my nephew has done the unimaginable! His work changed the world! That must count for something, Lee.”
I rolled my eyes. This was the part where she’d tell me how she’d raised him, and nurtured his brilliance…but mistakes happen. It was the standard speech that every parent said about a child that had gone and embarrassed them beyond belief. The quintessential, “this mess isn’t my fault” disclaimer.
Well, I wasn’t biting. I frankly didn’t care how she’d raised him, or if that had any bearing whatsoever on his adult actions. In fact, as far as I was concerned it didn’t matter. Every person on the face of the earth makes choices. Sometimes those choices are bad, but when they are deliberate and evil in nature? Sorry, there’s no one to blame for that shit but the decision maker. No one forced Mic to be a greedy, soulless prick.
I pushed back from the table and stood up. “Look, Maude, I get it. You’re his blood, and I really don’t need to hear this. What is it you want from me?” She tightened her jaw and leaned back in her chair. I’d offended her. Oh well. I wasn’t going to offer a hug. I raised one eyebrow and crossed my arms. “What do you want from me, Maude?”
“I want you to be merciful.” Matching my body language, she crossed her arms and stared at me, defiance in her eyes. I thought back to some of the comments she had made when I’d first met her. She loved her life filled with the conveniences of simps. The housekeeping was all handled, the little chores she didn’t want to do were taken care of…hell, she’d had it made when Mic was on top.
“Answer one question for me,” I demanded.
“I’ll do my best, but as I’ve told you, I don’t have answers for this mess!” I smirked.
“You have this answer. Did you know about Janelle?” Her eyes darted away for a split second before she looked back up at me. It was enough for me to know the answer before she spoke. “You know what, don’t bother to answer that, Maude. The answer is written all over your face. She removed her glasses and wiped her eyes. “You don’t understand, Lee. She’s different than you.”
“In what way do you mean, different? Different because she’s educated? Because I know you don’t mean because she’s not a bitch! Spell it out for me!” I’d raised my voice enough to alert Giz. I shifted my focus for a moment when I saw his head poke around the hallway door. Satisfied that I wasn’t out of control, he backed away. The interruption was just enough to get me to cool down a little bit.
“She is a brilliant woman, Lee, and she’s worked with Mic for a long time! She’s different because what she brings to the world has a value for the greater good!”
“That’s cute, Maude. I get it now. You’re willing to turn a blind eye to things that are wrong as long as those things serve a greater good. And you say he didn’t learn from you. You really should give yourself more credit.”
“How could you speak to me that way?”
I slammed my fist on the table. This conversation was over. “Lady, I want you out of my house!” Giz appeared in the doorway again. “Lee,” he implored. “Giz, I swear to God, you’d better not say a damn word! This is my home and she’s not welcome in my home anymore! If you want to walk her to Idella’s, I’m sure she will be accommodating.”
“You know that’s not likely. Idella’s been through so much and she blames Mic for that. Do you really think she’d be willing to take in his aunt as a house guest?”
“You know what, Giz, yes I do think she’d be willing. I’d stake my life on it. You know why? She’s got more class than this one.”
Without another word, Giz helped her collect her things and I sat there at the table and watched as he walked her out. I figured she’d give it one last effort and, true to my gut, she turned in the doorway. “If you won’t be compassionate for him, I beg you to consider the opportunities for humanity. You could lock him up forever if you want, but just think about the brilliance he has to offer the world! You could use his —“
I cut her off, “use his mind, is that it, Maude?”
Desperate now, her hands flailed. “Yes! Exactly! You could control his environment, ensuring safety and let him continue to use his gifts for the world. It would be a chance for atonement!”
“Use his mind…now, where have I heard a plan like that before?” Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, lady!” Giz’ eyes widened with surprise and he blinked several times as if the reality
of her views had just hit home. He picked up her bags and let out a huff of air before he led her out and pulled the door closed. I’ve seen and heard a lot of bullshit in my life, but that just blew me away.
I stood there for a minute, trying to digest what had just happened. My initial impression of people resonated. Without question, I preferred to do without them. As if my taut nerves needed another jab, Bady Bug hit an extreme high note. Who knew such shrill sounds could come from someone so tiny? I rolled my neck to relieve the tension that was building and then went to the kitchen. Ignoring the mess, I poured myself another cup of coffee. Then I topped it with a splash of whiskey, and padded down the hall to my room. I needed a shower, and a chance to clear my head.
The hot water felt good on my shoulders and I took my time washing my hair, shaving my legs and scrubbing off the events of the night before. Towering Aaron and the real Aaron flashed in my mind as I slathered my hair in conditioner. The realization that they were both gone hadn’t quite hit me yet. Now, the only real monster that remained was Mic and his companion. I turned off the water and wrapped myself in an over-sized towel.
I was covered in bruises and my lower back was tender, a not-so-gentle reminder of the permanent effects of Towering Aaron’s legacy. I made a mental note to ask Giz for a refill on the pills I now required to help my body fight rejection from the synthetic alterations. A part of me appreciated the benefits that came with, and another part of me resented the hell out of it.
I wiped the foggy mirror and inspected my reflection. Then, I reached into the top drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. My dark hair was now almost all one length and rested softly against my shoulders. First, I cut my bangs, making them blunt, high and straight. Then, I concentrated on removing the excess length, taking off everything in line with my cheek bones. The sink was filled with hair, but the results left me feeling empowered. Satisfied. It was as if I’d wiped away everything, and in the process, regained my strength.
It had been a long time since I’d put on any make-up, but this was a very special occasion. Besides, I wasn’t opposed to making an unexpected dramatic impression. I reached into a bag of supplies (courtesy of a scavenge run from Deraline) and applied a coat of red lipstick. Then I carefully applied a thin coat of dark eyeliner. Satisfied with the results, I collected my hair trimmings and dropped them in the trash. Now it was time for the killer outfit.
