by Liz Isaacson
His boots stomped on the gravel, and Carson tried to tame his anger back into the box where it simmered, out of sight.
The cabin had a back door, and he wondered if she kept it as secure as the front. He wasn’t going to open it without knocking. You’re not going to open it at all, he told himself as he took the steps two at a time.
He pounded on the door, cringing at the negativity in the sound. “Adele,” he called. If she didn’t open the door, he’d call her until she answered. He’d go check the Goat Grounds. He had to find her, talk to her, figure out what the heck was going on.
Because this thing pulsing between them needed to be satisfied somehow, and if that meant a yelling match like the one they’d had in the grocery store parking lot, then he’d take it.
“Adele,” he called again.
“What?” she asked, and he spun toward the sound of her voice. She stood on Gramps’s back porch, her hands on her cocked hips.
He looked at her, the fight suddenly gone from his body. Now, everything just hurt. Especially his heart. “Is it true? You’re going out with Sawyer Smith?”
Even from ten yards away, he saw the panic parade across her face. “You found out.”
“We all live on this same piece of land,” he said. “You thought you could hide it?”
“No.”
He went down the steps and approached her, his fingers curled into fists. “I don’t want to play games with you,” he said. “I thought we were starting something. You go around holding hands with everyone? Cuddling up to them on their porches? Because I live next door to Sawyer, and I haven’t seen you over there.” He pointed as if she could see the cabins over in the Community from here.
“I don’t hold hands with everyone.”
“Everyone with a cowboy hat.”
“No.”
“Then what is going on?”
She sighed as she came down the steps, and it looked like she rolled her eyes. That made Carson’s anger flare back to life.
“You know what?” he asked. “You really are crazy.”
“I am not.”
“Tell me you don’t like me,” he practically shouted as she came toward him. “And I’ll leave you alone. But I like you. And I don’t want you going to lunch with Sawyer-Blasted-Smith.” His chest heaved, and he couldn’t get enough air.
“I’m not going to go to lunch with him.” Her eyes blazed with blue fire, and dang if Carson didn’t want to get burned by it.
Carson opened his mouth to argue, but his brain caught up just in time. “What?”
Adele swept right into his personal space, tipped up on her toes, and kissed him.
Bright spots of light exploded behind his closed eyes, and he growled deep in his throat, grabbing onto her waist and pulling her tight against him.
“I’m not crazy,” she said against his lips.
“I know,” he whispered, matching up their mouths again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
She kissed him like he’d never been kissed before, and Carson felt a buzzing way down in the souls of his feet.
“I really like you,” she said, her breath hot against his cheek as she tipped her head back, giving him access to the curve of her neck. Carson kissed her there, the feel of her in his arms making him light-headed.
He wanted to tell her he liked her too, but he brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her, kissed her, kissed her, hoping she’d get the message just the same.
Chapter 15
Adele held Carson’s face in both of her hands, the feel of his jaw, his beard, like magic against her skin. She’d been avoiding him for a few days—and catching up on some much-needed rest and relaxation.
But there was nothing to avoid about this kiss.
As soon as she’d heard that he’d gone out with Hudson and Sawyer to do some sort of mapping activity, she’d freaked out. Scarlett hadn’t understood, until Adele had admitted that she and Carson were becoming more than friends.
He’d said he hadn’t dated much back in Montana, but Adele didn’t care. The man could kiss, and every cell in her body vibrated with the smell of him, the touch of him, the taste of him.
He finally pulled away, his breathing ragged, and his shoulders heaving slightly. “All right then,” he said hoarsely. Their eyes met, and Adele didn’t try to hide any of the emotions tumbling through her. “You want me to talk to Sawyer?” he asked.
“No, I can do it,” she said, leaning her forehead against his collarbone. They breathed together, and Adele’s gratitude for this place ran through her. Thank you, she prayed, not sure what she was thankful for but feeling the need to express it.
“You wanna walk with me?” she asked.
“Depends.”
She slid her hands across his shoulders—wow, he had great shoulders—and down his arms to her fingers. “On what?”
“On where you’re going.” He bent to pick up his cowboy hat, which had fallen off at some point during their kiss.
“I thought I’d walk down to the intersection and back. It’s mostly shady at this time of day.”
“What’s down there?”
“Nothing.”
“So why are we going?”
“Just because.” Adele gave him a sly smile. “I can go myself.” She started to stroll, and he immediately fell into step beside her.
“I didn’t mean to call you crazy,” he said, his head tipped down now. He reached up with his free hand and pressed the hat to his head. “I was just so…jealous. Angry.”
“I didn’t really say yes,” she said, and then she went on to explain how the “date” with Sawyer had happened. “I’m not interested in him, Carson.”
“I believe you,” he said.
Adele breathed in deep and exhaled. “I do love it here.”
“It’s a nice ranch,” he said. “We found a couple of old cabins out on the wild land. I always loved going out to a remote cabin when we had to gather the herd or check on crops. I loved the isolation of it. The tranquility.”
Adele smiled and swung their hands between them. “So you think you’ll stay here for a while?”
“Got no place else to go.”
“You have a lot of money. Why don’t you buy another ranch?”
Carson exhaled and adjusted his hat again. “I’ve thought about it. I just don’t think I’m ready.”
“I understand that.” Adele didn’t feel ready to do much of anything. And yet, she got up every day and did her best. “I came here because I was ready for a change, but I wasn’t sure what that should be.”
“Have you found it?”
“Sort of,” she hedged. “I told you I really like cooking.”
“Right. You should go to culinary school. The goat yoga is bringing in a lot of money.”
Adele let several strides go by, hoping the right words would come to her mind. They didn’t, and she realized she was going to have to tell him things no one but Scarlett knew. A river of fear cascaded through her, but it wasn’t as strong as it once had been.
“My ex-husband skipped town,” she started slowly, still trying to organize all the information. She could still feel the utter shock when she realized what Hank had done. She’d sat in her favorite window seat and watched the ocean roll in, steady and strong. She had not been steady and strong in those first few weeks. Sometimes now she didn’t feel steady or strong.
“I don’t know where he is. I haven’t spoken to him in years. He didn’t contest the divorce, nor any of the stipulations in it.”
“Is that normal?” Carson asked, his hand warm against hers.
“Not really,” she said. “But if he returned and faced me in court, he’d have to take responsibility for his debts.” She watched the horizon, remembering how she’d wished she could disappear into it. At least she wasn’t in that dark place again.
“Debts he’d made careful plans to put in my name,” she said. “So the credit card companies don’t care that he’s the one who spent the mon
ey. What they know is my name is on the account, and they want their payment.”
“No,” Carson said, the word made almost entirely of air. “How much?”
“Over a hundred thousand dollars.” Saying it out loud made it so much bigger. The weight of Hank’s debt hovered over her, and she struggled to draw a decent breath. “So I’m making payments, and saving a little for culinary school, and if I’m lucky, I can go before I’m eighty.”
“I can pay for it,” he said, his voice so quiet, she thought perhaps it had been the breeze whispering through the trees.
“No,” she said immediately, and loudly, just in case he had offered to pay for her culinary school. “I’m a big girl, Carson. I’m fine.”
He squeezed her hand and leaned down to press his lips to her temple. “I’m sorry. That situation sounds unfair and just wrong.”
“It is.”
They reached the gate and kept walking. Adele cast a look toward the robot mailbox, noting how quaint and nostalgic it was. “I used to come to the ranch with Scarlett when we were in college.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. There are a lot of good memories here.”
The shade kept her mostly cool, and she was glad she’d been able to get one of her secrets out into the open. Now she just had to tell him about the cooking and the videos. She wasn’t even sure why she wanted to keep it a secret. Scarlett knew, and if her trip to the beach with Hudson was any indication, he knew too.
So why couldn’t Carson know?
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, his voice serious and somewhat soothing.
“Of course.”
“Why didn’t you get mad at God?” he asked. “I mean, you were dealt a rotten hand. Thousands of dollars of someone else’s debt? How is that fair?”
Adele heard the hurt in Carson’s voice. She’d seen it in his face in previous conversations they’d had. “It’s not fair,” she said. “And I was upset for a while. Hank had left almost everything in the house. I sold what I could. I found out he had a storage unit, and I went and cleaned that out too.”
She was treading on dangerous ground now, and she carefully veered away from telling him what she’d found in the storage locker. “I sold whatever I could from that too. Every little penny I can, I’m using to try to….” She didn’t know how to finish.
“Get your life back,” Carson supplied, and it fit really well.
“Yeah,” she said.
“What if you can’t get your life back?”
“You mean like how you’ll never get Cobble Creek back?” She watched him as the muscle in his jaw started to jump.
“Yeah, like that.”
“I guess—I mean—I suppose…I don’t want that life back. So it sucks what happened to me. I don’t deserve to be burdened with certain things. But at the same time, I made choices that got me there too.”
“You did?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice now barely audible. “I stayed with him when I knew his businesses were going under. I stayed when I knew he wasn’t being faithful to me. I stayed, because my life was comfortable, and I was foolish, and…yeah.” She shrugged, never having articulated her situation quite like that before.
“I stayed too,” he finally said as they came out from under the trees that bordered the road that ran up to the ranch.
“Why did you stay?” Adele stopped walking and looked at him.
He wouldn’t face her but looked west as if he might be able to see the ocean from here. “Because I knew what it felt like to have someone walk out on you. Walk away. Never look back.” His eyes met hers. “And I never wanted to do that to someone.”
Adele nodded, a quiet smile touching her mouth. She reached up and cradled his face in her palm. “I know what that’s like too.”
He dropped his chin, almost a nod of acknowledgement. Of what, she wasn’t sure. It had taken Adele a solid year to come to terms with her losses. Sometimes she still wondered if this ranch life was the one she was now living, and how she’d come to be at Last Chance Ranch.
Then she’d remember that the Lord had always led her to exactly where she needed to be, exactly when she needed to be there. He’d done the same for Carson too. He just didn’t know it yet.
Emergency. 911.
Adele glanced at Scarlett’s message on the desk beside her. She had three videos to edit, and she’d be free for a few days. She was really looking forward to it too, because Scarlett was going on a weekend getaway with Hudson, and Adele wanted to tell her about Carson while she was gone.
For some reason, she liked keeping things close to the vest in the beginning. “Probably so you can plan how to reveal them,” she muttered. She couldn’t help it if she was a planner. It wasn’t a crime to be organized and have a game plan.
Emergency? she sent back to Scarlett.
Packing 911. Come quick.
Adele abandoned her video of the cheesy stuffed peppers—which had taken four hours of her time this week, after nightly goat yoga sessions—and typed out On my way as she left her cabin.
When she entered the homestead where Scarlett lived, the energy buzzed with tension.
“Scarlett?” she called.
“Swimming suit!” Scarlett yelled from the bedroom, and Adele went down the hall and paused in the doorway. It looked like a department store had been bombed.
“I can’t believe I’m so nervous.” Scarlett ran her hands down her stomach, her eyes glued to her body. “The beach. I can’t go to the beach with him.”
Adele entered the room and picked up Scarlett’s black suit. She tucked it into Scarlett’s open suitcase. “Of course you can. You’ve already said yes, and you’re leaving in an hour.” She gave Scarlett a pointed look she hoped said Honestly, honey. Why’d you wait so long to call? “Which is why you should’ve let me come help you pack last night.”
“I didn’t sleep at all last night,” Scarlett said, pacing from the bed to the door. “This is a bad idea, right?” She met Adele’s eye, and Adele shook her head.
“Come sit for a second.” She patted the bed beside the suitcase, and Scarlett came and sat next to her. “Honey, you like this man, right?”
“Yes.” Scarlett sounded so miserable about it. Adele had a feeling she’d probably sound the same way about Carson. Because there was always a but. Yes, but….
“And he likes you,” Adele prompted.
Scarlett looked down at her hands, her usually perfectly manicured nails rough from her work on the ranch. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Then just let go of whatever fear is brewing inside you and go have fun.”
“But the swimming suit—”
“Girl, he’s seen you. He’s touched your waist and arms and if he doesn’t know what you’ve got by now, he’s blind.”
“I don’t think he’s blind,” Scarlett said.
Adele laughed and shook her head. “Of course he isn’t. Scarlett, you are what you are. Your body is beautiful, and Hudson knows it.”
Scarlett clenched her fingers together and then released them. “You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” Adele looked at the suitcase. “Okay, pajamas. I don’t think we’ve put those in yet.” She started to get up, but Scarlett put her hand on Adele’s arm.
“Why are you going out with Sawyer instead of Carson?”
“I—” Adele snapped her mouth shut, her eyes widening instead. She wanted to burst with the secret of her and Carson’s kiss last week. At the same time, if she told Scarlett now, she’d never go on the beach trip with Hudson, and she needed to go.
So many thoughts ran through her mind.
This ranch.
Carson.
Culinary school.
TastySpot.
Joey Dawson.
Carson.
Her channel was making more and more money, and the tiny bit of hope she’d acquired over the past few weeks felt like a leaky balloon. She’d never get enough. She might never run out, but she’d
definitely never have enough.
Her shoulders slumped and she finally said, “He’s not in the plan, you know? You’re the one who runs off and does things willy-nilly. I’m the planner, remember?” She studied Scarlett, wishing she could make her friend understand. But Scarlett had always been the leaper while Adele stood on the dock and looked.
“You can’t plan your whole life,” Scarlett said.
“Yes, I can.” Adele stood up, this conversation now over. “Now, do you want something a little sexier for pajamas, or are we going with the middle-aged woman look?”
“I’m too old to try for sexy,” Scarlett said, causing Adele to scoff and wave her hand.
“Rubbish. You’re never too old for sexy.” She stepped over to Scarlett’s dresser and opened the top drawer. A pair of silky, purple pj’s sat there. “Oh, these will do nicely.” She turned, grinned, and put the pajamas in Scarlett’s suitcase. Another item off her checklist. Another plan completed.
As she walked back to her cabin, she decided she just needed to make a new plan. A new list.
One that included culinary school and Carson Chatworth.
Chapter 16
Carson held the reins of the huge black horse while Cache Bryant, a cattle rancher from Nevada who Scarlett had hired to deal with the herd already here on the ranch, muttered under his breath from the rear of the horse.
Most of the animals at Last Chance Ranch had some sort of special need, whether that was a health problem or a neglect issue. This particular horse—Cowboy—walked with a limp from a previous injury, and that meant he did not like anyone poking at his hooves.
Which was too bad, because Cache and Carson wanted Cowboy to have the best life possible. And that meant re-shoeing him to make sure he could walk as well as possible.
“Almost got it,” Cache called.
Cowboy tried to move, and Carson shushed him and held the reins tight. “Just a few more minutes,” he said to the horse. He never tried to soothe a horse who was just being stubborn. Cowboy could learn to stand there and get his feet taken care of.
