by Sam Ryder
I stood on the makeshift platform to address the crowd, both soldiers and citizens. “We failed,” I said. “Not because we were weak or cowardly, but because of technology. The Rising had trucks and automatic weapons. We had zero intel to indicate that’s what would be waiting for us. This is no one’s fault.” Belogon was staring at me, his eyes boring holes into my head. I knew he blamed himself. I understood that mentality, but I needed him to get over it. He would be vital if we had any hopes of regrouping and starting over.
“Those are just excuses,” an Ender woman said from the crowd. The voice was familiar. I tilted my head toward it, eventually landing on the queen, Sierra, who was resting on a litter carried into the square by four able-bodied male Enders.
I remembered her promise if I failed. I wouldn’t blame her if she had me killed.
“You’re right,” I said. “I take full responsibility. We should’ve attempted to gather intel before we attacked. It’s my mistake and mine alone.”
“No,” Belogon said, to my surprise. He stepped forward, climbing the steps to stand beside me. “It’s my mistake too.”
Gehn and Hannah were next, clambering up to stand with us. Adi and Belenie quickly joined them. “It’s our mistake,” they said in unison.
“And ours.” This came from a group of Ender males, injured but not dead. Other voices rose, joining theirs, until a chorus agreed that the mistake was shared amongst the group. I gritted my teeth, in awe of the expected show of support. I didn’t know if I deserved it or not, but that wasn’t for me to decide.
It was time to return the favor, give them back the hope they’d once had. Thankfully, I had experience to draw on to do that. I’d seen war. I’d seen battles, victory and defeat. I’d been wounded. I’d watched men, brothers, die. “We are all survivors,” I said, my voice rising above the crowd. I stared not at the queen, but at the faces of those who’d supported me. They were the ones I answered to, not her. “We lost the battle, but the war is far from over. We will match strength with strength. We will plan our next move carefully. We will rain hellfire and brimstone down on our enemies.”
At some point during my little speech, the queen had ordered her men to turn her litter around and depart the square. I knew it wasn’t the last I would hear or see of her.
I brought things to a close, because we were all tired and hungry and in need of things other than words. “No one will be forced to fight with us, but I hope you will. If so, you have my promise that I will fight with you to the bitter end or to glorious victory. Now rest, recover, and live to fight another day.”
There were no cheers, just fists placed on chests. That meant much more to me. It showed me they still had spirit left.
Still, despite my own words, I was full of doubt.
“We can’t afford to lose many more soldiers,” Belogon whispered in my ear before I could depart the platform. “We’ll run out of soldiers by the third battle.”
“I know,” I said. Math was never my strong suit, but even I could calculate this without taking off my shoes. “But even you need to rest today. We’ll reconvene first thing tomorrow. Agreed?”
Belogon nodded. “You know where to find me.” He left without another word, back to his home in the queen’s secret gardens.
I was about to get to work, checking on each and every soldier who’d stood with me, lending me their voices of support, but Gehn touched my arm. “You need to rest, too, Cutter.”
I blinked, feeling suddenly exhausted. She was right. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to see me collapse from exhaustion. As I stepped down, I saw Adi and Belenie, as well as some of the other medics, moving amongst the injured, helping them. It was a comfort to me.
“Before I sleep,” I said to Gehn and Hannah, “I need a drink. Want to join?”
“Medusa’s?” Gehn asked.
I nodded. That was exactly what I needed to clear my head. While Hannah went to let Belenie and Adi know where to find us once they were finished with the wounded, Gehn and I headed to our favorite Parisian watering hole
Chapter 22
Lies and decisions
I slunk into Medusa’s, my head down, hoping to get a drink and sit near the back, like I usually did.
But Enders packed the place. A lot of the working women were there, taking up nearly every available space. Many turned to watch me walk in, but I didn’t respond to any of their calls.
“Are we any better off than we were before?” one shouted.
“Are you just trying to get our males killed?” another yelled. “They might not be able to fuck, but they still put food on the table and offer some protection.”
“Fuck off,” Gehn said.
I placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling a swell of pride that she would defend me. “Thank you,” I said. “But please. Don’t. I don’t want to cause a scene.” She looked ready to argue, but then nodded once in agreement.
The calls and questions continued, but I ignored all of them. Even if I had an answer, there was no point in debating. Mostly because they were right. I just wanted to get a drink.
I scanned the room to see if there were any empty seats amidst the sea of disapproving looks. No tables were available, but a pair of empty stools sat at the far end of the bar.
Perfect.
I bumped and shoved my way through the crowd to the stools. I plunked down on one and Gehn sat down beside me. “We shouldn’t be here,” she said. “We should be resting.”
“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” I said stubbornly, raising my finger to get the bartender’s attention. She was a short, curvy Ender with exceptionally long, curving horns. Piercings ran up both ears. I ordered my usual and looked at Gehn.
“No, thanks. I’m good.”
“Suit yourself.” I tossed some change on the bar in payment. The bartender whisked it away with practiced precision and slid the drink over a moment later.
A busty woman seated next to me leaned over. “So, you workin’ for the Rising, then?” she asked. “You come over here and whip our males into a frenzy, then lead them out to get killed?”
I didn’t look up. “Lady, we’re doing our best,” I said. “Please. I’m not here to get yelled at today. Just let me drink in peace. The war isn’t over.”
She scoffed and turned away. I took a drink, watching as Gehn’s fingernails dug into the bar, scraping. “You okay?” I asked her.
“Just pissed off,” she said.
“I’m too tired to be pissed,” I said. “Plus, tomorrow is another day.”
“How can you say that after what happened? Out there. In here. It’s all fucked.”
Gehn was dropping a lot more f-bombs than I was used to. Either her sister was rubbing off on her or she really was in a foul mood. “Because it’s true,” I said. “That’s the beauty of the night, of sleep. It’s like a reset button. No, I’m not delusional or stupid. I understand that those we lost aren’t coming back tomorrow. But I also know we can try again. Maybe next time will be different. That’s the way it was in the Nor-Kor-Russian War. We were losing for a while, and then, slowly, we started winning.”
“Yeah, that really turned out well for us,” Gehn said. “Must I remind you.”
I chuckled. It was a fair point. “Well, I’m pretty sure the Rising doesn’t have nukes, although the trucks were a major surprise. Now I’m worried what else they might have up their sleeves.”
“What about what you have up your sleeves?” The question came not from Gehn, but from the bartender, who was back, cleaning glasses and waiting for her next customer. And apparently listening in on our conversation. I couldn’t tell if she was batshit crazy or if what she’d said was some kind of a bad Ender pickup line.
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry. You’re Cutter, yeah? Of course you are. Everyone knows your name now. The man with the plan. But all I’m hearing is talk about the Rising this and the Rising that. They got the best of us is what I’m hearing. But that’s because you’re all worried about
what they got, what they’re going to do. What about what we’re going to do?”
“I’m not sure I follow. The plan is to eventually kick some Rising ass.”
“Sounds good to me. But you’re not going to do it without help.”
I lifted my glass in salute. “That much I know. Half our squad are humans, you know. Then again, most of them were killed during the battle, right alongside the Enders.” In a way, that was important, I felt, but I couldn’t go out and say it. Still, it was good that humans and Enders had fought beside each other for the first time, even if we were destroyed.
“That’s a start,” the bartender said. She finished with one glass and picked up another, drying it with a cloth. “Enders don’t know the Rising, but neither do the humans you’ve been recruiting. You got them from outposts, right?”
I nodded, trying to figure out what she was getting at. “Where else would I get them? Rome?”
“Exactly,” she said, and now I knew she was batshit crazy. “Just listen for a second. The Enders have been stuck in Paris for a long time. Our horned women and big blue guys can’t get anywhere near the Rising. You’re only a good soldier if you know your enemy well. If you don’t, then you’re screwed. So when you have Enders putting together your whole game plan, you are working with limited information. And the humans you’ve recruited aren’t much better. They’ve been isolated at these outposts. What do they know about defeating the Rising? You’re paying them, right? Yeah, I figured. As soon as the coin runs out, they’re gone.”
“So if I want to really get at the Rising...”
“...you need some guys from the Rising on your side.”
I laughed and choked down more of the scotch. “I’ve got a better chance of walking into Rome and taking it over myself than getting someone from the Rising on my side.”
“You’d be surprised,” she said with a smirk. “You ever hear of the Insurgence?”
I put my glass down and looked at her. Gehn said, “It’s nothing but whispers. I heard about the Insurgence before, back when I was living in Rome. But I never met anyone who was a part of it. Honestly, I think it’s just a load of bull.”
“It’s not,” the bartender insisted.
“Fine. Humor me. What’s the Insurgence?”
She leaned across the bar so that only we could hear the next part. “The Insurgence is this group of former Rising members. They left the city because they didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. So instead, they secretly sabotage the work of the Rising every chance they get.”
“Then they’re doing a shitty job,” I said. “The Rising is more powerful than ever. They’ve got trucks outfitted with automatic weapons.
“Atticus is a secretive man, so it’s not easy to get to him. So no, the Insurgence may not have been able to prevent what happened a few days ago to you and the army. But they have managed to stop progress on completing the Grid. You know about the Grid, right?”
I wouldn’t admit my knowledge was rudimentary, but at least I knew the basics. The Rising wanted nothing more than to get the power back on and sell electricity to everyone across the Ends. If that happened, they would control everything and there would be no stopping them. If this woman was correct, I had this Insurgence group to thank for having delayed their progress on the Grid so far.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “I’ve been in the outposts for years. Nobody ever told me about these guys.”
“First of all, a lot of people talk to me because I’m a bartender. That’s just normal. So I hear things. Lots of things from lots of people. Second, they’re a new group. I’ve only heard a few things, all recent. They’re building a reputation, just like you.”
She walked away to help a customer on the other end of the bar. I clutched the drink in my hand and thought about what she told me.
It would have been great to have some “insiders” on our team moving forward. At that point, it was clear that the Rising had an edge on us, and we didn’t know to what extent. We couldn’t afford to sacrifice a whole lot more soldiers to the cause while we figured out what they had. We had to move quickly and be smart about it.
This also explained the skittishness of Atticus when I saw him. He was desperate to shut me down before I even recruited an army because there was already another splinter group forming outside the city walls. His kingdom was crumbling and he knew it, so he was eager to kill anyone who looked at him the wrong way.
I thought he was paranoid. As it turned out, he had a good reason to be paranoid.
“What do you make of it?” Gehn said. “You think her intel is legitimate?”
“I dunno,” I said. “Maybe. It can’t hurt to look into it. The more allies we have, the better.”
“How will you ‘look into it.’?” Gehn asked.
A plan had begun to crystallize in my head, but I didn’t voice it. While the army rested, recovered and trained, I would try to find these Insurgence folks. On my own. I wouldn’t put my women companions in harm’s way because of a rumor.
Nope. This had to be a solo mission. Which meant I needed to sneak away in the dark of night.
“Later,” I said. “Rest comes first. Then we figure out what comes next.” I felt bad about the lie, but not about what came next.
Chapter 23
The hell with the rest of it
As usual, I couldn’t sleep that night.
I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. But every time I found a spot comfortable enough that I should be able to sleep, my brain refused to switch off.
What if I can’t find this “Insurgence” group? What if they don’t even exist in the first place? What if they exist, but they kill me on sight?
I also wondered what would happen to the Enders from here. Now that our group very publicly picked a fight with the Rising, would there be retaliation? Did we piss them off enough that they might charge into Paris and slaughter all of us, using their trucks and machine guns? Did I accidentally sentence this entire city to death?
I wasn’t the kind of person to be “scared” exactly. I was used to being able to take care of business. But now? I was scared my efforts wouldn’t be enough.
So I gave up on sleep and got some fresh air instead.
I rolled out of bed and pulled some clothes on, then stepped out of my bedroom. To my left was the stairway down to street level, and to my right was the stairway leading up to the roof. I didn’t want to walk the streets at night given the current public sentiment, so I opted for the roof stairway.
Maybe a little fresh air and a good view of the stars will relax me and take my mind off all this.
When I reached the top of the stairway, I got my first good look at the rooftop of the Queen’s guest house. It was flat, with a ledge all around the perimeter, almost like a bench to sit on.
Hannah lay in the middle, on her back, staring up at the sky.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked without turning to look at me.
“You either?”
“Sleep hasn’t come easily to me for a while,” she said. “Ever since Gehn…transformed.”
“I’m…sorry.” I really was. Living every day in fear of having your sister dragged away from you and strung up to be executed would be exhausting. I stepped over to the closest edge and sat down on the bench-like ledge, facing her. I released a sigh and looked up at the sky. “Beautiful night,” I said.
“Every night is, pretty much,” she replied. “Weird how the world can end and things still end up looking beautiful.”
“Is that what you’re doing out here?” I asked. “Admiring the beauty?”
“I come up here every night,” she said. “The pressure of this whole thing gets to sometimes. Seeing the stars all omniscient and shit gives me perspective. Reminds me that the universe doesn’t give a fuck whether any of us live or die, you know?”
I did know. But I also knew things were personal, whether the universe gave a fuck or not. “The universe may not care, but I do.”
; Hannah craned her neck up so she could look at me. “Thanks. I don’t know what we would’ve done if you hadn’t been willing to come with us from the beginning. All we had going for us was my sister’s dream and a tiny speck of belief. Or at least she did.”
“You didn’t believe in all this?”
“I didn’t,” she admitted. “Think about it. You were some random stranger we’d never met. Someone who clearly wasn’t interested in getting involved in politics.”
“Then why’d you go with Gehn on the crazy-ass mission in the first place.”
“Because I believed in her. I still do. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I finally believe what we are trying to achieve is possible.”
“That makes one of us. Were you on the same battlefield as me?”
“I was. I saw a man who cared enough to tell others to run while he refused to do the same. I saw a man who cared so much he would run directly into the most dangerous part of the warzone to try to save his soldiers.”
“It’s what any good soldier would do.”
She shook her head. “Maybe once, but not anymore. And certainly not a military leader. They usually make excuses about how they’re more important to the overall war than a bunch of grunts. Not you.”
“Don’t make me out to be a hero. I’m just a man trying to figure out how to help but not really having any clue what he’s doing.”
“You know what they say about faking it until you make it, right?”
“I’ve heard the expression. But I’m not going to lie to anyone.”
Hannah shook her head and chuckled as she lay back down. “Of course you would say that. So don’t lie. Tell them you don’t have a clue. See where that gets you.”
It was a fair point. Gehn had stated in no uncertain terms that the Enders respected strength. Telling them I was as lost as them would get my ass kicked right out of town. I needed to be honest, but I also needed to be smart.
