He rolled before she could complete her statement and she suddenly found herself pinned beneath him. She gasped, but it wasn’t fear that held her motionless. She’d seen him angry before but not like this. Yet in spite of that he was growing hard against her.
“I love you,” she breathed softly, almost desperately, needing him to accept the truth. “I think I fell in love with you the moment I gazed into those steely blue eyes of yours. Do you think it’s been easy finding myself more attracted to you every time we bumped into each other? Trying not to let my heart get involved because I knew you didn’t want to?”
Tears slowly found their way down the sides of her face, wetting the pillow beneath her. “Mike,” she continued in a choked voice. “I’m not asking you to make a choice between me and Melissa. I would never do that.” He had to believe her.
He stiffened, his eyes intense upon her face as though searching for the truth. She forced herself to make eye contact with him, willing him to understand, silently pleading with him to give them a chance. She knew his inner turmoil, knew he was torn with decisions that would change all their lives. She could see the mixed emotions churning in his eyes, her heart going out to him.
“No!” he finally swore, pounding the mattress next to Emma’s head. “I made a promise to myself that Melissa has to come first. I’m not going to change my mind about getting involved with you, Emma.”
An angry snort left her. “It’s a little late because we’re as involved as two people can get…”
“You know what I mean. This was a mistake…”
“Mike, no…” To her mortification a sob escaped her. She bit down on her lip to keep from pleading with him, until the taste of blood filled her mouth and the lump in her throat threatened to choke her. Couldn’t he see how much she loved him?
“I’m sorry, Emma.”
He held her teary gaze for a long moment and she could see he’d made up his mind. He was going to throw them away, deny the love they felt for each other and continue on with his life as if they meant nothing to each other.
“Don’t do this,” she whispered passionately, trying not to sound desperate. “Don’t throw us away. We can continue on the way we are, no-strings attached. We can be friends…” Tears swelled in her eyes, and she hated herself for hearing the desperation in her tone.
A snort escaped him. “Friends? Never, lady, not with you.”
The back of his hand brushed lovingly over her wet cheek; his eyes held a look of deep regret in them.
“You deserve better. I want to fuck you right now.” His cock twitched as if to back up his statement. “And I love you. But I won’t continue to use you knowing it’s not going anywhere. No matter how bad I want you.”
“Don’t you think you’re a little too late?” Emma’s voice was low with weepy emotion. “I hate you for this.”
“God…I never meant to hurt you,” he said hoarsely before rolling away. He got to his feet and headed toward the bathroom without looking back. The sharp click of the closing door sounded overloud and final to her ears.
A torrent of emotion exploded from Emma at that moment and she buried her face into the pillow to disguise her sobs, knowing what true heartbreak was.
Chapter 22
For the hundredth time in four weeks Mike berated himself for being the world’s biggest fool. He’d given up the best thing to happen to him since Melissa’s birth. He’d treated Emma callously, using her and discarding her as if she didn’t matter. The truth was she mattered too damn much. Moreover, he couldn’t begin to figure out how to undo the damage.
It didn’t help that he hadn’t seen her since that morning. The morning he’d broken her heart and driven her home, leaving her with a halfhearted promise to call her when he worked things out in his head. It hadn’t made him feel any better when he’d glanced into her beautiful eyes before leaving her to see her quiet acceptance that she knew he wouldn’t call.
God, walking away from her was the worst mistake of his life. He was miserable. He dreamed about her every night, waking in the middle of the night wanting her so badly he thought it was going to send him to the nuthouse. Likewise, his daydreams weren’t any better. He’d completely lost his focus at work.
On top of everything else, Melissa was barely talking to him and only then when she needed to, confused over the complexity of adult relationships and reasoning. He couldn’t blame her. Hell, his explanation for excluding Emma from their lives didn’t make sense to him. And Melissa wasn’t stupid. Once again she’d been hurt, only this time by him.
Then there was Amanda. Every time he ran into her, she was slightly aloof, as if not sure what to say or how to act around him, though that could be his own guilt making him think that way. He doubted Emma had badmouthed him; she had too much class for that. Yet she had to have told her sister something. He expelled a long breath, reaching for the bottle at his feet. It was funny how he and Emma weren’t running into each other at every turn anymore.
He took a swig of his warm beer, staring out into the darkness beyond his porch. Thanksgiving had come and gone and Christmas was fast approaching. He wondered how many lumps of coal would be in his stocking this year.
“Dad?”
He turned at the sound of Melissa’s voice. He’d left the lights off but he could see enough to make out the flickering gleam in her eyes. “Yes?”
“I was just wondering, you never gave me an answer about the Christmas party.”
Mike hadn’t answered her on purpose. He wasn’t in a very festive mood and the last thing he felt like doing was attending the annual Christmas party at the high school. The basketball court was the only place in town big enough to accommodate a few hundred people inside.
“Dad?”
Her hesitant low tone pulled him back to the present. It wouldn’t be fair keeping Melissa home when they went every year. Before long she’d be going places without him. Until then Mike wanted to do as many father/daughter things with her as possible. “We go every year, don’t we, kiddo?”
“Oh, thank you!” She pushed the screen door open enough to slip through. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go. I know you’re still missing Emma.”
What? Mike didn’t get a chance to question her on how she got to be so smart. The next thing he knew she was throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a tight squeeze. The kind of hug she used to give him, until she’d informed him one night before bed that she was too old for that sort of thing anymore. When she released him, he pulled back, trying to gauge her unusual response, but it was too dark to see her expression clearly.
Was she just a little bit too overzealous? He frowned with suspicion, then realized what he was doing and shook his head. He had to stop analyzing everything. Why wouldn’t she be happy about attending the biggest holiday event of the year?
“See you in the morning.”
She was gone before he could get over his surprise of her unexpected hug.
He listened to her stomping up the stairs as he took another swig of his beer. He made a face when he remembered too late that it was warm and flat. The slam of a door indicated Melissa had reached her room.
Just as he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the rail in front of him, a falling star caught his attention. He watched it streak across the sky for several seconds before having the presence of mind to make a wish on it before it disappeared. It was foolish but at that moment Mike wished the woman he loved was sitting there next to him. He pressed his lips together, accepting the truth. There was no reason in the world why she shouldn’t be. He knew he was going to do whatever it took to make it right between him and Emma.
Even if it meant groveling was involved.
* * * *
“That’s twice you’ve disappeared and I thought you skipped out and went home,” Amanda complained, handing Emma a glass of red holiday punch.
“No, that’s something you do, sister dear. And I told you, I haven’t been feeling well,”
Emma explained, searching the crowd over the rim of her glass as she took a sip. “I don’t know why you insisted I come anyway. I haven’t before.”
“It’s the holiday season for goodness sake, Mom. I thought you needed cheering up. I know Mike hurt you…”
“Please, leave Mike out of this.” She turned before Amanda saw the moisture filling her eyes. Lord, it even hurt to say his name. What had she been thinking by coming to a Christmas party where he might very well show up? Moreover, how would he act if he saw her? Could she take another rejection? She already knew the answer to that; it would crush her.
“Here come Troy and Pete,” Amanda said, grabbing Emma by the arm to get her attention again. “And be nice to him.”
“I’m always nice to Troy,” she said without hesitation.
“I’m talking about Pete,” Amanda corrected.
Emma shot her sister a frown, wondering why she’d say such a thing. Why was Pete with Troy anyway and why was there a silly grin on his face? As dawning gradually replaced her curiosity, she ground out beneath her breath, “What have you done?”
Amanda’s tone said she didn’t know what she was talking about. “Nothing, don’t be so suspicious. He’s just here enjoying the party like everyone else in town.”
Without a date? Emma didn’t believe her but she had no choice but to stand there and wait for the two men to reach them. She took another sip of her drink, pretending interest in the holiday decorations and the huge Christmas tree in the center of the room. It was all very beautiful but her heart just wasn’t in it. She hadn’t even decorated at home.
“Maybe eating something will help.” Amanda smiled at Troy as he approached, love for him shining brightly in her eyes. “Did the doctor give you anything?”
“Yes, he…” Pausing in mid-air, she looked past Troy and Pete, her gaze landing on the one man she was hoping not to run into. He’d just walked through the doorway with Melissa. Looking tall and handsome, as always, with an expression on his face that said he didn’t want to be there anymore than she did.
As he removed his coat, she tried to pull her gaze away before he glanced up and noticed her watching. Yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man she loved. He finally glanced across the distance separating them and froze, his eyes narrowing sharply. Emma caught her breath at the raw look of hunger etched on his features.
“You two ladies look fantastic!”
She barely registered Troy’s compliment. She was forced to break eye contact with Mike when Pete unknowingly stepped in front of her.
“You two boys don’t look half-bad yourselves.”
“Boys? Ouch!” Troy grabbed Amanda to him, giving her a hearty kiss. “You’re standing beneath the mistletoe,” he explained as if needing a reason to kiss her.
Emma automatically looked up, unable to help the smile covering her face. The ceiling was covered with balloons of red and green. It would be nearly impossible to miss standing beneath the mistletoe when someone had gone to a lot of time and trouble securing sprigs of it to the trailing ends of each balloon.
All at once she found herself in Pete’s arms. “What…” But that’s as far as she got. Taken completely unaware, she found herself being kissed and there was nothing she could do about it. It was brief and not anywhere close to being the toe-curling kisses she experienced in Mike’s arms.
“The mistletoe,” Pete explained the second his mouth left hers.
“Any excuse to kiss a pretty woman,” Troy joked, putting his arm around Amanda’s waist and keeping her close to his side. “Don’t even think about kissing my woman.”
“It’s a tradition,” Pete added in his defense.
Emma couldn’t resist returning his boyish smile. He was harmless. When he stepped away, her gaze fell on Mike, who’d apparently witnessed the whole exchange and looked anything but pleased. In fact, he looked ready to kill someone.
Holding back an elated smile, she returned Melissa’s enthusiastic wave. Almost immediately a group of her friends appeared and dragged her off, leaving Mike standing there all alone. He acknowledged Emma with the barest nod of his head.
“Come on, they’re playing our song. We’ll be right back.”
Amanda dragged Troy off to the dance floor, and suddenly Emma found herself alone with Pete.
After a few moments of awkward silence, he said, “It’s a shame to waste a good song. Would you like to dance?”
Before Emma had a chance to respond, a deep voice said from behind her, “I’d love to…but not with you.”
She gasped, spinning around to find Mike had somehow moved up behind her. His comment was directed to Pete, but it was her eyes he met, her hands he took into his. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t so much as exchanged a single word with each other, or that he took it for granted she’d want to dance with him. As she was being guided onto the dance floor, she tossed Pete an apologetic look, surprised to see a pleased smile on his face. She didn’t have time to decipher what his expression meant because all at once Mike turned, bringing her up against him.
Her heart slammed against her ribs at his closeness, her breath catching at his intoxicating scent. She didn’t need to be coaxed to lay her head upon his shoulder. In a matter of seconds Emma became drunk with him, her body awakening to needs only he could satisfy. Neither spoke, content to sway against each other to the slow beat of the music for the time being. Mike wanted her; it was as clear as his pounding heartbeat against her.
After a few moments she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. Trying to inject normalcy in her voice, she asked, “How have you been, Detective?” It felt wonderful being in his arms again and she snuggled closer against him, forgetting for a moment where they were. Forgetting he didn’t want her in his life.
He didn’t seem to mind, in fact, his hands began to move slowly, sensuously over Emma’s back, though remaining in the safe zones. He at least had the presence of mind to remember they were in a crowded room. However, she knew Mike, and his body was like a tightly coiled spring against hers.
“Detective?”
Her tone reminded Mike he hadn’t answered her.
There was a slight pause before he responded in a tight voice, “Fine, and you?”
“I’m…okay.” Was his nose nuzzling her hair? She smiled against his shirt, until his warm breath tickled the lobe of her ear and Emma realized he’d caressed it ever so gently with his lips. What did he think he was doing? She shivered, hoping no one noticed.
“Good.”
“How’s Melissa?” They sounded like strangers trying to make polite conversation. Neither was saying what they really wanted. Emma wanted to tell Mike how much she loved him. How miserable she’d been the last few weeks without him.
“She’s…”
He pulled back, gazing into her eyes until everything, everyone around them became a silent blur. They stopped dancing, yet didn’t separate.
“I’ve had enough of this small talk.”
He took her by the hand and turned, pulling her behind him.
Where they were going Emma didn’t know or care. She didn’t question Mike, letting him pull her along as they headed toward a door that exited the party. It wasn’t the outside door but one that led them to a semidark, empty hallway that was lined with rows of lockers on both sides.
When the door closed behind them, he halted. He pulled her into his arms for a long kiss, his actions a little rough, exposing his hunger. His mouth moved over hers, coaxing hers open so he could slip his tongue inside, and taste her willingness. Arching against him, Emma wound her arms around his neck and clung to him like a drowning woman and he was the only one who could save her.
It didn’t take long for the passion to intensify between them. Their bodies began to strain with the need to get closer. The heat became unbearable. Whether he intended it or not, Mike moved until Emma was sandwiched between him and the wall. She almost cried out when he broke the kiss off.
“God, I’ve missed you!
” were the first words to pass through his lips. “More than I thought possible.”
“I missed you too,” she breathed huskily, trembling against him. “So very much.”
“It didn’t look that way when Pete was kissing you; he’s damn lucky I didn’t deck him.”
“You wanted to kill him,” Emma corrected with confidence, smiling as she recalled his fierce expression. “It was the mistletoe.”
“Mistletoe, hell! He made damn sure I was looking your way when he grabbed you and planted one on you.”
“You think you’re the only man allowed to kiss me?” She leaned back far enough to meet his eyes. The hallway they were in was gloomy, but the small window in the door leading to where the party was emitted enough light so she was able to see him clearly.
He seemed to hesitate, unsure of himself. “After how I treated you that morning, do I have that right?”
He had that right and more as far as Emma was concerned. “What are you doing, Mike?” Lonely weeks had passed since they’d last seen each other. There’d been no phone calls, nothing. “Is this a case of just running into each other at a social event?”
The look of guilt on his face was Emma’s answer but he quickly smoothed it over by saying, “If it hadn’t happened tonight I promise you it would have tomorrow. I’d made up my mind to call you.”
Her heart skipped a beat at his admission but she carefully schooled her expression so as not to give it away. “Why?”
“I love you,” he said without hesitation, as if those three little words explained everything.
Emma wasn’t about to assume anything. “You’ve said that before,” she reminded him, ignoring the thrill his words produced. “And the last time you brought me home and just walked away.”
“I’m not going to walk away this time, honey.” Mike’s tone was rough, filled with strong conviction. “I can’t.”
Emma gasped as a seed of suspicion began to take root in her mind. “What do you mean, can’t?” Had he been talking to Amanda? “What about your plans?”
PASSIONATE ENCOUNTERS Page 20
