Micah looked at Jerry. ‘We both missed it.’
‘Yeah, but at least you’ve been gone for ten years. This was all happening under my nose.’
‘The divorce kept you pretty occupied, big brother,’ Beth said.
Micah’s hand tensed in mine. I think it was her calling him big brother. I wondered if that was a nickname she’d only used for him once? ‘I’m sorry that you and Kelsey didn’t work out.’
‘You never liked her,’ Jerry said.
‘I wouldn’t say never, but by the time you were in college, no. I didn’t like her.’
‘Why didn’t you like her?’ he asked.
‘It’s old news,’ Micah said, ‘and you divorced her, so it doesn’t matter.’
Jerry looked down at his clasped hands, let out a long breath, and asked, ‘Did she try to sleep with you?’
Micah’s hand tensed in mine again, though nothing else showed his sudden tension. ‘It was a long time ago.’
Jerry shook his head. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Mike?’
‘You were in love with her, and I didn’t think she’d approach anyone else. She was a little drunk and it happens.’
‘No,’ Jerry said, ‘even a little drunk, your fiancée does not proposition your brother.’
‘I agree with Jerry,’ I said.
‘You asked me like I wasn’t the only one she tried to sleep with; I honestly thought that she wouldn’t try for anyone else.’
‘Why?’ Jerry asked.
Micah hesitated. ‘She had a particular … interest, um …’
‘Fetish, you mean,’ Jerry said.
Micah nodded. ‘Yes.’
Nathaniel and I must have looked puzzled, because Jerry said, ‘Everyone else knows that Kelsey was a fur-fucker, beastlover, whatever.’
‘She approached you after you became a wereleopard?’ I said.
Micah nodded. ‘I honestly thought it was just a onetime fantasy and when I said no, she’d let it go.’
‘Nope,’ Jerry said, ‘she’s actually living with the local werewolf pack and getting all the furry attention she wants.’
‘I’m sorry, little brother,’ Micah said.
Jerry nodded, staring at his hands. ‘I can’t compete with … you know how it is better than I do. Kelsey said no human man could compare.’
‘I’m surprised she didn’t ask you to join the team,’ I said.
‘She did, but by that time I knew that even if I were a shapeshifter my attentions would never be enough. There’s something broken inside her that isn’t fixable.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Nathaniel said.
Jerry looked at him and at him holding hands with both of us. ‘It really bothered me when I found out that Dad was a “couple” with Mom and Ty. I didn’t like the idea of my dad sharing a bed with another man.’
‘Jerry,’ Bea said, as if he’d said something rude.
‘Are you ashamed of it?’ he asked.
‘No,’ she said.
Jerry looked at Ty.
Ty said, ‘No.’
‘Then it bothered me when I realized you all shared a bed.’ He looked at us again. ‘How long have you three been … together?’
‘Almost three years,’ Micah said.
‘Mom, Dad, and Ty have been together for double that. I’m the only one who tried for traditional, and by two years in I knew it wasn’t going to work. Maybe I need to find a nice couple to settle down with.’
‘Janet is a good person,’ Beth said.
‘I thought Kelsey was a good person, too.’
‘Kelsey always noticed other men at parties and stuff.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Jerry asked.
‘Because I was just a kid and I didn’t understand what I was seeing. Now, I’d say something.’
‘I’m sorry, it’s just I feel stupid about Kelsey and about not seeing what was right in front of me with Dad and Mom and Ty.’
‘I didn’t know you had any doubts about marrying Janet,’ Bea said.
‘I don’t, and then I think how oblivious I’ve been and I wonder what I’m missing this time.’
‘I look forward to meeting Janet,’ Micah said.
Jerry nodded. ‘Let me know if she tries to sleep with you, okay?’
‘It won’t happen this time,’ he said.
Jerry just looked at him.
‘But I promise, I’ll tell you if it does.’
Jerry looked at Nathaniel. ‘You, too, pretty boy.’
Nathaniel smiled, and then looked uncomfortable and finally just said, ‘I’ll tell Micah and Anita.’
‘We’ll tell you,’ I said.
‘And I don’t think I like you calling Nathaniel pretty boy,’ Micah said. ‘It sounds dismissive, and he’s too important to me for that.’
Jerry spread his hands wide. ‘Sorry, it’s just he is pretty, and I’m having a moment of insecurity, okay?’
‘My men, they do have that effect on people,’ I said. I tried to make a joke of it.
Jerry wasn’t really in the mood for jokes, apparently, because he said, ‘I’d just make a blanket request that if Janet tries to hit on any of your guys, someone tells me.’ He was looking behind me.
I looked back at the guards who were sitting at the counter. I tried to see them from Jerry’s point of view. They were all taller, more muscled, and more obviously dangerous. He was as good-looking as Bram or Ares, but Dev and Nicky, not really. Nicky wasn’t much ahead of them, but Dev, he was almost as beautiful as Nathaniel and Micah. The real difference was that Dev was a more masculine beauty and my main sweeties were closer to the androgynous and even feminine-beauty side.
‘Don’t feel bad, Jerry; sometimes it makes me feel insecure to date them.’
He frowned at me. ‘Why?’
‘I’ve broken the girl rule,’ I said.
‘What rule?’
‘Never date anyone prettier than you are.’
Jerry looked at me, still frowning. He glanced at Micah. ‘Is she teasing me?’
Micah shook his head. ‘No.’
‘If you think my brother and even Lavender Eyes here are prettier than you are, then you are not looking in the same mirror that I am.’
It was my turn to frown.
‘Just say it, Jerry; Anita won’t get it any other way.’
‘Understand what?’
‘You are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. The look on your face says you don’t know that.’
‘Don’t believe it,’ I said.
‘Why not?’
I shrugged. ‘My childhood trauma can wait for another day. Didn’t someone mention food?’
‘You’re changing the subject,’ Jerry said. ‘I’ve never met a woman who wanted to change the subject after you’d called her beautiful.’
‘Anita isn’t like any other woman I’ve ever met,’ Micah said, and kissed my cheek. I turned so he could kiss me on the lips and so I could kiss him back.
Bea beamed at us. ‘When can I expect grandchildren?’
‘I can’t have children,’ Micah said. He didn’t explain that he’d had himself fixed because Chimera had enjoyed getting the female shapeshifters pregnant and then watching them lose the babies when they shapeshifted. Without serious and hard-to-find help, no female wereanimal could carry beyond a couple of months. The change was too violent for the body to hold on to a fetus. Micah hadn’t wanted to cause such pain and he’d never expected to be rescued from Chimera, not until he met me.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Bea said. She smiled gently at her son and then turned the smile on Nathaniel. ‘Any children you have with Nathaniel and Anita would be yours just like all of our kids are both Ty’s and Rush’s. I still want grandchildren no matter who the bio-dad is,’ she said.
Nathaniel looked startled, and then looked to Micah, who said, ‘I agree with my mom.’
Nathaniel smiled and looked so happy, but … ‘I am not planning on getting pregnant,’ I said.
‘Career first,�
�� Bea said. ‘I understand.’
‘No, my career isn’t really the point. I’m just not the maternal type.’
‘You don’t want to have children?’ Bea asked.
‘Not really.’
‘If I were the girl, we’d already be pregnant,’ Nathaniel said. ‘I’m more domestic and I love kids.’
I gave him a dirty look.
Micah shook his head and smiled. ‘Let’s eat dinner before we have to go back to the hospital and before Anita gets too uncomfortable.’
‘Okay,’ Bea said, ‘everyone’s brought so much food we could feed a small army.’ She got briskly to her feet, as if she had a plan. She was going to either drop the subject as asked, or make sure I was around as many small, cute children as possible, as if there were a pheromone in their tiny bodies that would turn on my biological clock. I’d seen Frost and Fen; they were cute, but they weren’t that cute.
20
Three hours later we were back in the hospital and Micah’s dad was awake. He raised his one good hand outside the blanket and Micah took it, holding his father’s arm against his chest as if clasping him to his heart.
‘Mike,’ he said in a voice that was still thick with the last of the drugs they’d cleared out of his system so he could talk to his son.
‘Dad, I’m so sorry.’
‘For what?’
‘You know I love you, Mom, Beth, Jerry … and all the kids.’
A look passed over his dad’s face. He blinked the eyes that were so much Micah’s except they were brown, the color Micah had started with. ‘You know?’
Micah nodded. ‘Once I saw Frost, Mom and Ty had to tell me.’
His dad smiled; it was a good one full of love and happiness, even here and now. ‘We didn’t plan on her looking so much like my side of the family.’
Micah hugged his father’s arm tighter to him, nodding a little too rapidly as if he didn’t trust his voice. Nathaniel and I stood in the corner of the room holding hands. We’d have waited outside except that Micah wanted us inside. His mom had been incredibly brave and waited in the hallway.
‘You aren’t upset about your mom and Ty and …’ He swallowed hard, closed his eyes, and let out a shaky breath. ‘Everything.’
‘No, not at all.’
‘Jerry’s still mad.’
‘Jerry’s always mad,’ Micah said.
His father smiled and gave a little nod, but a spasm passed over his face. The price of this talk was the painkillers being almost out of his system.
‘Let me get the nurse; you’re hurting.’
He swallowed hard again and let out another shaky breath. ‘The painkillers put me out, and I don’t want to miss this.’
‘Okay,’ Micah said. His voice was a little thick, but he wasn’t crying. He would be strong for his dad, because that was who Micah was, what he was. Nathaniel squeezed my hand hard. I glanced up and saw his eyes shining with unshed tears. I would not cry, not here, not now, not in front of Rush Callahan. It might be the only time I met Micah’s dad; I would not do it in tears. I wouldn’t, damn it.
‘Who’s this?’ he asked, and he was looking at us.
‘This is Anita and Nathaniel.’
We moved toward the bed, still hand in hand.
‘Marshal Anita Blake,’ his dad said.
‘Yes,’ I said.
Those brown eyes so like Micah’s moved to look at Nathaniel. He had a small frown between his eyes, as if he was thinking too hard or trying to think of a way to say something.
Micah unwrapped one hand from his father’s arm and held it out to us. I took his hand and drew Nathaniel with me. Micah said, ‘The three of us have been living together for almost three years.’ He smiled, gave a small laugh, and said, ‘I thought you and Mom wouldn’t approve of me being with Nathaniel.’
His dad laughed, but it ended in another spasm that moved more of his body, as if he were having trouble not writhing with the pain.
He let go of my hand to reach for the call button. ‘Let me get the nurse, Dad.’
‘No,’ and he gripped Micah’s hand hard enough to cord muscle along his forearm. He looked up at his son with a fierceness on his face, almost rage. ‘No,’ he said again.
‘Okay, okay,’ Micah said. He put his hand back on his father’s arm so that he was touching him as much as he could.
‘How did you find out I was here?’ his father asked.
‘Mom called Anita.’
Rush looked at me, and there was a look; it was a cop look. That look that hides most emotions but weighs you, measures you, and sees more than most people understand. ‘She appealed woman to woman,’ he said.
‘Yes,’ I said.
He smiled. ‘I’ve read up on you, Marshal. How’d appealing to your feminine side go?’
I smiled. ‘I did what she wanted. I got Micah here.’
He smiled a little more. ‘You did. Thank you.’
‘You are welcome; I just wish it weren’t under these circumstances, sir.’
‘Me, too, and no need to “sir” me. I’m Rush.’
‘Then no need to “Marshal” me,’ I said.
He took another breath, and the effort to keep it even was visible. ‘Anita, then.’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘And Nathaniel,’ he said.
‘Yes, sir,’ Nathaniel said.
‘Call me Rush.’
‘Rush,’ Nathaniel said, and held harder to my hand.
‘Mom said that you knew why I had been so horrible to all of you ten years ago.’
Rush moved his eyes back to his son. ‘I saw some of the photos of what Chimera had done to other families. I understood then why you’d done it.’
I wanted to ask a question so badly, but this wasn’t my Hallmark moment. I must have made some small movement, because Rush looked at me. ‘Ask,’ he said.
‘What pictures?’
‘He slaughtered and tortured his way across the country before his group got to St Louis. The Feds had a file on the crimes; they just didn’t know who, or what, was doing it for a long time.’ His body shuddered on the bed, and he gripped Micah’s hand hard, not out of affection, but the way a woman in labor will hold on.
In a voice that was breathless with pain, Rush said, ‘No nurse, not yet.’
‘I don’t want to use your time talking police work,’ I said.
‘You want to know why someone from the federal branch showed me the file.’ His voice was recovering its strength, but the strain still showed on his face.
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ Micah said.
He looked up at both of us, and again that cop look crossed his face. He looked at me. The force of personality in his eyes was intense, and I prayed that I’d get a chance to see him whole and well. ‘Does the name Van Cleef mean anything to you, Anita?’
I blinked and fought to keep my own cop face in place. Van Cleef was the name of one of the people who had helped train Edward, Marshal Ted Forrester, in covert operations after the regular military had trained him in special ops. Two other men that I knew had been associated with him: Bernardo Spotted-Horse and Otto Jeffries. They were both marshals, too, all of the preternatural branch just like me. I knew that Edward had been a professional assassin for years and that Ted Forrester was his Clark Kent disguise. Otto Jeffries’s real name was Olaf, and when he wasn’t training our military in dangerous things or being a mercenary in other countries, he had a hobby. He was a serial killer, but he only indulged when he wasn’t on an assignment, so the government seemed determined to keep him too busy to play.
I honestly didn’t know how much the government knew about Edward and Olaf’s reality, but Van Cleef had helped train all three of them and some other men who the four of us had met about four years ago. The other men had died. We hadn’t.
I’d been quiet too long, because Rush said, ‘I see that it does.’
‘What does the name mean to you?’ I asked.
Micah was looking from on
e to the other of us, because he didn’t know. I hadn’t met him when I’d last played with Van Cleef’s people. Edward, Olaf, and Bernardo didn’t count. Edward was one of my best friends. Bernardo was a work friend. Olaf had a crush on me, because I’d hunted vampires with him, cut people up, killed with him, and he’d thought it was foreplay. The last time we worked together, Olaf had been attacked by a werelion and tested positive for lycanthropy. He’d vanished after that, and so had a female doctor. We’d assumed he took the woman and indulged his hobby. He’d written me a note and basically said he was going to stay away from me until he was sure I wouldn’t make him a pet cat like I had Nicky. They had known each other professionally before I tamed Nicky.
‘I’ve worked with Van Cleef’s people,’ Rush said.
I blinked, fought to keep my face empty, and tried to process that Micah’s dad knew people as dangerous as I did.
‘Why did they show you the file, and why did they have a file on Chimera and his people?’
‘The military has been interested in trying to harness tame shapeshifters for a long time. Chimera interested them.’
‘Did the military know what he was doing?’ Micah asked.
‘Not at first. They were organizing a hunt for him and his people about the time he, and you, got to St Louis. They were going to try to capture him. His DNA on his victims showed he was a panwere. They wanted to study him.’
‘Study him,’ Micah said; his voice held disbelief and the beginnings of anger.
‘I didn’t know until this year.’ He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. Sweat was beginning to bead on his forehead. ‘Anita, you interest them.’
‘Because I’m a panwere, sort of,’ I said.
He opened his eyes. ‘The fact that you don’t change shape makes them even more interested in you.’
‘Are you warning us?’ Micah asked.
‘They may come to you and try to blackmail you into helping them.’
‘Blackmail me with what?’ I asked.
‘Chimera and his people arrived in St Louis, we know that, but they never left.’
He was looking very steadily at me. I fought to keep as careful a face as I’d shown anyone in a long time. ‘What do you want me to say?’ I asked.
‘Men like Chimera, groups like his, don’t just vanish, Anita. But it was your bloodwork hitting the government grapevine that clinched it.’
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