Carol got up and headed into the guest room, mumbling so Bill could hear. “Darn fool, he’s going to get himself killed.”
Bill hollered, “I’m not that stupid.”
Carol marched back in and plopped down on the couch. “Listen to me, Mr. Columbia Graduate. If you aren’t careful, you’ll tear those stitches and ram that car of yours into someone or something at seventy miles per hour.”
Bill took a sip of tea and put it down. “Well, Joshua said if I didn’t find him soon, I could be in real danger. Besides, if Harold Brown is my brother, these guys could come back for me. I need to try and figure out what’s going on.”
“Why not just go away for a little while and rest?”
Bill sat quietly for a moment and focused his attention on the golfer teeing off. Then he said, “I might do that. John has wanted me to take a trip with him to the mountain house he and Rhonda had built.”
“Oh, really?” replied Carol, “I didn’t know you two had become buddies.”
“Well, when you set up a tax-free offshore retirement fund, some people appreciate the effort. I’m not sure it’s all about the money, though. He’s been bugging me to get back into church ever since I’ve met him.”
Carol answered, “That doesn’t sound like bad advice.”
Bill rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Anyway, maybe we can go up there.”
“When you say we, I hope you’re not including me on your vacation.”
Bill’s eyes widened. “What? I thought you’d want to come.”
Carol reached over and grabbed Bill’s hand. “I do. I want to be here to help you through this, but I need to get back to the office before too long. Besides, you’ll have John, and who’ll tell you what’s happening at the office if I’m not there?”
Bill took his hand back, “Okay. I’ll call John in a minute. First, I need to call the director of the orphanage. Adam and I go back to my childhood. If anyone knows about this Joshua, it’s him.”
“Don’t get up.”
“Thanks.” Responded Bill.
Carol brought Bill the phone and headed in the direction of her room. Bill muted the television and dialed the number to the North Carolina Children’s Home and asked to speak to Dr. Adam Murray. Bill began to feel a little drowsy when an old but familiar voice grabbed his attention.
“Billy, how are you?”
Bill cleared his throat, “It’s Bill, now. I’m good, Dr. Murray. How are you?”
“Please, call me Adam. It’s been a long time.”
Bill replied, “It has been. I was thinking of dropping by tomorrow, would that be alright?”
“How long will you be in the area?”
Bill answered, “Oh, it’s just a short hello. I’ve had some strange dreams as of late, and I’d like to talk to you about them.”
Adams’s voice seemed to tense up, “Dreams, what sort of dreams.”
Bill paused.
Adam asked, “Are you still there?”
“Yes. Just memories, I think, of the orphanage. I wanted to check some things out.”
Adam asked, “Are you close by? A visit seems like a lot of trouble for some dreams. Perhaps you could tell me about them now.”
Bill responded slowly, “I’m in the area for a short time. I thought it was a good excuse to say hello.”
Adam’s perked up. “Wonderful. I hope I can talk you into staying longer. Do you know when you’ll be here?”
“No. Sometime in the afternoon. I hope that’s alright.”
Adam replied, “Certainly, my boy. I look forward to seeing you.”
Bill hung up, quietly lowered his recliner, and grunted as he rose from the chair. He snuck into his master bathroom, and eased the door close. After washing his hands, he started to exit when he spied Carol. She blocked his only egress from the bedroom.
“Uh oh, I’m busted,” joked Bill.
“Should you be standing by yourself?”
“Carol, you need to relax. If I need help, I’ll holler, yell or scream. Lori doesn’t baby me this much.”
At the sound of his own words, darkness crossed over Bill’s face. He looked down at the floor, pushed his way past Carol, and sat back down in his chair.
Carol walked up, squeezed his arm, and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Bill looked up at her, “I’m the one who should be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I appreciate your concern. I just hadn’t thought about the whole affair while we were talking. My comment brought everything back.”
“Are you doing alright?”
“I’ll be okay. I just can’t believe I forgot about Lori for a moment. I guess I was too focused on my phone call.”
“With John?” asked Carol.
“No, Adam at the orphanage.”
Carol moved back to the couch and leaned towards Bill, “What did he say.”
Bill’s brow furrowed, “Nothing exactly. It was more the way he said things. I mentioned I wanted to visit, that I had had some weird dreams. After that, it felt like he was trying to nail down where I was. He wanted to know if I was nearby, how long I would be staying, the exact time of my arrival tomorrow.”
Carol sat back, “That just sounds like an old friend who’s hoping to spend some time with you.”
“Maybe. I guess my talk with Cindy at the hospital has me looking over my shoulder. Dr. Adam would never do anything to hurt me. After all, he was the one who got me into the Columbia Business School. I’m his poster child for other children.”
Carol stood up, “Well, I’m going to grab a nap if I’m not needed right now. Why don’t you call John? I think you could use a vacation.”
“Good idea.”
Carol left, and Bill dialed the number.
“How’s my favorite superhero?”
Bill replied, annoyed, “I’m no hero, much less super.”
“Carol told me some of what happened. I’m just trying to cheer you up.”
“Do me a favor, don’t try so hard.”
John’s voice got softer, “I know you feel like you failed Lori and your baby, but do me a favor, think about what I’m going to tell you.
“I know it doesn’t seem like much, but if you hadn’t done what you did, everyone could be dead. You, Carol, everybody. I hate that Lori was killed, but I’m thankful you survived, and the other worker’s families are grateful for your actions.”
Bill acquiesced, “Thanks. Hey, any chance the two of us can go to the mountain house? Things are getting weirder, and I need to get out of here.”
“Weirder than the shooting?”
“Yea. I’d rather talk up there instead of on the phone.”
John said, “We can leave tonight if you’re up for it.”
“Well, that’s tempting, but I’m driving up to Thomasville tomorrow.”
“Wow, I didn’t think you’d heal up that fast.”
“Oh, I didn’t say I wasn’t hurting. I need to visit the orphanage. I have questions about why I went crazy and killed those men, and I think the orphanage may hold some answers.”
John said, “The press said the police have closed the investigation and are considering this a robbery gone bad.”
Bill was quiet for just a moment. “Well, if that’s what the press is reporting, go with what they are telling you. I haven’t heard anything from law enforcement.”
John replied, “That seems strange.”
“Yea, well, I’ve been sort of doped up the past twenty-four hours. Speaking of, my pain medicine is kicking in, and I’m feeling pretty tired. I need to get some rest before tomorrow’s little drive. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
John answered, “Alright, see you then, Bud.”
Bill hung up the phone. He quietly got out of his chair and held his side as he slowly made his way back to his bedroom, closed the door, and turned on the light. Bill noticed the pregnancy test on Lori’s side of the bed. He turned the light off, climbed into his bed, buried his face in his satin pillow, and cried himself to sl
eep.
Chapter 7
Bill gently massaged his side near the bullet wound. He jerked and gasped for a moment. An aged, dark mahogany desk sat empty in front of him. Although he was a grown man, he still felt like a little boy, called to the administrator’s office for something he had done.
He recalled putting a dead mouse in the office of the cook and smiled. The poor woman hated mice, and the scene she caused after sitting on one was the talk of the orphanage for weeks. It had been worth the month-long kitchen duty after Bill was found to be the source of her consternation.
The old wooden floors and oak paneling in Adam’s office looked darker. Despite its clean appearance, the room smelled musty, mustier than Bill remembered. He stood up and walked over to the large double-pane windows and looked out at some of the children playing in the cold fall air. The long shadows from the trees seemed to envelop the light. The children ignored the darkness and squealed with delight as they enjoyed a game of duck, duck goose.
A door opened, and Bill turned to find Dr. Adam Murray. His black hair was now mostly gray and thinner. He was shorter than Bill remembered. The two men approached one another, embraced, and Bill quickly gasped.
They released, and Adam smacked Bill on the shoulders. “Look at you. What a fine man you’ve become.”
Bill regained his breath, “You haven’t aged so bad yourself.”
Adam started towards his desk and pointed Bill to the chair he previously sat in, “Oh, don’t let the innocence going on outside fool you. It gets harder and harder to keep up with this lot. I tell you, Bill, I don’t know if the kids are more rambunctious or if I’m getting older.”
“Maybe a little of both.”
Adam chuckled, “Indeed. So, tell me, what have you been up to?”
“I was on Wall Street for a while.”
Adam nodded, “Yes. Tell me, why did you leave? I thought that was the dream for every investor.”
Bill shrugged, “Yea, well, it isn’t as romantic as the movies make it out to be. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time, but the pressures get to everybody. You know the old saying, big risk, and big reward. Sadly, one can only handle the stress of big risks for so long.”
“You showed a lot of wisdom on knowing when to leave.”
Bill looked up at the old copper stamped ceiling, “Perhaps. I took a job down here at Clark and Company.”
Adam said nothing.
Bill looked at Adam, “What?”
Adam asked quietly, “That was you? You’re the man who saved those office workers?”
Tears formed and Bill’s vision blurred.
Adam continued, “The news reported the man had lost his fiancée and unborn child in the attack. I’m so sorry.”
Tears began to flow from Bill’s eyes before he could stop himself. He took a deep breath and then spoke. “I wanted to save her, but I couldn’t.”
“But you saved so many. If you hadn’t been there, they might all be dead.”
Bill stood up and began to pace behind the chair.
He wiped the tears from his cheeks and said, “That’s why I’m here. So many things happened that day. I changed, and I don’t know what I’ve become.”
“Anyone would change after such an event. I hope you’re getting counseling.”
Bill stopped, put his hands on the back of the chair, and leaned towards Adam, “That’s not what I mean. I changed during the attack. I became enraged. Physically, psychologically. My vision turned crimson. It was almost like I could see the blood running through my eyes. I could hear my heartbeat so loud that I barely heard the man threatening me.”
Bill lifted his shirt to show Adam his bandage. “The bullet that did this. I liked the pain; it was almost euphoric. I wanted them to shoot me again. And then I attacked the man that killed Lori, my fiancée. I beat his head in until there was nothing left. It wasn’t just pure anger; it was fun like the kids enjoy playing outside.”
Bill lowered his shirt, and Adam leaned forward and pointed to the chair, “Please, sit down. I have a few things to tell you.”
Bill interrupted Adam as he sat down. “I’m not done.”
“Go ahead.”
“Afterwards. I started having weird dreams. At first, I just thought it was about losing Lori because she was killed in my dreams. But then, I met people I remember nothing about. A brother, and a man named Joshua. Joshua told me if I didn’t find him immediately, I was in great danger.”
Adam asked, “Did Joshua say why?”
Bill paused. Small beads of sweat began to form on Adam’s forehead. Bill pressed, “What do you know? Who was Joshua, and do I have a brother?”
Adam walked to the front of his desk, and sat on the corner. He crossed his arms like he used to do when he had bad news to give Bill. Bill sat back down.
“You do have a brother.”
“So the killer was right.”
“Excuse me? What did the man tell you?”
Bill answered, “He said he was looking for Harold Brown. I told him I didn’t have a brother.”
Adam dropped his arms to his side, “What did this man look like?”
“Why?”
Adam hurried back around his desk and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from a drawer. “Please, I’ll explain in a moment.”
Bill answered, “It’s like I told Cindy from the FBI, they all wore masks. He had a British accent. That’s all I can really say.”
Adam nodded and continued, “Were any of the men smoking a cigar?”
“What? No.”
“Are you sure?”
Bill’s voice went up an octave, “I would remember a guy in a ski mask smoking a cigar. What’s going on?”
Adam put down his writing implements. “Your brother and Joshua are in danger.”
Bill asked, “Is that why I don’t remember them?”
Adam took a long breath and let it out. His shoulders lowered. “In a manner of speaking. Harold Brown is your half-brother. You both share the same mother. She allowed Harold to be put up for adoption.”
“Why?”
Adam answered, “I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say. Please trust me when I tell you that your brother and his parents tried to adopt you. It got to the point that Joshua and I had to intervene for fear your birth mother’s family would take you from us. You were safer here than with that clan.”
“You mean you kept me from my forever family, my real family?”
Adam shook his head, “No. In a manner of speaking, I mean, but not every family is a family you want to be a part of. They were trouble. There were cases of incest, rape, and beatings within the extended family, and we wanted to protect you from that. Your mother demanded we protect you.”
“Why couldn’t she take care of me?”
Adam spoke softly, “Your mother was a special lady, but she had been abused. Her mind was not right, and she knew she couldn’t take care of you.”
Bill looked down at the floor and started to count the number of knots in the wood.
Adam continued, “Joshua was your psychiatrist.”
Bill looked up and asked, “Why don’t I remember him?”
“Please, have patience. I’ll tell you everything I know.
“You were a furious young man. Well, I should say you could be. Some of the staff thought you were possessed. When you got angry, your voice would deepen, and your body would exhibit almost superhuman strength. Everything came to a head the day an older bully named Bobby was beating you up outside. You became incensed and broke his arm.
“We knew we had to try something drastic before you ended up in jail. Joshua built a world in your mind through hypnotherapy. It was a Viking world because you were always fascinated with their stories. Your mother and her family are from Denmark, so we thought that would make a strong connection in your mind. Joshua called your angry side the Berserker, like the warriors of old. Over time he helped you see you didn’t need to fight a Berserker war, and the two of you locked the beast
away in your mind.”
Bill’s forehead creased, and his voice rose, “Then why don’t I remember any of this?”
Adam answered, “Joshua was called away to help with Harold. Your brother was worse than you, and his parents begged him to come and help. Joshua thought he would do for Harold what he did for you and would be back in a year. Unfortunately, a year turned to two years, then three, and then we both knew he would not be coming back.
“Rather than try and explain how Joshua had left you for your half-brother, Joshua talked me into compartmentalizing that memory into your subconscious. He was concerned that losing both him and your brother might cause you to relapse to your violent side.”
Bill’s fingers drummed against the chair’s armrest. “So, I was close to Joshua?”
“He was like a father to you.”
Bill’s breathing began to become shallower, quicker. His voice deepened slightly, “You mean, you both hid away all my good memories because you thought no memories were better?”
Adam’s voice was hesitant, “We thought we were doing what was best.”
Bill’s voice rose in volume, “Best?”
Bill grabbed the armrests and tore them from the seat. He dropped them and then buried his head in his hands and wept. In a few seconds, he could feel Adam rubbing his back.
Adam spoke softly, “I’m so sorry, we didn’t know this would happen.”
Bill’s muffled voice asked, “What am I?”
Adam replied confidently, “You’re still the same man.”
“Am I? I just tore apart your chair.”
“Chairs can be replaced.”
Bill’s voice was urgent, “But what if I didn’t stop at the furniture? What about Joshua’s warning?”
Adam returned to his desk and began writing, “I’ll contact Joshua and see what he tells me.”
“So, you know where he is?”
“I know how to contact him.”
“Then you know where he is?”
Adam looked Bill in the eye, “No.”
“I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you know?”
“Bill, the man after Joshua, and Harold is extremely dangerous. If I knew where they were, that could put the orphanage and me in danger.”
Bill and the Sting of Death Page 4
