He turned to pull her into his arms where he could rest his chin on her head. They sat in silence for a long while, drawing strength from their closeness until Laura said, “She’s strong, Taylor, like her mother.”
“Annie wasn’t that strong, Laura. She just never let anyone see if something bothered her. I always knew that someday Meg would want to know about him. I’ve saved this box of her mother’s for her thinking that when the time came, I’d have it for her and I’d be there for her. She just wasn’t supposed to find out this way…”
“But she knows now, so it’s probably time to take her that box. You’ll go to her?”
He held her in silence then said, “What about you, Laura? What about what all this must have brought up for you?”
“Cary ceased having the power to hurt me the day I bluffed him into signing away his rights to Meg. But I don’t want her to know what he did to me. If she’s so devastated over what he did to that boy’s aunt, how will she feel if she finds out her father raped me, too? We can’t add that to her burden.”
“Secrets have a way of coming out, Laura. Look at how this one did. Can we risk not telling her the whole truth?”
Laura turned to face him. “No one will ever tell her. You and I, Beth and my lawyer, are the only ones who know. This secret will stay safe. But I think it’s time for you to go to her and give her the rest of it. Then maybe she can get on with her life.”
He nodded silently then pulled her close once again. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms as the sun climbed over the city.
Chapter 17
Meg woke with a feeling of peace. The villa always had that effect on her. There was a serenity about the old stones that seemed to seep into her soul whenever she came. Today, for the first time since that horrible day in Belfast, she felt like she might survive all of it. A few days here to get herself centered and she’d head home to New York.
The first thing she was going to do was go for a swim. The tenants of the main house knew she was here and she had asked permission to use the pool. She’d always loved the water and swimming was the only form of exercise she could tolerate.
She swam for half-an-hour. By the time she was finished, the sun was up and the heat of the day was moving in. And she was starving. There were fresh eggs and fruit in the refrigerator and she hurried back to the guesthouse.
As she came around the curve of the path that separated the guesthouse from the main house, she was surprised to see someone sitting on her doorstep. The figure was in shadow and she cautiously slowed down as it began to move.
“Morning, Munchkin,” Taylor said as he stepped into the light.
“Taylor!” Meg ran the few steps between them and threw herself in his arms. “Where did you come from? How? I can’t believe you’re here!”
Taylor laughed. “And I can’t believe I’m standing here holding you while you’re soaking wet.”
She took a step back but he still held her hands. “How are you, Meg?”
“Let’s not talk about it right now, Taylor. In a little while, I promise. Right now I just want to hear all the news from home.”
She went to shower as Taylor cut up fruit and made omelets for them both. By the time she came back into the kitchen, breakfast was ready.
* * *
When they finished eating, Taylor asked, “What now, Meg?”
“I don’t know, Taylor. Everything is so confused right now. Maybe it’s not too late to go to Med School in New York.”
“Why, Meg? There are planes between New York and California all the time.”
“I…I don’t know, Taylor. A part of me really doesn’t want to be that far away from family right now.”
“You have the summer to think it over. I guess it couldn’t hurt to go ahead and apply in New York. It may be too late, you know.”
“I know and that’s part of the problem.”
“There’s more, Meg. Your mother left a box for you. She wanted you to have it when the time came that you’d want to know more about him. I brought it with me.”
Meg was silent. “I guess I should get all the bad news at once and get it out of the way. Maybe then I can get on with things.” As Taylor started to stand she held out her hand to stop him. “Later, Taylor. Right now, I just want to spend some time with you. Let’s walk down to the village and see what’s changed.”
“You can’t put this off forever, Meg.”
“I know and I promise I’ll look at it later. Please…”
“Let me change my shoes, then we’ll go.”
* * *
They had a wonderful morning together and renewed some old friendships with people they had known before. Mother Caterina was particularly glad to see them when they stopped by the Convent school that Meg and Betta had attended. She had to be caught up on all the news and was reluctant to let them go. “You were always one of the special ones, Megan, you and Betta. It was as if Heaven realized a mistake had been made in sending you to different families and gave you a new one where you could be sisters in more than your hearts.”
The village was shutting down for the afternoon siesta by the time they started back to the villa. Taylor was beginning to feel a little jet-lagged and told her he was going to settle in for a nap when they got back.
The cool and quiet of the old stones welcomed them home. As Taylor started for his room, Meg stopped him. “The box, Taylor. I might as well look at it now.”
He didn’t argue with her but went to his room and came back holding a cherrywood box. Meg remembered it being on her mother’s dressing table. It had held her jewelry and Meg had always been allowed to play with the contents whenever she’d had to stay home sick. She smiled at the memory, but her hands were shaking as she reached out to take it from Taylor.
“Meg? Would you like me to stay with you?”
“No, Taylor. This is something I think I have to do on my own. I’ll probably have questions later…will you answer them for me?”
“If I can.” He walked to the door then turned back. “Meg…please remember your mother loved you with all her heart. And so do I.” He left her behind with the ghosts she would find, wishing that he could protect her from the past.
* * *
Meg sat back in the chair, her hands stroking the wood. Now that she had it, she wasn’t sure she really wanted to open it. So many secrets. So many memories. So much she might not want to know. With trembling fingers she opened the box.
A ghostly scent she recognized was there for a moment, then gone—her mother’s cologne—bringing Annie back to her. Meg felt the pain all over again of losing her mother long before either of them was ready for her to go.
On top of the contents in the box was a letter addressed to Meg in the handwriting she’d known so well. Beneath it she could see the edges of photographs and a glint of gold, but she set it all aside and opened the letter.
My darling Megan,
I knew the day would come that you would want answers about your father. Everything I know about him is in this box. It’s not very much, I realize, but Cary was like that. I came to realize later that he was a chameleon, taking on the colors he wanted or needed at the time, but he never let me, or anyone else, see anything real.
We married in haste, Meg. I was hopelessly in love with him and thought he was perfect. He was gorgeous—his eyes that same fathomless blue as yours; his hair just as black as yours is. When he looked at me, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. That Cary Edwards would look at me! He could have had his pick of girls. And there were a lot to choose from in our little world of the theatre, but he chose me. I was mesmerized by his style, his charm, and his good looks. I never saw that, beyond the veneer, he was hollow.
Oh, my Meg, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear! You wanted to hear he was wonderful and special and the prince you’ve always hoped he would be
.
But he wasn’t, Meg. I have to trust that you’re old enough now to hear the truth. I found out later that he’d married me because I was available and presentable. His boss believed in family and marrying me was Cary’s way of proving his worth. It didn’t take me long to figure that out. It didn’t take long for him to throw it at me in a rage—a rage that also allowed him to hit me. And it happened again and again. I was too proud to admit I’d made a terrible mistake, even to Taylor, who knew what was happening and begged me to leave.
Then there was you. My wonderful miracle. I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted you with all my heart. And I knew that Cary would have to come around; would have to be as happy as I was. But he wasn’t.
His boss had fired him that day. When he came home, he’d managed to work it around that it was my fault. When I told him I was pregnant, he laughed, said he wasn’t falling for that old trick. Once I’d convinced him it was true, he told me he didn’t want me, didn’t want a baby, and accused me of getting pregnant on purpose to trap him.
He beat me that night; tried to make me lose the sweet life I was carrying. I think he would have killed me but I managed to get away…and I ended up at Taylor’s. I knew he’d take us in.
Taylor is the one who took me to the hospital; who stayed with me while they assured me you were safe. He took me home with him and made it our home while I waited for your arrival.
Cary came after me a few days later. He was drunk and more abusive than ever, but Taylor stood by us. He broke Cary’s perfect nose and threw him out. Then helped me file for divorce and attended childbirth classes with me.
He was there when you were born, Meg, and he loved you from that first breath. He wanted me to stay and marry him but I didn’t love him—not in the way he deserved, not enough to risk another marriage. I’ve often wondered if that decision was a mistake. Maybe I should have married him for all our sakes.
I never saw Cary again, Meg. He never tried to find us—not that I knew of, anyway. It was just another part he’d played and he moved on to the next.
When I got sick, Meg, we had to find him to get him to give up his rights to you so that Taylor could adopt you. He made a show of wanting to meet you; wanting to be a father—but it was all show, darling. He never cared. When it came to a choice between you and his career, the career won and he moved on again. The last I heard of him, he was a rising star on TNC reporting out of Ireland.
Meg, my sweet girl, I wish you were not reading this alone. I wish you’d never felt a need to know. But I knew you would, someday, and you had a right to know. So here’s what little marked my marriage to Cary Edwards.
Meg, if you have some romantic fantasy about him, please believe me and what I’ve told you here. Don’t try to find him. He’ll only hurt you.
And, remember, I loved you. You were worth it all.
Mom
Meg silently folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. She closed her eyes and leaned against the back of the chair. Her mother had been so small, fine-boned and fragile. There was a picture in the box, a wedding picture of her parents. Her mother, young and beautiful, so obviously happy and in love, her gaze directed at her groom, not the camera. Her father, young, handsome, tall and strong, staring at the camera with barely disguised disgust—far from the happy bridegroom. To imagine him striking her mother! Tears crept from beneath her lashes as she thought of the mother she’d only had for twelve years, her mother so full of laughter and fun and love. What kind of monster was he that he was able to hurt someone so fine?
In her heart, Meg had always cherished the illusion that her father had just been confused and young and afraid of the responsibility of a wife and a child. She’d always thought that someday she’d meet him and he’d see what he’d given up. But Ireland had changed all that.
Meg leafed through the handful of pictures that remained in the box, pictures that told so little about who they had been, this dark man and his sunny bride. Their wedding license was there. Cary Edwards, no middle name. Anne Elizabeth Miller. Shadows of her past.
The final item in the box was a gold band. It had to have been her mother’s wedding ring. Meg, marveling at the small size of it, slipped it on one finger after another until it finally fit the ring finger of her right hand after she removed the Claddagh ring she still wore. She hadn’t left it behind or been able to bring herself to take it off. Now, with her mother’s ring to replace it, she could. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it so she place the Claddagh ring into the box that already held so many memories and secrets. It was a fitting place. She closed her eyes and let memories of her mother wash over her.
* * *
A soft knock at the doorway and the sound of Taylor’s voice woke her. The shadows had lengthened into early evening while she had slept.
“Meg? May I come in?
Closing the box, she said, “Of course, Taylor.” Her eyes filled with tears as she saw the concern in his.
“Are you all right, Meg?” he said as he crossed the room. Kneeling in front of her, he took her icy hands in his. “Meg, I’m here. Tell me what I can do to help?”
Taylor’s love for her shone in his eyes and she threw her arms around him and broke into heartbroken sobs.
Chapter 18
When she had quieted, Taylor rose and handed her a box of tissue then brought her a glass of water.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffled, her voice thick with tears.
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”
“I know this is hard for you, too. You loved her…”
“I did love her, Meg, and wanted her to marry me. But she was wiser than I was and saw that it would never have worked out. She needed a security I couldn’t give her.”
“She thought he could?”
“I don’t think she thought at all, Meg. She was in love with him and love has a tendency to obscure the truth sometimes.”
“Was he…” She took a deep breath before she continued. “Was she right? Was he as awful as she said? Did he truly hurt her?”
“I’m sorry, Meg, it’s true. Whatever his reasons were, he chose to use your mother as his target. She was too proud to admit it, to me or to anyone. That pride nearly cost her your life. But that was the price she refused to pay to him. She loved you from the moment she knew you were coming and she wasn’t going to stand by and let anyone hurt you.”
“Is there anything else? Where did he come from? Do I have another set of grandparents somewhere? Do I have cousins? Aunts? Uncles? Maybe I have siblings.”
“I don’t know. He never talked about where he was from. He told Laura once that his parents were dead and he had been an only child.”
“Laura knew him?”
“Before we were married. He was a reporter in Albuquerque. She knew him then.”
Taylor watched as she tried to process it all. “Meg, give yourself time to take this much in. Don’t try to deal with it all at once.”
Meg nodded slowly then replaced the pictures and the letter in the box along with Jamie’s ring, her mother’s still firmly on her finger. She closed it then stood and handed it to him. “Will you keep this for me, Taylor?” She leaned down and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “Thanks…for everything.”
* * *
Meg and Taylor talked until late that night. He answered her questions—when he had the answers. They remembered Annie with laughter and with tears. Finally, the subject came around to Ireland and all that had happened there.
“I love him, Taylor. Jamie’s everything I never even knew that I wanted.”
“Betta and your grandfather seem to think he felt the same about you.”
“I think he did, at least until the truth came out about my father.”
“You never gave him a chance to tell you what he thought, Meg. You ran away.”
“I couldn’t bear to hear what he thought. I don’t want to remember hateful words. I want to remember what we had for the fairy tale it was.”
“Maybe his words would have been the ones you wanted to hear. You can’t run away in case something will hurt. That’s not giving yourself a chance.”
“They’re a close family. Jamie’s father still carries a lot of hate and anger for what Cary did to his sister. If Jamie and I had gone on, where would I have fit in? How could I ever face Sha’leen again? How could I force Jamie into the position of choosing between them and me? It was better this way. Fast and clean. He’ll find someone else and I’ll go back to school.”
“And never give yourself a chance to love again?”
“Not a great track record in my family for love—except for you and Laura. I think I might have had a chance at that with Jamie…”
Her voice trailed off and Taylor pretended not to see the tears in her eyes even as his heart was breaking for her pain. Gruffly he cleared his throat and changed the subject. “I need to get back to New York soon, Meg. Are you going to stay on here for awhile?”
“No, I’d like to go home with you. Can we stop in Milan to spend a day with Betta first?”
“Great idea, Meg. Shall we call her in the morning and drive up tomorrow?”
“If we are, we’d better get some sleep. It’s already after two.”
“I’ll wake you bright and early then.”
Meg stood and glared at him. “Do not even think about it, Taylor! We can leave at ten.”
Laughing, he stood up and gathered her into his arms. “How I ever came to be stuck with such a group of sleepyheads, I’ll never know. Ten it is, then, Megan. But not a moment later!”
“Goodnight, Taylor.” She hugged him hard then kissed his cheek. “I hope you know that in all the ways that matter, you have always been my father and I love you.”
His eyes answered her, filling with tears as he said, “Goodnight, Munchkin. Sleep well.”
Time's Secrets (Taylor's Girls Book 3) Page 8
