No, this was better. They’d had a week with him and…it had been a turbulent one, but it was better that he know about his son. Better that she knew were they stood. It would all work out, she vowed to her reflection.
Nodding to her image, she turned around and walked out. When she stepped into the small kitchen, she found Javier and Alejandro speaking in Spanish to each other and she smiled, proud of her son and his almost instantaneous grasp of the beautiful language. He spoke it with a beautiful accent, and hearing Javier, Alejandro worked hard to pronounce some of the more difficult words.
She poured herself a cup of coffee, but her stomach simply wouldn’t allow her to drink it. She felt sick to her stomach and wanted Javier to just go, to end the anticipation.
But that wasn’t fair to Alejandro or Javier. As she watched the two of them, she wondered when things were going to be fair for her! The oatmeal was sitting in a bowl at her space at the table, but she couldn’t eat. Her stomach was too anxious at the idea of Javier leaving.
When the two of them laughed, she realized that she was just standing in the middle of her kitchen, not paying any attention. She was useless. That angered her so much, she sighed and dumped her coffee down the drain. “I have to get to school,” she announced, not wanting to be here when Javier left. She didn’t think she could take it. “You’ll be here until Ms. Hathaway arrives?” she asked.
He stood up and looked at her curiously, his dark eyes surveying the high color in her cheeks. “Yes, of course.” He nodded to her. “Is everything okay?”
She glared up at him, resentful of his easy life. Was everything okay? Well, if one could say that a person’s heart being ripped out of her chest as being okay, then yes, everything was hunky dory! “I’m fine,” she told him flatly. “I have to go.”
She bent down and kissed Alejandro on the cheek, rubbing the lipstick smudge off while enjoying his giggle. “Love you,” she told him. “Behave for Ms. Hathaway.”
She turned away and walked towards the door, unwilling to kiss Javier goodbye. She couldn’t! She just had to get out of there, to leave and be done with him! He wasn’t coming back and she didn’t want one more kiss. She didn’t want to see him leave!
Even as her fingers curled around the knob of her front door, she felt strong fingers on her upper arm. He swung her around and she landed with a thud against his hard chest. Without thought, her arms wrapped around his neck, and she automatically lifted her face for his kiss. He wasn’t slow or gentle this time. His hands lifted her up, aligning their bodies as he pressed her back against the door, deepening the kiss until she was moaning, her body moving restlessly against his.
Only then did he lift his head and glare down at her. “Think of that while I’m gone, mi amora,” he murmured and pulled away.
Natalie was slightly dizzy after that kiss, her knees barely holding her upright. But she managed to pull herself together enough so that he wouldn’t know how much his departure was affecting her.
“Have a good day,” he told her. “I’ll call you tonight.”
She nodded, but didn’t really expect him to call. He would be too busy, too wrapped up in his old world to remember his new one.
And that was fine! She and Alejandro would be perfectly fine! She would…
No, she wasn’t going to be fine, but she would fake it for Alejandro who would miss his father terribly tonight.
Taking a deep breath, she surveyed her vehicle choices. And just to be spiteful, she walked over to her beat up old car, not wanting to take anything else from Javier. It took a couple of tries, but the engine finally turned over. As she was backing out, she glanced at the front door to find Javier glaring at her, saying something on his cell phone. For some reason, she just knew that he was talking about…her and her vehicle choice.
She didn’t care as she backed out of her driveway. He didn’t have to like her choices. She was her own woman and would go about her business on her own.
Pulling into the school parking lot, she turned off the engine and rested her forehead against the steering wheel. He would be gone by the time she left here tonight. He would be out of her life.
And she just knew he wouldn’t be back! Somehow, she had to survive this. She’d have to get through the day, step by step. The man was addictive, but she’d overcome before. She could do it again.
Her stomach was still upset, but she pulled her purse and her tote bag off of the vinyl seat beside her and walked into the school. Thankfully, there were only a few other teachers here this early and she smiled at everyone she passed, acting as if nothing were wrong, like her world wasn’t falling apart.
The day dragged on slowly, painfully. She wanted to call Javier, to find out if he’d left. But she wouldn’t let herself contact him. She was determined to go cold turkey, not allow him or his father to reject her again this time around. No, she would be strong and in control. No phone calls, no letters, no texts or e-mails.
“Are you going to eat that?” Beth, one of the other teachers at the school and a good friend, asked as several other teachers sat down with her in the teacher’s lounge.
Natalie looked down at her sandwich, startled to find that she’d been staring into space for the whole break. Glancing at the clock, she jerked upright. “I have to hurry to class,” she said and tossed her sandwich into the trashcan. She knew she wouldn’t be able to eat it anyway.
The rest of the day dragged by even more slowly, probably because she hadn’t eaten anything all day, but her stomach rebelled at the idea of food. She just wanted to hurry home and be with Alejandro, hear about his day and read stories with him. She’d make soup for dinner tonight. Soup with macaroni and cheese. She’d have to stop by the grocery store to get the ingredients, but she had extra time tonight since she didn’t need to pick Alejandro up at preschool at any specific time. And Ms. Hathaway’s hours were until five o’clock, a bit later than she normally picked up her son.
Even so, when the last bell rang, she hurried out of the school almost immediately after the students. Driving to the grocery store, she thought about picking up some ice cream as well. Yeah, that would be a nice treat she thought. Comfort foods, she realized. She was comfort eating but wasn’t going to change her plans. Javier was gone and she was hungry and depressed.
Ice cream would soothe all of their sadness, she thought. And a long ride on Charlie would also help. Yes, Alejandro would love that too. Charlie could release all the stress of any kind of day!
When she pulled up outside of her tiny house, she sighed with weariness. The horses were exercised and fed, even brushed down and their stalls mucked out. So that chore was taken care of for her. Ms. Hathaway had Alejandro down by the creek doing some sort of science experiment and he looked enraptured. So, she saddled up Charlie and took him out by herself. Riding along the trails, Charlie was extra frisky, just what she needed. “Yeah, just you and me buddy,” she told the stallion as he tossed his mane. They rode for an hour and Natalie felt enormously better as she slid off his back and brushed down his sleek coat. Toby and Tanya were frisky, chasing each other over the beams of the stables while Bella and Donna, the mares, were running around the pastures, obviously waiting eagerly for Charlie to join them once again.
It seemed as if Natalie was the only one in the world who was slowly falling apart.
Walking into the house, she started up the soup, and mixed the cheese sauce for the mac and cheese casserole. Once that was in the oven, she changed clothes. In leggings and a sweatshirt, she stepped out just in time to have Alejandro leap into her arms. “I got to touch a spider today!” he gushed.
Ms. Hathaway was laughing as she gathered up her gear. “We looked at a dead spider under a microscope and learned about the eyes and legs, various parts of an insect versus non-insects. We also washed our hands thoroughly after the discussion,” she added, assuring Natalie that Alejandro was relatively sterile.
Natalie smiled weakly at the woman as she departed. She and Alejandro then
sat at the kitchen table and ate soup and pasta while her little man regaled Natalie with his learning exploits. Apparently, Ms. Hathaway had covered a great deal of activities today, including a nap, which Alejandro rarely enjoyed.
Alejandro had taken his bath and was settled in his pajamas when her cell phone rang. She looked at the number and her heart began to pound in her chest. Javier!
“It’s Daddy!” Alejandro exclaimed, recognizing the number as well.
“How do you know?” she asked, pressing the button to answer the call.
“He told me!” he whispered but it was loud enough so everyone could hear him.
“Hello?” she answered, sounding a bit breathless, even to her own ears.
“Buenos Noches, mi bella,” he said, and his sexy, deep voice sent shivers throughout her body even from an ocean away. “You didn’t think I would call, did you?”
She hesitated, looking down at Alejandro who was eagerly hoping to hear his father’s voice. “No,” she finally admitted, and smiled when he chuckled.
“So little faith. But I understand.” There was a soft laugh, which sent another thrill through her.
Alejandro was bouncing on his toes, eagerly reaching for the phone. “Can I talk to him?” he pleaded.
She smiled and nodded. “There’s a little guy here who wants to talk to you,” she told Javier.
“Put him on,” and Natalie could hear the smile in his voice.
Natalie handed the phone to Alejandro who then went on to recite all of the activities of the day. There were a few more details during this recitation and Natalie chuckled, relieved that Javier had followed through on this promise to call.
When Alejandro jumped off her lap, she was startled, not sure what was happening. But he pulled her laptop out of her tote bag and lugged it back to her. “What’s this for?” she asked, admitting that she’d been fantasizing instead of paying attention.
“Daddy said that he e-mailed something to you. A story.” He climbed back onto her lap and she opened it up. Sure enough, there was a message there for her from him with an attachment. She clicked on it and a storybook opened up. Natalie gasped at the bright, colorful images on her screen.
Then she heard Javier’s deep voice over the phone, reading the story in Spanish with Alejandro snuggled on her lap. Javier was…he was reading their son a story from Spain!
Once again, Natalie’s heart melted as Alejandro giggled at whatever was being read to him. Natalie tried to focus on the words, but the tears filling her eyes wouldn’t allow her to read along. She sniffed, trying to hide her reaction to this tender moment so that Alejandro didn’t become concerned. Thankfully, the story was silly enough that the little guy was enthralled.
Alejandro snuggled down in her lap, enjoying the story. Or maybe he was simply enjoying a conversation with his father. She wasn’t sure which was better for him.
At the end of the story, Natalie heard Javier tell his son goodnight and Alejandro smiled, hugging the cell phone close to his ear. “Buenos noches, Papa,” he replied. A moment later, he twisted around to kiss her, then leapt off of her lap, racing to his bedroom. A moment later, he raced right back and grinned up at her as he handed the phone back to her. “Papa says I should tuck myself into bed so that he can talk to you next. I’m a big boy, so I can do it, too!”
Natalie stared after him, unaware of her mouth hanging open. Her little guy didn’t need to be tucked in? Oh no, that was not happening!
“Javier, I’ll call you back in a minute.” With that, she ended the call and hurried after Alejandro, tickling him in punishment for thinking he could get away without being tucked in. They talked for several minutes in the dark before he started to fade away. Natalie kissed him gently, pulled his blanket up higher, then tip toed out of his bedroom, pulling the door closed so the light from the family room didn’t reach his room.
When she stepped back into the light, she stared at her phone. Yes, she should call him back. But she was angry with him. Why? Well, Natalie wasn’t sure. He’d followed through on his promise to call. Was that why she was angry?
Yeah. She recognized the problem immediately. He’d promised to call. He’d called. He’d promised to come back, so her heart was starting to hope. Just this morning, she’d admonished herself for hoping. It was a dangerous thing, hope.
Before she had a chance to decide, her phone started ringing again. Before she even looked at the incoming phone number, she knew it was Javier, done waiting for her to call him back. Of course, he’d been with them for more than a week so he knew exactly how long it took to tuck Alejandro into bed. He’d probably even given her a few more minutes, just to be a gentleman.
Didn’t matter, she thought. Natalie still wasn’t ready to talk to him. But instead of hiding or ignoring his call, she answered the phone and curled up at the end of the sofa. “Hello?”
“Natalie, what’s wrong, mi bella?” he asked, tenderly.
Sighing, she rubbed her forehead, not exactly sure what to tell him. “I’m just tired. How was your flight?”
“It was fine, and you’re not just tired. Why didn’t you take your new car this morning?”
Why? To hurt him, she thought. “Because I thought you would need it to get to the airport,” she lied.
“My driver picked me up, Natalie. Take the Land Rover. I would prefer that you drive that instead of the other vehicle. It would ease my mind to know that you and Alejandro were safe on the roads. The other vehicle is a death trap, mi amorcita.”
Oh, if only he really meant that last word. But was she his ‘love’? Or was she simply the mother of his child? She didn’t know and didn’t think she’d ever know. “Isn’t it late in Spain?” she asked, glancing at the clock. It was only eight o’clock here, but she knew there was a six hour time difference.
“Yes, but there are many details that I needed to review so I’m still at the office.”
“What time did you arrive?” She didn’t really care what time he landed. She wanted to know when he was going to head home and go to sleep. She wanted to ask him if he’d eaten anything, either on the plane or when he’d landed. She wanted him to tell her that he was okay and that he missed her, she wanted to tell him that she missed him.
But they didn’t have that kind of a relationship so she pressed her lips together, trying to stop herself from asking all of those questions.
“I don’t know exactly when I touched down, but I was able to get a good deal of work done on the plane.”
“And the work just blended together once you arrived at your office, right?” she asked, smiling in memory of how he thrived in a work environment. Four years ago, she’d resented his ability to lose himself in his work, but that was because she’d had nothing to do but lunches, salon visits, and shopping trips with acquaintances.
She was a different person now, stronger and smarter. She had her own career. Straightening her shoulders, she realized that she’d been wallowing today, just as she had four years ago. She loved her job, loved teaching Spanish to her students. Why was she letting this man control her feelings?
“Yes, there was a great deal to get through. But I want to hear about your day. Did anything special happen?”
She smiled, feeling a sense of warmth that she smothered as soon as it began to bloom. Focusing on Alejandro, she told him about his excitement at having ice cream for dessert and how he’d been so excited to bring in the bugs from their experiment until she told him that there was no way he was keeping dead spiders under his pillow. She loved Javier’s deep chuckle and searched her brain to come up with anything else that might create that sound again. When Alejandro’s antics wound down, she couldn’t think of anything else to say and an awkward silence descended.
“And how are you, Natalie?” he asked, his tone warm.
Biting her lip, she wondered how she could answer him without revealing too much. “I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m fine as well, thank you for asking,” he replied, dryly
formal with a twist of humor. “Are we now reduced to trivialities?” he asked.
She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I suppose we are. I don’t know what else to say, Javier.”
“I see. Well, then why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll call again tomorrow night.”
She wanted to scream at him, wanted him to say something interesting and personal. But there was nothing but a large amount of space between them. “That would be nice. I’ll tell Alejandro to expect your call.”
“And will you expect it as well?”
She paused, coming up with several abrupt or offhand things to say. But in the end, she decided to be honest with him. “I’m not expecting anything, Javier. I’ve learned that the hard way, remember?”
There was another long pause before he said, “I understand. And I will fix that for you, mi amora.”
Sure he would, she thought cynically. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow then,” she sighed and pressed the end button before he said something else that would cause her to not sleep.
Chapter 7
Javier paced the foyer of Castillo Astrana, waiting for his father to come downstairs for breakfast. He hadn’t forewarned his father that he was coming home, wanting to see his father’s reaction to the news. He needed honesty now. And he needed to understand why. Why would his father have lied all those years ago? Why would his father have done something so heinous as to banish Natalie when she was pregnant?
Even as he waited impatiently, Javier knew that he couldn’t put all the blame on his father. Javier should have gone after Natalie, he should have demanded answers. His only defense four years ago was that he had been overwhelmed by his feelings for Natalie. Never before, or since, had he so completely lost himself in a woman. Natalie’s touch was different from other women. He’d been imprisoned by the need he had for her. Not just the sex, although that had been amazing. But he’d been leaving work early just to be with her, to see her smile, to revel in her presence. Having her in his home had been the most amazing sensation.
Spanish Passions (Friends Forever Book 2) Page 11
