by Carly Fall
“How about some Erykah Badu?” she asked.
“Never heard of her.”
Ella grinned. “Oh, you’re missing out. She’s amazing.”
She pushed play on the CD, and the sound of ‘Window Seat’ wafted through the whole house. A beautiful-sounding, smooth tale of a woman who, in the end, just wanted to be loved and desired.
“Very nice,” he murmured as he pulled her closer. “Gorgeous.”
As they moved, she finally felt herself relaxing a little bit, and she let the music soften the muscles in her shoulders, a place where she always held so much tension.
“See, if you just move to the music and don’t think about it, then it comes naturally.”
He pulled her closer, and without considering it, she lay her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.
She became intimately aware of Zach as the soulful music with the emotional words played on. She’d listened to the song many, many times, and it always brought up memories of Joe. Yet, here she danced with Zach, and it felt so right. In the end, she guessed she just wanted to be loved and desired, as everyone did.
The softness of his t-shirt against her cheek, the way his strong arms encased her, making her feel protected, and just a hint of a pleasant, woody-smelling aftershave hit her senses.
She pressed her chest into his, the hard plains against her pliant body exciting her, while her heart beat so loudly, she felt certain he could hear it.
Yes, being this close to a man after so long, to Zach, had her head spinning with salacious thoughts of all the ways he could take her running through her mind. The couch. The barstool. The floor. A bedroom.
Heat pooled in her core as desire tore through her and she tried not to think about her scar.
Zach ran his hand down her spine, his touch firm, but not hurtful.
“I always told you I’d be honest with you, didn’t I, Ella?”
Her breath caught in her throat.
“Yes,” she breathed.
“So here’s the truth. I can feel your hardened nipples against my chest, and I want one in my mouth so badly, I’m almost shaking. Your cheek against my shoulder burns, but in a good way. And the most telling thing of all is that I can smell your arousal. If I were to slip my hand between the folds of your robe and slide my fingers between your legs, I know I’d find you slick.”
She should have known he’d be so in tune with her and the way her body betrayed what she felt. The man seemed to have superhuman senses, and she supposed he did. That’s what you got when you became a government experiment.
Her throat became parched, and she couldn’t form any words. She had an idea of what he would say next, and she seemed powerless to stop where this moment would be taking them.
“If I pull you against me just a little bit more, I know you’ll feel my cock against your stomach. My hard cock, Ella. My desire for you is just as strong as yours for me.”
He splayed his hand across her lower back and pulled her close, and yes, his long, thick length did indeed strain against his jeans.
“So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to count to ten. If I don’t hear a ‘no’ from you by then, I’m going to kiss you. Once I get a taste of your mouth, I know it’ll be over for me. I know that I’ll want things to continue into this very scary, yet exciting uncharted territory. You’ll be the first woman I’ve had sex with since my blindness, Ella. That thought terrifies me.”
She swallowed hard, wanting to tell him he’d be her first man since receiving the scar, but the words seemed to clog her throat.
They kept swaying to the music, Zach holding her body flush against his. She moved her head just slightly so it lay below his chin. His heart pounded against her ear.
He said he had been afraid of what could happen, but the proof lay right there in that accelerated sound. She shut her eyes and listened to the beating drum.
“I’m at five, Ella.”
She did nothing to stop it, nothing to give him any indication she wanted it to end. Instead, she stayed right where she was, her body moving against his in time with the soulful music.
“Eight.”
He certainly counted slow, and she knew why. He wanted to give her ample opportunity to back out.
“Ten,” he whispered.
He waited one more beat, then placed his hand under her chin. He tilted her head up and she opened her eyes, seeing her own reflection in his glasses. Her irises looked wild, almost out of control; yet, her lids were heavy. She stared at the scar down the side of her face as he lowered his head.
Before their lips met, he paused. “If you’re going to reject me, do it now, Ella.”
His low voice, that deep whisper, gave away his hurt, his fear of rejection, as well as his desire. He wanted her, but was afraid, just like her. They had both been damaged physically and mentally by forces greater than either of them. Her anguish showed in her demeanor, while his hid behind a wall of arrogance and self-confidence. As they stood in the living room, their mouths an inch apart, she realized just how raw the events that had scarred both of them had left them.
She laced her hand behind his neck and pulled his head down. “I’m not going to reject you, Zach.”
Her lips met his in a lazy, exploratory kiss, which quickly turned heated. She held his head to hers, both arms wrapped around his neck. One of his hands snaked up her spine, holding her close between her shoulder blades, his other hand at her lower back. There would be no escape in his firm grasp, and she melded her body into his.
Their tongues dueled passionately, and her knees literally went weak. Holy Hell, what did this man do to her?
As she tasted the tinge of coffee and mint, she seemed to lose her sense of reality. The only thing that mattered amounted to Zach’s hands running up and down her back, the feel of her breasts pressing into his hard chest, and the growing ache of need and desire between her legs.
“Ella, take me to bed, or I’m going to fuck you right here on the floor, and I say that with the utmost honesty.”
She reluctantly pulled away from him, her hand firmly in his. “Come with me.”
Leading him through the kitchen, the dining room, and down the short hall to her spacious bedroom, she realized she felt more alive in this moment than she had in years, even before she and Joe had gone on the run. Right now, she delved into uncharted territory; yet, it didn’t feel dangerous, but glorious and exciting.
“I’ve never been in here,” he murmured.
“I know. No one has.”
And it held true.
After Joe had bought the house then tucked her away, no one else had ever stepped foot in her room. Joe had roamed the halls and every inch of the place in his chair, and she’d had more guests than she’d ever wanted. However, no one stepped foot into her private sanctuary, except her.
And now, Zachary Johnson.
She led him to the bed, her knees flush against the mattress. She held tight to his hand, then fell back, pulling him with her.
He landed on her, his weight heavy, yet so welcomed. She hadn’t realized how she’d missed the feeling of a man on top of her, the closeness and utter surrender on her part as his bulk pressed her into the mattress.
Zach didn’t miss a beat and kissed her neck. She wrapped her legs around his hips, loving the feeling of his lips caressing her collarbone, the warmth of his breath as he nuzzled her.
“Right now, I wish for only one thing,” he whispered as his tongue traced her earlobe.
“What’s that?” she breathed, a delicious shiver traveling through her.
“I wish I had the ability to make these damn clothes disappear.”
She began to giggle, and the endorphins a good chuckle could bring traveled throughout her body. Her laughter grew, the wonderful feeling rolling through her system like a tidal wave. Before she knew it, tears streamed down her face, and Zach smiled above her.
“Is that really so funny?”
“No,” she breathed, her chest
heaving as she grinned. “No, it wasn’t, but it was. I wish you had a magic wand to get rid of the clothes, as well. Make them disappear, Zach. Let me feel you. Please. Now.”
He kissed her once more, then stood. He removed his t-shirt, revealing exactly what she had felt underneath—a defined chest tapered down into a taut, flat stomach. Kicking off his boots, he then slid his jeans down to the floor, his thick shaft jutting out from his slim hips.
“Will you be too afraid if I take these off?” He pointed to his glasses.
She imagined having sex with someone who didn’t have any eye coloring, just two white orbs. It would also be weird to have sex with someone wearing sunglasses. They were definitely in a unique position, as she couldn’t see Zach wanting to get physical with her if he had his sight and could see her scarred face.
“No. Take them off.”
Nerves wracked her body as she slid the robe from her shoulders and stood naked in front of him. How she wanted this to happen, but how very raw she felt at the thought of giving her body to someone.
Not that she thought of Joe, or even compared Zach to him. She’d just been alone for so long, sharing nothing with no one, just going through the days existing as she convinced herself it was best because at least, she remained safe. She’d imprisoned herself.
And now, she would be sharing herself with another. It excited her, but also scared her to be in such a position.
She reached out and touched his chest, her hand shaking, and Zach shivered, keeping his eyes closed. She knew his thoughts paralleled hers—both of them were terrified, yet thrilled at this new found connection.
Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her close. Her body quivered at the warm skin-to-skin contact. Energy pulsed between them as he held her close, then they sank to the bed.
No words were spoken as she lay on top of him and he threaded his fingers through her hair. As they kissed, the coil of desire grew tighter within her, her fear subsided, and she wanted him ferociously. The only thing that mattered seemed to be her need for release, her craving to take as much from him as he’d be willing to give.
She sat up and took his cock in her hand. He hissed as she stroked him, and she loved the feeling of the soft skin encasing the hard shaft. Moving, she positioned him at her center.
“Not yet, Ella.” In one quick move, he had her on her back. “We have to talk about condoms, but for right now, I want to do wicked things to you with my tongue.”
She gasped as he roughly pushed her legs apart and his mouth found her center. He lapped and suckled at her delicate flesh as his fingers moved within her.
“Oh my God,” she whispered as he continued his ministrations, her core tightening with each thrust of his hand.
Moments later, the wave of pleasure built within her as she panted, unable to believe the strength of her impending release.
Zach moved from in between her legs and lay on top of her. “Condoms?”
“No.”
“I’m clean.”
“Me, too.”
“Pregnancy?”
“We’re fine.”
“Good.”
That had to be the shortest birth control discussion ever.
He slammed his hips into her and she bit her lip to keep from crying out at the intrusion. It had been a long time since she’d been with a man, and he stretched her and filled her almost painfully.
“Holy hell, Ella,” he whispered into her ear, not moving. “You’re so tight, so hot.”
She closed her eyes and willed her body to relax and her fingertips trailed up and down his back. It seemed he knew her body needed to adjust to his girth, and he gave her a few minutes.
“Now,” she murmured, and he slid out, then in, his hips moving at a languid pace.
Pleasure took over the initial pain, and she rocked her pelvis in time with his as the crest of gratification began to build again.
A light sheen of sweat formed between them, making their bodies slide over each other. With each thrust, his chest rubbed her nipples, sending electric shocks throughout her nerve endings.
It seemed as they moved together, each minute brought an onslaught to the barricade she’d so carefully constructed around her heart. She imagined it like a brick wall one would find at a castle. A small ding turned into a crack. His moans of pleasure turned the crack into a gaping crevice. As he moved his hips faster, bricks began to fall, as if an earthquake rattled within her. Soon, there’d be nothing left, and she’d be laid raw, open, and exposed.
It felt liberating, and frightening.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, both of them panting, his breath tickling her ear as she threaded her fingers through his hair. She shut her eyes, giving herself over to her total deconstruction and the pleasure that would be rocketing through her very soon.
Suddenly, Zach rolled over and she straddled him. “Fuck me, Ella. Finish us both off.”
He kept his eyes closed as she rocked in his lap, his hands firmly grasping her waist, then he reached up and took a breast in each hand, teasing her nipples into hard pebbles.
“These are so beautiful,” he whispered. “What I wouldn’t give to see them sway as you ride me.”
She gazed down at him as her orgasm reached the crescendo, and then it seemed every muscle in her body tightened. Throwing her head back, she longed to let out the scream that seemed to be stuck in her throat, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She’d been completely broken, absolutely shattered, and wondered if she’d ever be able to pull herself together again.
Zach reached his completion seconds later with a ripe curse, and she collapsed on his chest. His heart thrummed wildly under her ear, his ragged breath fighting to enter and leave his lungs.
She reached up and wiped the tear trickling down her cheek and shut her eyes.
Chapter 17
Ella lay against his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist. He laced his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close.
The beat of his heart echoed in his head, blocking out the sound of a lawnmower in the distance.
He’d had a feeling it would come to this, that they would end up in each other’s arms, their bodies intertwined. Despite her being a raging bitch when they first met, the attraction had been undeniable. It hadn’t been anything he’d seen coming when he looked in the mirror. The way it had happened had been completely organic. It had been an unexpected surprise, but one he had hoped would present itself.
Grinning, he took stock of how he felt., and decided it was amazing what a good fucking could do for a guy.
Being the first time he’d gotten tangled with a woman since his blindness, it had almost felt like a new experience for him. He’d longed to see her as they made love—her breasts, her long legs, her flat stomach, and the look on her face as she had an orgasm. Instead, the experience had been an outright assault on his other senses.
The scent of sex lingered in the air, Ella’s soft caresses against his damp chest sending chills down his spine. He still tasted her essence on his lips, and as she covered his body, her skin felt like a silken blanket.
Being with Ella had definitely been one of the best experiences in his life.
“I’m not sure what to say,” she whispered.
“I don’t see why we need to say anything at all,” he said after a stretch of silence.
“This all feels so strange to me.”
What the hell did that mean? “What does? Having sex? Having sex with me?”
“All of it.”
A tremor lingered in her voice—did that signal she was crying? He placed his finger under her chin and tipped her head up.
“Can you please explain what you mean, Ella? You’ve got me in the dark here.”
“Is that another bad joke?”
He chuckled when he realized what he’d said. “Well, it is a bad one, but it was unintentional. I just don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Raising his head, he found her lips, and tasted just a slight hint o
f salt. That didn’t mean she’d been crying; it could also be a little sweat. He wouldn’t jump to any conclusions.
She traced her hand up the side of his face and ran her fingers through his hair. “You look incredibly sexy right now.”
He smiled, loving that she felt that way about him. “I’m sexy all the time.”
“You’re right. You’re sexy, as well as arrogant, all the time.”
He chuckled. “So what did you mean about all this feeling strange to you?”
Sighing, she traced her hand over his chest, down to his belly button, where she circled it with one finger. Who knew that could be an erogenous zone for him?
“And if you keep that up, I’m going to have you flat on your back again, lady.”
She laughed and sniffed. “That may not be so terrible.”
They lay in silence for a long time, and Zach sensed she gathered her thoughts, thinking of the way she wanted to string the words together.
“You’re the first man I’ve been with in seven years, Zach.”
“That’s quite a dry spell,” he commented, thinking his year without sex would be a blip on the radar screen compared to her drought.
“I know. Since you’ve been here, I’ve realized how I’ve completely shut myself off from the real world. I told myself it was because I was afraid of the government finding me, but in reality, it’s because I don’t want to be hurt again.”
“I’m sorry you’ve been wounded so badly, Ella,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.
He wanted to know more, to find out who had damaged her psyche so badly, but he didn’t want to pry too much. He’d found out that if Ella got pushed into what she deemed an uncomfortable zone, she shut down. He figured it would be best just to let her tell him at her own pace.
“I mean, first there was the attack where Joe and I had been hurt so seriously, but then to have him push me away …”
What?
“He … pushed you away?”
“Yes. After he had been shot, I took care of him, with his uncle’s help. I was there for him during his rehab, while he got stronger. Yet, he became distant from me. I didn’t understand it, but I kept trying to remain close to him.”
