by Carly Fall
“Because, at one time, you were his. Men can be like that—dominant and territorial.”
She shrugged, and just decided to take Zach’s word. Joe had pushed her away, had given up on their relationship. He shouldn’t care at all that she’d found happiness with Zach.
As she crossed the living room to the front door, she smoothed her blouse and shorts and also pulled her hair over to the left side of her face. She didn’t bother doing so any longer with Zach, but with others, she still held a bit of self-consciousness. Eventually, she hoped she could embrace the scar as part of her past and not let it define her at all.
Baby steps.
She opened the door and smiled. “Hi, Joe.”
“Ella,” he said as she stepped aside to allow Thomas to push him in. “Is everything okay here?”
“Yes. Everything’s fine.”
“Good. Where’s Zachary?”
“Out on the patio.”
“Excellent. I love the view from out there.”
She led them out the door and then sat down next to Zach on the bench swing.
“Hey, Joe,” Zach said.
“How are you feeling, Zachary?”
“I’m sore, but I’ll be fine. My nurse has been exceptional.”
“Thank you for taking care of him, Ella.”
“Of course.”
“Now, at the risk of sounding rude, let’s get down to business as I have to fly out of here in two hours. Ella, you’ve been putting me off for a few days. Do tell what happened that night? Why is my operative sitting in front of me wearing a sling with a bullet wound in his shoulder and looking a little worse for wear?”
Here we go.
“Because of me.”
Joe’s eyebrows lifted, his mouth forming a flat line. “Please explain.”
She glanced up at Thomas, and realized she preferred this to be a private conversation. “Thomas, could you please give us a moment?”
Thomas glanced at Joe, who nodded. He stepped inside and shut the sliding glass door.
“Ella?”
She met his eyes, seeing the confusion in them. She also saw something she hadn’t noticed before—caring. He still cared for her, still remained concerned about her welfare. It only made it harder, and she wished he hated her. Yet, he very well may after she said her piece.
“Before Zach arrived, I contacted Group Nine. I told them I had someone who could give them information on your organization. I knew that if Zach fell into their hands, they’d most likely kill him, but he was your operative, which would have hurt you.”
Joe’s cheeks flamed, but he kept his features impassive. “Interesting. And what about poor Zachary?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t give much thought to him. He would have been a casualty. I was more concerned with hurting you.”
Joe sat back in his chair, staring over the rim of his glasses at her. “And with our history, why in the world would you want to hurt me?”
“Because of that history!” she shouted.
Zach placed his hand over hers, trying to calm her.
Taking a deep breath, she continued. “After you got well, Joe, you pushed me away when the only thing I needed from you was to be close. I had this horrible cut on my face, and you kept distancing yourself from me, until there was nothing left between us. You broke my heart and your actions turned me into this horribly angry and ugly person—ugly on the inside and the outside.”
Joe stared at her, confusion crossing his face. “Ella, I don’t know what to say. I did what I did because I cared about you.”
Tears sprung to her eyes, and she fought them from falling. “It was a funny way of showing it.”
He sighed and placed his head in his hands. “Please continue, Ella.”
“Well, I got to know Zach better, and I realized the mistake I’d made.”
Joe glanced from her to Zach.
“I think this is a good time for me to jump in here,” Zach said. “I’m sleeping with Ella.”
“Oh, for the love of God,” Joe murmured, shaking his head.
“Joe, after Zach and I became … close, I began to change. He reached a place in me I never thought I’d see again. Slowly, he made me realize that there’s more to life than what I’d built. I could be happy.”
He didn’t look at them, just stared at his lap.
She quit talking and let what she’d said sink in.
Finally, Joe looked up at her, his stare angry. “And then what, Ella?”
She sat up straight. “Then I realized I needed to save us all. I gave Zach to Group Nine willingly. I contacted Ruben to come help me, and we trailed Zach and the Group Nine operative. Ruben killed him, and we got Zach out.”
“How did he kill him? I haven’t gotten the report from the clean-up crew yet.”
“He shot him.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew where Ruben was, Joe?” Zach asked. “You had to realize we were in the same platoon.”
“I did. I tried to keep Ruben under wraps. His ability is very shaky.”
“What’s his ability?” Zach asked.
“He can cause explosions with his mind.”
“Oh my God!” Ella exclaimed while Zach let out a low whistle.
“Yes, he doesn’t have a good grasp of it yet, so I’ve tried to keep him tucked away until he can control it better. I didn’t think there would be an issue when I placed him with Ella, and thankfully, there wasn’t one. Since then, there have been quite a few … accidents as he learns. When he gets excited, his ability is almost completely out of control. As you can imagine, I didn’t want to expose him to the rest of you until he had a better handle on the ability.”
A stretch of silence ensued, then Joe spoke again. “Well, this is a lot of me to take in. What are your plans, Zachary?”
He shrugged. “I’m open to anything, as long as it includes Ella.”
Joe stared at him. “Ella, can you please give us a moment?”
She stood on shaky legs and left the patio. As she shut the sliding glass door, she saw Joe’s face fall as he gazed at Zach, and she noticed the anger and pain that had taken over his calm features.
She sat down on the couch and stared out at them, wishing she could read lips.
Chapter 33
Zach felt the heat of Joe’s gaze and didn’t move as he listened for any sudden movements, or any sounds such as a gun being cocked.
“Well, Zachary, you’ve come into my life and turned it upside down. I don’t even know what to say.”
He sighed. “You still care for her.”
“Of course I do! That woman means the world to me. Do you think I’d actually put up with her nastiness if I didn’t have feelings for her?”
Zach shook his head. “I know I wouldn’t.”
“Frankly, as hindsight is twenty-twenty, I knew something was going on when I delivered the files to you. What happened?”
“Well, at first, it was more of a game for me, a game where I was nice and acted interested in her, just to see if I could break through that veneer she had going on.”
“But it became more.”
“It did. See, Joe, I love intelligent women. Boobs are great, and so is a pretty face, but intelligence has always been my turn-on.”
“You don’t need to say any more. I understand your attraction to her.”
“I’m glad you recognize why I find her so amazing.”
The waves crashed in the distance, and he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “What happened, Joe? You had a woman who loved you, who wanted nothing more than to be with you. Why did you let her go?”
“It’s complicated, Zachary.”
“Look, if you don’t want to explain it, I get it. We all have our dirty laundry that we don’t like to air.”
“No, she’s right. I did push her away, but for my own personal reasons.”
Zach sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He gave the p
atio a little push with his foot, and the swing swayed. “The scar?”
“Of course not. It had nothing to do with what I did. I wanted Ella happy, and I wanted her safe, so I kept her close, but distanced myself.”
“And how would that make her happy when she wanted to be near you?”
Joe sighed. “We’re done, Zachary. You’re right. I’m not comfortable divulging my reasons to you.”
Curiosity ate at him. He could tell by Joe’s voice that he still cared deeply for Ella, and he wanted to know why Joe had pushed her away. It irritated him that Joe wouldn’t give up his thoughts concerning Ella.
“So what’s next?” he asked.
“What do you want? Are you two going to ride off into the sunset?”
Zach smiled. “We wanted to see what your thoughts were.”
Would Joe kick them out of his organization to fend for themselves? He really didn’t worry about that as his time as an assassin had paid quite well. They could live on what he’d put away for a few years, but they’d need to find something to do. If Joe booted them, they’d also need new identities, but Zach didn’t concern himself with that, either. He couldn’t see Joe kicking the woman he loved out of his protection without giving her a fighting chance.
“What role do you see yourself taking in my organization, Zachary?”
Good thing he’d given that some thought. “My assassin days are over, Joe. I’ve realized that although I am completely self-sufficient, I need my sight to kill someone. So, I guess my job would be simply to keep Ella happy, and offer up anything I see in the mirror in the mornings. I know she wants to continue working the computers for you, and I respect you very much. It would be an honor to stay in your organization.”
“Her happiness is very important to me, Zach.”
“And I intend to do my best. So far, I’ve been pretty good at it.”
He hoped Joe would say ‘yes’ to the arrangement, and he waited in anticipation for an answer.
“I need to speak to Ella privately,” Joe said.
Zach stood, stretching his hands above his head. “Joe, I don’t mean to come off as a hard ass, but I just want you to remember one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know what’s going through your mind, but if anything were to suddenly happen to me, or to Ella, I’ve put a little safeguard in place that will blow up your organization worse that Ella ever could have, or Ruben with his shaky skills, for that matter.”
Joe chuckled. “Just as you did when you killed the President’s brother.”
“Yes. I don’t like to lay awake at night worrying about the boogeyman. I mean no ill-will against you, Joe. I’m just being safe, for both Ella and me.”
“I understand, and admire your intelligence, Zachary.”
He nodded, feeling as thought they’d come to a mutual understanding. “I’ll go get her.”
Ella sat in the same seat Zach had vacated. She stared at Joe, who had turned and now gazed out over the ocean.
“You have deep feelings for Zachary, don’t you?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
He nodded and turned his chair toward her. “Ella, I’ve only wanted you to be happy, so please, finally, go and do that.”
She shook her head as confusion tore through her. “What happened to us, Joe?”
He shrugged. “My male pride drove you away.”
Sitting back in the chair, she pushed her toe against the cement and gently rocked back and forth. “What does that mean?”
“This is not easy for me to admit,” he murmured as he stared at the ground. “After we were attacked in that hotel room and I realized I would be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of my life, something in me changed. I didn’t feel like a man anymore. I hated that you had to help me so much, that you spent all your time caring for me. I really just wished I had died in that hotel room, but no, I had to be in love and on the run with a nurse.”
Shock tore through her as she listened to him. Never had he voiced his desire for death.
“As I healed, as I learned how to deal with my new disability, I didn’t feel good enough for you. I suppose, subconsciously, I did put space between us. I felt I had to prove something to myself, and to you. I had to show you I was still a worthy man, even if I couldn’t walk.”
Tears sprung in her eyes as she listened. Why couldn’t he have told her this all those years ago? Why had he left her in the dark, letting her rot in her own pit of misery?
“I kept telling myself that I just needed to work harder, I needed to make more progress in my mission, and then I would go back to you.”
“But it was never enough, was it?” she whispered, a tear falling down her cheek.
“No. I wanted to keep you close so that when I finally felt like the man I wanted to be, you would be there.”
“I was there, Joe. The whole time, I was there!”
“I know. You were physically there, Ella, but I knew deep down that I’d lost you.”
She swiped at her face. “Did you ever get to the level of manhood that you felt was good enough for me?”
He chuckled and shook his head, his blue eyes begging her to understand. “No. About two years ago, I realized that I never would.”
She nodded and gazed out at the ocean. “I’m sorry for trying to hurt your organization, Joe. I was just in such a dark, ugly place, and I held you responsible.”
He nodded and leaned forward, taking her hand.
“And I’m sorry for the way I hurt you. However, I do find it odd that you’ve moved from one man with a disability to another.”
She shook her head. “I don’t see it that way. It’s a shame you couldn’t understand that I didn’t care about the chair. I cared about you. I also don’t care that Zach is blind. I care about him, about what’s in his heart.”
He squeezed her hand. “Does Zachary make you happy, Ella?”
As she stared at their entwined fingers, she tried to feel something besides tenderness for Joe, some sort of emotion such as love, but there wasn’t any to be found.
“He does. Our relationship is new, but we’ve been through so much together. It’s like he’s revived me, made me get over myself.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. I want you to move into the future with him, Ella, if that’s what you want. Go and be happy.”
It seemed a weight lifted from her shoulders at his words; yet, she continued to cry. Were the tears for the past? For what should have been between her and Joe? She didn’t know as so many emotions swirled within her.
“Are you and I okay, now?” he asked.
She studied his face. Light purple rings hung under his sad blue eyes. Small little lines she hadn’t noticed before had set up shop around his mouth, and she noticed a bit of grey hair in his temples. He looked tired, stressed, and over-worked.
“Yes. Yes, we are.”
He leaned back in his chair and let go of her hand. “Now, Zachary has said that you would like to continue to work for the organization. Is that true?”
She nodded, surprised by the all-business tone his voice had taken on. “Yes.”
“And Zachary has also informed me that he’s an ineffective assassin without his eyesight.”
She laughed. “If he says so.”
“He said that his job would simply be to make sure you remained happy.”
She grinned, for it felt as if her heart had grown wings and would fly right out of her chest. Gone was the cold, hard stone that had lived within her for so long, and in its place, joy had taken hold.
“As far as I’m concerned,” Joe said with a grin, “that man has just taken on the most important job in this organization.”
Chapter 34
Three days later, Zach sat in the porch swing on the patio, sipping beers with Ella as she watched the sun set. Savannah laid at their feet, quietly snoring.
After Joe left, Ella had been very upset, and he’d decided he couldn’t do anything for h
er except hold her. She’d needed to work through her feelings by herself.
The next day, she’d said she felt better, and today, she seemed to be back to normal. They’d shared a quiet day reading, Ella interrupting his book a few times to tell him about hers. She loved to share her knowledge.
Although he had thought of little else but taking her to the bedroom and getting her naked, he kept his distance, figuring that when she felt up to it, she’d let him know. He’d seen them in the mirror this morning, their naked bodies tangled up on the bed in complete bliss, and he hoped it happened sooner rather than later.
“I wish you could see it,” she said, her voice quiet. “It’s beautiful, all the reds and pinks … just gorgeous.”
He smiled, recalling the sunsets he’d watched when he’d had his sight, and a little twinge of sadness crept in. It had always been his favorite time of day, no matter where in the world he had been, and he missed it.
Suddenly, she gasped.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his heart skipping a beat.
“There’s a … oh my God … it looks like there are whales out there!”
He relaxed, and smiled at the excitement in her voice.
“I need to go get the binoculars,” she said as she ran inside.
A moment later, she came back and stood almost in front of him, her body partially blocking the sun from his face. If he reached out, he knew he’d grab a handful of that fine ass of hers.
“I was right. Those are grey whales.”
He acknowledged she spoke, but he still thought about her butt.
“Grey whales live off Alaska, but migrate to the coast of Mexico for the winter. They like to breed in the warmer waters. They populate the Korean waters, as well.”
Uh-oh. Ella was educating him.
“They have these parasites and other organisms living on them, so it looks like they have crusty rocks all over. They are one of the world’s longest migrators, with their round trip being over twelve-thousand miles. Can you imagine that? It looks like we can see a pod of three, but maybe four,” she added in a murmur. “They are so huge, like the size of a bus.”
He tried to ignore his body’s reaction to her lecture, but he couldn’t. His cock engorged, and he shifted in his seat. He loved it when she rambled on about things, the sound of facts spilling from her lips as intoxicating to him as fine wine.
