by S. E. Weir
Phina grabbed Blayk under the arms, not worrying about the pain she caused, though he whimpered and cried out.
After strapping him back in, she stepped in front of the man and leaned forward to stare into his hate-filled eyes. “I read minds.”
She ignored the panic on his face as she straightened and slapped her palm on his forehead.
Blayk screamed as Phina lifted him into the chair and restrained him again, not that he could do anything if he were free. The bitch hadn’t been lying when she’d told him he would end up bleeding and broken. He couldn’t even twitch without pain shooting through his body.
She leaned over and whispered, “I can read minds.”
He had barely begun to process the enormity of that statement before her hand hit his forehead.
Memory after memory of the women and girls he had taken and discarded flooded through the forefront of his brain. Instead of the rage, disdain, triumph, and indifference he had felt during those moments, pain, fear, anguish, and shame coursed through him. The emotions were foreign but overrode everything else.
Blayk felt slight pressure around his head like a helmet had been put on, but all he could see were the familiar yet strange memories.
Whispered words overpowered the screams and cries to stop, to be let go that rang in his head. Phina’s words. “You will spend whatever is left of your life spinning among the stars, faced with your own cruelty. Perhaps before you meet your end, you will finally feel some remorse.”
Moments and an eternity later, he was hurled through the air. But it wasn’t air, he realized. It was space, just like she had said.
Phina had told him what she was going to do at the beginning, and she’d backed it up. How was he supposed to have known the bitch was that fast or strong?
Shit. She had called him a liar, but she hadn’t lied to him once that he could tell. Did that mean the Empress had sanctioned his death after all?
After another eternity, when he was so dehydrated he could barely breathe, let alone talk, so cold he couldn’t feel his body, and he’d heard his victims’ screams looping for so long that he couldn’t hear anything else, something in his mind cracked.
Just before he breathed his last, Blayk felt a pang of regret.
Chapter Fourteen
Etheric Empire, Sark System, Deep Space
Link stood with Phina as Blayk hurtled through space. He couldn’t help glancing at her. She sighed, and he couldn’t remain silent anymore.
“Are you all right?”
She leaned against his shoulder and put an arm around his waist as she continued to look out onto the vastness of space. Blayk’s pitiful form had been swallowed by the blackness. Recognizing the gesture as a silent request for comfort, Link put his arm around her and pulled her close.
“I will be,” she whispered.
He gently rubbed her shoulder where his hand rested. “What are you thinking about?”
After a few moments of silence, she confused him with something seemingly unrelated. “You know that show you like to watch about working in the White House on Earth?”
“Yeah?”
“Whenever they’re asked to do something by their commander in chief, even if it’s something they don’t agree with, they always say that one phrase.”
“‘I serve at the pleasure of the President.’”
“That’s the one.” Phina nodded, her gaze still on the stars. “They say it proudly, they say it with love, and they say it with determination. But you know what they don’t say enough?”
“What?”
“How freaking hard it is.”
Link’s mouth twitched in amusement before the implication hit him, then he grew concerned. “Do you regret it? Do you wish she hadn’t told you to take care of it?”
Phina’s features tightened, and her body tensed beneath his arm. “That’s the thing, Link. Swap a word, and it’s the Empress that phrase could be referring to. It’s not a light matter to be tasked with an objective by the Empress, especially someone’s death, or enacting her Justice for those who have been wronged. It’s a heavy weight.” She shook her head as she worked her thoughts out. “It’s not just someone’s death then; it’s giving that death the meaning it deserves, the Justice that’s demanded.”
She paused and swallowed hard before continuing. “If given another task by the Empress, would I proudly serve with love and determination? Would I carry that heavy weight again?”
The silence between them grew as her emotions flickered across her face. Finally, she turned her bright, fierce eyes toward him and nodded.
“I would, Link. I would do it again without a drop of regret.”
Tears misted his vision, but he held onto them. “It’s ‘an ounce of regret.’”
“Oh, shush, you.” Phina rolled her eyes and shook her head. Her lips pulled to the side. “You really can’t help yourself, can you?”
“No.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “You know what else I can’t help?”
She arched a brow, silently telling him to get on with it. He smirked, but then his face turned serious. “I can’t help feeling proud as hell of you, Phina.”
Her face softened and brightened, and she gave him a huge hug. “Thank you, Link. I couldn’t have done it without your help and support.”
“Always, my dear. Always.”
He held onto her as he turned his face to the emptiness of space again.
She’s almost there, my old friends. She’ll be that light in the darkness you always wanted her to be.
Gaitune-67, Spy Corps Headquarters and Base, Phina’s Room
Phina propped her tablet on her legs. She reached out with a finger, then paused, hesitating.
Sundancer’s head nudged her arm. Do it. It will be just fine.
She moved her hand to pet down his head and back. “You’re sure?”
As certain as I am that fish and liver are delicious.
“Somehow, that doesn’t reassure me.”
He sighed and nudged her again. Just get it over with. If the worst happens, at least you’ll know.
Agreeing with his wise advice, she checked the connection was secure and pushed the button to connect.
Within a few moments, Todd’s handsome face popped up. “Hey, Kitten.”
Phina burst into tears. She heard Todd’s voice urgently asking her what was wrong. Waving a hand, she tried to get the crying under control, but it took a few minutes.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cry. I wasn’t going to.” She wiped the tears from her face, although it was difficult since they were still flowing. “But when I saw you, I couldn’t help it.”
Sundancer brought her a tissue, which helped. After getting herself under control, she glanced at the screen to see Todd looking concerned.
“It’s all right, Phina. I’m not going to get upset if you cry because you miss me,” he reassured her. She grimaced, and his gaze turned quizzical. “Or did something happen? Are you all right?”
While she used more of the tissues that Sundancer had brought over, she explained everything that had happened since she got to the base and what had occurred with Blayk.
Todd listened without interruption, although she could see that he had conflicting emotions about her retelling. “I see. I’m angry that you had to deal with that fucktard, but I’m proud that the Empress entrusted this task to you. I am concerned because you’re crying. Is it a release of emotional build-up, like before?”
She nodded and wiped a few stray tears away with a knuckle. “It’s mostly that. I had to keep all my emotions inside while we handled it. It was a lot, Todd. I’ve never felt that much rage and fear and anguish before, even with my aunt. When I saw your face, I felt so relieved it was over, and I felt safe. I realized how much I missed you, and it all came gushing out.”
Todd straightened in his seat, his concern coming clearly through the screen. “I understand the rage and anguish over the girls he abused, but why the fear?”
“Phina?”
Sundancer put his paws on her legs, tilting his head to nudge her again. Tell him.
“Because he intended me to be next,” she whispered, picking up Sundancer to wrap her arms around him. “I saw it in his head, along with everything he had already begun to visualize about doing to me.”
She heard a noise she couldn’t interpret from Todd and decided to keep going and get it all out, hugging Sundance to her. Normally he would tell her it was undignified to be handled like that, but this time he rubbed his head against her chest in comfort.
“I had to make it about all of the women and girls he had abused. It couldn’t be about me.” She shook her head, realizing she was losing the battle with her tears again. “It wouldn’t have been right. Once I saw what he wanted to do to me in his head, I knew it couldn’t have been the first time, so I searched deeper and found them all. They have their Justice, and I’m completely satisfied that it was done correctly.”
She grabbed another tissue and wiped her face again. “But all those images are in my head, and I can’t get them out. I wasn’t one of them, but I still feel violated. I knew I wouldn’t ever let that happen to me and I was strong enough to fight him if he ever tried, but that doesn’t help me unsee any of it.”
Phina grabbed yet another tissue and waved it in frustration as her vision blurred. “And I’m still crying and can’t seem to stop.”
“Oh, sweetheart. Kitten, look at me.”
She saw Todd wipe away a few tears of his own as he held a hand up to the camera. “You are strong, and I’m so proud of you. I wish I could be there to hold you, baby. To comfort you and help you carry this.”
Phina gave him a watery smile and held up her hand. “You already are. And getting rather prolific with the pet names, too.”
Todd chuckled. “They just spilled out. Do you mind?”
She shook her head and gestured with her fingers. “No, carry on.”
He outright laughed, and his smile grew wider. “Good to know.”
A cough came from Sundancer. “Not to interrupt, but Phina, I can show you how to move the unwanted memories you glean from others to the back of your mind. They will still be accessible if you need them, but not as fresh and immediate.”
Phina gaped in amazement as she glanced between Sundancer and Todd, who gave the cat-shaped alien a nod of approval.
She hugged Sundancer close and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you so much. That would be incredibly helpful.”
He gave a quiet yowl. “All right, all right. No need to maul me.”
Relaxing her arms, she glanced up to see Todd smiling with affection.
“Do it now, Phina,” he urged. “That way, it’s done, and I don’t need to worry as much about you.”
She nodded when Sundancer agreed. Several minutes later, the memories had been moved. It made a huge difference to her peace of mind and emotional state.
“Better?” Todd asked.
She nodded, her shoulders dropping with relief. “So much better!”
He gave her a strange smile that concerned her until he spoke.
“I was going to wait until you came back to tell you this, but I can’t wait that long. I love you, Phina.” The warmth in his gaze was evident.
“Oh! I love you too.” She smiled but felt a prickle of tears. She waved her hands again before grabbing another tissue to wipe her face. “Fudge in a bucket. Why can’t I stop crying? I just want to feel happy right now!”
Todd grinned sympathetically and shook his head. “It’s all right, Kitten. Those are happy tears.”
“Well, they can get a fudging memo!” Phina exclaimed. “Only happy feelings when I tell you I love you.”
They chuckled and turned the conversation to how and what they’ve been doing since she’d left. Phina was amazed all over again that this incredible, handsome man loved her and was in her life.
She had only happy feelings when she told Todd she loved him again before they signed off.
I told you it would turn out fine.
Yes, yes, Sundancer. You’re so smart.
See, you say it, but I’m not feeling your sincerity.
She curled up around him on the bed and gazed seriously into his eyes. “Thank you, Sundancer. Thank you for encouraging me earlier. Thank you for showing me how to move the memories in my mind, and thank you especially for coming all this way to find me after you left Previdia.”
He rubbed his pink nose under her chin. You’re welcome. I’m happy you now understand how to worship me properly.
Phina burst out laughing, her tears forgotten.
Gaitune-67, Spy Corps Headquarters and Base, Dining Room
Phina sat down at the table for dinner. She felt refreshed and happy after talking to Todd and Sundancer and taking a shower. She had used the time to sort things out in her head and realized that she needed to get back into the game...or mission, rather.
She glanced around the room. The agents and trainees filled the space with whispers and conversations, the sound coalescing into the loud buzzing that predominantly occupies spaces with a lot of people talking at the same time. It always happened in restaurants and eating areas.
Figuring that now was as good a time as any, she opened the filter that would allow her to listen to people’s surface thoughts and gave it some target words to listen for, almost like a programming script. Then she pushed it to one side of her mind and focused on the conversation around the table.
“I haven’t seen him, have you?” Jasper asked Cade.
“Not since yesterday.” The man shrugged without concern as he dug into his meal.
Savas leaned forward with a frown. “I haven’t seen him, either. Was he sent home like Greg?”
“Nah, he’s too good,” Ian argued before stuffing his mouth with a forkful of food.
Kabaka searched the dining hall before shaking his head. “He’s not in the room.”
“It was everyone’s day off today. Maybe he’s just hiding out for some alone time?” Phina offered, feigning casualness.
Jahlek shook his head. “That one is too social. He’s always with people.”
“Hey, Agent Shaw!” Gina called.
Balehn groaned. “Gina! Don’t get Sergeant Hardass’ attention on our day off!”
The man in question turned toward their table, seeking the person who had called him. He steadied his food tray in his hands, balancing a heaping plate of food and a tall cup.
Nodin snickered and shook his head. “Too late, suckers.”
Gina waved Shaw over, her expression growing nervous the closer the agent got to them.
“Yes?” He stood on the other side of the table. She gestured for Savas and Nodin to make room for him between them, but they stared at her like they didn’t understand. Maybe they didn’t, or perhaps they were purposely being obtuse so they didn’t have to sit next to “Sergeant Hardass.”
As Gina worked up the courage to ask the burning question, Phina scooted to the side, closer to the mostly silent Felan, and gestured for the agent to sit if he would like. She ignored the horror on Ian’s face.
Shaw pulled a half-smile at the gesture, but it came off as more of a grimace. “Thank you, Phina, but I need a break from all of you just as much as you need a break from me.” He shifted toward Gina. “I was going to address this tomorrow, but telling you now will give you time for the news to settle and not distract you from training.”
The trainees turned in interest.
“Blayk isn’t here any longer,” Shaw announced. “It came to our attention that he had committed acts unbecoming to an agent of Spy Corps, let alone the Empire.”
“What does that mean?” Cade demanded.
Shaw leveled a stare at the trainee. “It means he’s dead.”
Gasps sounded around the table. Phina remained silent, taking in all their reactions.
“What happened?” Ian whispered in shock.
; Taking a deep breath, Shaw appeared a bit stiff, as if he wanted to be careful of his responses. “There’s no need for you to know the details. Suffice it to say that the proper authorities instructed the alpha agent to take care of everything, and Blayk will not be coming back.”
“Yeah, because he’s dead,” Jasper muttered angrily.
Shaw scrutinized the angry trainee. “Yes, for acts unbecoming. Which means you want no part of it. If I find out any of you were involved in his actions, you will suffer the same consequences.”
He raked them all with a heavy glance, lingering a half-beat longer on Phina, before turning away to find his seat.
“Damn.” Ian ran his fingers through his hair. “That sounds like Blayk did something really bad.”
“What do you think it was?” Gina whispered, her face pale. “What does ‘acts unbecoming’ even mean?”
“Whatever it was, Agent Shaw made it clear we didn’t need to speculate on it,” Jahlek said quietly. “I’m going to take that advice.” He stood and picked up his tray, walking away without a backward glance.
The trainees glanced anxiously around the table, then most of them quickly finished their last bites and left the dining room.
Phina and Felan were the last trainees left at the table. Phina ate her food, not hurrying in the slightest. The trainees’ departure gave her the opportunity to catch surface thoughts from the agents. There were far too many agents talking about Blayk for her liking and an uncomfortable number thinking sex-related thoughts, but nothing about traitors, betrayal, sabotage, or other deceptive thoughts to be concerned about.
Felan finished his third plate of food and left with a nod. Phina watched him go as she chewed her last bite. She knew everything she needed to know about him from her scans, but in many ways, he was still an enigma. If she hadn’t known his absolute loyalty to the Etheric Empire and the Empress, she would be monitoring him carefully for potential problems since he observed everything and kept it all close. Since she did, she couldn’t help feeling grateful to have someone in their small group she could relate to.
