by Robin Leaf
“He turned in his father?” I whispered, too low to hear.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
Noah continued. “Then he approached me one night, asking me to help him find someone who would have sex with a woman while he watched. I had no idea who the woman was. I didn’t ask. I had never seen the girl he loved, didn’t even know her last name. Honestly, the less I knew about her, the more I could deny if someone asked. I knew he wasn’t having sex with her, so I figured it was some new kink he was trying to fulfill his jollies without feeling unfaithful to his love.
“But then came a problem. I knew what it would do to him and to his father if this little… tryst was ever leaked. See, there is a risk bringing other people into a situation like this. The fewer people who knew, the better. I decided protecting him was still my main concern, so I volunteered. He accepted the idea since I was one of the only people he trusts. One of two people, to be exact.” He looked at me pointedly.
“How could you do that… have sex with the girl he loved?”
He ran his hands over his head. “Honestly, Darla, I did not know it was… her. Not until I saw the way he looked at her. I should have put two and two together when he gave me the ‘do not kiss her anywhere’ speech, but I was too excited, too turned on.” He looked contrite. “I am going to make a confession, Darla, one I really don’t need to leave this table.” I nodded. “I am into being watched. I’ve done it before that night… and since.” I raised my eyebrow. “Let’s just say when you are running an investigation in a sex club, you have to… blend.”
I smirked. “Now that’s a story I’d like to hear.”
He smiled. “Maybe another time.” He took a drink of his water. “When I got there that night, I really didn’t know until things were moving along who you… she was.”
“Let’s drop the pretense, Noah. This is the part of the story I know. Intimately.”
He smiled. “Fair enough. It wasn’t until I saw him look at you, right after I whispered in your ear, that it clicked he was calling you ‘D’ for Darla. I almost stopped. But after seeing how much he wanted it, I just couldn’t let him down, especially knowing he would try to do this with someone else. Plus, I was just too turned on. The thought of fucking a woman while someone watches turns me on, yeah, but after that night? Fucking a woman when the man watching loves her? And being instructed by that man to fuck her, and fuck her well? That seems to be my latest kink.”
He narrowed his eyes. “It’s weird, Darla, but I have carnal knowledge of you, and it was fucking awesome. By far, it was in the top two best sexual experiences I’ve ever had, yet sitting here with you, right now, the thought of having sex with you just does not appeal to me.”
“Gee, thanks,” I scoffed.
“At least not without the thought of him watching. Plus, I just couldn’t do that to my friend.”
“I gotta tell you, the feeling is mutual. I find myself preferring girls. Jase is the only one…” I trailed off.
He smiled. “That’s a shame for men everywhere. Gotta say… I did tell the truth that night. That really was the best blow job I’ve ever had, Kung-fu Grip.” He winked.
I laughed. “I’m guessing you’ve had a lot?”
He shrugged. “Probably more than the average bear. Being a SEAL has its perks.”
“I imagine. Well, you have a pretty talented tongue yourself there, Boo Boo.”
The waiter laughed as he put my plate in front of me.
“Hey, Boo Boo, show Tomas here how you can roll your tongue.”
Well, look at that. I didn’t know Navy SEALs blushed.
I continued to tease. “Tell him what to do with it. That can be part of his tip. Trust me, the ladies will be lining up for you. They’ll call you ‘Tomas the Tongue.’”
Tomas grinned. “They already do, and so do some boys.”
“Oooh, lucky little Tomas.”
“Every day.” He sashayed away.
“I can certainly tell why both of the important people in my life think you are irresistible, Darla.” He lifted his glass in salute. “You are utterly charming.”
I sighed. “I miss him, Noah.”
“He misses you, too, Kung-fu.”
“Great. Now I have a nickname.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, well… It fits.”
Thirteen
2008
“Cold as Ice” - Foreigner
“Before I say anything, you have to promise to say yes,” Charlie blurted, bouncing on her toes, as I walked in the office late, as usual. It was our last official day in the office in San Francisco. We were set to move everything next week and begin in L.A. the week following. I still hadn’t found an apartment, and I really was not jazzed about moving in with Charlie, not for any other reason than we were too much alike.
“I’m not promising anything, Chuck.”
“Ugh. I told you. Stop. Calling. Me. That!”
I grinned. “You said to stop calling you Chuckles. I called you Chuck.”
She glared at me for a minute. “You really know how to take the wind out of my good news.” She turned on her heels and huffed away.
I put my stuff in my desk, turned on my computer, and walked in her office to find her pouting in her chair.
“Jeez, Drama Queen, tell me your news.”
She brightened and put her elbows on her desk. “Transcendental called. The creator and writers love you. They are looking to make your character pivotal to a story arc for the last seven episodes of the season with the option of returning if they are picked up next season. Are you interested?”
I flopped down in the chair, stunned. “What?”
“This series wants you, and they need to know by Monday. Apparently this show’s rabid fan base fell in love with you, too, so the writers need to know if you are willing. They don’t want anyone else. If you are unavailable, millions of fans will be disappointed.” She looked up at me innocently. “You don’t want to disappoint the fans, now do you?”
I just sat there with an open mouth.
Yeah, it was fun to do it once, but could I do it again?
“Please say yes, Darla. Although I should probably start calling you Darby now.” She squealed. “A star is born.”
“You’re ridiculous, Chuck.” I stared at the desk and whispered, “It was just a small part.”
“There are no small parts, Darby. Only small actors. Can’t call you small, though. You’re larger than life. The show knows this. This is a gateway to bigger and better parts.”
“No way. I’m not that good.”
She rolled her eyes. “God. You didn’t see yourself in front of that camera. You were in your element. I’ve seen people who’ve been acting since they were toddlers not look as comfortable as you did on that set.” She got up and walked around her desk. “You, as Darby, were born to act.”
“I can’t leave you without an assistant.” I was reaching and I knew it. “I won’t quit my day job.”
“Well, then you’re fired. Hate to tell you this, but you, as Darla, suck as an assistant. You’re always late; you’re unorganized. You haven’t learned the programs on the computer. You send people to the wrong auditions. You forget to remind me about deadlines… Hell, I do more than half of your job for you. I only kept you on because I like you, and with all the down-in-the-dumps, ‘Oh, I miss Jase,’ shit you have going on, firing you seemed too much like kicking you when you were down.”
I blinked. “Harsh.”
“But not untrue.” She smiled. “And now that you’re jobless, you have to say yes.”
I thought for a minute. “You just fired me, so I need income. When will they need me?”
“The first week of February,” she said hopefully. “And you aren’t fired until you start on set.”
“That’s… next week. I barely have time to find and train my replacement.”
“Oh, God, please don’t train anyone.” She scoffed. “Wait, does this mean you’ll do it?”
/> I bit my lips to hide my smile at her excitement. “As long as you find me a place to live.”
She smiled. “Deal. I know just the place.”
~~~
Standing in the small two-bedroom, fully-furnished, gleamingly stark-white apartment, I pulled Charlie aside. “I cannot live with Noah.”
I can’t do that to Jase.
“You’re not living with Noah. You’re borrowing an apartment in his security company’s building, one that your brother will use when he returns. C’mon, this is the perfect place.” She started ticking off on her fingers. “It has its own parking garage connected to the building, which means it’s super safe, so when you get uber-famous, you don’t have to worry about fans. It’s close to both the office and the studio with no freeway driving. There’s a full gym, complete with a trainer at your disposal. You have access to a chef who will make any healthy food you want at no extra charge, and bonus, you’ll be surrounded by all these hot military guys.”
Yeah, but none of them are the only man I want.
“Not interested.”
“Fine. I’ll have them deliver your stuff to my place. Oh, we’ll have so much fun. We can do each other’s nails, braid each other’s hair, debate about who’s better, *NSYNC or Backstreet Boys, or better yet, Britney or Christina. We will watch chick flicks, have late-night pillow fights…”
“Alright. Stop.” I shook my head trying hard not to smile. “You just described every high-school nightmare sleepover I ever attended.”
She beamed. “I know. You told me at our New Year’s party.”
“Blackmailing me with drunken confessions? Not cool.”
“Aren’t you always going on about the universe setting your path? This…” she held out her arms and turned in a circle. “This is perfect. And coming over to visit my brother forces me to check on you whenever I can.”
“Why isn’t Noah here to help you convince me?”
She turned away from me. “He left last night to go handle some big emergency, but he’s the one who suggested you stay here.” She sighed. “Why are you being so difficult about this? It solves all of your problems.”
I really wasn’t sure how to answer that question. It didn’t feel right for some reason. I took off to look around the apartment. It was small, one might call it cozy, and I could see myself living here.
I took the moment to really analyze why I was so reticent to take the Reeds up on their offer. Maybe I felt it was a betrayal to Jase. For some reason, he kept coming up in all my decision making lately. Why, I wasn’t sure. We decided to be friends. He left to live in another country. I had no obligation to consider him in making decisions on where I lived or what I did, yet I still felt this strong need to be faithful to him, to make choices with him in mind. He didn’t know yet that Noah and I had met; we decided to keep quiet for now.
Would Jase mind me living this close to the man he watched me fuck? Would he be jealous? Would he hate me? Would it end our friendship?
Maybe my reluctance to move in here was because he loved me, and I loved him. I had said that to no other person before him. It affected me deeply, even if it didn’t work out for us. I felt an obligation to him because of it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.
Or could it be because I hadn’t hooked up with anyone since our tryst? Maybe I did just need to get laid.
I checked my phone. It was 3:00 p.m. here, which meant it was 11:00 p.m. in London. Fuck it, I dialed.
“Hello,” a female British accent crooned. I was thrown for a minute, so she repeated, “Hello?” a little more irritated.
“I’d like to speak to Jase Heywood, please.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but he’s sleeping,” she said quietly, like she didn’t want to disturb him. Did a slutty floozy who is sleeping with him seriously just fucking ‘ma’am’ me? “Would you like to leave a message?”
My world crumbled at that moment. A jealousy so intense filled my soul, I couldn’t help it.
“Yes,” I said, in a voice so sugary, I made myself sick. “If you would kindly tell him he’s a mother-fucking, cock-sucking, asshole, that would be great.”
I threw my phone with force, sending a lamp crashing to the ground.
Charlie ran in the room.
“Darla?” She moved cautiously toward me, like I was a rhino about to charge, which I guess made sense since I did want to hit something.
I started pacing. “I need to move my shit in here. I’m taking it.”
“What changed your mind?”
The words spewed forth angrily and quickly, complete with spittle. “For some reason, I felt loyalty to Jase and figured I needed him to be okay with it before I made this move into an apartment really near his good friend. I called him. Some British bitch answered and said he was sleeping.”
She looked down. “That doesn’t mean…”
“She’s in the room with him while he’s sleeping, answering his phone,” I said incredulously, punching the air around me, “and it’s 11:00 at night. What else could it be?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. “Yeah, that does look bad. But remember, last time you assumed…”
“No. I’m done putting my life on hold. I’m done pining away for a man who refuses to touch me, but will touch ugly British bitches.”
“Actually, British women aren’t…”
“Not the time, Chuckles. In my mind, she’s a troll.” I stopped pacing and calmed my voice. “I’m done not being me anymore. Tonight, we’re going out, my friend. It’s time for Kung-fu to rule again.”
~~~
Noah insisted he drive me to my first day on set at my new job. He said it was to make sure I wasn’t late on my first day, but I got a vibe from him there was more to it.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He glanced at me sideways and nodded. “Why do you ask?”
“You just seem… I don’t know, off, ever since you got back from your trip.”
“Maybe that’s because I’m fielding calls from Jase asking about you.” He looked at me pointedly. “Maybe you should call him so he’ll stop bugging me.”
“The phone works both ways, Noah. If he wanted to know about me, he could call me instead of you.”
He raised an eyebrow and stared forward. I could see the wheels turning in his head, figuring out what to say. “You left him a message calling him a cock-sucking asshole. Forgive him for taking the hint.”
“Correction: I called him a mother-fucking, cock-sucking asshole to a woman who answered his phone at 11:00 at night and told me he was sleeping.” I crossed my arms across my chest and lowered my voice. “So forgive me for thinking he was fucking her when he wouldn’t fuck me and made me fuck you.”
He pursed his lips, much like my mom does when she is disappointed in me. “He didn’t force you to fuck me.”
I looked out the passenger window and leaned my forehead against it. “Maybe not, but I was deemed unfuckworthy by him, and this woman...”
“And you haven’t even tried asking him about her? Why?”
I sighed, closing my eyes tightly. “Maybe I just don’t want to know why he chose her and not me.”
He pounded the steering wheel. “Jesus Christ, Darla, when are you going to get past this? It happened six fucking months ago and you are still whining.”
I whipped my head toward him. “I’m not…” Biting my lips, I sighed. “Okay, I am whining. But he really hurt me, Noah, deeply. He’s the only one I have ever allowed to have that power over me.” I added softly, “I wanted him so badly, and he didn’t want me.”
He pulled the car over and slammed it into park.
“First of all, you already should have learned your lesson about jumping to conclusions. The last time you did that, you wasted three months apart. You didn’t see him in that time, but I did. He was completely destroyed.
“Secondly, he did want you, so much it almost killed him. Fuck, he still wants you, Darla. Why can’t you get it through you
r thick head? That woman? He did not sleep with her.”
I turned toward him and smirked. “How do you know? Were you… there? Again?” I raised my eyebrow.
“Jesus, Darla. Absolutely not.” He grunted, closed his eyes, shook his head, and ground his teeth. “You know, you haven’t exactly been celibate since he left.”
I breezily stated, “I was until I heard that slut’s voice.” He did not relax. “And, not that it’s your business, I may have flirted, but I haven’t had actual sex with anyone since he left.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s true. And why are you getting so bent about this?”
He pursed his lips again, staring at me, and took a deep breath. “Look, last I checked, you two left it as friends. If he was having sex with anyone, it shouldn’t concern you.” He put it in drive. “Now, call him and apologize, and get the fuck over yourself.”
Fourteen
Six Months Later
“Rock ‘N’ Roll Fantasy” – Bad Company
“Oh my Goddess, that was brutal,” I griped. “Are the questions always like that?”
It was the end of July, and I attended my first San Diego Comic Con for Transcendental. It was trippy. We just got finished with our panel “discussion,” which was really just a Q&A for the fans. The cast was being escorted to the green room so we could wait for our private meet and greets.
“Yeah,” Brantley Ford, one of the stars of the show, answered. “These fans are great, but they sometimes get a little crazy.”
“Like how they kept calling me Lyric? They do realize I’m a chick who plays the role, right? I mean the placard in front of me had my actual name.”
“Sometimes after these things, I have to remind myself that my name is not Sean,” Brantley chuckled. His clear blue eyes sparkled through his mop of artfully messed brown hair.
“They do ask some crazy shit, though. One time, we were asked when our characters were going to come out as gay,” Dakota Jones, the other star, smiled, showing his sexy dimple and perfectly straight, gleaming white teeth against his perfect dark lips. I felt every woman on the planet sigh dreamily.
