‘Hell’s teeth!’
***
My love, we have a son. He has dark hair and dark eyes – the Boleyn colouring, I am told. I shall return and stay with Aunt Meg until I am churched and back at court. My mother-in-law has informed my husband and he returns from Ireland soon to see the child. I would meet with you privately before that. I love you more with every breath, and I ache to see you again. Until we meet, my love, I am your Lily.
***
‘You lads have worked really hard today,’ said Robert as he sluiced water over his head.
‘Thank you, my Lord.’ Tom Sadler and Ed Knollys spoke in unison. Robert laughed.
‘Do you think you would be ready to take part in the joust for the Queen’s celebration then?’ he asked them both. Their eyes widened and they jumped to their feet.
‘Yes, my Lord.’ Tom nodded enthusiastically.
‘Honestly, my Lord? You think we are good enough?’ Ed looked at Robert with wide eyes.
‘I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you would be good enough, lads. I don’t want you showing me up at the joust, now do I?’ Robert pushed his wet hair from his eyes and smiled at both boys. ‘And when you are good enough for that, who am I going to train? Haven’t you got any brothers coming up?’ He nodded at Ed, ‘You must have, Ed?’
‘Well, my Lord, I have brothers, but I think the only one that will come for you to train will be Dickon, and he isn’t old enough yet. My father is training my brother Franc in his office, and my other two, Tommy and Hal are already soldiers in Ireland.’
‘As old as that, are they?’ Robert’s brows rose in surprise.
‘They did their training in Frankfurt, my Lord. We were not in England then.’ Robert nodded his understanding; everyone remembered the difficult times.
‘What about you, Tom? Any brothers for you?’
‘Richard is already working for my Lord Walsingham, my Lord.’ Robert rolled his eyes and Tom smiled, ‘Ted is soon to be a page, and Harry is yet in the school room.’
‘I will look forward to meeting them when they come to court,’ Robert smiled his dismissal and the boys went to sluice their own heads.
‘My Lord,’ the terse steel voice of Thomas from the shade of the tower made Robert look across to see Lissey Sheffield crossing the grass towards him, a vision in rose pink silk with accents of black on her skirt and sleeves, and a beautiful white lace ruff at her throat. Robert smiled as she reached him and made a low bow.
‘Lady Sheffield, what a pleasure to see you this morning.’
‘For me too, my Lord. Could you spare a few minutes to walk with me in the garden yonder? I would speak with you a moment.’
Robert looked at her curiously, wondering why she wanted to walk and speak to him, rather than whisper to him across the pillow.
‘Of course, my Lady. A moment while I get my jerkin.’ He reached over the fence and grasped his black leather jerkin from where he had dropped it, then shrugged it on over his damp shirt. He offered Lissey his arm and they walked along the gravel path towards the garden. Robert felt Thomas move away from the wall and follow them at a discreet distance.
‘About what do you wish to speak, my Lady?’ Robert made his question formal as they passed the last of the squires seeing to the horses in the stable yard. They walked through the gate and the gardens opened up in front of them, leading down towards the ornamental lake and the slow river beyond.
Lissey tightened her grip on his sleeve and directed him towards the path to the river, past the beautifully landscaped rose gardens and lawns.
‘I wish to speak privately, my Lord. When we are seated, I will tell you.’ Robert handed Lissey to a seat overlooking the water, but hidden behind ornamental shrubs and climbing roses. Thomas, he knew, was within calling distance.
‘My Lady?’ Robert took a seat beside Lissey and looked at her with smiling eyes. He thought she looked really beautiful today, her skin was pink and glowing, and her golden hair was swirled and plaited into a series of intricate loops. Her ruff highlighted her slender neck, and she wore no fischu to hide the burgeoning globes of her breasts. Robert gazed at the tops of her lush breasts, and suddenly his stomach dropped and he gasped.
Lissey looked at him with her calm blue eyes and smiled.
‘Yes, Rob. I am with child. Your child.’
Chapter 40
obert took a deep breath and looked at her intently.
‘Are you sure, Lissey?’
Lissey laughed and shook her head.
‘There are two questions there, Rob. Am I sure the child is yours? Yes, I am positive. I have had no other in my bed since you and I …. rediscovered … one another.’ She laughed again and raised her eyebrow at him. ‘Am I sure there is a child? I am as sure as a woman can be,’ she shrugged.
‘What do you want to do about it?’ Robert didn’t know what to say. He was annoyed with himself for being in this position; for being weak and unfaithful to Elizabeth. He wanted to treat Lissey as honourably as he could, but he really didn’t want her to demand marriage. Amy’s face loomed suddenly large in his mind and he closed his eyes, taking another deep breath.
‘I don’t want you to marry me, Rob.’ Lissey put her hand on his arm, and he looked up at her. ‘I want this child to be mine.’
Robert shook his head, trying to understand. ‘Of course it will be yours, Lissey. You will be the child’s mother.’
‘I have two other children, Rob. Both were claimed by their father’s family after he died. I would have this one as my own, to raise as I see fit, without interference.’
‘I should not try to interfere, Lissey. My life is here, you know that. I would acknowledge the child as mine.’ Robert felt his stomach drop at the thought of Elizabeth’s reaction to the knowledge that he had a child. ‘But if you are sure that you don’t want marriage, then allow me to provide what I can for you both.’
Lissey patted his arm again and rose from the bench. Robert got to his feet and took her hand. ‘But I have one request, Lissey, which would mean the entire world to me.’
Lissey gazed at him calmly and raised her eyebrows, then gave a rueful laugh. ‘You want me to keep the child a secret until you have spoken to the Queen.’ It was a statement, not a question. Robert nodded.
‘I would not have her hurt by this any more than she needs to be, Lissey. If you want to retire from court and raise our child in private, then grant me some time to find you a suitable property and make financial provision for you. A week, perhaps two or three, and everything should be arranged for your quiet withdrawal from court life.’
‘Better than banishment, Rob. And believe me, I would be banished for this. I would be lucky to escape the Tower.’ Lissey took a moment to think about his words, then she turned again and regarded him evenly.
‘Very well, Rob. Find me a house, and I shall tell no-one before I leave. I shall retire and my reputation will remain intact,’ her lips turned in a wry smile, ‘as will yours.’
‘Thank you, Lissey,’ sighed Robert, ‘this relieves me more than you can know.’
‘But the child shall have your name, Rob.’ Lissey looked him directly in the eye. ‘You can tell the Queen after I have gone, if that is what you want to do, but make no mistake, this child shall be a Dudley.’
‘I would have you do no other, Lissey. I would not deny my own child, I assure you.’
Lissey nodded firmly and then turned to walk back to the palace alone. Robert sat down heavily on the stone bench and watched the river as he thought how best to break the news to Elizabeth.
***
Robert knocked at the door of his sister’s rooms, which wer
e opened by her maid. He walked in quickly as the maid dropped a curtsey. Robert looked across the room. ‘Can I speak to you, Kit, as my last remaining family at court?’
Kit nodded a dismissal to her maid, and indicated Robert to join her in a chair by the fireplace.
‘Of course, Rob. I am glad of your company. Harry is trying out his newest horse and I am not on duty with the Queen until later. Sit yourself down and pour us some ale.’
Robert sat in the chair opposite his sister and filled two small mugs from the ale jug on the table. He passed one to Kit and she looked over the rim and raised her brows questioningly. Robert sighed and closed his eyes briefly. The only way to tell her was to just say it.
‘Lissey Sheffield is with child. My child.’
‘Oh, Rob!’
‘I shall have to tell Bess, and I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I quake at the thought of how angry she will be. But tell her I must.’
Kit leaned forward and patted Robert’s knee in sympathy.
‘Is Lissey going to remain at court, Rob? Has she said what she will do? What she wants you to do?’
‘I will buy Lissey a house, Kit. God knows I’ve money enough now. But she is going to give the child my name, sister. I will have to tell Bess the truth.’ Robert drained his cup and poured himself some more.
‘You won’t marry her then, Rob?’
‘No, Kit, I won’t. She always knew that. I would be completely cast down if I did that. Then I would lose all my income, everything that I have. Everything that I am.’
‘You know, Rob, I always thought that if you hadn’t been married to Amy, then you would have married Elizabeth, before she was Queen.’
‘If I hadn’t been married to Amy, Kit, then I would be dead. Father would have married me to Jane Grey instead of Guildford, and I would be dead.’ He took another long drink and looked at his sister, eyes narrowed and head on one side, wondering if he could tell her the rest. He took a deep breath.
‘Lissey isn’t the worst of it, Kit. Lettice Deveraux has had a son.’
‘Walter’s child surely, Rob. Before he went to Ireland.’ Robert shrugged and Kit’s eyes widened in horror as she took his meaning.
‘Oh, God. Rob. You are such a … Will you tell Elizabeth that, too?’ She tilted her head as she looked at her brother with sympathy.
‘God’s blood, no! We might be wrong, and either way, the child will be a Deveraux. I will have enough forgiveness to seek for Lissey. More than that and I would be back in the Tower.’ Robert drained his cup and then stood, smiling down at his sister.
‘Thank you for listening, Kit. I have no-one else to tell this to. Ambrose is away from court at his estate, and sister Mary is delivering yet another child.’ He closed his eyes briefly in frustration at his own tactlessness in reminding childless Kit of their sibling’s growing family.
Kit smiled unconcernedly, ‘Mary is the only one of us to keep Father’s blood going, it seems. Until you and Lissey, of course.’ She laughed softly and stretched up on her toes to kiss Robert’s cheek.
‘Don’t worry so, Rob. Elizabeth still loves you to distraction. If Lissey is away from court in her own house, the Queen will forgive you. She has a great capacity for only seeing what she wants to see, a trait she has inherited from her father, if truth be told. If she doesn’t see Lissey, then to her Lissey won’t exist.’
‘I hope you’re right, sister. But I still have to find my courage to tell her.’ Robert walked to the door. ‘I shall just have to choose the right moment.’
***
‘A private supper tonight, Robbie? What a wonderful idea.’ Elizabeth beamed at the table set in her presence chamber with slices of beef swimming in thick gravy, baskets of fluffy bread rolls, fresh butter and cheese, and pots of syllabub and plates of sweetmeats.
‘I thought it would be a rest for you, Bess. After all the urgent council meetings that have been held, about Scotland as well as Ireland, and then the public suppers you have had to endure. I thought a quiet meal in your apartment would hold an appeal?’
‘You always know exactly what I want, Robbie. Even before I know myself.’ Elizabeth gave Robert her hand and allowed him to lead her to the table. He had made sure that the candle light was sufficient to see by, but not overly bright. Since Elizabeth’s illness she no longer liked the lights to be too bright in the room.
He kissed her cheek gently before she sat down, and he felt under his lips the dusting of face powder she had taken to wearing in public in an effort to mask the scars the pox had left on her skin. Robert felt saddened that her confidence was so lacking that she felt she had to hide.
‘Oh, Robbie. What is this?’ Elizabeth held aloft a packet of silk wrapping, tied with a ribbon that he had placed on her plate. ‘A gift Robbie?’
‘Something small, Bess. A trifle to make you smile. I have sent some new fabrics to your dressmaker to stitch into new gowns for you, but I wanted you to have something to unwrap. My gift to welcome you back to my side.’ Robert smiled at her excitement, and poured them a goblet of wine while Elizabeth undid the ribbon and unrolled the silk.
‘Robbie, they are truly beautiful.’ Elizabeth gasped in pleasure as she looked at the new gloves that emerged from the wrapping. They were of finest kidskin and they were embroidered on the back with a tracery of gold thread and tiny seed pearls.
‘I’m glad they please you, my love.’ He handed her the wine and took a long drink himself. ‘Over supper I would speak with you about the celebration I have arranged for you. I thought the weather in May might be more settled than at Easter, so we will rejoice at your recovery at the beginning of May.’ Elizabeth nodded eagerly over her own cup, and picked up a roll of bread to spread with butter.
‘But first, my Bess, I have something I must tell you.’ Robert took her hand and she put down her bread, smiling and shaking her head.
‘What is making you sound so grave, Robbie?’ As she looked into his eyes, and their serious depths gazed back at her, the smile faded from her lips and her forehead creased in a worried frown. She swallowed.
‘Just tell me.’
Robert fell to his knees in front of her and kissed her knuckles, then lowered his head and pressed them to his forehead. He dragged a long breath.
‘Lissey Sheffield has left court because she is having my child, and I wouldn’t have you distressed by her presence.’ He stopped and could feel Elizabeth’s hands tremble in his own. He moved her hands from his face and kissed them again, then dared to look into her eyes.
‘Forgive me, Bess.’
‘While I was ill, Robbie? You got her with child while I was ill?’ Elizabeth’s voice rose in question. Robert nodded wordlessly, waiting for the whirl of fury he had expected.
‘You were not careful? As you are with …..,’ Elizabeth stopped and he saw her throat bob in a swallow, and heard her clear her throat of tears. ‘You well know how to be careful, Robbie. Did you not see the need? With her?’
‘She didn’t seem to heed whether we were careful or not, Bess. So I …. I …,’ his voice trailed away; he didn’t want to discuss this with Elizabeth.
‘And now she carries your child,’ Elizabeth stated flatly.
‘I think that was her design all along, Bess. She wants to bring up the child by herself, away from court, with no other claim on it.’ Robert remained on his knees, watching Elizabeth as she thought this through.
‘Have you not offered her marriage, Robbie? You are free to marry her, are you not?’
‘You know I’m not free, Bess. I am not free in my heart to marry anyone but you. She always knew that marriage was not a part of our liaison,’ he shrugged, ‘but she didn’t care.�
�
‘So she is leaving court?’
‘Has already left, Bess. She is staying with her family until she has a house of her own.’ He sighed, and hurried to tell Elizabeth the rest so he could apologise and be forgiven. ‘I shall buy her a house, Bess. And settle an income on her for the upbringing of the child. A house away from here. I would not wish you any embarrassment.’
Elizabeth withdrew her hand from Robert’s grasp and stood from the table, pushing her chair back. Robert also stood and watched her pace the room, chewing her lower lip. She stopped at the hearth and Robert walked over and took her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. He bent his head to rest his forehead against hers.
‘Please forgive me, Bess,’ he whispered, holding her trembling body in his hands. He heard her let out a breath he hadn’t realised she was holding.
‘I forgive you, Robbie. I was ill, and you are but a man,’ she sighed, ‘and I love you.’
‘As I do you, my Bess.’ He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, releasing it from her teeth, and he kissed her gently, then as he began to deepen the kiss, Elizabeth pulled away.
‘I have a headache, Robbie. Leave me now, and send Cat in to help me to my bed.’
‘Are you sure, Bess? That it is not …’ Elizabeth cut across his words sharply.
‘I have a headache. Ask Cat to come in as you leave.’
Robert took her hand and kissed her knuckles, then bowed as he left by the gallery door to speak to Cat. He knew he was still a long way from forgiveness.
Chapter 41
ach time I settle down for a good gossip, we get interrupted it would seem. Just a moment, sweetheart, before you tell me the rest. I can hear a commotion in the yard.’ Lettice watched Meg stand up and walk to the nursery window that overlooked the entrance to the stables. She saw Meg’s brows rise as she turned from the window. ‘Whatever is Ralph doing back here in the middle of the morning?’
The Last Howard Girl (Tudor Chronicles Book 3) Page 28
