Connor laughed. This conversation couldn’t have gone better if he’d scripted it. “Sure, I miss sex.” He hesitated, wondering how honest he should be with her. “This is just between us, right?”
“Of course. I would never share a private conversation with any of the others.”
Connor knew it was true. While their other friends did gossip amongst themselves, he’d never heard Maggie repeat anything confidential. Not once. “Yeah, I miss sex,” he said. “I love to explore a woman’s body, her scent and taste, her soft curves. Masturbation doesn’t bring the same pleasure. My hand never feels quite the same as tight, hot pussy.”
Color shaded her cheeks, although she nodded. “I know what you mean. It’s the empty feeling inside afterward that gets to me.” Her smile was rueful. “I’m probably every man’s nightmare because I like to cuddle. Sleeping alone and self-pleasuring isn’t the same.”
He was going to ask her. Right now. The timing couldn’t be better.
A feeling he recognized as terror speared his gut. A lot rode on her reaction to his next question. Connor placed his coffee mug on the counter. “Will you kiss me?”
“A kiss?” A surprised laugh escaped her. “Why?”
“I have an idea, but I need a kiss first.”
Smiling, Maggie leaned close and pressed her lips against his cheek. She moved back before he had a chance to react.
“That wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” Blood rushed through his veins, his heart thudding against his ribs in an erratic manner. Hell, sex between them would be good, if this innocent little kiss was any indication. “A real kiss.”
Connor closed the distance between them and grasped her head firmly in his hands. She jumped at his touch, stared at him, a spark of indefinable emotion darkening the golden brown of her eyes to chocolate. His gaze dropped to her mouth. God, he’d always loved her mouth, fanaticized about kissing it, seeing her lips wrapped around his cock. He snorted inwardly. Like that idea would score him points. Connor brushed his lips against hers. Soft. So soft. The rest of his body went on high alert, cock filling to press against his fly.
She sighed and he took advantage, slipping his tongue inside to taste her. Coffee and a faint minty flavor danced across his taste buds. At first he kept the kiss slow and gentle, then he lifted his head to study her. He liked the dreamy expression on her face, but he enjoyed kissing her more. He wanted her to respond to his kiss, needed to know she felt even a little like he did. Her eager lips and the hands threading through his hair, holding him in place as he wrapped his arms around her again, shot all his doubts to hell.
Slowly, he pulled back. They were both breathing fast. “Okay. That answered my question.”
Maggie smoothed her tongue over her bottom lip and watched him with a touch of confusion. Judging by her expression, she thought she’d taken a wrong turn from the bathroom and stepped into an alternative reality. “What question?”
“Would you be interested in a friends with benefits deal with me?” He held his breath and waited for her answer, knowing he’d never wanted something so much in all his life.
Her mouth opened and closed three times. “Friends with benefits? You mean…we’d sleep together?”
“If we weren’t seeing anyone else.” Damn, please don’t say no. His gut jumped with nerves. He’d pushed her too hard. Of course she’d reject his offer and wonder about his motives.
Maggie picked up her mug and took a sip of coffee, grimacing faintly. She stood and walked over to the coffeemaker, returning with the carafe. “Do you want a top up?”
“Sure.” He held out his mug.
She took a long time, fiddling with the coffee, the mugs and the Granny Smith apples sitting in the fruit bowl.
“Are you going to say something?” he asked.
“Doesn’t a deal like this have the potential to blow up in our faces?”
“Why should it?” he asked, trying to convince her. “We’re not kids.”
“I still don’t understand why you’d choose me.” She started pacing up and down, making him nervous.
“You’re a friend. I like you. I trust you.” Connor wasn’t going to ignore the many pitfalls. That wouldn’t be smart. “We’d set boundaries before we started anything between us. Stop pacing. Sit next to me. I’m not gonna bite.” Not yet, but if things went his way he would in the future. He’d enjoy marking her, leaving her body wearing his badge of possession.
To his relief, she joined him at the breakfast bar, sliding onto one of the wooden stools.
“What brought this on? Why are you asking me instead of one of the others? Julia isn’t seeing anyone at the moment.”
“I’ve always felt comfortable talking to you about anything, including sex. You don’t gossip and you have integrity. I like you.” Nothing less than the truth.
“Oh.” A cute crinkle marred the smoothness of her brow. “I like you too. You’re one of my best friends.” She paused a beat. “Are we still going to the gym?”
Damn. Her words didn’t fill him with hope. He’d made her uncomfortable.
“Of course. I’m not letting you off that easy. You’d have to go through the sore muscle stage all over again.” Had he scared her off? Or worse, she didn’t find him sexy.
“Good. I’m flattered, but I need to think about your…proposition while I’m on the treadmill.” She tried to smile. “Can we talk later?”
Thank you, God. She intended to give him a chance. “Sure, we can. I’ll spring for lunch afterward.”
“I’d like to go to the beach.” Her eyes lit up at the thought. “I do my best thinking at the beach.”
“You do? Why didn’t I know?”
She shrugged. “I guess it’s never come up before.”
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?”
“No, apart from sleeping in and having a lazy day. The usual holiday stuff.”
“My parents have a holiday home at Port Waikato. Would you like to drive out there with me this afternoon and stay the night?” Before she could say no, he added, “We can sleep in separate rooms.” Connor had the absurd desire to grab her and stuff her inside his car. Kidnapping. Old-fashioned ravishment. Yeah. All that stuff. Something about Maggie brought out a dominant gene in him, the need to protect.
“Could I walk on the beach?”
“Anything you want.”
When she wrinkled her nose, his heart sank. He knew what was coming next. She’d tell him to take a flying jump. There went a great friend. He knew he was taking a risk, but it had been worth it. There was no way he could have lived with himself if he’d done nothing and stood aside while another man scooped her up first, from under his nose.
Maggie picked up the empty mugs and stacked them in the dishwasher. “Okay, you’ve got a deal—”
“Then you’ll sleep with me?” he asked.
She laughed. “Not so fast. I’ll go with you to the beach. The other part needs more thinking.” Her grin was a flash of white teeth. “I’ll let you know. Promise.”
Relieved, Connor nodded, brain working at speed. Way to go! He could be very charming, especially around Maggie. And persuasive, especially when he was going after something he wanted.
Looked like his charm gene was in for a major workout today.
Chapter Three
Friends with benefits.
What did that mean? Maggie wondered, breathing hard, her pulse racing as she stepped onto the treadmill. Wild, monkey sex whenever they felt the need? No-strings sex? Organized or spontaneous?
Connor’s suggestion stunned her so much her mind had blanked. She had to admit it was difficult to pass Go when her brain commenced a continuous loop centered around a splendidly naked Connor.
She jogged in place on the treadmill, the pounding beat of a song with lyrics about someone who was crazy filling her head. The music wasn’t loud enough to drown out her thoughts, although when the next song mentioned fools in love she thought about kismet and serendipity. Did she really want
to do this? Have sex with Connor?
Hell, yes.
Was it a good idea?
Probably not.
So many things could go wrong. What if they found themselves incompatible in bed? The last thing she wanted was to lose Connor’s friendship. She had to admit it wouldn’t make her popular with the rest of the Tight Five. They all agreed he hadn’t steered them wrong when it came to advice about the male sex. Susan, in particular, felt strongly about the friends-only rule because her ex-friend—the one she’d had since pre-school days—had waltzed off with Susan’s fiancé one day before the wedding. Susan didn’t like to talk about it much, but she put loyalty first in any argument. And Maggie had a feeling that Christina was more interested in Connor than she’d let on.
The thought gave Maggie pause. She hated the thought of hurting her friends and had tried to cast her growing feelings for Connor aside. It wasn’t working. The wretched man taunted her in dreams, steamy naked dreams that had her waking in a real state. It made every other man pale in comparison.
Connor’s track record was part of the reason she’d consider this friends with benefits deal, although she needed more details about how this arrangement would work.
And lastly, there was also the fact he changed girlfriends on a regular basis. If he did that with her, she didn’t think she’d recover—she liked him that much. Something to ponder. Oh, and the fact she’d be breaking the pact she made with her friends. Could she live with a guilty conscience? That was a real biggie.
Then there was her father and stepmother. The treadmill program went into warm-down mode, slowing before coming to a stop. Grabbing her towel, Maggie wiped the sweat off her forehead and throat while the next song started on her iPod—the New Zealand band OpShop singing about one day. She didn’t hear the lyrics. All she could think about was that there might never be another chance with Connor. Despite her father’s lectures about scandal and keeping a low profile, she’d kick herself if she said no and had to watch Connor with yet another woman. She didn’t think she could handle that—not again. Only a fool would let this opportunity slip through her fingers. Benefits. Yeah, she could see them, but the pitfalls, the potential for pain and loss…was it too much to risk?
She couldn’t forget her promise to her friends. If she messed up with them, no doubt there would be huge consequences. She’d have to lie to them, and that didn’t sit well with her. She let out her breath slowly.
The rest of her workout passed in a daze, and by the time she exited the changing rooms to join Connor, her head whirled with mental arguments, but she’d decided to take a chance on love. Surely wanting love wasn’t such a bad thing? If Connor still wanted to change the dynamics of their relationship, she’d risk it and go along with the idea, keeping her fingers crossed for the future.
She hoped she wouldn’t regret it.
“Hey, how was the workout?” Connor asked, giving her an admiring glance.
She clutched the bag containing her workout gear closer to her chest. She had to admit she was nervous about this whole arrangement.
“Good.” A laugh escaped and her features contorted when she pulled a face. “Nah, that’s a lie. Exercise hurts like hell.”
What Maggie didn’t tell him was that she realized for the first time she’d managed to get through the entire workout without worrying about collapsing in the middle of the gym and drawing attention to herself. Thinking about Connor and his proposition had let her zip through the workout without too much stress. Amazing.
“How about we go back to my place so I can pack a few clothes?” Connor said. “Then we’ll stop at your apartment and grab a few groceries at the supermarket on the way?”
“I’ve never visited your apartment before. Do I get the tour?” Their gazes met. A flutter started in her belly. Oh, boy. Maggie took half a step toward him, intent on touching, brushing her fingers across his jaw to test the roughness of his stubble. She inhaled sharply. Yes, this would be so easy between them. So easy to let go and let the emotions rule her. Lust. Sex. Togetherness.
“You want to see my bedroom?” he asked, a husky note entering his voice.
“If you want to include your bedroom on the tour,” she tossed back with a casual shrug. Inside nerves quaked while anticipation banked, arousal taking off like a sprinter to race the length of her body. A distinct dampness pooled between her thighs. “Will your flatmates be there?”
“Probably not. They’re away for the weekend.” He offered her a sexy smile. “We’re gonna talk. That’s all.” He brushed a strand of hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Hash everything out between us so there’s no misunderstanding later when we hit the bedroom.”
“All right,” Maggie said, surprised not a single qualm remained in her. She trusted him to keep his word.
During the drive to Connor’s central Auckland apartment, they talked about rugby, exercise and the upcoming work function neither of them wanted to attend. Unfortunately, the partners frowned upon employees who dodged their gatherings.
Maggie was surprised to see that Connor’s apartment was small with two bedrooms—not much space for three men. If she stood on tiptoes and looked out the window of the compact lounge, she could see a sliver of Rangitoto, the dormant volcano island that dominated the harbor. The distinctive cone was visible from most parts of inner Auckland.
Turning back to Connor, she said with a smile, “Great view.”
“Yeah, I like it.” Connor reached for her hand and tugged her down a short carpeted passage to a bedroom. “Sit on the bed while I grab some clothes.”
Maggie noted with interest the king-size bed and modern streamlined furniture constructed of white pine and chrome. A shelving unit, bulging with books of all sizes, covered part of one wall. So the man had an intellectual side as well. Interesting. She took two steps and plunked onto the corner of the bed. The cotton duvet cover made a crinkling sound when she settled on it, the bold tribal design and spice, ochre and black shades making her think of ethnic art and exotic lands. A large window filled most of another wall with views over the harbor. The water sparkled, despite the sluggish winter sun, and two yachts flew across the white-tipped waves, their white sails billowing in the breeze. Yes, she could learn to like it here. No doubt.
Connor opened a wardrobe and grabbed a green bag. He tossed in sweats, a pair of jeans and a couple of T-shirts, along with a sweater. Maggie turned to watch him, her heart rate accelerating as she studied his taut backside, his ease of movement. Soon, very soon, touch between them would be acceptable. Excitement flared deep inside her, a shiver of anticipation working free to give away her state of mind and rapid arousal.
A cough cleared the thickening in her throat. “What sort of things do we need to discuss?” She had a fair idea but wanted him to tell her. Of course, whatever he said would have a final bearing on her decision. Although she lusted after him, she wasn’t foolhardy. An agreement of sex between friends had explosive potential, and not necessarily all confined between the sheets. Heck, who was she kidding? She’d already made her decision.
The thought brought her parents to mind. Immediately, she shoved their stern faces away, locking the door on mental lectures. Geographical distance and her adult status meant their opinions didn’t count. Despite what her furious and distraught father said, she was nothing like her mother. One bad experience hardly compared to several torrid affairs and three marriages to public figures with the resulting messy divorces.
“First, it’s essential we have complete honesty between us,” he said with a serious tone. “If you have any doubts, tell me. This won’t work if we’re not honest with each other. We need to communicate.”
His intent gaze told her he was sincere when it came down to nothing but truth between them. She thought back to previous boyfriends, the lies—both big and small—and nodded without hesitation and scarcely a flinch. Honesty remained important to her in a relationship.
Tingles sprang to life, tickling across
her skin like champagne bubbles. An image formed in her mind, one of her draped across the arm of a chair. Connor standing behind her, a hairbrush in his hand. Heat stained her cheeks until they were as hot as her bottom would feel after several loving blows.
Her pulse quickened, imagining the scene. “What else?”
“Safe sex.”
Oops, something she hadn’t considered and should have. “That goes without saying. Are there more rules?”
“We don’t date.”
“No dates? I’m not sure I understand. Do you mean with each other or with other people?”
“What I mean is no courtship rituals are necessary. If you agree, we have sex whenever the mood strikes both of us.” He paused, his eyes looking her up and down, making her shiver, then continued. “If either of us starts seeing anyone else, we tell the other. If we meet someone else and decide to sleep with them, we talk about it. It might mean we continue sleeping with each other and it might not.”
He opened a drawer and pulled out socks. Out of another, he grabbed underwear. Connor stuffed both items in his bag and zipped it closed. “We don’t tell the others. This remains strictly between the two of us because I don’t want to answer their nosy questions.” His gaze drilled into hers, as if he wanted to impart the importance of the rules. “Also, respect for each other. And most important of all, we need to keep our emotions out of this. If your feelings change about our deal, you need to tell me. I’ll do the same. Any questions?”
A tight band formed around Maggie’s chest, growing tighter as she listened to Connor spell out the rules in his husky voice. What was she getting into? Lovemaking should be spontaneous. It shouldn’t come with rules.
“Have you done this before?”
“Once, when I was at university in Dunedin.”
“Oh.” A flash of envy struck her. Heck, why not call it jealousy, because that’s what it was. The idea of Connor with a lover fanned the flames of resentment. Another woman in the same bed made her feel even worse, so how would she cope if he decided to call off the agreement between them to date someone else? “How long did you—?” She broke off to gesture with her hands when the words wouldn’t come.
The Bottom Line Page 4
