This time their lovemaking was slow. They dragged out every last sensation in no hurry to finish. Their breaths mingled and each soft, tormenting stroke created an empty ache in her womb. She ran her hands down his back and dug her fingers into the taut globes of his ass, silently encouraging him to move. They only parted for the length of time it took for Connor to don a condom before coming together again. Strained breathing and sighs gave way to pleasure, the coil of energy in her pussy exploding into a shattering climax only seconds before Connor came. They stayed clasped together for a long time while their breathing returned to normal.
Sleepy and content, Maggie let her mind drift. As usual her mind went straight to her blog and spanking. She thought about Connor and her promise to herself to strive for honesty. She even opened her mouth, ready to speak until another thought occurred. If Connor worried about turning violent like his father, how would he react when she asked him to spank her?
Sunday passed quickly. Maggie had expected Connor would leave her to visit the doctor on her own, but he insisted on going with her. After a quick stop at her place so she could grab clothes, they went to a walk-in clinic in a part of town they knew no one would see them and saw the doctor together. The doctor suggested they both take blood tests, so they did. They left armed with prescriptions and advice to use condoms until the birth control protection was viable.
That evening, alone in her flat, Maggie thought over the hours she’d spent with Connor. He made her feel cherished, and she knew without a doubt, he would never hit her. He’d never tread the same path as his natural father. Now all she had to do was convince Connor of something she knew was fact.
How do I approach my partner and ask him to spank me?
I’ve met a man I really like. The sex is great. More than great. And even better, we have a good relationship out of bed. I want to take our relationship to the next stage. How do I ask him to spank me when I know something in his background makes him abhor the whole idea of this sort of kink?
I really don’t know what to do now. It’s true I’ve had more time to think about spanking and the repercussions of adding it to my sex life. When I approach him, I know he’ll be both shocked and reluctant. But I also know myself. I won’t be happy until I try this. The more I read both online in blogs and forums and also in erotic romances featuring spanking, the more I want to explore this for myself.
I was ready to ask last night. I’ve decided honesty is something to strive for—a good thing, I think. Anyway, I opened my mouth to state my desires and he started talking, asking questions about my childhood. I didn’t mind answering. Like many New Zealand children, I come from a broken home where both my parents remarried and I was plunged into a blended family. Some of you are probably nodding because you’re in the same situation. But what do you do where your partner comes from a violent background? What do you do if he’s worried about turning into the same violent monster his father was? How do I get him to come to terms with the fact that if I give him permission to spank me, he’s not dropping into the same dark pit that haunted his father?
I’ve tried patience. I really have. Some of you might say I should forget this and grasp the happiness I’ve found already. I can’t do that because that would be allowing myself to settle.
I don’t know what to do, how to approach this problem. My mind is going in circles, and I’m starting to get frustrated. I don’t want a stranger to spank me. I know I could do that—pay to have someone spank me—but I know in my heart that it wouldn’t work. I want love and laughter along with my spanking. I want rich fantasies and silly role-playing. I don’t want to settle for second best.
If you have any advice for me, I’d love to hear it. How did you introduce spanking to your relationship? Did it happen by accident or was it a planned thing introduced to bring spiciness to your relationship?
Connor read the post with growing alarm. His heart thumped so fast it felt as if he’d run a hundred meter sprint. He wanted Maggie, not just for now, but for the future. They were good together. A curse slipped free.
Why the hell had she picked up that bloody book?
With a glance at his watch, he grabbed his car keys and slammed from his apartment to do what he’d been putting off. He’d hoped Maggie would let go of this spanking idea. But no, she continued to blog on a regular basis and had attracted quite a following. A sensation he identified as jealousy clutched his chest, squeezing so tight it felt as if someone had applied a vise, clamping it shut around his ribs.
He didn’t know a lot about his mother’s first marriage, mainly because he’d been a child when it happened and she’d protected him from the worst of the violence. But right now, he needed answers. He needed to reconcile his love for Maggie with her desire for spanking. And he needed to do it quickly, before he lost her to another man.
Half an hour later, he knocked on his mother’s door before opening it and shouting a greeting. Two cars sat in the driveway, so he knew they were at home. He’d been so wound up he hadn’t thought to call ahead.
His mother appeared from the lounge. “Connor, what are you doing here?”
Frank appeared beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist. “What your mother means is that we’re pleased to see you.”
He exchanged a grin with Frank. “Aren’t I allowed to pop in to see you whenever I feel like it?”
“Of course you are,” his mother said. “We were about to have a barbeque. Can you stay? You are still coming for my birthday?”
“I’d love to have dinner, and I wouldn’t dare miss your birthday,” Connor said. “Although isn’t it a bit cold for a barbeque? It looked like rain when I was driving up here.” The crash of thunder punctuated his words and rain rattled the windows with enough force to make them all look outside.
“You brought that rain with you.” The twinkle in his mother’s eyes belied the stern words.
Connor grinned again, pleased he’d come, despite the circumstances that brought him. “Don’t you ever listen to the weather forecasts?” Although he’d thought about inviting Maggie and maybe the others for his mother’s birthday, he’d changed his mind. It would be like making a statement of intent, and he didn’t want to do that, not publically at least.
“I look out the window,” his mother retorted. “I make the right forecast most of the time.”
“What can I get you to drink?” Frank asked. “Gabby and I are drinking wine, but we have beer if you’d prefer.”
“You two go and catch up,” his mother said. “I’ll get Connor a beer and start cooking the steaks.”
Connor accepted a beer and followed Frank to the lounge. He sat then bound to his feet. He found himself pacing, unable to settle. Belatedly, he became aware of Frank studying him in a quizzical manner.
“Problem?”
With his round glasses frames, Frank reminded him of an owl. A wise old owl.
“Yeah. I’m not sure how to say this so I’m going to lay it out fast before I die of embarrassment.” Connor paced another lap of the lounge, the movement helping him to concentrate. “I’ve met a woman, someone I really like and want a future with. She wants me to spank her as part of our lovemaking, and I’m worried I’ll hurt her. I…I…what if I take after my father?”
“Connor,” his mother said from the doorway. “Son, you’re not like Larry. You have the most even temper I’ve known. I’ve never seen a hint of Larry’s violence in you. Never.”
Frank smiled a gentle smile, the one that told Connor how much he loved both his mother and him. The same smile he’d always showered them with. “At least you stopped his pacing. I thought I’d have to spring for new carpet for the lounge because he was wearing a track.”
“Mum, I’m sorry you had to hear. I know you don’t like talking about him.”
“Connor.” His mother looked as if she might cry.
Hell. Connor glanced at Frank and wished he hadn’t come to visit his parents. He took a couple of steps toward the door.
Connor froze.
Frank chuckled. “Take a seat, son. You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.”
“I want to hear about this woman who has you tied in knots,” his mother said. “Besides, it’s nasty out there. Do you want me to worry about you driving home in the middle of a storm?”
He caved, sinking into the nearest chair. What had he expected? That he could drop his bombshell and escape without taking return fire?
“Dinner won’t be long,” his mother said.
“Do you need any help?” Frank asked.
“I can cope with cooking a few steaks,” she said. “You stay with Connor. Give him the talk.” She winked and the adoring look that passed between them made Connor feel like a voyeur.
“Have you talked to her about what you’re feeling?” Frank asked, getting straight to business.
Connor grunted, the sound containing severe irritation. “I’ve started to talk a million times but it’s…I keep wimping out.”
“I know it’s not easy, son, but the main thing is communication.” His eyes sharpened. “How do you know she wants you to spank her if you haven’t discussed the matter?”
Connor felt his cheeks heat, aware his reply wouldn’t show him in a good light. “She has a blog where she discusses spanking. One of our friends told me, so I’ve been reading it.”
“And she doesn’t know.” Frank picked up his wine glass and took a sip, his manner slow and purposeful. Thinking-mode, Connor realized, remembering Frank looking the same way on numerous other occasions while he was growing up.
“She doesn’t know I read her blog.”
“Connor Grey,” his mother said, barging into the room. “I can’t believe you’ve been spying on this poor girl.”
“It must run in the family,” Frank said in a mild voice. “Gabby, I thought you were cooking the steaks.”
His mother ignored Frank’s quiet reprimand to focus on him. “Sweetheart, there’s a big difference between abuse and consensual loving.”
A vision swept his mind—one he’d rather not have. “Mum, I don’t want to talk about sex. Frank, what do you think about those All Blacks? Man, they choked in their last game against the Wallabies.”
His mother wrinkled her nose. “I do know about sex.”
“Nah, you found me in a cabbage patch,” Connor said. “How do you think the All Blacks will go against the Springboks?”
“I should have told the stork to take you right back and bring me a little girl. I’m sure she wouldn’t resort to underhand behavior. Sweetheart, you need to talk to her, tell her what’s on your mind and why you’re having a problem with the idea. If everything is in the open, you’ll find your relationship much easier. When can we meet her?”
“It’s early days,” Frank said, coming to his rescue. “Give Connor a chance. I’m sure he’ll bring his friend to visit when he’s ready.”
His mother nodded. “Personally, I think the All Blacks will give the Springboks a whopping and send them back to South Africa with their tails between their legs. We’ll win the rugby match by at least twenty points. I’d place good money on it.”
Connor grinned. “How much do you want to bet?”
“Twenty,” his mother shot back. “And a promise you’ll bring your young lady to visit.”
Connor’s grin faded as he acknowledged the problems lying between him and a future with Maggie. Lies. Lots of lies. A good man would have left well alone, but Connor admitted the truth to himself. He wouldn’t have done a thing differently. He and Maggie were good together. They could have a future. All he had to do was prove it to her.
Chapter Eight
“A speed dating event,” Connor said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.
Susan tossed her head. “You don’t have to go. Guys have an easier time meeting women to date,” she added. “But quite frankly, I need all the help I can get. I want to find a man and settle down. I want to have children, and I’m running out of time.”
They all stared at her, and she met their looks with one of quiet determination.
Maggie hadn’t realized Susan wanted children so bad. She risked a quick glance at Connor and found him studying her.
“I hope this maternal cluckiness isn’t catchy,” Julia said into the distinct uneasiness that had overtaken them after Susan’s outburst.
“I’m not going to apologize,” Susan said, tossing her head. “Besides, my mother is driving me nuts. All my sisters are married. She’s convinced my ovaries will wither, and I’ll die an old spinster.”
“I hope you told her to butt out,” Julia said.
Susan let out a loud sigh. “She means well. And I do want to get married.”
“That doesn’t mean you should settle for second best,” Christina said. “Mr. Right doesn’t always come along straight away.”
“Look, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” Susan forced a smile.
“We don’t expect you to apologize,” Maggie said. “You can’t help how you feel.”
“The speed dating was a suggestion. I’m going and thought it might be fun if we all went.”
Maggie felt bad for Susan. Wanting security and a child wasn’t so different from wanting to find a man who would spank her. Deep down she wanted the same things Susan did: security with a man who loved her.
“I’ll go with you,” she said. “It sounds like fun.”
Connor looked as if he might argue, and Maggie glared at him.
“I’m in,” Julia said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “It will make a change from drinks at the pub.”
“Sign me up too,” Connor said.
“Really?” Maggie asked.
“Yeah, really. Susan is my friend and I want to support her.” Connor’s voice held a trace of defensiveness. “When is it?”
“Are you trying to weasel out of it?” Maggie asked in suspicion.
“No, it’s my mother’s birthday coming up. If it clashes with the speed dating, I’ll have to pass.”
It was the first Maggie had heard of his mother’s birthday. She blinked against a sudden surge of moisture to her eyes. Her throat tightened, and she swallowed rapidly to dispel the sensation. Despite constantly reminding herself she and Connor were casual lovers, she couldn’t stop the possessive thoughts filling her mind. She wasn’t even looking for another lover. Connor had spoiled her, and every other man came up lacking in comparison.
She wanted to do normal couple things. All the sneaking around had started to get old.
“It’s next week. Thursday night at eight,” Susan said.
Christina checked her PDA. “Works for me.”
“My mother’s birthday is on Saturday,” Connor said.
“What about rugby practice?” Maggie asked.
“We have a bye this weekend.” Connor picked up his beer and took a sip. “There’s no training this week.”
Maggie crossed her legs. “I’m free.” She noticed Connor watched the move, his gaze lingering on the expanse of thigh displayed by her new skirt. Connor hadn’t been the only one paying attention. She received requests for dates from two of the lawyers at the firm next to them. Greg also continued to ask her out, despite her firm negative answers.
Maggie stood. “I’m going to head home. I’m tired. Someone decided I needed to change my workout. If anyone tells you to take up running to vary an exercise routine, run far and fast in the opposite direction. My thighs are killing me.”
Connor smirked. “Poor baby.”
The other women grinned.
“You wouldn’t catch me running,” Julia said.
“You don’t have to battle weight like I do. I just need to think about a dark, moist and decadent chocolate brownie and weight sticks to my thighs and butt.” Maggie sniffed at their derisive laughter. “I’m going home to soak in the bath.”
“I’m going too,” Connor said, standing. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Night,”
Julia said, lifting her right hand in a casual wave. “Anyone for another drink? We could split a bottle of wine.”
“Sounds good to me,” Christina said. “I’ll buy. I’ve taken on two makeover clients this week. Retirement from Barker & Johnson is looking better every day.”
“Congratulations, Christina. I’ll see you at rugby tomorrow.” With a quick wave Maggie followed Connor from the crowded bar.
Outside, he took her arm, holding her protectively against his side to help combat the swirl of icy wind.
“Come home with me,” he said.
“I don’t know,” Maggie said, fighting temptation. “We have work tomorrow and I really am sore after running.” She also wanted to check her blog for comments. So far, most of her visitors had said the same thing. She needed to talk to her partner. Easier said than done. The last thing she wanted to do was scare Connor away. Besides, what happened if he met someone else and their friends with benefits deal ended? What would happen to her then?
“Doctor Connor to the rescue. I know just the thing to fix sore muscles.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to his SUV. Maggie fought her conscience for about two seconds before meekly allowing him to seat her in the passenger seat. She watched his face when he jogged around the front of the vehicle. As usual, he was smiling, his dark looks making her heart clench with longing. She wished Susan hadn’t brought up babies. She’d love to have children. One day. A sigh escaped and she leaned her head back against the headrest, letting her eyes close. She hadn’t lied when she’d said her body throbbed in one big ache. This running lark was killing her. She needed her head read. How had she ever thought running was a good idea?
Connor started the SUV and Maggie let herself drift.
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