“But you only need a license if you’re selling liquor,” she said. “Right, Don?”
“You’re not selling liquor?” He looked, understandably, skeptical.
“I’m not.” She hadn’t collected even a dollar so far. “This is all beer and cider I’ve made. Or wine and stuff we already had. It’s all our personal stuff. And we’ve haven’t charged anyone anything.”
Don looked around. “So it’s really just a party?”
“Exactly,” Brynn said. “Just a celebration.”
“What are you celebrating?”
“Brynn’s decided to stay in Bliss even after our year is up,” Cori said, looping an arm around Brynn’s waist.
“Yep. We’re all going to be here for good,” Ava said, putting her arm around Brynn’s shoulders.
Don paused, then took a breath. “Well, God help us,” he said. Then grinned. “Okay, keep the noise level down and make sure everyone gets home safe.”
“Of course,” Brynn assured him.
“Have a good night.” And he headed out.
But Hank stuck around.
“So, Mr. Mayor, you going to stay and keep an eye on us?” Cori asked.
“Actually,” Brynn said, extricating herself from her sisters and stepping forward to loop her arm through Hank’s. “Hank is here to be my date. My sixth date.”
Hank looked mildly surprised, but he nodded. “Best offer I’ve had in a long time.”
And she could really use his advice. Next to Evan and Parker— who were pissed at Noah—and her father—who was, obviously, not available—she guessed Hank would be the next person in Bliss to have some insight into Noah and what was going through his head.
But she didn’t need to know what Noah was thinking. She needed to know what Rudy had been thinking. And Hank was the best one to ask.
“Okay, well you two have fun,” Cori said to them.
“And be a doll and bring us a couple of ciders,” Brynn told her over her shoulder as she led Hank to a table.
Cori rolled her eyes and Brynn grinned. She kind of saw why Ava liked being the boss.
And then it hit her. She was the boss here. She was going to be running the bar. She was going to be in charge, taking the lead, the face of the business. And she felt what could have been panic at that. But Hank pulled out a chair for her and she slid into it, took a deep breath, and looked around again.
She wanted this. It was unexpected. It was a risk. Not necessarily financially. It was the only bar in town, for one thing. For another, she was still a billionaire. She could run a nonprofit bar if she wanted to. But it was a risk to her comfort, what was familiar to her, to who she thought she was. At least, who she’d been before coming to Bliss.
And she was ready.
“I’m…amazed,” Hank said, taking in the shop around them and then picking up the glass of hard apple cider Cori had set down. He sipped. Then nodded with a sound of approval. “Nice.”
Brynn smiled. “I’m guessing Rudy wouldn’t have expected this.”
Hank set his glass down. “I wondered when we were going to talk.”
Brynn arched a brow. “You knew I’d want to talk?”
“Eventually.”
“But I always go along with everything,” she said. She knew he could hear the note of bitterness in her voice. “If my dad told you all about me, surely you couldn’t have expected that I’d veer off the path and go against the plan.”
Hank folded his hands on top of the table and leaned in. “Maybe not expected, but hoped, Brynn.”
She looked up. “You hoped that I’d finally learn to go against the grain?”
“Not me. Your dad.”
Brynn felt a little wave of shock go through her. “My dad hoped I’d go against the grain?”
Hank nodded. “He’d hoped that you’d find something in Bliss, or maybe just Bliss itself, worth doing that. You’ve never had something that really tempted you to go against the status quo.”
She started to respond, but then sat quietly. That was true. She hadn’t thought about quitting the lab because she hadn’t had anything that mattered more, that made her feel…more…than it did. She’d been dedicated to the lab and the work. It had been easy to feel like it was worth committing to. Because it was. Until something else, something more, came along.
“He knew that?” she asked Hank.
“He did.” Hank took a breath. “He also knew that he was never enough to make you want to…try, I guess,” he said, finishing with a shrug. “It was easier for you to keep the walls up between you because he didn’t make getting closer to him worth trying to tear them down.”
She frowned. “He never tried either.”
“No.” Hank shook his head. “I know he didn’t.”
She breathed deeply. “He wanted me to go back to New York. After everything he found here, after all the happiness he felt here, he told Noah that he wanted me to go back. He didn’t say that about Cori or Ava.”
That was what had been bugging her about what Rudy had said to Noah. Why would Rudy specifically say that he wanted her to go back to the city? As Noah had pointed out, Rudy had been very particular about the things he’d laid out as instructions. All of them had reasons. Why would he feel the need to push her back to New York?
Hank reached out and took her hand. “If your dad wanted you to go back to New York for sure, no questions, he would have put it in the trust. He wouldn’t have just told Noah.”
That was a good point. “So why’d he do it?”
“What did he say to Noah exactly?”
“That he wanted Noah to send me back to New York happier and more confident.”
Hank nodded. “Do you feel happier and more confident?”
“I do.”
“Then go back to New York.”
“But…I don’t want to be in New York.”
Hank smiled and squeezed her hand. “It says you need to go back, not that you have to stay.”
And suddenly, it all made sense.
She had to go back, with the option of staying in New York, of the easier path, or coming back to Bliss. She had a choice. There was a path laid out for her, if she wanted that. But if she really was happier and more confident, then she could choose another path. One that she could make her own.
“I have to help Noah understand this,” she said, squeezing Hank back. “He has to understand that Rudy didn’t mean for me to follow any certain path. And that’s why he didn’t pick any guys out for me. Including Noah. That all has to be my choice.”
Hank nodded, but he was clearly hesitating.
“What?” Brynn asked.
“Noah needs to make a choice too, Brynn,” he said gently. “Noah is self-sacrificing to a fault. Rudy knew that. He knew Noah would take great care of you, but Rudy couldn’t tell him that he wanted you to end up together because Noah would have just…done it. He would have been with you because Rudy wanted it. But he should make a choice too. He should decide what he wants, what makes him happy.”
Brynn felt her heart tightening in her chest. Hank was right. Rudy was right. But… “Will he do that?” she asked softly, scared of the answer.
“Well,” Hank said, not nearly as confidently as Brynn would have liked. “He’s never been in love before, so I think there’s hope in that.”
Yeah. Maybe. But, Brynn realized, that Noah’s choice wasn’t between her happiness and Rudy’s happiness.
It was between what he thought would make Rudy happy and what would make Noah happy. And Noah never worried about his own happiness.
* * *
“Alex, it’s Noah. Hey, did you guys put the new vanity in at Maggie’s place?”
“No, man, we just got the toilet done.”
“So you only came over that one Sunday?” Noah clarified. He’d hated calling them in to bail him out, but he’d had to prepare for the river party and, well, Maggie needed her bathroom done. It had killed him a little to not be the one doing the work, but he’d c
hosen to do what he needed to do for Brynn instead.
“Yep. Just the one time. Why?”
“Because I’m staring at a brand new vanity in her bathroom,” Noah said. “And I didn’t put it in.”
“Huh.”
Huh? That was all Alex had to offer? “You didn’t hear from anyone else? No one said anything about doing it? Maybe someone on your crew?”
“Nope. Nobody’s said anything.”
“Can you ask around?” Noah asked, gripping his phone tightly.
He realized he was overreacting to the situation, but he’d kept all of his other emotions under a tight lid since he’d let Brynn walk away three nights ago. Something was going to have to give. And it might be his cell phone. Or this fucking brand-new vanity in Maggie’s bathroom.
“Sure thing,” Alex agreed. “I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.” Noah disconnected. What the hell? Maggie had called somebody else and they hadn’t told him. There was no one in Bliss or for at least a twenty-mile radius that didn’t know the rule about calling Noah when they heard from Maggie. And she knew it. He was sure she did. It was a weird balance but it worked. Kind of. They both got what they needed anyway—he got to take care of her and she got stuff done. For free even.
He turned on the faucet. Which worked perfectly. He looked underneath the sink. Everything was hooked up correctly. He wiggled the vanity. It was solid. Well…fuck.
She must have called someone farther out. Which meant he was going to have to do some digging to find out who it was and make a deal with them too. It meant more discounted work on his part in exchange for them letting him know when Maggie called. And more people thinking he was a little crazy.
He slapped the countertop and then pulled his phone out. He could start with the contractors over in Gerrison, he supposed. But before he could dial anything, he heard someone behind him.
He swung around. And came face-to-face with Maggie. For the first time in well over a year. Probably more like two.
“I put the vanity in myself,” she said.
Of all the things he’d thought she might say to him, that wasn’t even on the list of remote possibilities. He glanced back at the vanity, stupidly. “You did it?”
She propped her shoulder against the doorjamb to the bathroom and crossed her arms. “I did. I know how to do a lot of things. Jared taught me a lot.”
Noah felt like she’d reached in and sucked all the air out of his lungs. They hadn’t spoken in so long that it seemed almost surreal now. And they hadn’t said Jared’s name to one another in nearly six years.
Long, heavy seconds ticked by between them and finally Noah forced himself to speak. “I wanted to do it for you.”
“I know.”
He blew out a breath and tucked his hands in his back pockets. “But you did it anyway.”
“Yes. Because I don’t want you doing this stuff for me.”
On top of losing Brynn—okay, pushing Brynn away—Noah felt the pain of that more acutely than he probably would have otherwise. She’d always felt this way. This wasn’t new. But hearing it out loud, now, sucked.
“Maggie, Jared asked—”
“This isn’t what he meant,” Maggie broke in.
Noah stopped, a knot in his gut. “What do you mean?”
“Jared asked you to take care of me,” she said. “If he was ever not here to do it himself.”
Noah nodded. The plan had always been for Jared to come home, run the garage, and take care of his mom. “Right.”
“But he taught me to do stuff like mow the lawn and air up my tires and—” She gestured toward the vanity. “—lots of stuff. That’s not the kind of taking care I needed.”
Noah frowned. “But you weren’t taking care of yourself, or the house, when I got back.”
She leveled him with a look. “And you think that’s because I didn’t know how to mow the lawn?” She shook her head. “It was because I didn’t care. I didn’t have anyone coming home. I didn’t have anyone but myself to keep the house clean for.”
He shifted his weight and looked at the floor. He felt like shit about running off to the Marines the way he had and not being here. “You have friends.” He looked up. “Right?” Please God, say yes.
Maggie was his friend’s mom. Noah had come over here to camp out in their backyard and to eat cookies after school and to play catch with the football and to play video games. He’d made out with his first girlfriend in Maggie’s basement. He’d tried spinach for the first time at her dinner table. He’d slept on her bedroom floor with Jared after they’d stupidly watched horror movies after dark. She was someone who’d always made him smile, who said that she was proud of him, who he liked. But he’d never given much thought to Maggie as a person. She and the house and the yard were all part of one big…impression on his life. He came here to be a guy. In a house full of women—women he’d been put in charge of taking care of—he came to Jared’s to just be a guy who could watch football in peace, eat pizza rolls until he felt sick, and where he didn’t have to worry about anyone or take care of anything.
Until Jared had died. Then it seemed like this house and this woman were loaded on top of Noah’s shoulders too. And yes, he’d mourned the loss of the carefree feelings he’d always had here.
Maggie nodded. “I had friends. But I didn’t want to go out or have people over and slowly, over time, they got frustrated with trying and quit calling and coming over.”
Noah swallowed again, hard. Fuck. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
She tipped her head. “When?”
“After…when I enlisted.”
She sighed. “You haven’t been here even since you’ve been home.”
He frowned. “I’ve been here. I’ve done everything I could do. Even stuff you wouldn’t let me do.”
“But, like I said, I didn’t need someone to clean my house.” She paused and straightened from the doorway. “I needed someone to make me care about having my house clean.”
“I—” But Noah had no idea what to say to that.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. “I didn’t realize it at first either. But, because you were coming over anyway, even when I told you to stay away, I started leaving. And then coming back home. And I guess I had to walk out of the house to walk back in, knowing you’d been here, to really see it.” She sighed. “You did help me. You did take care of me that way.”
He didn’t feel placated exactly, but he’d take it. “I’m glad.”
“But recently I’ve realized that I don’t want to leave the house when you come over anymore,” she said. She met his gaze. “I would really like to stay. And spend time with you.”
Noah started. “You would?”
“Someone gave me some advice recently. Advice about being happy. And that doing things to make other people happy is great, but if it makes you unhappy there’s something wrong.”
That sounded strangely familiar.
“And I realized that leaving when you come over might kind of make you happy because you can do your thing around here and feel like you’re helping. But it doesn’t make me happy. I want to be here. With you. And I think maybe, deep down, it doesn’t make you happy either.”
“I don’t mind doing any of this, Maggie,” Noah said firmly. “I’m happy to do it.”
“Happy to do something and happy are not the same thing,” she said. She stepped forward, into the bathroom. “And I would really like to know that you’re happy.”
He felt his throat tighten unexpectedly. “I’m—” But he couldn’t finish the sentence. Because he wasn’t sure what he was.
“I watched you grow up,” Maggie reminded him. “I knew you before your dad started deploying again. You would come over and be loud and boisterous and make a mess with Jared. I’d have cookie crumbs and muddy footprints all over this house. And I’d have to tell you both to slow down and quiet down.” She smiled. “And I loved it. And I remember distinctly the change that happened wh
en your dad started leaving again and put you in charge at your house. You got so serious. You were so much more careful and conscientious.”
Noah gave a soft laugh, though he didn’t feel amused. “That’s not a good thing?”
“Not in a kid,” Maggie said, shaking her head. “Not in you. I was so happy that you could still come over here and let go a little. It wasn’t the same. It would take almost an hour before you’d relax. But it was good to see.”
“And then Jared and I left,” he said, his voice hoarse.
She nodded. “I was upset. I didn’t want either of you to go. It was totally selfish, I admit that. But that’s really how I felt. And…” She trailed off and took a breath. “And then after he died, I was in a bad place for a long time. You did remind me of him and that was hard. You were like a second son to me, but having you around right after did remind me of what I’d lost. And that was…it was just the way it was. I wish I’d felt or acted differently, but I can’t change that.”
Noah nodded. He didn’t blame her. “I know. Me too. I wish I’d come back right away.”
“I know you do,” Maggie said. She gave him a small smile. “And I know how you found me made you feel even worse. But—” She straightened. “I’m better now. And I want to get even better. And my friend gave me some really good advice.”
“So you do have a friend now?” he asked. He was kind of teasing her. But he also really wanted to hear that she had a friend.
“I do. A few of them,” Maggie said. “Some from before. They didn’t all leave me. And then Kayla, this young gal who seems to think I’m kind of interesting.”
He gave another soft laugh, this time feeling it more than before. “I’m glad.”
“And, of course, Brynn,” Maggie said.
Hearing her name was like a knife to his heart. He was going to have to get used to that. If she was staying in town, he knew he’d be hearing her name a lot. But the hurt was fresh, and he couldn’t help the wave of want he felt when he heard it now.
“You and Brynn are friends?”
“I hang out at the pie shop while you mess around here,” she told him with a wry smile.
“And Brynn gave you some advice about me?” He couldn’t help it—he wanted to know.
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