by Hazel Kelly
I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t have to add that last part.”
“You didn’t have to snoop in my sock drawer.”
“I wasn’t snooping,” I said. “I didn’t have any clean socks.”
“Are you telling me the reason you freaked out and drove up here is because you found the ring?”
I shrugged. “I know it’s ridiculous, but-”
“Ridiculous isn’t the word I would’ve used.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Worrying,” he said. “That’s the word that came to my mind.”
“I know.”
He brought his hands together and looked down at his lap.
“It’s not that I don’t love you.”
“You just don’t love me enough.”
“No.”
He looked at me. “And you don’t think you ever will?”
“I’m sorry.”
He nodded and stared at the purple shag carpet in the middle of the floor.
“Isn’t it better that I told you sooner rather than later?”
He cocked his head. “It would be better if you loved me back.”
“I do love you.”
He fixed his eyes on me. “Just not the way I love you.”
I pursed my lips.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
I desperately wanted to open a window, but it didn’t seem like the moment to leave his side.
“Why would you move in if you didn’t want a future with me?” he asked.
“I thought I did.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Until you found the ring?”
I nodded.
“Was it the princess cut? Would you prefer a marquise-?”
“It’s not the ring, Henry. And it’s not you. It’s me. Really.”
It’s always me.
Chapter 12: Connor
I couldn’t believe she did her fake laugh for that guy. I’d totally forgotten she did that, and now it was haunting me.
And I know I didn’t imagine it. It happened too many times. So what the fuck was she doing with him?
Sure, he seemed alright, but she was a free spirit, and he was obviously a stick in the mud compared to her.
Maybe she’d changed. Maybe she wasn’t the Laney I used to love. Maybe I’d dodged a bullet.
And yet, despite the weirdness of her behavior since she arrived, deep down I was still convinced I knew her better than anyone.
“Same again,” Timo asked?
“Sure,” I said, checking my watch.
“Dave meeting you?” he asked, filling a fresh glass.
“He’s supposed to be.” I drained the last of my beer and slid it to his side of the bar.
“Must be on Dave time.”
I nodded. “As usual.”
Timo set a pint of Daisy Cutter on my cheap coaster and went to attend to some local fireman across the room who were downing pitchers faster than they were breaking darts.
I looked at the door and then back at my drink. It wasn’t just the fake laugh that was bothering me. It was the fact that Henry was obviously into her, and she’d clearly been lying to him as she saw fit.
The whole display made me feel kind of sick. Not because his well-being was any of my concern- the guy looked reasonably capable of looking after himself- but because I couldn’t say for certain that I hadn’t been just as much of a schmuck.
For all I knew, I was that guy.
After all, there was no question I was blinded by love back then, but what if everyone around me could tell she didn’t care about me as much as I cared about her. Was that even possible?
I clenched my jaw.
If it had all been a show, she’d duped the shit out of my parents, too. And my friends. Right? It wasn’t just me. It couldn’t have been. The love I felt for her was still the most real thing I’d ever felt.
And if it wasn’t real, didn’t that make me some kind of crazy person?
“Sorry I’m late,” Dave said, sliding onto the barstool next to me.
“It’s fine,” I said. “But you’ve got some catching up to do.”
“What’ll it be, Dave?” Timo called from the far end of the bar.
“Whatever Connor’s drinking and some chili cheese fries.”
Timo nodded and went to the small window that opened into the kitchen.
“Chili cheese fries?” I asked.
He nodded. “It’s meatloaf night.”
I furrowed my brow. “So you’re deliberately spoiling your dinner?”
“It’s not real meatloaf,” he said. “Amber’s gotten all into this turkey tasting soya bullshit.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means you could dribble her meatloaf like a basketball.”
“Do the kids like it?” I asked.
“Only cause they don’t know any better,” he said. “And because they’ll eat anything that tastes like ketchup.”
I swallowed a sip of my beer. “Does she always make healthy stuff?”
“She didn’t used to,” he said. “She used to delight the whole family with chicken nuggets and fish sticks and all the other things that taste like happy childhoods.”
“So what changed?”
“I don’t know. Some queen bitch told her about the healing properties of quinoa and kale and now everything has gone to shit- literally.”
“Have you told her how you feel?” I asked.
He looked at me like I had six heads. “Do I strike you as the kind of guy that sits his wife down to discuss his feelings about kale?”
“There’s a right answer to this question, isn’t there?”
He nodded as Timo brought his beer and got stuck straight into it. “God that’s good.”
I smiled.
“Heard you had breakfast at Helly’s?”
I tilted an ear towards him. “How do you know that?”
“Saw her at the post office,” he said. “For a second I thought she was trying to sell me your tomatoes.”
“They are good ones.”
“She told me Laney’s in town.”
I nodded.
He raised his eyebrows.
“What?”
“How is she?”
I shrugged. “She seems out of sorts. Not that I would know what her normal sorts are these days.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And she’s stunning as ever, unfortunately.”
He shook his head. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
“Why?”
“You should stay away from her, man.”
I cocked my head. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t you remember how she put you through the ringer?”
My grip tightened around the cool base of my glass. “We were kids then.”
“Not if I was old enough to make kids then.”
“It’s not like I can’t be around her. It’s not like I’m still in love with her.”
He fixed his eyes on me.
I craned my neck back. “What?”
“You’re playing with fire, Connor.”
“I’m not playing with anything.”
He sighed. “Well, she is.”
“Sorry?”
“She’s playing with your emotions,” he said. “I don’t even have to see you together to know that.”
“She’s doing know such thing.”
“She kept you from thinking straight for four years. Don’t you think that’s enough time to waste on her?”
“None of those years were wasted, Dave.”
He scoffed. “Whatever. She can’t be trusted.”
“I’m not trusting her with anything.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I hate to be harsh, but she’s not like us. I gave her the benefit of the doubt back then, but what she did to you showed her true colors.”
“I don’t think it did.”
“What the fuck? Can you even hear yourself? Of course it did.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t think that was her.”
“Which part wasn’t her? The part where she broke your heart or the part where she made it clear for months afterwards that she wasn’t sorry about it?”
I swallowed.
“That’s what I thought.” He lifted his glass. “She’s not the girl for you, man.”
“Then who is?”
“I don’t know… Tiffany Ascot? Emily Wilson? One of the Detgens?”
I rolled my eyes.
“What?”
“None of them do anything for me.”
He craned his neck forward. “None of the Detgens do anything for you? What are you on animal drugs?”
I laughed. “Yes. Didn’t you know? That’s why I really became a vet. So I could pop worming tablets and give myself flea treatments.”
“Don’t be a smartass,” he said. “I’m only trying to help.”
“I don’t need help.”
“Maybe not, but you do need to keep moving forward and not look back, especially in the direction of Helly’s house when Laney’s there.”
“I think she’s in trouble.”
“She’s always in trouble! That’s how she gets you. Can’t you see that? She’s a user.”
“Don’t talk about her like that,” I said, taking a swig of beer.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh please. She’s not your girlfriend any more. It’s not your job to defend her honor.”
“I never thought it was my job. I thought it was a fucking privilege.”
He groaned.
“I was thinking of bringing her to the barbeque if she’s still in town.”
He squinted at me. “Why would you do that to yourself?”
I shrugged. “She might like to see some old friends. I bet Amber would like to see her.”
“She didn’t just turn her back on you, Connor. She turned her back on everybody.”
“No she didn’t. She just went off to college like the rest of us.”
Dave flinched.
“Some of us,” I corrected. “But I’m not going to bring her around if you’re going to be an unwelcoming jerk.”
“I’m not going to be a dick to her. You know I’d be her best friend on Earth if you asked me to be, but I’m also not going to lie to your face and tell you I think letting her back into your life is a good move.”
“Good thing I don’t need your permission.”
Dave shrugged. “Just tread carefully, man. Fool me once as they say.”
I couldn’t argue with that. It was true I’d been a fool for her.
But as much as she hurt me, I couldn’t forget the good times.
And I didn’t want to.
Besides, it’s not like I was going to fall for her all over again.
Chapter 13: Laney
I loved that little twin bed.
It was like a coffin in the best sense, just big enough for me and my racing thoughts.
Suddenly, I sat up and reached for my phone.
The busy clatter of the noisy diner answered the phone even before Edy did.
“Edy, it’s Laney.”
“Hi.”
“Can I talk to Warren?”
“Ummm.”
I waited while she looked around.
“Yeah, hold on a second.”
I ran my fingers through my hair.
“Make it quick, Laney,” he said when he got on the phone.
“I quit,” I said. “That quick enough for you?”
“You can’t be serious-”
I hung up to show him that I was, and I felt equally hysterical and elated as soon as I’d done it.
Then I decided I would allow myself to feel good about no more dirty plates and rude customers and being sniffed by strange dogs because of the bacon smell in my clothes and pores.
And under no circumstance would I fret about having no income and no job and no clear direction.
Not yet.
Not for at least two whole minutes.
“Come in,” I said when I heard Helly’s soft knock on the door.
“I brought scones,” she said, pushing the door open with her hip. “And homemade jam.”
“Amazing,” I said, scooting to the edge of the bed.
“Remember how I used to bring you fresh scones when you’d sulk in your room as a teenager?” she asked, laying the tray on my child sized desk.
“I do.”
“And how you used to tell me everything?” she asked, handing me a plate of jam filled scones.
I laughed. “That’s not quite how I remember it, but I suppose I might’ve told you a few things.”
Her kind eyes smiled. “Are you ready to talk about this morning?”
“I need to ask you something first.”
She pulled the simple wooden desk chair out and sat down. “Go on.”
“Can I stay here for a while?”
She raised her eyebrows.
“I hate to ask a favor of you when you’ve already done so much for me, but-”
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Of course you can stay.”
I felt my chest loosen. “Thanks, Grandma.”
“You’re welcome. You remember the house rules?”
“No cats inside and no crystals out?”
She nodded. “And no blowing dandelions in the yard.”
“Right.”
“Even if they are your favorite.”
I smiled.
“You can blow them in Connor’s yard, though,” she said. “Something tells me he wouldn’t mind.”
“Connor’s a pest,” I said. “And you shouldn’t have invited him to breakfast.”
She tilted her head. “Really? I think it’s that other young man I shouldn’t have invited.”
“Henry?” I asked, breaking off a piece of warm scone.
“Yeah,” she said. “He’s the one that ran over the mailbox on his way out.”
My eyes grew wide as I chewed. “What?”
“You want to tell me what would make such a put together guy back over my mailbox?”
“I broke up with him.”
She nodded. “That explains why he told me ‘thanks for breakfast and goodbye forever’ right before it happened.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s just a mailbox,” she said. “Plus, the postman got a great laugh over how I tried to prop it back up. He came to the door and asked if he could meet the hobbits who were living here.”
I covered one eye with my hand.
“Then he helped me put it in one of my old milk cans so it would be high enough for him to reach it from his truck next time,” she said. “And I think it’s actually an improvement.”
“I’m so glad something good could come out of me breaking up with my boyfriend.”
She dropped her chin but kept her eyes on me. “I think it was a good thing anyway, dear.”
“You didn’t like him?” I asked, taking another bite and relishing the way the fresh raspberry spread burst against my tongue.
“No. He was alright. I just didn’t like you with him.”
“What?”
“I hardly recognized you with the amount of lies coming out of your mouth.”
My shoulders sagged.
“Not to mention the fact that I’ve obviously gotten zero credit for raising you.”
“You know I’m not proud of my past.”
“That’s no excuse to lie to someone like that,” she said. “That poor man thinks he broke up with Laney Price this morning when all he did was break up with some character you were playing.”
“It was a mistake, okay? He’s just from such a normal family-”
“There’s no such thing,” she said. “And I still love you to bits, but you let yourself down.”
“I know, but it was never my intention to hurt him. I just liked pretending to be the kind of woman who was good enough for a man like him.”
She raised a flat palm between us. “That’s absurd, Laney. Who you are is good
enough for anyone.”
I swallowed.
“Besides,” she said. “Honestly is everything in a relationship.”
“I know. You’ve been saying that for as long as I’ve known you.”
“And three hundred years before that, if you can believe it.”
I smiled.
“Do you know what happens when you let lies poison your relationships?”
“Tell me.”
“Well,” she said, pouring two cups of tea. “You know what happens to a glass of milk after you dunk an Oreo in it?”
“Of course.”
“You know how every time you dunk another Oreo in, the milk becomes darker and darker?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“That’s what lies do to a relationship. They muddy it until it’s unrecognizable.”
I pursed my lips.
“And there’s no going back,” she said, handing me a cup of tea on a saucer. “You can’t get the lies out once they’re in.”
“So I’ve learned.”
“How are those scones?” she asked.
“Good enough to spoil my dinner.”
“I was hoping,” she said. “I’m not in the mood to mess up the kitchen again today. I thought we’d have scones for dinner and popsicles for dessert.”
“I’m cool with that.”
“I thought you might be,” she said. “Now get stuck into that other one while I tell you a story.”
“I was going to let you eat that one.”
She shook her head. “I already had too many, and at this age, the skin on my neck doesn’t bounce back the way it used to so I’m cut off.”
I laughed.
“If you catch me reaching for any later, just start mooing at me, and I’ll take the hint.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
She cocked her head. “I would do it for you.”
“Fine,” I said, reaching for the second scone. “Tell your story.”
“Your grandfather wasn’t my first.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“There was a guy before him. He was in the navy.”
“You were a sucker for a man in uniform, huh?”
“Who isn’t?” she said. “I’m only human.”
“Go on.”
“I was crazy about this guy, Laney. I dreamt of having little boys who could grow thick mustaches just like he had.”
“So what happened?” I asked.
“I realized he wasn’t good for me long term… though he was very good short term, if you know what I mean.”
