by Griffin, Gen
“Most of us are morally bankrupt by Lola's standards,” Gauge acknowledged.
Lola sighed at them. “Why is it so hard for either of you to be good?”
“What do you want from me, Lola?” Seth managed to look imposed upon and bored at the same time.
“I want-.” Lola frowned and took a deep breath. “I want the same thing I've always wanted.”
Seth scowled. He started to open his mouth but Lola pressed her finger against his lips before he could speak.
“Jeremiah wanted to make this world a better place. He promised me a better life. He promised safety and equality. I still want that.”
Seth pushed her hand away from his mouth. “I'm not Jeremiah.”
“No, unfortunately you're not. Jeremiah had a conscience and a sense of responsibility to help his fellow humans.”
“Jeremiah's conscience got him killed,” Seth snapped.
Lola looked away from him briefly and then shook her head. “It doesn't matter what happened to Jeremiah. What matters is that Gauge and I have been working on figuring out a way to sneak people out of the city before the king issues orders of execution.”
“You're trying to create an escape route?” Seth pursed his lips at her. Even I could tell that he was interested in the idea.
“We have created an escape route,” Lola clarified.
Gauge grunted. “Lola, I'm not sure that telling him-.”
“Shush and trust me, Gauge.” Lola barely flicked her eyes in his direction. All of her attention appeared to be focused solely on Seth. “We have the escape route. We can get people out of Ra-Shet.”
“If you already have your escape route, what do you want from me?” Seth asked.
“Protection,” Lola said.
“Protection?” Seth frowned at her.
“On the outside,” she clarified. “We can get people out of the city but we have nothing to offer them once they're outside of the walls. No shelter. No food. Nowhere to go for shelter or food. They're completely vulnerable once they leave the city.”
“Zombie bait,” Seth mused.
“We're actually more concerned about the Church of Chaos,” Gauge said.
I blinked at him in surprise. Seth opened his mouth and then closed it again. Lola shot him a pointed look. “People are afraid that they'll be attacked or killed by the zombies that are controlled by the Church of Chaos.”
“Zombies that are controlled by the church?” I frowned.
“If you're from the Cube, you probably don't know a whole lot about the Church of Chaos,” Gauge was speaking specifically to me. “Suffice it to say, no one really knows exactly what the Church is or what its members do. We do know that they can use zombies to do their bidding.”
“Oh.”
“Their high priest is supposed to be some kind of god. People say he can even control the weather.”
“I seriously doubt that,” I muttered.
Seth scowled at me. “The rumors are really getting out of hand these days.”
“We don't know what is rumor or what isn't,” Gauge said. “A lot of people are too afraid to leave the city. Even when staying in the city is almost guaranteed to be a death sentence.”
“And you expect me to change their minds?” Seth asked.
“I'm thinking you could promise them safety once they get outside the city?” Lola was looking directly at him. She had a pointed and intense look on her face.
“Why would I want to do that?” Seth sounded almost amused but he managed to keep a completely straight face.
“Why wouldn't you?” Lola countered.
“Wait a second,” Gauge cut into the conversation and gestured at Seth. “You're saying he lives outside the city?”
“Yes,” Seth said with some obvious reluctance.
“I thought you grew up in the Burroughs?”
“We left. My family and I left.”
“And you're living outside the walls?” Gauge appeared fascinated.
Seth nodded. “I do.”
“And you can just come and go from the city whenever you please?” Gauge pressed the issue.
“Entering the city has never been a problem,” Seth seemed to be weighing his words carefully. “It's the leaving that can get sticky. Why do you think I try to avoid coming here?”
Gauge considered him for a minute and then nodded. “Do you think you might be able to offer shelter to some of our refugees?”
Seth made a face. “You want me to babysit people who are fleeing the city?”
“We need to find a way to offer them food and shelter until they can find their own,” Gauge clarified. “If you're in a position to do that, it would be a significant help to a lot of people who are otherwise in a very bad position. The king is going to raise taxes again within the next year. There are hundreds of people living inside the walls of the city who won't be able to pay. I assume you know what the king does to people who fail to pay their taxes?”
Seth nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. “I'm familiar with the west gate.”
“Jeremiah would have helped us.” Lola's amber eyes were deadly serious.
“I'm not Jeremiah.” Seth practically spit the words at her. He scowled as a stricken look crossed Lola's pretty face. “But if you want me to help your escapees, I will.”
Lola's frown immediately turned back into the sweet smile she had been wearing earlier. She flung her arms around Seth's neck. “I knew you'd help us.”
“You aren't leaving me much of a choice,” Seth grumbled.
The two of them stood in the silence and stared at one another for a long moment. Lola released her hold on Seth's neck and took a step back from him. “I can't afford to be the same sweet little girl you remember. Your brother is gone and you don't care about anyone but yourself. If you want something from us, then we deserve help from you.”
Seth stepped closer to Lola, catching her chin in the palm of his hand. “You've got your deal, but only because I'm feeling generous.”
Lola pursed her lips at him in a mock kissy face. “I've got my deal because you know that you aren't going to be able to save Pilar's parents on your own.”
“I can buy help a whole lot cheaper than what you're asking.”
“You can't buy loyalty.” Lola countered. “My other option is to turn you into the king and collect the price on your head. I could use that money to buy our people safe passage out of the city with a human smuggler.”
Seth laughed outright. “And where would you go from there?”
Lola smiled and shook her head. “You need me, Seth. And maybe I need you.”
“Well, isn't this touching,” Gauge muttered. “Either one of you care to take all this honesty to the next level and tell me exactly why Seth has a price on his head? Or who he really is?”
Lola frowned at him, looking awkward. “It's complicated.”
“You don't want to know,” Seth said at exactly the same moment.
“Try me.” Gauge stepped up so that he was standing directly in front of Seth. His shoulders were stiff and straight. He looked ready to fight.
“You're better off not knowing,” Seth said.
“Not good enough.”
“No, really. He's probably right.” Lola stepped in between them. “Just knowing who he is could be considered a crime by the king.”
“She said something earlier about setting the meat market on fire. I'm guessing you're some kind of rebel?” Gauge was definitely not happy with this latest revelation.
“Something like that,” Seth acknowledged. “I'll make you another deal.”
“Oh this ought to be good,” Gauge said. “Let's hear it.”
“We survive our little trip to Bud Moon's house tomorrow, I'll tell you everything.” Seth held out his right hand in an offer of a handshake.
Gauge took Seth's hand. “If I die before I get my answers, I'm going to come back and haunt you.”
Seth laughed but Gauge didn't look like he was kidding.
Chapter 13
“You could have mentioned that you had a girlfriend in Ra-Shet,” I said as Seth sat down on the edge of the cot that I was pretending to be asleep on.
“What?”
“Lola. You could have warned me about Lola.” I tugged the scratchy blanket over my head.
Seth yanked the blanket back down. “Out of all the shit you could get mad at me for, you're pissed off about Lola?”
I sat up in the bed and glared at him. “I'm not pissed off about Lola. I just think you should have mentioned her to me.”
“Why?” Seth was smirking as he slid across the bed so that his back was pressed against the far wall. His long legs were dangling off the edge of the bed.
“Because-.” I frowned as I tried to gather my thoughts into a coherent argument.
“Because?” Seth crossed his arms over his chest. “You're going to have to do better than 'because', Pilar.”
“You acted like you'd never met Gauge before when he brought us here.” I gestured to the building around us.
“I hadn't. I'd heard about the Underground but it's been a few years since I was last in the city. I didn't know Lola was involved with the activists.”
“Oh come on, you expect me to believe that?”
Seth snorted. “I haven't spoken to her in nearly four years.”
“She kissed you.”
“And no one was more surprised by that little gesture than I was,” Seth said. “Not that I'm complaining. I half expected her to slap me or out me to Gauge.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He still had those damned sunglasses on. His shaggy and now entirely black hair was hanging in his eyes, pressed down by the fedora hat he'd been wearing all day. The softer, gentler look wasn't really working for me. I reached forward and tugged the sunglasses off his face.
“Hey-.”
“I can't stand not being able to see your eyes when I'm talking to you,” I said by way of explanation. I folded the glasses neatly and set them down in my own lap.
“Really?” Seth tilted his head at me questioningly. “I was under the impression my eyes gave you the creeps.”
“No.” I shook my head at him. “It just took me a little while to get used to your right eye. I'm not creeped out. You don't scare me anymore.”
Seth half-heartedly smiled. He looked exhausted without the sunglasses on. They had been concealing the dark circles underneath his eyes and the strain that was now showing in the pale blue iris of his good eye. “That's good.”
“Are you okay?” I asked him abruptly.
“Seeing Lola kind of threw me.” He pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “She and I haven't always been on the best terms. She knows who I am and what I can do. To be honest, there isn't much Lola doesn't know.”
“Who is she?” I asked.
Seth held his arm out to me. I hesitated for a minute and then slid towards him. He didn't speak again until we were sitting side-by-side, both of our backs pressed against the cold wall.
“You know I'm not always the good guy, right?” Seth asked.
“Mmm hmm.” I did know that.
“My Dad worked for Lola's parents for a while when we were all kids. Her family had a lot more money than mine did. She grew up in a nicer neighborhood than we did. Always had clean clothes without any tears in them and new toys. Our parents were friends, to a point. We saw a lot of Lola when we were growing up because my mother used to clean their house on the weekends for a little bit of extra money.”
“So you did grow up with her?”
“I did,” Seth said. “I never liked her much. I thought she was spoiled and snobby. Jeremiah used to say I was just jealous. He had the worst crush on her.”
“She thought you were Jeremiah when she first saw you earlier,” I recalled.
Seth nodded. “Other than the age difference, we always looked pretty much the same. I'm a little taller than Jeremiah was, I think. I don't know. I was 14 when he died so I hadn't quit growing yet. He was taller than me back then.”
“How did Jeremiah die?”
Seth shook his head. “Have some patience and let me talk. You asked about Lola so I'm telling you about her. I can't talk about Lola without talking about Jeremiah.”
“They were a couple?” I guessed.
“The ultimate star-crossed lovers. More tragic than Romeo and Juliet,” Seth explained with noticeable irony in his voice. “Our dad was put to death and our mother died not long after. We wound up on the streets with Jeremiah trying to scrape together enough money to keep me and Vera fed. Lola used to steal food from her parent's pantry and give it to Jeremiah. I probably should have been grateful but I was just a kid. I resented the hell out of her. Pretty little rich girl with her perfect hair and white teeth, stealing biscuits out of the bread bowl and hiding them under the bushes for us to hunt for like starved rats.” The bitterness was clear in his voice.
I didn't know what to say as he continued to talk.
“Jeremiah was still going to school then. He was determined to finish primary and get a skill. He said that education was the only way to escape the Burroughs for good. He had big dreams, Jeremiah did. He was going to finish school and become a doctor. Buy a big house on the hill and ask Lola to marry him.” Seth snorted. “I fucked up all his dreams.”
“What?” I blinked in surprise.
“I fucked up Jeremiah's plans for the future. It's my fault he never got to be a doctor or marry Lola.” Seth stared down at his own hands. The self-loathing he felt was clear in his expression.
“What happened?”
Seth was silent for just long enough that I was starting to think he wasn't going to tell me. His voice cracked when he spoke. “Vera stole a necklace from one of the shops in the market square. She was jealous of Lola's jewelry and baubles. It shouldn't have been a big deal. Kids from the Burroughs stole from the markets all the time. The king had been making a lot of noise about cracking down on the thefts but Vera is Vera. She saw something and she wanted it. She wasn't going to pay any mind to the king or his laws.” Seth took a deep breath and then continued. “One of the guards caught her taking the necklace off the table.”
“What did he do to her?”
“The penalty for stealing is pretty old testament. He was going to cut off her hands.” Seth was still looking down at his own long fingers and scarred knuckles. “I got in between the guard and Vera.”
“Oh Seth.” I put my hand over his without thinking about it. He hesitated for a second and then laced his fingers through mine. His palm was warm and rough.
“I wasn't thinking. I saw the guard raising his sword over my sobbing baby sister and I reacted. I ran across the market square and threw myself in between Vera and the guard as the sword was coming down. The blade damn near cut my face in half.” He looked up at me then, displaying the diagonal scar that went from his scalp, through his ruined eye and down to the top of his cheekbone.
“Oh,” I whispered. “Seth, I'm sorry.”
“You've never asked how I got the scar,” Seth said.
“I didn't feel like it was my business.”
He halfway smiled. “It was a long time ago. I honestly don't remember anything that happened after the blade came down on me. Vera says the guard let us go and that I was bleeding everywhere. She says she could see my skull through my skin.”
“That's awful. Just for a necklace?”
“Welcome to Ra-Shet,” Seth said. “You haven't even heard the worst part.”
“It gets worse?”
“My wound didn't heal. Not the way it should have.” Seth tightened his grip on my fingers. “You see, we didn't know I was changed until that day. The blow from the sword should have killed me, but it didn't because I had enough of the zombie virus running through my blood to protect me. Unfortunately, the wound wouldn't heal either. I was alive with my skull showing through my skin and no infections even after a couple of weeks. It didn't take long for the news of what
I was to spread around the Burroughs.”
“I don't understand,” I said. “Your scar is closed. I mean, it's an ugly scar but there isn't any blood or tissue showing.”
“I'm not a zombie. Most wounds heal after a few years.” He touched his hairline with the hand I wasn't holding. “When the guard found out about me, I was taken in front of the high court. The king declared me a zombie and sentenced me to death. I was twelve years old.”
“Oh my god.”
“They threw me into the west corridor. I was certain that I would die, but as you already know, zombies don't eat the changed.”
“What happened?” I was both horrified and fascinated.
“I watched the other people who had entered the corridor with me get torn to pieces all around me, but none of the zombies ever looked my way. Eventually I realized that they weren't going to eat me. I remember looking up into the crowd of people who were watching the bloodshed and hearing Jeremiah screaming at me to run for the west gate. He just kept screaming 'run, run, run'. I ran. Got out through the gate but had no idea what to do next. I'd never been outside the city walls. I was terrified of the woods. There was a camp a little ways outside the gate. People who hadn't been able to make it inside the city walls but who had managed to get out without being put to death. Some of them saw me come walking out through all the zombies and decided I was a god. They thought that I was the savior, returning to save them from the zombies that had been unleashed on our pagan world.”
“Is that how the Church of Chaos got started?”
Seth nodded. “You're such a smart girl, Pilar. That's what I love about you.”
“Don't be sarcastic.”
“I wasn't being sarcastic.” Seth squeezed my fingers within his again. “You nailed it. They thought I was a god. By the time Jeremiah managed to make it out the south gate and around the outer perimeter of the wall, I was laying hands on people and blessing them. Not because I wanted to. I was just afraid they would kill me if I refused.”
“You must have been terrified.”
“I'm pretty sure I pissed myself, though that isn't a part of the official doctrine.” Seth rolled his good eye. “The Church of Chaos was Jeremiah's idea. He knew we couldn't get back into the city, so he decided we'd have to find shelter somewhere else. The people from outside the city gate insisted on following us. Jeremiah kept trying to lighten the mood by joking that I was now a god and we had, quite literally, followers. I said that if we were a church, then we had to be the church of chaos. The name stuck.”
