by Adriana Law
“Where there are butterflies … heartache will soon follow,” I mumble. “I’ve had enough butterflies to last a lifetime.”
The Chaos theory—“it has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.”
People stepping up to the desk are beginning to feel the tension between the Keria and me and give us weird looks. Tonight is supposed to be about helping Charlotte. Not my friends finding me a man. I’m assuming Jonah is in on this too. Why do my friends always try to make me feel like I am missing out on something? The felt tip of the black pen I’m using to fill out the name tags squashes under the pressure. The pen flicks out of my hand landing on the floor, where it rolls under my desk. See. Now they’ve made me upset.
“I don’t need a man to make me happy!” I assert. Chair legs scrape on the floor and I bend over in the chair chasing my pen. Stretching my hand under my desk I reach for the pen … almost … not quite … a little further … “there I got it!” My bottom is still in the seat, well on the edge of the seat, while the tips of my hair sweep the floor. I get an upside view of dress slacks and shiny dress shoes.
All the blood rushes to my head making me dizzy.
“But what if this guy is the one?” Keria calls down.
Those pants cuffs and shoes look like a Bentley. I’m thinking of one Bentley in particular. Oh no. It can’t be. Not now. My heart races as I sit up in the chair, facing the music.
My stomach plummets with disappointment when I see it’s not the right Bentley.
“Sawyer?” I breathe out. “What are you doing here?”
“Family night,” he answers with a crooked smile. He buries his hands in the pockets of his dress slacks looking very GQ and mature. He looks more like his brother than he did a year and a half ago. My heart continues to race.
“Family night?” I repeat in a trance.
The line next to us continues to move; Keria handing out her name tags, while pretending to not be paying close attention to what’s taking place on my side. She reaches over and takes a sticker, writes Sawyer Bentley on it and hands it to him saving me from gawking at him without saying a word.
He peels the back and sticks it to his starched shirt. “Can I have one of those?” He nods at the pamphlet in my tight grip. “Or is that the last one and you’re saving it?”
“What?” I blink. My gaze lands on the pamphlet. My cheeks flame with the heat of embarrassment. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry.”
Ask him about his brother. You know you’re dying to know.
“This is for you.” I pass the pamphlet across the desk and go through the normal procedure of pointing him to where the meeting will be held. “Go through the double doors; turn right, it’s the last door on the right … in the auditorium.”
Sawyer steps to the side of the tables to let the next person in line move up. He bites down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing at me trying to remain calm. I know when a Bentley is suppressing laughter.
“Okay. I brought them inside. Next time … focus,” A girl is saying coming up beside Sawyer. “These heels are killing my feet and it didn’t help having to walk all the way out to the car because you can’t remember to do one tiny little thing.”
My eyes widen at the sight of Starr? The two of them being here can only mean one thing.
Sawyers gaze drops to Starr and he grimaces. “Is that all you ever do … complain?” He sighs. “I thought you brought them in. Well, where are they?”
“You expected me to carry them in here? I sat them on a table until we get signed in. Good grief boy. Give me some credit. I’m not stupid.”
“The twelve hours back home alone in a car with you is going to drive me nuts,” he exhales, scrubbing his face with his hands.
“Hey look at this, some incredibly cute country guy gave this to me out in the parking lot. I have no clue what it is, but I’ll take anything he is handing out.”
Sawyer glances down at what Starr crams in his hand.
“It’s a church track,” he tells her, shocking me. My eyes narrow on Sawyer and I immediately notice something is different about him. Okay, this agitated, frustrated tone with Starr is new, but there’s something else. Shaking my head I let it go not able to put my finger on it. I lean into Keria’s side while Sawyer and Starr continue to bicker near our tables. “Is this really happening? Or am I dreaming?” I whisper.
“Is that girl talking about Jonah?” her brows slam down. “I’ll claw her eyes out if she flirts with him.”
“Calm down. Jonah doesn’t notice any other girls when you’re in the room. He is marrying you.”
“Yah, I know. He is such a sweetheart.” She stares off into nothingness in that same dreamy daze she’s had the last couple months. I think it’s all part of the engagement phase. She is fluttering around high on love. I can’t believe I ever thought of Jonah like that. I shudder at the thought seeing him more like a brother now.
I straighten in my chair. Starr is clutching at the amber stone dangling from her neck gazing up at Sawyer. I remember what she said about it warding off negative energy and I smile. She still hasn’t noticed I’m sitting here and Sawyer seems to have forgotten. I’m starting to wonder if these two have one of those love/hate relationships and they are really here alone.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed.
Sawyer and Starr wander a little further away. I return to filling out name tags. There are only a couple of people left wandering up to the table. The day has been long and my body and mind are fatigued. The idea that Sterling might be here and I’d see him for the first time in a year and a half sent my body into an adrenaline overload. Seeing Starr and Sawyer made me realize just how much I think about him, every day actually.
“I’m going to start charging you a penny for every minute you’re on my mind and then one day I’ll buy you a mansion with it,” he’d said before walking out of my life for good. It was corny, but it’s stayed with me. Shaking my head I resign to finish the name tags and make it through the meeting before my body gives out.
“I’m sorry. What did you say your name is?” I blink up at the woman.
“Penny Johnson. I’m here for my son, Kile.”
I flip through the stapled papers, finding the names and scratching them off the list.
Lavender and baby’s breath in a vase appear in my line of sight. The fragrance tickles my nose and I glance up to see Sawyer and Starr smiling down at me. I’m speechless as I reach out and accept what I notice is the same kind of crystal Vase Sterling broke at the party. My gaze travels the room in search of him.
“There’s a card,” Starr says. “Read it.”
My fingers tremble. I do as she says and rip open the card with my name written on it. My hand flies to my chest tears welling up in my eyes as I merely whisper:
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
Forcing the card back in the envelope I come up out of the seat, scanning the lobby. A happy cry escapes. “Is he’s here?”
“Yep,” Keria says causing my gaze to snap to her.
“You knew?”
“Yea, check the guest speakers,” she returns.
I scoop up the papers I’ve filtered through for the past hour and see his name there. Recovering addicts come to share their stories at every meeting, it helps everyone involved.
Recovery. I turn the word over in my mind.
Star aims a thumb over her shoulder at my stunned expression. “Out front,” she says.
Butterflies attack my stomach. Sterling is here and I’m going to see him and talk to him for the first time in a year and a half. Without even thinking I take off for the exit door realizing when I’m halfway there that I didn’t bring the flowers. I refuse to turn back not willing to wait a second to see him. Rushing through the doors I stop, my gaze sweeping the street seeing nothing but a delivery truck. Maybe he is out back, in the parking lot. Turning to go back inside my eyes lift a
nd I freeze as the long white van pulls off, revealing the old beat up truck parked on the other side of the street. I bite down on my bottom lip to resist smiling. It reminds me of the movie Sixteen Candles, but this isn’t Jake Ryan leaning against a red Porsche 944 wearing a Fair Isle sweater vest with his hands buried in the pockets of his 501 button-fly jeans.
This is Sterling Bentley leaning against an old Ford, the tattoos on his arms easily seen crawling out from under the sleeves of his tight black T-shirt. His hands are buried in the pockets of worn out jeans. His hair is every bit as magnificent as Jake Ryan’s black hair moussed heavenward and his gray eyes… well gooey brown no longer does it for me. It is gray that makes my heart soar. Those gray eyes of his stays fixated on me as he pulls a hand from his pocket and waves.
He crosses the road with his usual cocky stride, confident I am going to forgive him. As soon as the dimples flash I know, contrary to whatever he believes … I’d already forgiven him the day he’d said goodbye.
One of his eyebrows lifts. He glances down the street separating us and then back to where I’m standing.
“Did you get the flowers?” he asks coming closer.
I nod, unable to do much else.
He takes a couple of more steps in my direction, hesitating as if he is unsure about my feelings. He shoves his hands back into his pockets, his shoulder caving in on him.
“Are you seeing anybody?” I think I hear him mutter.
“Not since you,” I answer honestly.
I want to believe it’s because I needed time to work on me. Time to work on opening my store. But there was more … there was always Sterling present in my heart and mind.
“Phoenix,” he starts but I can’t wait any longer. I take off running, throwing myself into his arms. His arms close around me sweeping me off my feet, crushing the breath from my lungs before sitting me back down on the ground. “God I’ve missed you?” he says moving a stray hair from my face.
“What are you doing here? I’ve missed you … I couldn’t get the last—”
Sterling puts a finger over my lips. I’m rambling. He bends kissing the tip of my nose, resting his forehead to mine.
Time stops.
“I’ve been clean since you left Phoenix, you showed me what it meant to be alive … you taught me how to hope. You don’t know how many mornings I’ve woke up and seen you in my apartment, or felt you sitting next to me while I’m asleep, touching my skin.” I sly smile forms on his lips. He knows. He knows I watched him sleep, wishing I could right all the wrong in his life.
“You were awake?” I ask pulling back to his face, remembering what I’d said that morning.
Don’t make me fall in love with you.
Sterling grabs the sides of my face, his eyes boring deep into mine “You know the last day I saw you, you said you didn’t know if you could ever give me another chance, I know you’re afraid to love me, but I promise I will never hurt you again. I know that’s what everyone says, but I swear with every ounce of my being … you’re safe with me, phoenix I-?”
Now I’m the one placing a finger to his lips.
I look up into the clear gray eyes I’d thought I’d never have the chance to look into again. My heart nearly bursts with love. Sterling Bentley is here with me, well; a less haunted and miserable version of himself.
“What took you so long?” I breathe, locking my arms around his neck.
“I could say the same thing,” he murmurs, bending me slightly back his lips finding my neck. My eyes shut squeezing tears of happiness from them.
“I’ve been waiting on you, Sterling Bentley,” I answer, being drawn back up by his strong arms, my gaze meeting gray again. A slow sexy smile reveals the dimples I adore.
“I love you,” I finally admit crushing his lips to mine.
Songs used in Falling for a Bentley:
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer.
Can You Feel my Heart by Bring Me the Horizon
Hey Ho by The Lumineers
