by T. S. Ryder
“Morning,” she said.
He didn’t answer. “Where are my keys?”
She sat up and rubbed her face. “Did you check the floor?”
“Oh, here they are.” He shoved them in his pocket and pulled his sneakers on hard.
“What’s wrong?”
He sat on the floor, his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Thea. I think I’ve done a horrible thing.”
“What do you mean?” She was awake now, her heart thumping in anxiety.
“I drank too much, and I broke up with Sophia.” He shook his head, and she thought she saw tears in his eyes. “I feel awful. I shouldn’t have broken up with her, and I shouldn’t have come here.” He got to his feet but paused to kiss her on the cheek.
“Logan, don’t go.”
“I have to. I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.”
He closed the door, a little too hard. She blinked at it in shock.
Across the room, Marie murmured, “That sucks.”
Thea slid back down in bed and pulled her covers up. She tried not to cry. She thought about the night before and how awesome it had been. He’d said he loved her.
That stupid potion. Why had she done it? She knew it would cause complications. Now she didn’t know what was real. Was this just morning-after regret? Or had he really meant it when he said he shouldn’t have broken up with Sophia? Did he really have feelings for her at all? He had said, ‘over the years’. It wasn’t a sudden thing. If it had been sudden, that would mean it was all the potion.
No, but the potion had worked and he’d said years, so there was definitely something there. Maybe it wasn’t quite strong enough yet, was all. She’d have to keep at him and keep being awesome until his feelings grew. Maybe just a few more times with the love potion would do it.
She got up, determined now instead of sad. She had a plan. At least once a week, she would spike his drink. If he drank enough, it would last the whole week anyway. And then she could taper off when she was sure he was really, truly in love with her.
She dressed and went to her closet where she kept her supply. It was hidden in a shoebox for a disguise. There were plenty of vials. The batch she had made was enough for almost twenty doses. That would be plenty, she hoped. That bought several months at least. That had to be enough.
***
Over the next few weeks, things were strange between her and Logan, like they’d never been before. The change felt obvious to her, but Elise hadn’t seemed to notice. At least, if she had, she hadn’t said anything. Maybe she was so preoccupied with Paul that she wouldn’t.
Thea had thought a lot about it, but in the end had decided not to tell Elise what happened. Not yet. When she could go to her and say they were in love, then she would tell her they had slept together. But if she confessed now, it would just seem weird. And the fact that they weren’t really talking might anger Elise. They would have messed up their perfect little trio.
Logan was scarce. He was back with Sophia, which Thea reminded herself was only temporary. She had tried to spike his drink a few times, but it never seemed to work out. Either he wasn’t there long enough, or she wasn’t alone with his drink. One time, she’d gone into his room when he was out and poured some into a half-drunk bottle of soda on his bedside table, but there was no guarantee he’d drink it. And she hadn’t noticed any change in him over the days after.
She had been feeling sad over the whole thing. He didn’t outright avoid her, but he was slow to answer her texts, didn’t stay long when she was in the house, and any time Elise tried to get them to all hang out, he had plans with Sophia. When they were in the same room, he was nice and acted like his old self, though he was slightly less comfortable. And she swore that Sophia had glared at her more than once. He hadn’t told her, had he? Maybe she just sensed the tension and assumed.
By the fourth week since they had slept together, Thea thought her sadness was becoming a depression. She felt tired all the time and wanted to do nothing but eat. Elise was less available now that she had a new boyfriend, so Thea had a lot of time alone with her thoughts.
It wasn’t until seven weeks later that her thoughts drifted in a particular direction. She hadn’t thought much of the tiredness and increased appetite. But when her period grew later and later, she started to rethink everything. Then, she was scared.
What if she was pregnant? What would that do to her plan and to Logan? How would she finish school or care for a baby? She paced her room one morning, these thoughts running through her head. She had planned to walk to a convenience store near campus after her last class of the day, but that wasn’t until at least three in the afternoon. It was only eight in the morning now. She couldn’t wait all day.
She decided to skip her first class and go now.
The walk to the convenience store seemed to take ages. When she got there, the selection of pregnancy tests overwhelmed her. She picked one that was in the middle price range and paid for it. But she didn’t want to wait until she walked back to her dorm, and she didn’t want her roommate or anyone to find the test in the trash.
She went into the bathroom of the convenience store, took the test and waited. Her stomach turned as the seconds clicked by. This was taking too long. She checked her watch again. Two more minutes. She closed her eyes and counted. When she hit 120, she checked again and it was time to look.
She swallowed hard, then picked up the test. Two blue lines looked up at her from the little window. She looked again at the box and tears filled her eyes. She sat down on the toilet, let the test fall to the ground and cried.
So what if someone else came into the bathroom? She didn’t care. They might even see the positive test lying on the ground and understand that this was not a planned pregnancy. This was not ideal in any way.
She cried for a while, then when she moved to get up, her stomach clenched. She turned quickly and threw up into the toilet. Great. So this was the start of morning sickness then.
She rinsed out her mouth the best she could and splashed water on her face. Mercifully, no one came in the bathroom. She looked dreadful but didn’t care. She tossed the test in the trash can, crumpled some paper towels up and threw them on top, then left and trudged back to her room.
She skipped classes for the rest of that day. She lay in bed, curled into a ball, crying and sleeping. Hopefully the emotions were just from the pregnancy. She wasn’t usually so easily upset.
There were so many questions. Should she keep it? Should she tell him? What would he do? How would he react? How would Elise react? Was this baby going to be a witch or a shifter? Or neither? Could it be pure human with a shifter and a witch for parents?
And what about her family? What would they do? Would her parents be happy to have a grandchild, even if it came from their twenty-one-year-old college student daughter? Who was, let’s not forget, unmarried. They would certainly care about that.
She had to tell someone, though. These questions wouldn’t get answered on her own. And Elise was the best choice, despite the fact that Thea was now carrying her niece or nephew.
She planned to text Elise later, but Elise beat her to it.
“Where were you in English?”
Thea texted back. “Not feeling well. Can we meet up?”
“Sure! I need dinner.”
Thea met her an hour later at their usual pizza spot. She forced herself to eat, and drank water instead of soda. She would have to start making changes if she was going to have a healthy baby.
Elise slid into place across from her. “You do not look good, hon.”
“I know.” She let her cheek sit in her hand. “I have to tell you something. It’s been eating me up for weeks, but I didn’t know if I should tell you or not.”
“Is this why you’ve been bumming so much lately?”
“You noticed?”
“Of course I noticed.” Elise rolled her eyes. “I’ve only known you forever, you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re getting depresse
d? I’ve been waiting for you to tell me. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“You’ll see why when I tell you.”
“Okay.” Elise leaned forward and put her hand over Thea’s. “What is it?”
“Remember that night we all went to that party on Fifth?”
Elise smiled. “The night I met Paul?”
Thea nodded. “Did you know Logan and Sophia broke up that night?”
“Yeah, then he realized he made a huge mistake and begged her to take him back.”
“Well, right after he broke up with her, he came to my room.”
Elise pulled her eyebrows together. “Why?”
“We slept together.”
Elise stared at her for a minute. “You slept with Logan? My brother Logan?”
Thea nodded slowly.
Elise pulled her hand back and gave her a disgusted look. “Why?”
“I’ve had feelings for him for a long time,” she muttered, looking down at her half-eaten slice. “We’d been flirting that night like we always do, but a little more, I guess. He said he’d had feelings for me for years, too. He even said…”
“What?” Elise asked sharply. “He even said what? He loved you?”
Thea raised her shoulders.
“Ugh. Thea! Have you not been paying attention? My brother isn’t exactly the greatest guy when it comes to relationships. I love him to death, don’t get me wrong, but have you seen how he treats women?”
“What do you mean?” She’d never seen him do anything wrong.
“You don’t think breaking up with someone, going to sleep with someone else, then begging to get back together is an asshole thing to do? He’s cheated on girls. He’s left them at parties alone. He’s dated more than one without telling either. He’s slept with so many women, I can’t even count. Thea. He’s the typical asshole bad boy.”
“What are you talking about? Aside from the Sophia thing, when did he do all that?”
“Oh, let’s see.” Elise ticked off the years on her fingers. “Back in high school, remember Ashley?”
Thea nodded.
“Cheated on her twice. Then, he dated Nicole and Leslie, though no one knew about Leslie. Remember that huge party at the end of his senior year that we snuck into?”
She nodded again.
“Well, he took that girl Sarah as a date. And left with Jenna. And didn’t bother to tell Sarah. She was stuck there. She ended up calling her parents, who later called and let my parents have it for raising such an inconsiderate son.”
As she went through incident after incident, Thea remembered them all. The ones she knew about, at least. Some only Elise had known about, but she was right. Thea hadn’t seen any of this in a bad light. She knew Logan. All these things seemed like silly mistakes.
Either he was drunk or the girl was a bitch anyway, or he was just forgetful.
Thea shook her head. “You’re making him sound so bad. He’s not that bad. He’s made a few bad decisions, maybe. But he’s a really good guy.”
Elise sat back and crossed her arms. “And that’s why he said he loves you, slept with you, and the next morning got back together with his girlfriend?”
Thea didn’t really want to admit to the love potion thing. Not like this, with Elise already so mad. And there was no way she could tell her about the baby. Not yet. If Logan reacted badly, she’d just say, “I told you so.” Then she could get rid of it if she needed to, and her best friend didn’t need to know what an idiot she was.
“So maybe he should have waited a bit after breaking up with Sophia,” Thea said. “But I think he came to me for comfort. And there has always been something deep down between us. Now he’s seeing that. And when they break up, we’ll finally be together.”
“I do not approve of this at all. You’re going to get hurt because he’s a total jerk in relationships. Be his friend. Even sleep with him on occasion if you really want to. Although, eww, why would you want to? But do not be in a relationship with him, and get over whatever feelings you have. Thea, please. Do not fall in love with him. You deserve someone so much better.”
“But he’s the one I want, Lise. And do you really think that with our history, he would do that to me?”
“Based on his history, yes. This is a horrible idea, and you’re an idiot if you date him.”
“Come on. Don’t be like this. It’s hard enough knowing I slept with him and watching him be with Sophia.”
“See!” Her voice raised to a shriek. “He’s already hurting you and you’re not even in a relationship! End this. Now.”
Thea shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. She’d been much more emotional lately. Must be from the baby. But she didn’t want to cry now, in front of Elise. Not like this.
“I thought you’d be happy your best friend and your brother were getting together,” Thea said softly.
“Well, you were wrong. Really wrong.”
Chapter Six
Thea waited another week. She hoped Logan and Sophia would break up, but they didn’t. But she needed to decide soon what she was going to do about the baby, and in order to make the best choice, she had to tell Logan.
“I know things have been weird between us, but I really need to talk to you,” she texted him.
After hours, he answered back, “Okay.”
“When? Where?”
“I’m home. You can come here.”
“On my way.”
Her stomach twisted during the whole walk. She’d thought of a few ways to tell him, but they all sounded horrible in her mind. She knocked on the door and took several deep breaths. Logan pulled open the door and stepped aside to let her in. He didn’t smile or seem happy to see her.
They walked up the stairs to his room and she followed. He sat on his bed and watched her pace across his room.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“Good.”
“And Sophia?”
“She’s good.”
This was going nowhere. She threw out her original plans. “So, we haven’t really talked since that night we slept together, and you’ve made it clear that you think it was a mistake.”
She paused to look at him. He didn’t give any sign of agreement or disagreement.
“But the thing is,” she said, “Umm, well. Something happened that night.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Look, Thea, I know I almost said I love you and everything, and I acted like a total dick after. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I just don’t have feelings for you that are that strong. I do care about you, though. I’m sorry for how it all went down.”
“Okay. Well, the thing is, I sorta got pregnant that night.”
“Sorta?”
“I did. I’m pregnant.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath. “Crap.”
Her heart tightened. That was not what she had wanted him to say. “I haven’t really decided what to do yet, but I thought I should tell you first, either way.”
“Either way about what?”
“If I keep it or not.”
His gaze turned hard. “You’d really not keep it? We’ve been friends for years. I know what I just said, but geez, Thea, it’s not like we’re strangers or something. You don’t think we could handle being parents together?”
“I don’t know.” The tears she’d been holding back flowed down her cheek. “I had no idea how you’d react and when someone says they don’t really love you and regret sleeping with you, you don’t really assume that they’ll be excited about having a baby with you.”
“Well, to be honest, I don’t know that I am excited. It’s a shock. But that doesn’t mean I’d want you to have an abortion or give it up for adoption. This is our baby. If nothing else, having a baby with your best friend can’t be that bad of a thing, right?”
She lifted her shoulder and wiped her tears. “If that’s how you feel, then no, it won’t be bad. But I didn’t know what you’d want.”
&nbs
p; He came to her and hugged her. “I feel like the biggest ass in the world. I’m sorry, Thea. I do care about you. I told you that before you told me, even. And even if I don’t love you completely, as in, being in love with you like a boyfriend should be, I do have some kind of love for you. At least the friendship kind. And that’s not nothing.”
She cried into his shoulder, a weird mixture of confusion and relief washing over her.
“Okay, here’s what I think we should do,” he said. “Let’s not do anything crazy just yet. This is a huge shock, and I need some time to wrap my head around this.”
She nodded and wiped her eyes. “I understand.”
“But promise me that, no matter what, we can keep this baby and stay friends through it?”
“Okay,” she whispered, not really sure what that would mean.
He kissed her forehead and hugged her again. “We’ll talk soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
She walked away from the house in a daze. A numbness had settled in. It hadn’t gone as bad or as good as it could have. But maybe once he got used to the idea, it would be better.
***
The next day, she got a text from Logan. “Thought through some things, and I’d like to talk it over with you. Can you come over after your classes?”
“Sure,” she’d said, then had to sit through another two hours of classes until she could go to him and find out what was going on.
As soon as her last class ended, she sent him a text to say she was on her way, then walked as quickly as she could.
When she got there, they went right up to his room, with no pause for niceties.
“Sit down,” he said.
She sat on his bed, her palms sweaty at the thought of what he might say. This could still go either way.
“Here’s the thing.” Logan paced across his bedroom like she had done the day before. “I’ve been up all night thinking about this. I know how important you are to me. I can’t imagine my life without you, you’ve been a part of it for so long. And even if we’re not totally in love with each other, it’s still my job to take care of you. And our baby.” He stopped walking and turned to her. “I broke up with Sophia. For good this time.”
