by Katy Madison
Was the dress the one she intended to wear in her marriage to her captain?
“How much longer does this go on?” he asked.
A guest heard his impatient comment, and the double entendres and nudges started. Sterling resisted the urge to clap his hands over Mary’s ears. They weren’t so wrong. He, like every bridegroom, wanted his bride alone, naked, and in his arms. How innocent was she?
While everything was muted and toned down from the kind of raucous celebration his California cronies would have thrown for him, his thoughts jumped ahead to the night ahead. He didn’t want to scare her, so he would be deliberate and gentle.
Mary took a timid look around the company and said, “There will be dancing after dinner.” She looked down at her lap where her hands twisted together. “We can leave whenever you want.”
Now, there was encouragement. He’d be damned if he dragged her away from her elaborately prepared reception. He’d just have to exercise patience. And he’d exercise restraint when he got her home. He wanted a lifetime with Mary, and he wouldn’t risk ruining their future by being too demanding or impatient or not understanding.
He knew this had all happened too fast for her. Her behavior today was clear as a bell. He would go slow if it killed him. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You tell me when it is an appropriate time to take you home.”
She swallowed hard. He heard it.
“Don’t fret so. Everything is fine.”
She cast a quick glance at him and looked even more upset than before. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t know what to do or say to calm her down, and he’d thought Suzanna was high-strung.
Mary was just plain miserable. Guilt that she had trapped Sterling into this marriage swamped her. Her wedding day should be the happiest in her life, and she was just plain sick with worry. Aside from her biggest fear that she had urged Sterling into a marriage he didn’t want, she worried that her father would not eat without her there to urge him to the table. She worried that her sister was in a horrible predicament, and she worried that her corset was mashing her insides so tight, she’d never be able to conceive a child.
She didn’t even want to finish that thought, because every time Sterling touched her she couldn’t breathe. Which was half corset and half her reaction to him. The last thing she wanted to do was let Sterling realize how very enamored of him she was. She didn’t want him to think she had anything to do with her sister’s flight. She didn’t want him to think she had planned to step into her sister’s shoes. She didn’t want him thinking she was a schemer and a manipulator, even if she was.
After dinner was cleared away and the musicians had played for some time, she stretched up on her toes and said, “We could leave now.”
Please, let him be ready because she needed out of this dress and her laces loosened. She felt heat creeping up her face.
“You are ready?” Sterling asked.
Ready for what? She nodded uncertain of what she was agreeing she was ready for. Sterling had his hand at her back, and he guided her toward her father.
“Take good care of my Mary.” Her father hugged her and gave her a pat.
“Will you be all right, Papa?”
“I’ll be fine, sweetheart. I survived the month you spent at your brother’s house, now didn’t I?”
“Yes, and will you send someone to see after Suzanna?”
“She’ll be fine with her Aunt Lydia. If anyone can talk on her level, my sister will.” Her father shook her head. “Go on, you need to take care of your husband now.”
He reached out and shook Sterling’s hand. “Welcome to the family, son. Come by for dinner after you two get settled in.”
Sterling struck her as the last person in the world who needed caretaking. What had she done, marrying a man who needed little of her strongest skills?
They left the hall she had rented for the reception. The slanting late evening sunlight outside startled her. Even though it had been midday when the ceremony began, Mary felt as if an eon had passed. It should surely be dark. But no, there was plenty of light as they moved through the gauntlet of well-wishers.
Sterling lifted her into the carriage she had hired. He barely had the door shut when he asked again, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” She felt heat stealing into her face. She sat up straight as much as she could trying to ease the pressure of her corset.
“At least now you have some color.”
Mary felt so flustered she didn’t know what to say. She glanced around. Sterling looked so solemn. Had he smiled at all today? Yes, but not when looking at her.
Sterling reached up and loosened the ascot around his neck. “Are you afraid?”
“No. Of course not.”
“You’ve been as jumpy as water drops on a scalding hot griddle all through the day. What is wrong?” He folded his arms across his chest.
Besides her laces being tied so tight she could barely breathe? He might be her husband, but she really wasn’t ready to share that with him. Oh, goodness, he was her husband and a man who knew how water behaved on a hot griddle. “I...I am afraid I tricked you into marrying me.”
He looked at her sideways. “With what trickery? Did you force your sister write those letters and then make her run away?”
Mary blinked. She had almost forgotten Sterling had known Suzanna ran away before she did. And she didn’t know what her sister’s letter to him had said.
“It’s done. Unless you want an annulment, it’s for the rest of our lives.”
“Do you want an annulment?” she asked and her voice squeaked unnaturally. That he had even thought of that option told her how little enthusiasm he had for the course they followed.
“And go through that circus again? God no.”
Mary felt a small bubble of amusement break free. At least he considered marriage to her ranking above the horror of going through an overblown wedding ceremony.
Sterling smiled at her gently, encouragingly. “I believe I did better than I expected to.”
Mary ducked her head not sure if he meant surviving his wedding day with all the guests or more than that. Besides she couldn’t look at him long because it would adversely affect her breathing.
The carriage pulled up in front of his house, and he wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her down before she could climb down the step. “You are so tiny.”
Tiny? She was short, but too full-figured to ever be considered tiny or anything so feminine as dainty. She shook her head as she climbed the stairs to the front stoop.
Sterling spoke to the coachman tipping him, then dismissing him.
She breathed an abbreviated sigh. Finally, she would be able to loosen her laces—except she didn’t have a single stitch of clothes here.
Oh my goodness! She couldn’t get out of the overly tight laces with nothing to wear. She pivoted and slammed into Sterling’s chest. “I have to go home.”
“Mary, you are home.” He wrapped one arm around her and reached behind her to unlock the door.
She heard the door swing open with a sense of impending doom. She couldn’t stand the thought of staying trussed up any longer. “I don’t have any clothes here. I need just a few things.”
“No, you don’t. Not tonight.” He scooped her up with one arm under her knees and one arm behind her shoulders.
Alarmed, she clutched his shoulders while her head spun from a lack of oxygen. “I can’t stay in this dress any longer.”
“Good.” Sterling kicked the door shut behind him.
Oh! He meant to...they would...consummate their marriage. Oh heavens. In all the anxiety of the day she had only tried to get through each minute as it came. She hadn’t really thought about the wedding night. Or if she had thought about it, she had dismissed the normal course of events because their marriage was so abnormal. “It’s still light out.”
“You prefer the dark?” He grinned down at her.
She was mesmerized by his deep dimples and the amusement in his eyes. “Yes, no. I don’t know.”
He carried her still, but they hadn’t moved to the stairs. They would need a bed, wouldn’t they? Lord, she didn’t even have anything to sleep in. “I’ll...I’ll need a nightgown.”
“You can use one of my nightshirts. Can’t stand the damn things anyway. Don’t know how you keep them down.”
She swallowed hard. So they would be sharing a bed, she knew that, had expected that. She could act as if discussing one’s sleep wear with a husband was normal. “So what do you sleep in?”
“In the summer, as little as possible.”
She felt her face heating up. More than her face.
“So what do you think? Do you like the furniture?”
Mary had to break her gaze away from Sterling’s chin and look at the front parlor. The drapes and carpets she had picked out were there. Couches, chairs and cabinets in rich mahogany wood were cozily grouped around the room. He’d had purchased furniture in modern designs replete with carved grape leaves, slender cabriole legs and whorled feet. Different from her father’s home, yet similar enough to soothe her. It was not the empty space she had seen before, it was now a home, her home with Sterling. “It’s lovely.”
“We can rearrange whenever you want. There’s more rooms to be done, but this should get us by for now.”
“Are there any servants?”
“Not yet.” He headed for the entry hall and the staircase. “Cook starts tomorrow.”
She grew anxious. She was alone in the house with Sterling. “I can walk.”
He set her down on the bottom step, but kept his hands on her waist. She was not quite on eye level with him and his wry expression. “Sure you want to?”
She nodded jerkily.
“How about I fix you a cup of tea and light the fire under the water tank. That way you can have a nice warm relaxing bath before bed.”
He stroked her waist. Warmth might be unneeded, relaxation probably impossible, losing her corset would be heaven.
Uncertain she gave a tiny nod. Him seeing her without her corset scared her. He might be disgusted.
He pulled her against him, and she revealed in the strong secure feeling of his chest. She was both frightened and reassured. His right hand shifted to the nape of her neck and he made a soothing sound. “Don’t worry so. Everything will be fine. Go on up. I’ll be there in a minute.”
He was taking care of her needs, and she should be so much calmer if she was easing him in some way, but how? She climbed the stairs and walked into the bedroom. She gripped the bedpost trying to breathe deeply enough to stop the black spots from dancing before her eyes.
Anticipation and dread mingled in her squished but empty stomach. What if he didn’t want to consummate their marriage? Why was he sending her on ahead alone?
All too soon he was behind her, pulling the drapes closed, blocking the orange glow of a setting sun. It was too early for bed. He lit a lamp beside the bed before moving to the dresser. There he pulled out a white garment. Then he stood in front of her with it held up to her shoulders.
“See this will be plenty long enough although you’ll have to roll up the sleeves.” He draped the nightshirt over the foot of the bed. “I thought you wanted out of that dress.”
There was no way she could get that long row of tiny buttons down her back undone. “I need a maid.”
“Guess, I’m it.”
“Oh.” A shudder passed through her, and she looked up at him.
Sterling ran his index finger down the side of her face. “Did I tell you how beautiful you looked today in that gown?”
She drew in a sharp breath and nearly choked. She shook her head, not trusting her voice. Tears stung at her eyes, he was so kind. She hadn’t looked good today. Her color had been non-existent or too high. Pale clothing didn’t suit her. It made her skin look sallow. With her dark hair, reds, wines, and jade greens suited her best.
He gave her a crooked smile. “No, really. The way the dress shows your perfect curves, I was stunned when you walked down the aisle.”
His tone sounded sincere, but Mary was unused to compliments unless they were about how helpful she was. She bit her lip.
“Don’t do that.” With the pad of his thumb he touched her bottom lip. Then he stroked across it. “You have the sweetest mouth.”
She wanted to believe that comment. She wanted to understand why that brief touch of her lip left her so hungry. She wanted to know why her blood felt thick.
His hands found her waist and he lifted her onto the bottom stair of the bed steps. Her eyes were level with his nose and then he kissed her.
For a moment she didn’t know how to respond, and this was more intense than the peck he had given her in the church. His lips clung and pressed to hers. Then the tip of his tongue tested the seam of her mouth. Startled and intrigued, she let her jaw loosen. He adjusted the tilt of her head, and the kiss deepened.
A part of her wanted to draw back and say, oh is this how it is done, and a part of her was shocked that Sterling would touch her tongue with his, and the biggest part of her wanted to explore these new worlds.
He lifted her arms and placed them around his neck.
Oh, she was horribly inept. She should have done that without his prompting. She tried to follow his movements and imitate them, but then his body pressed against hers. Shock wave after shock wave traveled through her. He held her tight against him with one hand, and with the other he stroked her side.
His slow caresses gradually lengthened until he slid his hand over her hip to the top of her thigh and back up, slowly up, and up until his hand curled around her breast, while his kiss went on and on.
Mary felt like she could shatter into a thousand pieces every part of her tingled so. He slid his hand down and farther down her leg, then back up, this time adding slow circles against the full flesh of her breast. The coolness of air wafted against the back of her neck, and she realized Sterling was methodically releasing the long row of buttons.
Her head swam, and her body rioted with sensations, only then did she realize she had forgotten to breathe. She pulled back from his kiss, but now it was too late to draw in enough air to hold back the closing darkness. “No...o,” she moaned as the last tiny circle of light closed into nothingness.
Chapter 6
Sterling caught his wife as she went totally limp and slid down his body. Her head lolled back as lifeless as a rag doll.
Hell’s bells. His virginal wife had fainted during his attempt to seduce her.
He laid her down on the bed. What to do? Smelling salts.
He had none.
“Mary.” He knelt beside her and shook her.
Nothing happened. He pressed his fingers against her neck. She had a pulse, too fast and too thready, but she hadn’t dropped dead on him.
What else should he do? Burn feathers? All right he’d give her a minute and if she didn’t respond he’d wipe her face with a cool rag, then he’d burn feathers. He could rip apart a pillow and get feathers.
Why had she fainted? Had he been moving too fast for her? She’d been participating, slightly, with his guidance. She hadn’t protested his increasing intimacies, not until he had her gown half undone and she’d moaned a low no.
He watched her breathe. Her chest rose and fell ever so slightly and too rapidly. She wore a corset. He’d felt the rigid stays underneath her gown. He’d dealt with them before. Even run into a few women who refused to take them off ever, which made it into a one-time visit for him.
Lordy, she was pale, the skin around her lips bluish. He rolled her to her stomach and finished undoing the buttons and fumbled with the double knots of her corset strings.
Damn she had the strings tighter than a dried rawhide drumstring. He finally got the knots released without resorting to his pocketknife.
She moaned.
He lifted her enough to get the dress down to her waist, and he yan
ked the strings completely out of the grommets of her corset and pulled the contraption of torture out from under her.
Had the liberties he’d been taking shocked her so badly she passed out?
He figured he’d never dealt with a virgin before. No, no probably about it. The few women in the western territories were either married or making their living on their backs. There had been one Chinese laundry girl who had taken a shine to his looks, but even she had been well versed in the art of seduction.
Mary hadn’t protested his advances, but would she? She was in the habit of accommodating other’s needs rather than protecting her own well-being.
He had shocked her. Clearly she wasn’t ready for the physical side of a marriage she’d suggested only just this morning. He’d been in too much of a hurry to make this marriage permanent when she was still getting used to the idea of promising to spend her life with him.
He grabbed the nightshirt from the end of the bed. If his unbuttoning her gown frightened her, waking without the gown or her corset on would scare her witless. Leaning back against the headboard, he pulled her up to a sitting position. Her body had more rigidity, and she moaned a protest. Good, she was coming around.
He swiftly pulled his nightshirt over her head as he made short work of her chemise. He winced as he saw the angry welts the creases in her undergarment had made on her skin where her corset had been.
“Sterling?”
“Shhh.” He grabbed her wrist and pushed it through the sleeve and she followed suit groggily with the other arm. He pulled the chemise out from underneath his nightshirt and removed his hands. He lifted her up and pushed the dress down below her hips and the satin slithered to the floor.
She put a hand to her forehead. “What happened?”
“You fainted.” He slid out from behind her and yanked down the covers. “Lay down.”
Instead she bolted upright. “I fainted?” She sounded bewildered and alarmed.
“I want you to rest. You’ve had a trying day.” He needed to get out of the room before the idea that he had undressed her and had her in his bed tempted his overheated blood to continue to explore her perfect little body. He backed away from the bed. “I’ll get you a fresh cup of tea.”
