“I want to do my best for you,” Lynda said. “I just don’t know—”
Melissa touched her hand to silence her. “It’s okay, Lynda. I know you’ll do your best, and if things don’t work out just right, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
Lynda sighed. “I know how scared you are, Melissa.”
Melissa couldn’t argue.
“I’ve been scared, too,” Lynda went on. “I was just thinking about it, trying to put myself in your place. The sense of dread, of uncertainty. And I kept going back to that morning when Jake was test-flying my plane, about to buy it, and we realized the landing gear wouldn’t go down. We had forty minutes to burn fuel before we landed. That gave the airport time to prepare for a crash landing, and it cut down on the fire hazard. But it was the longest forty minutes of my life.”
“I can imagine.”
“I haven’t flown since. It’s weird, because I used to fly every day. The fact that I don’t have a plane anymore has something to do with that, but I had planned to rent one every now and then and get back up there. It’s just been kind of hard to get back in the saddle.”
“How about Jake? Has he flown yet?”
“No, not yet,” she said. “He hasn’t been able to get a medical release yet. He still has a way to go before his legs are a hundred percent. But I don’t think he’s afraid of it. I think he misses it. Just the feeling of being up there in the clouds, looking down over the world . . . you can forget everything.”
“Well, maybe when you’re ready, you can take him up.”
Lynda looked at her for a moment, and a slow smile dawned across her face. “I just had a wonderful idea.”
“What?”
“What if we all went up today? I could rent a plane, if Mike—my friend who runs the St. Clair airport—has one available. It would be a great treat for Jake, and it would help distract you and Larry.”
The thought didn’t appeal to Melissa. “No, you and Jake go ahead. This should probably be a private moment for the two of you.”
Lynda shook her head. “The more, the merrier. Come on. Let’s make a memory today.” When Melissa still hesitated, Lynda leaned forward, her eyes wide, as if a thought had just occurred to her. “Unless you’re scared. Maybe you don’t want to go up with me after what happened the last time I flew.”
Melissa laughed softly. “I trust you, Lynda. Even in a plane. I’m not afraid.”
“Great. Then let’s do it. I’ll go call Paige and tell her to cancel my appointments for the morning.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be in the shower. If Jake comes over, don’t tell him what we’re planning. I want to surprise him.”
“What if he doesn’t want to go?”
“He will,” Lynda was certain. “He’s been chomping at the bit to get back in the sky. Even if he’s not the one flying.”
The morning air was brisk for Florida, and Jake thought maybe there was hope that he’d experience an autumn here, after all. This time of year, especially during his short morning walks, he missed Texas. He’d never thought much, before, about the colors the leaves turned, the piles of leaves in the yards, the way the wind felt sweeping through the stands at football games. He’d taken a lot for granted before, including his ability to walk without thinking about every step. But he was grateful he could walk at all. Not so long ago, he’d believed that part of his life was over.
Now he started each day with a walk up Lynda’s street and around a couple of blocks. It took a long time, for he had to walk slowly, but lately he’d been relying on his canes less and less. His legs were getting stronger, and it was just a matter of time before he’d be a hundred percent. Already he’d come so far since the crash—and he’d come a lot further mentally and spiritually than he had physically.
He wished he could make Melissa see that this tragedy about to reach culmination in her life could be a beginning. That tragedies weren’t always a curse. Sometimes they were a blessing. Through human eyes, they could look like the end of the world. But through God’s eyes, there were forces at work, plans aligning, miracles taking place.
His breathing grew heavier as he passed the small church not too far from Lynda’s street, then the house beside it with a bicycle and a pair of skates in the yard. He should get a bike, he thought, and try riding it for exercise. It would get him farther and help him to build up his legs more. Then maybe, finally, he’d be able to get his medical release and fly again.
His eyes strayed to the sky, clear blue and cloudless, and once again he found that melancholy sweeping over him. Yes, his tragedy had been a blessing. Yes, he realized God’s sovereignty in all of it. Yes, he’d been given wonderful gifts as a result of his fall. He had met the woman God had chosen for him—the only woman he’d ever given serious thought to spending the rest of his life with—and that only because he couldn’t stand to spend a single moment without her. But Lynda understood the emptiness that still ached inside him whenever he thought of flying. Would he never fly again? Or was God going to give that back to him someday?
He made his way up the street to Lynda’s driveway, thankful that he could sit down for a while before he went to physical therapy. He wondered if Melissa was up yet. For her sake, he hoped she slept late, so she wouldn’t have to deal with the unmitigated fear she must feel at the idea of what could happen to her in court tomorrow. He’d felt that way the weekend before they’d taken the bandages off of his face. In a way, he had feared prison, too. The prison of living the rest of his life with only one eye, with harsh scarring down his face that would frighten children. But now he could see that even that had carried with it blessings.
He saw Larry’s car as he approached Lynda’s driveway, and the cop came out of the house, dressed in a pair of jeans and sneakers and a pullover shirt—minus the windbreaker he wore to hide his weapon when he was on duty.
“Hey, Larry,” Jake said, reaching for his hand.
Larry looked pale and tired as he shook, and Jake wished he would get some sleep. “How’s it going, Jake?”
“Great. You take the day off again?”
“Yeah,” Larry said. “I wanted to try to take Melissa’s mind off things, but I’m afraid we’re just going to feed each other’s anxiety. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know what those two are cooking up today, would you?”
Jake glanced toward the window, and saw Lynda looking out. She smiled at him, something that never failed to brighten his day. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, Lynda’s taking the morning off, and she’s walking around the house like she’s about to burst with excitement. She said it was a surprise.”
Jake’s breathing was returning to normal now. “Oh, yeah? Think it has to do with Melissa’s case?”
“No, that was my first question, too. They just said it was a diversion.”
“A diversion, huh?” He glanced back toward Lynda again in the window. “Then we’re going somewhere?”
“As soon as Melissa finishes showering.” Larry lowered his voice. “I told them I wasn’t really in the mood for much—and frankly, Melissa doesn’t seem to be, either. She’s pretty down. But Lynda insisted that it wouldn’t take more than a couple of hours.”
Jake started for Lynda’s door. “Well, I don’t know what it could be, but I do know this. When that woman sets her mind to something, you might as well sit back and enjoy wherever it takes you.”
An hour later, Jake still seemed confused at where, exactly, Lynda’s enthusiasm had carried them. When they pulled into a parking space at the small St. Clair airport, Jake gave Lynda an uncomfortable look. He hadn’t been back here since the crash, and it occurred to her that he might not be ready to see where his life had almost ended.
“What’s going on?” he asked quietly.
Lynda squeezed his hand. “I was trying to think of a way to get Melissa and Larry’s minds off tomorrow, something that would make a memory, and I thought of this.” She leaned toward him on t
he seat, her eyes big, beseeching. “What do you think, Jake? Are you ready to get back into the sky again?”
For a moment, he stared at her, quiet, expressionless. Finally, he asked, “You rented a plane?”
“Just for the morning. Melissa needs to spend some time with her parents this afternoon. But I thought it was time.”
Jake looked out over the tarmac, at the planes lined up, just as they had been the morning of their crash. He had driven his Porsche out onto the tarmac and parked beside the plane he wanted to buy, as if that Porsche gave him privileges that everyone else didn’t have, never dreaming how final that short drive would be.
The wind had been blowing hard that day, just as it was today, only that day had been warmer. He remembered Lynda mentioning her concerns about the crosswind, but he’d assured her that he could handle it. He was a commercial pilot, after all. But no amount of training or experience could have prepared him for what happened that day. Now, looking back, he felt like Nebuchadnezzar, proud of how high he’d climbed, arrogant about his own status, believing he was invincible. God had showed them both, he and Nebuchadnezzar, just how dependent on him they were.
He looked at Lynda, remembering the conversation in the cockpit as they’d prepared to land that day. She had been trembling. He took her hand now, and felt the slight tremor again. “Are you sure you can do this? You’re not afraid?”
She smiled with only a tinge of uncertainty. “I don’t think anybody’s out to kill me this time, Jake,” she said, referring to the man who had sabotaged her plane. “I’ve really been wanting to do this. And I’ve wanted to take you. I can’t forget that look you had in your eyes that morning when you were hotdogging in the sky like a Thunderbird.”
“You hated me then. You thought I was the most obnoxious man you’d ever met.”
“I was right. You were.”
Jake grinned and looked at the two in the backseat, who listened with mild amusement. “She called me a psychopath.”
“I sure did,” she said proudly. “He was really being a jerk, showing off with all these loops and dips. But we had one thing in common. We both loved to fly.” She squeezed Jake’s hand. “And neither of us has done it since the crash.”
Jake’s hesitation diminished. Raising his eyebrows at the two in the backseat, he grinned. “Are you guys game?”
Larry shifted uneasily and peered out at a plane that was just taking off on runway 3, where he’d seen the jumbled, charred mass of Lynda’s plane after the crash. “I don’t know.”
Melissa took his hand. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“Really?” he asked. “You want to do this?”
“Sure. It’s better than moping around all day and playing all the different scenarios of tomorrow over and over in my mind. This might be my last day as a free woman. I might as well soar a little.”
The shadows on Larry’s face returned. “Melissa, don’t say that. Lynda’s a good lawyer.”
Her eyes turning serious again, she touched Larry’s mouth with her fingertips to hush him. “Anything could happen, Larry. I’ve cried until my eyes are raw, I’ve prayed until I’ve run out of words, and I’ve had so many regrets . . . I can’t do anything about tomorrow right now. So let’s just take advantage of today.”
He leaned wearily back on the seat. “All right,” he said without much enthusiasm. “Let’s go fly.”
Even though the flight was supposed to be relaxing, Lynda’s hands trembled as she waited for Mike Morgan—the airport manager who served as air traffic controller in the small concessionlike booth inside the airport—to clear her to take off.
“Take it easy, now,” Jake said, his eyes scanning the controls with some discomfort of his own. “We did a real good preflight check. Everything looked good. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m not scared to fly. I was just remembering . . .”
The radio crackled, and Mike gave them the go-ahead. The cabin was quiet except for the changing pitch of the engine as she accelerated down the runway.
The moment the wheels left the ground, Jake began to laugh like a little boy on his first Ferris wheel. “This is great!” he said. “Look how clear the sky is! Oh, man, I’ve missed this.”
“I have too.” Lynda relaxed as they gained altitude. She glanced to the backseat where Larry and Melissa sat close together, gazing out the window. “You two okay?”
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Melissa said quietly.
“As soon as I get my medical release—” Jake started to say, then stopped before he could get the rest out.
Lynda looked over at him, grinning. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say it so positively, Jake. Till now, you’ve seemed a little unsure if you ever would.”
“I will,” he said without question. “And when I do, we’re buying another plane.”
She looked over at him, her amused eyes searching his face. “We?”
“Yes,” he said, returning her grin. “We.”
Melissa grinned and winked at Larry. She had known Lynda and Jake were getting serious, but she hadn’t known if they had discussed marriage. Judging by the pink flush across Lynda’s cheekbones, and the smile on her face as she moved her eyes to the window, this may have been the first time they had.
Beginnings, she thought with a sigh as her smile faded and her eyes drifted back to Larry. Other people had beginnings. She had endings.
Larry noted the sadness that had fallen over her like a thick fog, so he slid his arm around her and pulled her tightly against him. She laid her head on his shoulder, wishing there could be a future for her with him. But that was too much to ask.
If they’d just met under different circumstances . . . If she’d just been more worthy of him . . .
But she knew that, if she had to go to jail, her relationship with Larry would be over. Cops didn’t associate with convicts. He would forget about her; she almost hoped he would. He deserved happiness, and she would only bring him sorrow.
A tear dropped to her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Larry saw her do it, and tipped her face up to his. She saw the trouble in his expression, the despair, the heartache. And she hated herself for putting it there.
Lord, please comfort him. Let him forget quickly. Let him find the person who can make him happy.
But it was hard to imagine any happiness replacing the sorrow in his eyes.
“You know, you were right, that morning we went up,” Jake said softly to Lynda, breaking the silence in the plane. “This is a sanctuary. As reverent as a church.”
“You have a different perspective now, don’t you, Jake?” Lynda asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I thank God every day for that crash. Life has been a struggle since then, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Sometimes, you just have to go through hell to find heaven.”
Was there a lesson there for her? Melissa wondered. She let the words sink in and tried to find comfort in them as her gaze drifted back out the window. Would there be a life after all this was over? Would there be a heaven at the end of her hell?
She knew that her life would go on, ultimately—but first, she would have to pay for her crime. She had to trust, she told herself. Like Jake, she had to believe that good would come out of it all.
She looked up and met Larry’s eyes. He was going through a hell of his own, she thought. She was dragging him through it with her. Slowly, she began to withdraw. She lifted her head from his shoulder and sat straighter.
She saw his confusion as he loosened his hold on her, but he was demanding nothing from her today. He was here to give, and she received.
Thank you for letting him be here now, she prayed silently. Even if it was temporary . . . even if he forgot her . . . it was okay. God had given her this little interlude as a memory to take with her.
It was a memory that would remind her that she hadn’t been forgotten or forsaken. God still loved her, in spite of herself. And he would see her through this
, whatever happened tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
The harsh rap of the gavel intensified the headache that had plagued Larry since he woke in the early hours of the morning. Melissa, too, looked as though she hadn’t slept. He sat next to her, gripping her hand.
Around them in the courtroom, others with criminal charges waited to be called—some who looked as nervous as she, others who’d walked this path many times before. In the midst of it all, Melissa looked like the lady she was. She held her head up, as if she’d come prepared to accept whatever the court decided, and Larry hoped the judge would see into her heart and give her a second chance. The agony of waiting until her case number was called was almost more than he could stand.
He had sat through many days in court in his career, waiting to testify in a case against someone he’d arrested, but it wasn’t until now that he realized how coldly impersonal it was. There should be privacy when someone’s future was being decided, he thought. There should be quiet, reverence. He thought of the injustice of Melissa’s having to sit through all the ugliness, like one of these thugs who deserved what they were going to get.
He looked up as the doors opened, and saw Melissa’s parents come into the room. Melissa got to her feet instantly and stepped past Lynda and Jake.
She placed her parents between herself and Lynda with whispered introductions, and Larry could feel the agony these two people felt. They had lost one daughter already, and now, in an attempt to set that right, their only remaining daughter had broken the law. It would kill them if she went to jail, he thought. The brutal injustice of what continued to happen to their family was devastating.
The judge ordered a recess of fifteen minutes, and they all stood up. Melissa’s parents embraced her tightly for a small eternity, weeping out their hearts. Larry stood back, feeling out of place, not sure where he fit in this circle of tears.
He tried to avert his eyes, tried not to watch the quiet display of emotion. The courtroom doors opened as people quietly came and went. Idly, Larry scanned the faces, wondering what their stories were, whether they were lawbreakers or hurting family members. A man came in alone and stood in the aisle with his back to them, looking for a seat. Slowly, he turned around.
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