by Mayburn, Ann
The idea was tempting, but Emma was so emotionally drained that she could barely think. “Court me? Who is he? Mr. Darcy?”
“Bitch.” Moira gathered her into a hug and Emma rested her head on her friend’s soft chest. “But you’re my bitch. Call the man, please. You’re brokenhearted moping is driving me bat shit crazy.”
“What if he wants to play with another Domme? I couldn’t handle that, Moira.”
“Duh. You negotiate with him before you come to the party. Do exactly what you tell your clients to do, be honest, be brave, and tell the man what you really want. Take your own fucking advice for once.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It is so easy.”
“Do you really think he’d come?”
“Honey, I think that man would drag himself with his tongue across a room of broken glass for a chance to tap that round ass.”
“That’s just nasty.” She moved out of Moira’s arms and gave her friend a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”
“My pleasure. Hell, you’ve done this for me enough. I kinda like being on the other side of this conversation. Makes me feel all mature and shit.”
Emma laughed, surprised that she felt good enough to actually smile. “God forbid.”
“No kidding. So, you going to call him?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath and felt worlds better as the decision sank into her.
“Good. I can’t wait to see you ride that man.” Moira gave a little shudder and a ravenous look came into her eyes. “Fuckin’A, you better call him or I’ll just kidnap him and throw him at you.”
“You are so deranged.”
“Yep, and that’s why you love me.”
With a sigh Emma gathered her robe around her, wondering how the hell she was going to ask Ryan to come to the play party with her after not talking with him for two weeks.
Chapter 4
The next morning, Emma stared at her phone like it was a poisonous snake about to strike out at her. It was a warm, beautiful summer morning and she had the patio door open, allowing the noise of the busy street to filter in. She wished she had the view from her deck of Lake Michigan that her parents did instead of a crowded intersection, but that was life. Instead of sulking over it she crossed her legs in her oversized cream leather chair and grabbed her phone, scrolling to Ryan’s last incoming call before hitting the button that dialed his number.
Her hand trembled as she held the phone to her ear. It only rang twice before Ryan answered.
“Hello, Emma.”
A tingle raced through her system as adrenaline and happy hormones filled her blood at the sound of his sexy-as-hell voice. “Hi, Ryan.”
Words fled her as she struggled to remember the smooth speech she had ready to invite Ryan to the party. Just hearing his voice struck her dumb. He cleared his throat. “Thank you for calling me. I was afraid I’d blown any chance of seeing you again.”
The vulnerability in his tone helped her find her center and calm down a little bit. She had to admit it was weird that other people being scared made her feel stronger, but that’s how it worked with her. A protective streak a mile wide and deep made up part of the center of who she was and Ryan was obviously feeling hurt and unsure.
“No, you didn’t. I just needed a few days to collect myself.”
“How have you been?”
“Fine,” she lied through her teeth. “And you?”
His sigh came through loud and clear. “I’ve been driving myself crazy missing you.”
“Oh.”
“Do you miss me? Wait, never mind, pretend I didn’t ask that. I’m just happy to hear your voice.”
“It’s okay, Ryan. I did miss you.” She leaned back in the chair and slung one of her legs over the side. “I’d like to see you again, if you’re up to it.”
“Really?” His surprise made her smile for the first time in what felt like days. “Of course. When?”
His obvious eagerness sent a warm wave of happiness through her, easing her tense muscles, then she remembered what she was about to ask him and all humor fled, replaced by a case of the nerves. “Are you doing anything tomorrow night?”
“No.”
“Would you like to go to a party with me?”
“Of course. When and where?”
The beat of her pulse was so loud in her ears she felt like he could probably hear it on the other end. “Moira, my friend from Kiss of Blue, is having a private party. A play party.”
Silence filled the line and she had to close her eyes as she waited for his answer. “I’d love to go with you, Emma, but I have a few questions. I’m assuming I’d be going as your submissive?”
“Yes.”
“Okay…so…uh, should we negotiate or something?”
Back on familiar ground, she smiled and let out a soft sigh of relief. “Of course. This will be a private party at Moira’s house with probably around twenty other couples there plus the odd single Dominant and submissive.”
“What usually goes on there? I’ve been to private play parties before, but I know they’re all different.”
“Well, Moira is a big time voyeur; it’s her kink of choice, so there will be lots of public play. If you’re not okay with that it’s totally fine, we don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“And what about you, Emma, are you an exhibitionist? Do you want me to watch you?”
The careful way he said that set off silent alarms in her mind. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I find the idea of watching you take your pleasure to be really hot.” He gave a soft, husky laugh that gave her goosebumps. “It’s a newly discovered side of myself.”
“What do you mean by ‘take my pleasure’?”
“I was thinking that if you wanted to play with someone while I watched I might be cool with that. I know this may be out of line, but I’d like to approve anyone before you play with them.”
“What kind of play?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. Well, wait, I do know one thing, I don’t want them to fuck you. But oral, fingers, that kind of stuff, I think it might be hot.”
“Ryan, are you sure about this? You don’t strike me as the sharing type.”
“I’m not, but if I’m there, watching you…it makes me hard. Really fucking hard.”
“What if I want you to play with someone else?”
“I’d be on board for having a third, but I don’t want to do anything without you involved.” He laughed. “This is kind of surreal.”
“How so?”
“This conversation. I’ve never been comfortable enough to talk with anyone like this, at least not anyone I’ve cared about like I care for you.”
Her silly heart fluttered and she tried to keep the smile out of her voice. “You care about me?”
“Emma,” he said in a soft, scolding tone, “you know I worship you.”
She couldn’t think of what to say to that other than she worshiped him back, but there was no way she was letting him know he had that much control over her, at least not yet, not until she could see if he could back up his words with his actions. He was talking the talk right now, but she wasn’t sure if he was trying to tell her what he thought she wanted to hear or if he really meant it. What he was saying sounded too good to be true, and she had a hard time believing he was suddenly cool with sharing her.
She stood up and began to pace, the nervous energy filling her and needing an outlet. “What if we get there and I don’t want to do anything other than watch?”
Ryan sighed. “What if I get there and I don’t want to do anything other than watch? I trust you not to push me into doing something you know would hurt me, and not in a good way. I hope you can trust me to do the same.” His voice lowered, moving over her body like a caress, becoming so seductive her pussy clenched in need. “Emma, this is all about your pleasure. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you’ve denied
yourself for fear of what others will think about you. I won’t judge you for your desires. Give me your most wicked fantasies and I’ll do everything in my power to make them reality, as long as we enjoy them together. That’s the only thing that matters to me, experiencing them with you.”
It was official, Ryan was the sexiest man on earth.
After swallowing hard a few times she found her voice and the courage to open herself up the tiniest bit to him, to trust him with her real self. “Look, Ryan, I’m going to level with you. I’m afraid that if you see me with someone else you aren’t going to like it, but you’ll hide it from me in some misplaced attempt to be what you think I want. If you do that you will doom any chance at a relationship with me. I can’t stand dishonesty, and lying about something turning you on when you actually hate it isn’t going to work. So please, promise me you’ll be honest.”
He made a frustrated noise. “Emma, I am being honest. Seeing you put someone through their paces, knowing you’ll come to me after to find your satisfaction, makes me hard as a fucking steel bar.”
“But you don’t know for sure, Ryan. All you have is your fantasies. You’ve never actually had to watch me touch anyone.”
He was silent for a long time and she stared out her window, watching the traffic move along the street. “You’re right, I don’t know for sure, but we’ll never know if we don’t try. Hell, the only thing I need to be happy is you. Everything else is just superfluous bullshit. You are what matters to me, Emma, you and your happiness. That was true in high school and it’s true now. You have no idea how special you are to me. Just give me a chance to prove it, take me to the party with you as your submissive, and I promise you I’ll be totally honest if you promise me the same.”
She closed her eyes and tried to keep her throat from closing up with unshed tears. “Okay.”
“I do have one request.”
“What’s that?”
“Will you give me something to mark me as belonging to you? I want everyone there to know that you’re my Mistress, that you own my body and heart, because it’s true. It doesn’t have to be a collar, I know that for some people a collar is something that’s earned over time, but I want some visible mark of your ownership.”
His request struck all the right notes in her heart and she blew out a harsh breath. He was right, collaring a submissive did mean something serious to her and she wasn’t quite ready for that step with him. In some ways him wearing her collar was just as serious as her wearing his engagement ring. She had to laugh at herself as she got a giddy, totally girly thrill from imagining having his ring on her finger.
“I’ll think of something. Are you sure about this? I really don’t want you to feel any pressure for us to attend. If you just wanted to go on a regular vanilla date that would be totally fine.”
“Relax, it’s okay, I promise. I’m not going to freak out and run screaming like a virgin walking into an orgy. This won’t be the first play party I’ve been to. During my training I went to plenty of parties with Mistress Dawn and her submissive boyfriend, and I didn’t just watch.”
She didn’t like the thought of Ryan playing with another Domme. Yes, she appreciated the fact that the other woman had obviously done a good job with his training, but he was hers now, and she didn’t like imagining him having sex with this faceless Mistress Dawn. A hard ball of jealousy settled in her stomach at the thought of Ryan touching the mysterious Domme who had no doubt had the pleasure of fucking him. “Let me make something clear right now, I don’t want you playing with another Domme. You are mine, do you understand? Mine.”
The possessive growl in her voice should have embarrassed her, but she meant every word she said.
Instead of laughing, Ryan answered in an equally growly tone, “As if I could belong to anyone else. I’ve been yours since our first kiss.”
Her cheeks heated and she marveled that, she, the woman who’d done just about every kinky thing one person could do to another, was blushing over one man’s devotion. “I…thank you.”
“Do you want me to meet you there or pick you up?”
Looking around her modest apartment she felt embarrassment at Ryan seeing where she lived compared to his mansion. Then again, he probably already knew where she lived because of his cyberstalking. He probably knew exactly how little money she had in her bank account as well, and she had to admit she liked the idea of her nosy neighbors watching her walk out of the building with Ryan. They were always trying to set her up with their brothers, or cousins, or friends.
“You can pick me up at my place. I’m assuming you know the address?”
He cleared his throat. “Why do you say that?”
“Oh, please, Ryan. Save the innocent act for someone who hasn’t been a victim of your cyberstalking.”
“What?”
“When you researched me and found out where I worked? I’m sure you also got my home address.”
For a few moments he didn’t say anything, then sighed. “I have your address.”
She grinned. “That’s what I thought. See you tomorrow night at seven?”
“Sounds good to me. What should I wear?”
“Hmmmm….” The mental image of Ryan in a variety of bondage gear spilled through her head like watching a porn on fast forward. “Do you own any leather pants?”
“Of course.” He chuckled. “I have a pair that unzips on either side for easy removal if you’d like.”
“Oh yes, wear those.” She clenched her thighs at the thought of slowly unzipping Ryan out of his clothes, revealing his muscular legs one delicious inch at a time. Moira would lose her fucking mind and Emma did love teasing her friend.
“I’ll see you then. And, Emma?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for calling me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. And I just want you to know that making love with you was one of the best experiences of my life.”
“I-” She wanted to confess that making love with him had been the best sex of her life, but held back. “Thank you.”
“See you tomorrow, Mistress.”
“Bye, Ryan.”
Chapter 5
Ryan took a deep breath as he screwed up his courage to knock on the nondescript door to Emma’s apartment. He wore a long black trench coat in order to conceal the black mesh shirt he wore with his black leather pants that zipped up the side, just like he’d promised. The doors of the apartments were rather thin and he could hear music with a heavy bass line coming from inside Emma’s apartment, along with the voices of her neighbors as he’d passed other doors. God forgive him for being judgmental, but she really did live in a shitty apartment complex.
He wanted to get her out of here, to make it so she didn’t have to Domme anymore, so she could go back to school and be happy, but she would never take his money. Justan had been right, Emma would dump his ass if he tried to give her what she would view as charity. But the memory of her breaking down in tears last night, sobbing like her world was falling apart, had torn his own soul in two. He made a very rash decision he hoped he wouldn’t regret, and he prayed Emma would never find out.
One way or another, by the end of the night her world was going to change forever.
A door opened down the hall, and he quickly knocked on Emma’s door. He hoped whoever was walking past him didn’t see him standing and staring like an idiot. The music turned down inside and a few moments later Emma opened the door with a shy smile. Tonight she wore a pretty white silk halter dress with her hair swept up in curls. Shimmering powder with a hint of sparkle covered her flawless skin and his heart gave a hard thud as he looked into her beautiful sky blue eyes and saw the nervousness bordering on fear in her gaze.
The need to touch her filled him and he was unable to stop himself as he reached out and took her delicate hand in his. “Hi, Emma.”
Her smile grew wider and she gave his hand a small squeeze before leading him into her apartment. Various oriental rugs were strewn about t
he tiny living room area and an undersized brown leather sofa strewn with jewel tone pillows occupied most of the space. A small kitchen with faded countertops and scratched cabinets stood to his right and to the left a short hallway led to what he assumed was her bathroom and bedroom. Pictures of her family filled the walls and he took a few steps forward to look at one of a younger Emma and her sisters with their arms thrown around each other, beaming at the camera. Memories hit him hard of Emma in high school as he examined her carefree smile.
He wanted to make her smile like that again.
“Your hair’s growing back.”
He ran his hand over his head. “Yeah, looks more like a military buzz cut now.”
Cocking her head to the side, she examined him, then smiled. “I like it.”
“Thanks. You look spectacular.”
“Thank you.” She blushed then cleared her throat. “If you give me a moment I’ll grab my stuff.”
Turning, he arched a brow and raked her ridiculously hot body with his gaze. “Are we still going to the party?”
“Yes, is that okay?”
She stiffened and he shook his head with a grin. “I was hoping we were. I just didn’t know if that was a date dress or a party dress. Either way you look amazing.”
Rolling her eyes, she then moved to the closet off the entrance to her apartment and grinned. “Sometimes I like the leather, the latex, the corsets and all that stuff, but other times I wish to be more…mobile. While corsets are lovely, they do restrict my movements.”
A stray curl brushed over the tiny knob of her spine at the base of her neck and the urge to kiss her there filled him. “Emma, you could wear a muumuu and it would be sexy.”
