Cecilia Or Flight From A Shadow

by Catherine Bowness

  She said nothing, and he went on, “You mentioned a scandal. What was that? I assume it concerned your father.”

  “Yes.”

  “And his debts?”

  “No, although they did not help our situation. I suppose if he had been found to be as rich as Croesus upon his death, Society might not have cast us out as comprehensively as it did.”

  “Very likely not; money smooths most paths. I see you do not want to divulge the nature of the scandal and can only say that, while I respect your wish to retain your secret, it may turn out to be so much less damaging than you fear. Very often, when a scandal is laid open to fresh air and sunshine, as it were, it turns out to have been nothing but a set of dry bones.”

  Cecilia did not speak for several minutes and they stood, side by side in front of the window, until she said in a dull voice, “He left us, drove away and shot himself in a field several miles away. I believe he was trying to protect us from the sort of gossip which he feared would destroy our prospects. In that, I suppose he was trying to make up for what he had done in the past; you will say that it was a brave and loving gesture. Perhaps he meant it that way – no, I am certain that he did. Unfortunately, his dying like that made everyone take an even greater interest in us, which soon revealed the nature of the original scandal.”

  “He is not the only man to have shot himself when threatened with exposure,” the Earl said quietly.

  “No. His death, which might, I suppose, have passed for the most honourable action of his life, not only exposed his past – and by extension ours – but, because of the extent of the debts, forced us to leave our home. By the time the creditors had been paid off, we had almost nothing left. Endymion had to leave Harrow almost before he had begun, my older brothers had to abandon their hopes of a university education and find jobs immediately and my little sister, Phyllis, was injured.”

  “How was she injured?”

  “She was seven years old; she must have heard our parents arguing – or the front door closing – in any event she attempted to run after him. She was discovered in the morning, insensible upon the ground outside the stables. She had been kicked in the head by a horse – presumably the one he was riding. There was no other absent from the stables.”

  “That is terrible indeed.”

  “Yes. A stable boy found her and brought her in. We called a physician who warned us that she would be unlikely to recover. She did not regain her senses for several months – we poured sugared water down her throat several times a day. When she did at last open her eyes, she seemed at first to have lost all her intellect and could not speak for a long time, nor – at first – walk. We nursed her for months and of course she had by no means recovered when we had to leave the house and set off on our travels.”

  “How old were you at the time?”

  “Seventeen – the age she is now. We have another sister, Charlotte, who comes between Endymion and Phyllis. She married a Piedmontese farmer a few weeks ago.”

  “Do you think you will ever stop running? Surely now that Charlotte is married you could find somewhere to set up home and stay put?”

  “We have tried many times, but someone always finds out eventually. I think part of our difficulty is that we do not precisely fit anywhere. We have tried living in towns where we have found jobs – usually sewing, which Mama does very well and which she has taught us – but, until we are all too old and ugly not to attract attention, there is always a man who takes an interest in one of us and then either he or his family delves into our past and discovers our horrid little secret. We have tried living in the country, but that is more difficult as there are limited ways to earn a living and – in truth – we are even more noticeable there.”

  “You are so very good-looking that you are bound to attract attention,” he said with a smile. “Is Charlotte in the same style as you and Phyllis?”

  “Oh, yes. Our father was handsome – he was fair like Endymion - and Mama was a beauty in her youth, although little of it remains now.”

  “How did your father earn his living?”

  “I do not know precisely what he did when he was very young, but at the time he died he was in the army. He would of course have been thrown out if all had become known.”

  “Possibly. You have still not divulged the nature of the scandal. No, no, there is no necessity to do so,” he added, seeing her begin to squirm. “It is only that I am convinced it cannot be as bad as you make out.”

  They were interrupted. She was almost on the point of confessing the whole miserable story for he was so very sympathetic, and, in truth, she felt he was entitled to know since he had taken them so kindly – and trustingly – under his wing.

  It was Helen whose arrival stopped her. She looked unusually pleased with herself and did not notice either how close her cousin and Miss Moss were standing, nor the gravity of their expressions, for she had something of her own to divulge.

  “I wager you’ll be pleased with me, Horatio, for, against all the odds, I believe I have succeeded in persuading Miss Godmanton to get dressed and travel with us as far as Geneva - at least,” she said.

  “At least?” the Earl enquired. “Do you have plans to continue somewhere else after we have reached Geneva?”

  “No; I mean that she recognises that she cannot stay here indefinitely without us and has consented to get into one of the carriages. She is still insisting that she must go back to England as soon as we have arrived somewhere where there are more reliably passable roads.”

  “I see. If she goes home, what will you do for a chaperone?”

  “Well, as a matter of fact, as I was coming down the stairs, I was suddenly assailed by what I think makes an excessively neat solution to several of our dilemmas.” Helen was quite transformed by what she was convinced was her stroke of genius which would, at one and the same time, dispose of Miss Godmanton, keep Mr Moss in close proximity and – this, she was certain, was the clincher - please her cousin.

  “Indeed? Pray do not keep us in suspense.”

  “Well, I wondered – I suppose it is presumptuous of me – but I wondered if Miss Moss could be prevailed upon to take Miss Godmanton’s place. I know,” she added, blushing as she looked at the startled Miss Moss, “that we have only just met and – and you are still very young – but you are older than I and I know you are looking for a position. If you would consider taking on the role, you could perhaps try to teach me some of the many languages which I have heard you speaking.”

  “Have you? I do not recall giving much of a demonstration of my multilingualism as I have only managed a few words of excessively simple Italian since we met, but I would be very happy to help with French when we reach Geneva. But, Miss Lenham, much as I am flattered by your suggestion, I fear I must remind you that I am not entirely free; I have my mother and sister to look after.”

  “I am happy to share you with your sister,” Helen said, “and I believe you were thinking that your mama could find work as a seamstress. Would you – would you consider it, Miss Moss?”

  “I would be honoured,” Cecilia said at once. “But I think there are a good many matters which would need to be arranged first, particularly where we would all lodge. And then there is the unpalatable fact, which I was just discussing with your cousin, that we are in constant dread of having our scandalous past revealed – I could not take on a role as chaperone when I am enveloped in such an exceedingly dark cloud.”

  “Is the scandal something which you have done?” Helen asked.

  “I personally? No. It is not something which any of us four have done; it involved my father – but that does not make it any less damaging and I am persuaded that, if your mama were to interview me for the post, she would throw me out at once.”

  “I suppose she might if she asked you directly what shocking thing your father did - and you answered truthfully; but she is not here and has delegated all her duties to my cousin. I am certain he will vouch for you.

  �
��Indeed I will,” the Earl said at once. “Everything I have seen of Miss Moss convinces me that she will make the ideal chaperone. But I do not think that a chaperone can do her job properly if she lives separately from her charge. You would be obliged to accept accommodation with us, Miss Moss, if you wished to take up this employment.”

  “Quite,” she agreed. “And that is impossible on account of my duty towards my sister and my mother.”

  “Cannot your sister share you with me?” Helen asked. “It would be no different from being in charge of two sisters for she is a few years younger than I.”

  “An excellent solution,” Waldron said. “And I daresay we can find another couple of rooms to accommodate Mrs and Mr Moss. Have you planned his employment too, Helen?”

  Helen flushed. “I am not – I do not know what sort of work he seeks.”

  “He can turn his hand to most things,” Cecilia said, taking pity on the young woman. “Perhaps you should ask him; I have done so countless times without a great deal of success; I think he feels badgered by me but would, I am persuaded, be far more open to discussing the matter with you. He is good with horses.”

  “And with women,” the Earl could not resist adding, almost – but not quite – beneath his breath.

  “He cannot help his appearance,” Cecilia said rather stiffly. “Perhaps he could become an artist’s model. Are you acquainted with any artists, my lord?”

  “Unfortunately not. I will, though, see if there is anything to be had in my office. It would of necessity be an exceedingly junior position, the young man lacking a university education, but he is well-spoken and possesses a great deal of charm as well as fluency in several languages.”

  “Are you jesting?” she asked, startled.

  “No. He would not be paid much but he would not have to spend anything on his lodging and it would, I believe, set him up for entering the diplomatic service at a higher level in time. But would you be happy to chaperone my cousin around Swiss society?”

  “I would be honoured if you do not fear our family’s distasteful past leaking out,” Cecilia repeated.

  “My family’s past is not without its black sheep, you know,” Helen said. “I have an aunt – who is now very dear to me – but she was lost to our family for a number of years and led anything but a respectable life. In any event, I do not intend to be a burden on you; I will engage to behave properly and heed what you say. I simply need someone grown-up to accompany me and see that I am not abducted.”

  “I am not without experience there,” Cecilia admitted. “Keeping an eye on my little sister is becoming increasingly onerous.”

  “You have not been paying her any attention for some time,” said another voice. “Are we ready to leave? Mama and Phyllis have packed everything and are sitting in the hall waiting to get into a carriage.”

  “Where have you been?” Cecilia countered, wondering how long her brother had been in the room.

  “I went to have another look at Mario and another word with the landlord; then I looked in here and saw you all very close, decided not to interrupt and went upstairs to see what had become of Mama and Phyllis.”

  “Have you spoken to Miss Godmanton this morning?”

  “I did just now; she is another who is waiting in the hall.”

  “Is she, by Jove?” the Earl asked. “All dressed, shod, with her bag packed and so on?”

  “So far as I could see, yes. She appeared to have made friends with Mama and Phyllis – at least all three were united in complaining about the late start.”

  “We were waiting for her!” Helen exclaimed.

  “Yes, I know, but she is ready now and I would strongly advise you not to lay the blame for our late start at her door – at least within her hearing.”

  The Earl, determined to get his party out of the inn and distributed in as uncontentious an arrangement as possible between the two carriages, requested Endymion’s help in rounding up the party and getting them to take their seats. Having enjoined upon him the importance of turning a deaf ear to anyone who had the temerity to complain about either the lack of space or the presence of anyone else, he took himself off to settle the bill.

  “Is he paying for us?” Endymion asked Cecilia under his breath.

  “Yes. Oh, pray don’t look at me like that; who else is to pay, for Heaven’s sake? We cannot.”

  “He has paid the doctor too,” Endymion said, “and given Mario a goodly sum to tide him over until he is well enough to return to work. How are we ever to repay him? Have you made some sort of an improper bargain?”

  “No, I have not!” she exclaimed, flushing hotly. “On the contrary, we all have jobs waiting for us in Geneva.” With which she told him of Helen’s plan for her and Waldron’s for him.

  “Good God! Is he willing to take us all on? Why he must be quite besotted – and it is not with Phyllis.”

  “It is no such thing,” she said, although she was not certain that she spoke the truth. “He is simply an excessively kind and generous man.”

  “A very paragon!” Endymion said.

  “Yes – so go and do as you were told and make sure Mama and Miss Godmanton are sitting quietly in the same carriage – and Miss Lenham is not with them.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  It was another half an hour before all the baggage and people had been satisfactorily loaded.

  “Our carriage is smaller than yours,” Endymion complained, half-jokingly, to Cecilia, “and yet we have an extra person.”

  “Yes, but Miss Lenham cannot sit with Miss Godmanton and Lord Waldron does not wish to sit with Mama and Phyllis combined. And, in addition, since there are only two men, you should be in a different vehicle from his lordship.”

  “Oh, I know,” he said lightly, “and, since his lordship is such a paragon, it would be wholly unreasonable to ask him to share his carriage with Mama and Phyllis together even if you are there as well to prevent the worst of Mama’s behaviour. It is, after all, entirely due to you that he has been so extraordinarily generous. I was only funning; of course, I will sit with them and try to keep the peace, although, as a matter of fact, now that Miss Godmanton has taken against her charge – and by extension against his lordship too – she has become positively enamoured of Mama.”

  “Good; it is surely better than being enamoured of you, which is what led to the disagreement between her and Miss Lenham.”

  “Perhaps, but it is due to Miss Lenham’s saying something unrepeatable that we have all acquired not only jobs but lodgings too, so perhaps you should be a little grateful to me too.”

  Chapter 30

  It was a long time since Cecilia had travelled in a well-sprung carriage without draughts. She had, of course, sat in his lordship’s coach after he had rescued her, but she had been so fatigued and so taken up with soothing her mother and sister that she had barely noticed the wonderful comfort of the well-stuffed squabs, the clarity of the view through clean windows – it had in any event been dark - the smoothness of the ride or the comparative quietness of a vehicle which moved on wheels which fitted.

  They did not travel particularly fast, at least at the beginning of the long journey still to be undertaken across the Alps, but, in spite of her sister’s excited chatter, Helen’s occasional attempts to speak to her new chaperone, and the Earl’s gentle explanations of the area through which they were passing, she was aware of the absence of the displeasing grinding sound which had accompanied them up the mountain in the old carriage and which had grown increasingly impossible to ignore until the moment when they had left the road.

  Phyllis was at first nervous about getting into another vehicle but the Earl’s calm reassurance that they would not travel fast and that the coachman was vastly experienced in driving along this particular road, together with Cecilia’s understanding attention, soon steadied her nerves and she began to take an interest in the way the mountains and ravines revealed themselves. There was, by the time they set off, only a very slight c
oating of snow and, as the day wore on and the sun beat down, even this disappeared, leaving the slopes partially green and the little groups of trees unadorned.

  Lord Waldron had agreed with Endymion that they would not stop at the same inns until evening as, for both carriages, they required twelve horses at each change -something that was frequently difficult to obtain at Alpine changing posts. As a result, the Earl’s party soon grew comfortable with each other.

  After nuncheon Helen and Phyllis fell asleep.

  “I hope you did not feel forced to accept Helen’s proposal,” Lord Waldron said. “If you felt coerced I can have a word with her.”

  “I was flattered to be offered it, but am afraid you have been coerced, my lord. I will try not to take it as a slight if you decide that, on balance, you would prefer to keep my family at a greater distance.”

  “Not at all; I am delighted at the prospect of keeping you close; I had been wondering how to achieve it and Helen’s intervention suits me perfectly.”

  “But to have such an improper person acting as her chaperone …” Cecilia murmured.

  “Are you improper? What have you done?”

  “Gadded about all over Europe, running from gossip and mixing with persons of exceedingly low rank.”

  “I can’t see that matters – they have by no means infected you with their roughness, whatever it may have been. I am convinced that, if you will indeed take up the post, you will do Helen a power of good. She will gain in confidence and learn how to speak agreeably to a variety of persons, possibly even master another language or two. And I think it will help you. If you are seen chaperoning my cousin into Society, I do not think many will dare to gossip about you. I am quite respected, you know, and have the entry to most drawing rooms.”

  “So, in a sense, you will be chaperoning me?”

  “Sponsoring, I think. Will you be able to entrust your little sister’s care to your mother while you are taking Helen about town? She is at present a little young to introduce to Society, although I see no reason why she should not attend concerts – or even the opera – with us. But keeping an eye on Helen and any young men who take an interest in her will be enough to begin with, I should imagine, without having to worry about your sister.”