by Teresa Hill
"He would never deliberately do that—"
"I know that. I know him. I trust him more than any man I've ever known. I've let myself depend on him, and he's never let me down. God knows I've never had a man I could say that about, and you can't really love a man you don't trust, you know?"
Grace nodded seriously.
"Which means, I could really love him. Really and truly love him, if I let myself. But I can't do that. He's going to get his life back together one day, and I'll just be the old friend who helped him through some tough times. He'll feel guilty about that, but he'll see then that this isn't love."
It was breaking her heart, even now, but it was true.
"I can't believe everything between you is hopeless," Grace argued.
"Believe it, please. I need for you to. I need for you to be my friend and his and help us not hurt each other too much."
Grace looked worried. "Have you told him you feel this way?"
"It's Zach. Have you ever tried to convince him of anything when he's convinced he's right?
"Yes, I know."
"He keeps pushing for more. He says things I ask him not to. I disagree, but he's sure that one day, I'll admit he's right, that he'll win in the end."
Grace sighed. "So, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Try very, very hard not to let myself love him?"
Grace nodded.
"What are you going to do about your Frenchman?"
"I don't know. The same thing?
* * *
She didn't tell Peter where they were going the next evening, except to dinner. He got suspicious when they didn't get in the car, but started walking down the block instead.
"There aren't any restaurants down here."
"Did I say we were going to a restaurant?"
"Where else would we go?" he grumbled. "You said we were going to eat."
"You'll see."
He got more suspicious the closer they came to the McRae house, and he probably would have turned around and run once he realized what was going on. But a car was out front, and a girl got out of the backseat just as they arrived. She looked like she might be Peter's age, maybe a little younger, and either she hadn't hit that awful awkward age of adolescence yet, or she was going to sail right through it beautifully. She was long limbed and willowy, with dark hair and dark eyes and a big smile on her face.
"Peter? Hi."
"Hi," he mumbled, stopping a full five feet away.
Emma got out of the car a moment later, and Peter turned absolutely red. She headed toward Julie, but whispered to Peter as she passed him, "Don't worry. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, and I won't."
Peter looked suspicious but torn. The girl was so pretty and seemed happy to see him. The grill was already going in the backyard, and the burgers smelled wonderful.
"You're coming to my grandparents' for dinner?" the girl asked.
He shrugged and mumbled, "Guess so."
"Great," she said.
Emma held out a hand to the girl and drew her to her side. "Julie, this is my oldest daughter, Dana. Dana, this is Peter's sister, Julie. She and your Aunt Grace used to be best friends when they were younger."
"Hi," the girl said.
"Why don't you take Peter to the backyard and introduce him around?" Emma suggested.
Julie sighed as she watched the two of them head off. "Thank goodness. I was afraid that once he figured out where we were going, he'd either walk home or sulk all night. I'm not handling this well, Emma."
Emma laughed. "It hasn't even been two full days."
"You're right." Julie managed to laugh herself. "It just feels like it's been a decade or so."
"Come on." Emma linked her arm with Julie's. "Dana can keep Peter occupied. We'll all eat way too much fattening food and laugh and talk and forget about everything else for a while."
It proved to be a dead-on prediction for the evening. Zach's family had always welcomed her like a long-lost and much-loved relative rather than the neglected little girl from down the street. And it was wonderful to be back in the midst of them, despite speculation about her relationship with Zach and the fact that her parents were in jail right now. The McRaes were just nice people.
The children ran around in the backyard, except for the two little girls, the foster children, who just about broke Julie's heart, just seeing them. They huddled on the edge of the scene, never far from Zach's mother, not liking all the commotion. The men manned the grill outside, while the women gathered in the kitchen, preparing side dishes and dessert, nibbling and laughing the evening away. It was a relaxed, happy place, and she felt at home here.
"Julie, didn't Grace say you were in PR?" Zach's mother asked as Julie was tearing apart a head of lettuce for the salad.
"Yes. For a department-store chain."
"But you're not going back there, right?" Grace asked, giving her an expectant look.
"I guess not. I mean... I quit my job when I came here."
"So you'll need something here?" Grace grinned. "Perfect. Tell her, Mom."
"Brandon Lowery just got transferred to Seattle, immediately, and his wife, Patricia, works for the Chamber of Commerce. She's in charge of the Christmas festival, and this is the worst possible time we could lose her. We need someone ASAP, and I told her boss you were free..."
"Oh." They'd practically found her a job? Here? She tried to laugh it off. "Did you tell him I could be trusted not to run off with all the Chamber's money?"
"No, she did not tell him that," Grace said.
"He's got to wonder," Julie reasoned.
"When have you ever been like your parents?" Emma asked.
Julie frowned, thinking this had to be a trick question. A shrink thing. It seemed so deceptively simple on its surface, but it was making her think and think and think.
"You're not." It was Zach's voice, coming from behind her. He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him, right there in his parents' kitchen. His other arm came around her, too, and he just held her. "That's the right answer, in case you're still wondering."
And then he kissed her on the cheek and grinned up at all the women in his life, who were beaming at them both.
"They think they've found me a job," Julie said.
"Good," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to take a job here and stay.
"I gave Brandon your number. He'll call you," Rachel said. As if it were all settled.
"And Sam had some ideas about your house," Zach said casually. He let go of her, only to take her hand in his and tug her along with him, calling over his shoulder. "Think the three of you could give us a minute?"
His mother and his sisters laughed, as if they couldn't be happier.
"What did you tell them about us?" she asked as he tugged her through the family room and toward the front of the house.
"That I was in love with you, and that you didn't want me to be."
"Zach—"
He laughed. "I'm kidding. I really don't tell them everything. They just figure out most things for themselves. But they like you, and they're crazy about me. So there's no problem, right?"
He caught her in his arms, in a tiny alcove below the stairs where they had some semblance of privacy.
"Relax, Julie. Everyone's in the backyard or the kitchen," he said, that wonderful mouth of his coming down to hers.
The kiss was all too brief, too sweet, and it made her want too many things they seemed intent on denying themselves. She'd never understand why. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go.
"Having a good time?" he asked as he slowly drew away.
"Yes. You know I've always loved being at your parents' home. How's Peter?"
"Following my niece around like a lovesick puppy. Rye's about to kill him."
"Why? What did Peter do?"
"Nothing. Rye's not happy about any guy looking at his little girl like that."
"She's not so little a
nymore," Julie said.
"Don't tell Rye that. He's living in denial for as long as he can, and my dad's enjoying the hell out of this."
"Oh."
"Are you too young to remember my dad wasn't very happy when Emma decided she was in love with Rye? So it's payback time. Rye gets to suffer, and my dad gets to watch and enjoy it."
"Oh. Okay."
And then Zach kissed her again. Longer, this time. She pressed her entire body against his and moaned, clinging to him.
"Couldn't we go upstairs?" she asked, just to make him even more frustrated than he already was.
"No, we could not."
"You never sneaked girls into this house? Into your room?"
"Hey, a guy doesn't kiss and tell. It's bad manners."
"So you did," she teased.
He groaned and gave up on kissing her, but still held her close. "What were we talking about?"
"Sneaking upstairs."
"No, before that."
"Peter and Dana."
"Before that... The house," he remembered.
"I don't want to talk about the house. I'm happy now, and I'd like to hang on to the feeling as long as I can."
"No, it's good. I talked to someone at the bank. I thought you'd have some time, because a foreclosure isn't something that can happen overnight. But the process got underway months ago."
"What exactly is the good part in this?" she asked.
"I'm guessing your parents don't have any money. Otherwise, they wouldn't have borrowed it illegally from the bank. So they're probably going to lose the house anyway. But I talked to Sam about what was going on... Not that it was a secret. Foreclosure proceedings are a public process. He already knew. Here's the good part. He's been dying to get his hands on the place for years. Renovations will take months, and Sam said you and Peter are welcome to stay while they're doing the work. It won't be the most pleasant place to live during the process, but it's a big house. They can start on one end, and you can stay on the other. It buys you some time to see what's going to happen with your parents."
"But the house is probably mortgaged to the hilt," she said. "I wouldn't be surprised if the mortgage was more than the house is worth in this market." And by the look on his face, she knew. "It is, isn't it?"
"There's probably no equity, but..."
"You are not going to have your father bail me and my parents out financially. Or you... Are you a part of this deal? Because I won't take your money either, Zach." It was humiliating to think of doing so.
"This is what my father does—he fixes up old houses, and he earns a good living doing it. Including buying foreclosures. He can buy it from the bank later or try to buy it from your parents now. He wants to come look around inside, to estimate what the repairs will cost, but he thinks he can make money on this deal. Ask him, if you don't believe me."
"I will." It would be mortifying, but she'd ask. "It's too much."
"It's a good plan, Julie."
"Still fixing all my problems for me?" she asked. "I can't ask you to do that, Zach."
"You didn't ask," he reminded her.
No, she didn't. Their deal... he was too good at figuring out what she wanted, what she needed.
"It makes perfect sense," he argued.
"Have you ever noticed that any idea you come up with supposedly makes perfect sense?"
"That's because I'm the most reasonable, logical man in the universe," he said, grinning again. "Everyone I've ever known has thought that about me."
"Including the judge who kicked you out of the state of Tennessee?"
"Okay, maybe not him. Give this a chance, Julie. It's a good idea. And... Well, I might be convinced to reward you for how reasonable you were being in agreeing to this deal."
"Reward me? How?"
"I don't know." He eased his lower body against hers. He wanted her. Badly. "I'm sure I could think of something."
"You're going to bribe me with sex now?" she said incredulously. "I thought you weren't that kind of guy."
He shook his head, looking serious and a little scared for a moment. "I didn't like the look in your eyes when I told you I loved you this afternoon. Don't run away from me, Julie."
"I'm not—"
"So, if I have to put out to keep you..."
She laughed even harder, and when she stopped, he looked dead serious again.
"Promise me. No running away?" he asked.
"I won't. Not now. Promise."
Chapter 16
The evening went well. Dana didn't let Peter out of her sight, and Peter behaved like an angel in front of her. Never grumbled once and ate like he hadn't been fed in a week. Zach managed to make Julie laugh a little, and he sneaked off into the corner with her a second time and kissed her until he couldn't stand it anymore.
This celibacy idea was nuts, but he was afraid he was too far into it to back down now. Besides, he was right. She would make this about nothing but sex if he let her, and he wasn't going to allow that. But most of all, he still hadn't told her the hardest things. Until he did...
"Zach?" Grace was at the front door putting on her jacket. "You didn't even know I was here, did you?"
"Just thinking about something," he said. "Where are you going?"
"Home. I went down into the basement to work for just a few minutes and got caught up in something, lost track of time."
He frowned. She was doing the whole starving-artist thing rather well, and she lived in a dump, in a neighborhood that wasn't the greatest. He didn't remember seeing her car here earlier. "You were going to walk?"
She nodded. "It's a nice night. And I spend too much time sitting on a stool working. I can use the exercise."
"It's two miles. How about I drive you?"
"How about you walk with me?" she suggested.
"Okay."
He grabbed a jacket himself, knowing instantly he was giving his sister exactly what she wanted—time for the two of them to talk without him running away. Still, it had to be done. She'd want to hear from him what was going on, and he had a hard time staying still while he talked about it anyway. They set off into the darkness and the quiet of the pleasant, cool night. She didn't say anything at first, giving him some time, which he appreciated.
"So, I'm going to see a friend of Emma's," he said finally.
"A friend?"
"Colleague," he clarified.
"Oh. Well... Good. I mean, I guess it's good. If it helps."
"Emma thinks it will. She thinks this is something that can be dealt with."
"Of course."
She said it like she had never even considered it might be something that wasn't fixable. He certainly had.
She went quiet for a minute, then finally asked, "Zach, what did he say to you? When you made me and Emma leave you alone with him—what did he say?"
"It wasn't anything he said, Grace. It was me. The things I said. The things I felt when I saw him." Worse than that, the things he'd done.
"But that's all that's wrong? Because for a while I thought you might be sick with something dreadful you wouldn't tell us about—"
"I'm not sick," he said. Not physically. "And I'm sorry I worried you all. I just... thought I could handle it on my own."
"I never thought you couldn't. It's just that you help all of us all the time. I want to be able to help you for a change. And I've been worried."
"Well, try not to worry so much," he told her.
"I won't. Not now that you're here. And I'm really glad about you and Julie."
"Me, too."
"She won't make it easy. We both know her well enough to know that."
"She hasn't."
"But you don't care, right? You won't give up on her?"
"No, I won't give up."
"Good."
They walked in silence after that. Grace was smiling as they arrived at her apartment, a cavernous, second-floor space above what had once been a warehouse.
"Don't frown at my place," she said.
"It's a dump," Zach grumbled, wishing she'd take his money so she didn't have to live this way. Some problems were so easy to fix. Why didn't she let him fix this?
"No, it's not a dump. It's cheap, and big, and mine." She fit her key into the lock and turned around. "Want to come up?"
"So you can grill me some more?"
She nodded.
"That's all right. I think I can do without it tonight." He kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug. "Please tell me you don't walk home alone at this hour on a regular basis?"
"No, Mom makes me take her car when I stay too late. I just wanted to make sure I got to talk to you tonight." She grinned. "Which I did."
"Yes, you did. Night, Grace," he said.
"Night."
He waited, watching from the street until the light came on in the front window on the second floor, then headed home, glad to have that done. Walking wasn't a bad idea, either. He'd get back to running regularly, maybe pull his old weight set out of the basement, if it was still there.
He'd gone three blocks when he heard someone behind him. He wasn't really worried about it. It wasn't the greatest neighborhood, but this was a fairly quiet, peaceful town.
When he turned around, he saw a man in the shadows about twenty feet back. Something in the set of his shoulder or the shape of his body, maybe the way he walked, put Zach on edge. Did he know this guy?
Zach studied the man. He looked older than Zach first thought, and surprised. The man stopped walking and stayed where he was in the shadows, on alert, too, now. What the hell?
Zach's heart started pounding, adrenaline and anger spurring it on. He took a step toward the man, then another. The man behind him backed up, too, landing in a shallow pool of light, his face illuminated for just a moment.
Shit. It was him.
Right here. This close not just to Zach, but to Grace!
Furious, Zach took off. The man stumbled backward, and Zach was on him in an instant, grabbing him by the collar of his coat and shoving him up hard against the wall, cracking the man's head against the brick.
"You bastard," he said, one hand on the guy's throat, cutting off his air. "What the hell do you think you're—"
And then he broke off abruptly, not sure anymore who he was seeing. The guy was gasping and trying to shout something.
