The rest of the dinner we spend with him sharing stories about his cousins, but Gabriel and his twin are left out in a pretty conspicuous way. I have a hard time believing they weren’t there with everyone else at the ranch where most of Ben’s memories take place. Finally I can’t take it anymore.
“Where was Gabriel in all this?” His emerald eyes darken and he inhales like hearing the name is hard for him. “Aren’t you guys close?”
“Yes,” he admits, turning his beer bottle in circles as he stares at it. “But Elijah and Gabriel kept to themselves a little. Plus they were younger. The older cousins spent more time hanging out so we’re closer. Just happened that way.”
“Because they were twins, you think?” I’m dying to know more. The other stories were great but I can’t deny that it’s really Gabriel I’ve been longing to learn about. What am I, a masochist?
Ben shrugs, “Yeah, but we’re still all close.” He clears his throat, and looks at the bartender. “Can we get the check?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
He smiles, drinks the last of his beer and lies through his perfect, white teeth. “You didn’t.”
Okay.
Huh.
Guess it’s time to drop that subject.
GABRIEL
London’s fog drifting around centuries-old stone buildings makes me feel like I’m in a Charles Dickens novel here. All I need to take me back to that time is imagine the people in modern clothes are actually wearing top hats or elaborate Victorian dresses where little skin showed.
Like how modest Paige’s lavender dress was…
Stop thinking about her, Gabriel.
You’re losing your fucking mind.
I finally understand depression. Never felt this way, ever. Don’t want to get out of bed. I’m roaming out here because the damn housekeeping lady’s vacuum in the next hotel room kept reminding me the world is still moving.
I want this uneasy feeling to leave but since we flew in two days ago it’s just gotten worse. My second concert here is tonight and we’ve got two more before flying to Ireland. I’ve got nowhere to be until tonight. I cancelled rehearsal because what’s the point? We’re a well-oiled machine, and I want to rest my voice. That’s a fucking lie. I just don’t feeling like singing.
So I’m ambling around with no destination.
Just need a little distraction.
What’s this here? A chocolate shop?
“You guys paint all these yourselves?” I ask the pink-haired teenager as I point to dozens of painted truffles that are laid out more like art than candy.
“Yep!”
“I’ll take one of each. Make it two.”
She nods and glances to the door as someone walks in. Her eyes narrow and dart to me. It’s an odd reaction that causes me to look over.
My chest expands with shock and joy as I see my brother smiling at me in a long trench coat over his trademark black suit. “Elijah! No fuckin’ way! What are you doin’ here?”
He gives me a huge hug. “Surprise, Gabriel,” he laughs in my ear as he smacks my back a few times.
We separate and I hold his shoulders, amazed I’m looking at him. This couldn’t have happened at a better time. I needed to see him, and here he is. But I’m not going to say all that. He’d just give me a hard time for being a sensitive artist. We might look alike but inside we’re polar opposites. “How did you find me?”
“Dad told me the hotel you were staying at. After I landed and checked in to surprise you, I put down my things and started walking. I turned that corner over there when I saw you pop in here. Guess my twin barometer still works.”
I laugh, “No doubt!” To the pink haired girl I announce, “This is my brother.”
She grins, “That’s kind of obvious.”
Elijah chuckles and points to the large foil bag she hands me. “Sweet tooth?”
As I dig out my wallet I explain, “Giving these to my band.”
His eyebrows cock up. “You feeling okay?”
“Between you and Hannah you’d have me believe I’m a selfish isolated prick.”
We walk onto the cobblestone street as my brother rubs his neatly trimmed hair. “Aren’t you?”
Chuckling I admit, “Maybe I was but I’m done sharing the title with you.”
He laughs, “Touché, fucker.”
We get a lot of glances as we walk back to the five-star hotel, the longhaired rocker next to the stuffier mirror image. I was used to it when we were younger, but since it’s been so long since Elijah and I have hung out I’m hyper-aware of how much we draw attention. It’s weird though. Twins run in our family, sure but they’re not uncommon in the world anymore. You’d think with all the fertility manipulations people would be used to seeing siblings like us. They aren’t.
“How’d you get out of law school to come and see me? You take the bar ahead of schedule and flip them off with your perfect score?”
He laughs, “I can guarantee you it will not be perfect. That test is a bitch I’m not ready for. But to answer your questions, finals happened. I told the Senator I needed to celebrate and take a couple days. Here I am. Also I heard from Ethan that you and Ben aren’t talking.”
I freeze in the middle of the street, and a horn honks at me. “Fuck you!” I shout at it. “Go around. There’s more than enough room for your tin-can Euro piece of crap!”
Elijah frowns and motions for the guys to do what I said. As soon as the car veers around us, he locks eyes with me. “Guess I hit a nerve.”
“Ben’s talking about me but won’t pick up a phone?” I bark. “I’ve called the bastard nearly every day, sometimes twice!”
My brother lays his hand on my shoulder and guides me to the sidewalk. His voice is lower than mine because he’s used to caring what people think, unlike me. “Ethan says there’s a girl. Which can’t be true, is it? I figured he was nuts, but then I realized how far out of the loop I am with you.” He holds my eyes. “I didn’t like that at all, Gabriel. So I cancelled my calendar and got on the first plane.”
“Does Dad know about the rift? Hell, does everyone?”
“He didn’t say anything about it, which he would have. And if he doesn’t know then that means nobody does, except Ethan, Ben, me and you. Hannah would have definitely stepped in and called me, Dad and Mom. She didn’t. So I think Ben’s keeping it low, but what the fuck happened?”
“What did Dad say?”
“He just told me to hug you. Which I did so don’t ask for another one.”
I stare at him and chuckle after a second. “Keep making jokes. I need a sense of humor. Mine left.”
His tone is flat as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his slacks, classic Cocker move when we’re not pleased. “Who’s the girl?”
“She won a date with me. Radio contest. I know, weird right?”
“Wow, your world and mine are so different it’s insane.”
“No shit,” I mutter, raking my hair back as I spot a couple of girls taking photos of us from across the cobblestone street. “Get ready.”
“For what?” he looks over as they run to us, giggling and looking a little high.
With a heavy British accent one gushes, “You’re Gabriel Cocker, right? Is this your twin brother? It has to be!”
The other girl cries out with the same accent, “You guys look so much alike in person!”
Elijah and I glance to each other as I take the pen and paper offered to me. Signing my name I hand it back and ask, “You coming tonight?”
“Tell me where and when!”
My brother snorts as I clarify, “To the concert.”
She winks at me, “I know. Of course I’ll be there. And anywhere else you want me to be.”
“You guys have a good day now,” I smirk with finality.
Overlapping they beg me, “Can we just have one picture with you?” “Yes, just one!” “Come on!” “Please!”
One photo turns into
over thirty because the spectacle keeps drawing attention to the fact that I’m here and a crowd grows. A lot of people have driven into London from surrounding smaller towns to attend my concert, so it’s not unusual for a number of them to be out shopping on this street.
When I’m finally able to break free, Elijah and I hurry our steps with our heads low.
“Jeezus,” he mutters. “Have you really gotten this popular since the last show I saw?”
I throw him a look. “Maybe check social media every once in a while.”
He opens the door for me to hide me from the populace. “I’m sorry, Gabes.”
“Forget it. You’re here now. This way.” I guide him to a private lounge for V.I.P.s. As the heavy, wood door seals behind us, he and I head for the bar and order a couple glasses of Oban, neat. Nobody will bother us in here. The clientele are all millionaires of every kind. Old money. New wealth. Celebrity. Quiet owners of huge businesses whose faces you’d never know unless you read Forbes. They all come here for the privacy and exceptional atmosphere. No one is allowed who doesn’t invest a ton of cash in the best rooms the hotel has to offer.
We settle into a couple, high-backed leathers chairs next to one of four roaring fires, agreeing that the strong burn of single malt Scotch feels so good sliding down our throats.
“Tell me about the girl.”
“Can’t stop thinking about her.”
He pauses, surprised. “Why?”
“Who the fuck knows? I’ve been with how many women?”
Elijah smirks, “Don’t tell me the number. I might get jealous.”
“I don’t even know the number. I’ve had three, four at a time, and you think that matters? Nope. Paige Miller…she’s turned them to fucking dust, Elijah. It’s messed up. She made my dick soft in Montreal.”
His eyes narrow in an instant. “Come again?”
“Couldn’t cum. That’s the problem.”
“Ha. Nice.” He shakes his head at my stupid joke. “Explain, jackass, why you can’t stop thinking about a girl who made you limp.”
Chuckling to myself at my sophomoric humor I take a sip and set the glass on the marble end table beside me, the fire’s heat warming my hand as it rests. “Bunch of my team went out after the last show in Canada. Hooked up with some girl I met at the club, huge tits, French accent, super hot. We got to my hotel room, and I had nothing, man. Zip. Had to call a cab for her and reassure the poor thing it wasn’t her fault over and over. Fucking nightmare.”
My brother is staring at me. “This ever happened to you before?”
“What?! NO! You kidding? And don’t look at me like it’s contagious.” After taking a gulp I mutter, “Couldn’t stop wishing it was her with me and not that chick. She didn’t kiss me like Paige. It was like I was kissing rubber, no sensation. Ever happened to you?”
He shakes his head. “What does this have to do with Ben?”
“He thinks he saw her first.”
“Is she really that great? I’m having a hard time believing…I mean, I’ve never met anyone…”
Biting off the rest of his statement I say, “Yes, she’s that great. She’s grounded, loyal, smart, fun, everything you want in a woman.”
Elijah smirks, “You didn’t say beautiful.”
“She’s that, too.”
“If you and Ben are fighting over her, I have no doubt she is. But I find in interesting that didn’t top your list.”
Staring at him a beat I think about it. “Guess the other things are more important.”
“Because they last.”
Setting my glass down I feel dizzy, like I’ve made the worst mistake of my life not running after here after that show. “Fuck. And you wanna know the truth? I knew it when I kissed her.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m not even twenty-five, Elijah!”
“Oh really, I didn’t know that.”
“This is not a time for jokes!”
He exhales and fixes his gaze on the fire. “So you knew she was the one. You felt it in your gut.”
“I felt it everywhere. I think I even said aloud that I wasn’t ready.”
“And now what are you thinking?”
“Ben’s ready.”
Elijah grunts and downs his Scotch. Rising up he motions for me to finish off my glass. I do, and hand it to him so he can get us another round.
Gold and red flames flicker across him as he stands above me and holds my look with a warning in his. “While I go refresh these bad boys I want you to picture one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Our cousin inside your future wife.”
Dynamite explodes in my chest.
PAIGE
Walking with Ben through his garden I breathe in the sweet scent of organic strawberries. “It’s so peaceful and beautiful here. I didn’t realize how little time I’ve spent in nature lately, until now. They smell so good.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
Meeting Ben’s concerned eyes I exhale and answer, “I have until the end of the month to vacate my apartment.”
“Let me loan you the money.”
Moved, I touch his hand. “I can’t let you do that.”
“I want to.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t take a loan from you. I’m too proud, Ben. But thank you.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“My parent’s house for a little while. They’re in Decatur so it’s not that bad.”
“Nice,” he mutters, his mind working as he raises his gaze to the sun. “It’s about noon. You ready for the lunch I promised you?”
“Mmhmm.”
We head back to his modest home and again I sense that he wants to hold my hand. I lean down to pick a strawberry, to put a little space between us, hoping it’s not too obvious how nervous I am.
I accepted his invitation knowing that today we’d probably kiss, since we didn’t after dinner a couple nights ago. I’d avoided that, too. But I can’t forever.
Watching him stroll through rows of fruit and vegetables I wonder why I’m still holding onto a man who doesn’t want me when there’s one right here who does. Ben is kind and attentive. His body is incredible. His smile, charming and sincere. He’s so muscular, far more than Gabriel is, because Ben works on a farm. He built that shed over there! I mean, his shoulders are amazing, and the way those jeans fit, any girl would jump on his back and ride him all the way up to his bed.
So why do I feel sick?
This is wrong.
I have to go.
The sound of his phone vibrating causes both of us to look at his pocket as he checks it, and slides it away again.
“Who was that?”
“Nobody.” But his eyes are troubled as he leads the way up three steps to an open porch that’s half complete. “I’m building this to be like the one my parents have. Our houses are different, Dad converted a barn, but I miss the enclosed porch. Figured I have the time to make it my own.”
“Those are the best. My grandparents had one.”
He holds the door open so I can enter his home first. Looking around I admire his simple décor. There’s a lot of iron complementing pine and it needs a woman’s touch, but it’s homey.
“It’s great, Ben.”
“Let me give you a tour,” he smiles, heading for stairs up ahead. I set my purse down on the coffee table and follow him up. “This is the first bedroom. I’m using it as guest room now for when my cousins visit.”
Walking inside I run my fingertips along the goose down comforter. “I bet they love this in the winter.”
He laughs, “You can’t get Eric out of it!” Off my expression, Ben leads me out into the hall and explains, “He’s a Quarterback for the Falcons. Let me guess, you don’t watch sports or the news.”
“Because I would have known who he was from his last name, huh.”
“Exactly,” Ben smirks. “Kinda hard to miss the name Cocker in this town. We’re everywhere. H
ere’s the guest bathroom.” He doesn’t pause to let me see it. “And here’s my room.”
I watch him enter without hesitation.
I really want to run back down those stairs.
But that would be extremely rude.
Walking in, I glance around a bedroom that is as comfortable as a teddy bear’s tummy. His bed also has a goose down blanket, but it’s king sized and adorned with eight feather pillows. There are two overstuffed, brown corduroy chairs by an empty fireplace, a round table between them that is just begging me to set a book on it so I can reach for some hot cocoa on a cool night.
He’s pleased with my expression.
I glance to the master bathroom door and ask, “May I?”
He waves an arm, “Go right ahead.”
“Look at this huge shower!” I cry out as I take in the stonework. “Did you do this?”
“I did,” he smiles as he takes up the entire doorframe.
“These rooms are perfect.”
“Glad you think so, Paige.”
His tone hits me hard and I meet his eyes, seeing the change in him. This is the moment I could walk into his arms.
I could cuddle into him.
Forget I ever met Gabriel.
Forget all about Bobby.
Shelby.
I could just disappear into this farm.
Never go back.
Ben and I stare at each other. “Gosh, I’m hungry. You?” I laugh as I squeeze by him and head for the stairs.
My phone is ringing.
Ben is walking behind me, but at a much slower pace like he’s figured out this won’t go the way he wants it to.
“Someone’s calling,” I lamely say, happy for a distraction. But a long, weird number on the screen makes no sense to me. “What’s this?”
Narrowing his eyes, Ben says, “Europe.”
“I don’t know anyone there. Is it a scammer?”
The call goes to voicemail. Then his rings. He pulls it out and frowns at it.
My blood pumps faster as I realize what might be happening. He hasn’t once called me so it didn’t occur to me that it could be him, but now with the European phone number thing and the way Ben’s frowning I ask the thing I’m most afraid to. Because what would this mean? “It’s Gabriel, isn’t it?”
Cocky Rockstar: Gabriel Cocker (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 10) Page 11
