Damera tipped back her head and looked back and forth between them. “Can’t I be yo’ wittle guhl?”
As though he’d been kicked in the chest, Rocky straightened and swallowed, blinking rapidly a few times.
Victoria closed her eyes. Oh sweet Jesus… How do we respond to that? She would promise the little girl the moon in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for ... so many things.
Rocky rubbed the back of his neck and glanced from Damera to Victoria, holding her gaze. His dark eyes softened, full of all the same pain she was feeling. The same longing to make promises that neither of them knew whether they could keep, or not. And she felt hope springing to life in her heart. Maybe…
Finally Rocky knelt down so that his face was directly at Damera’s level. He cupped her head. “Honey, Ria and I would love to have you as our little girl. But there are lots of things for us to consider. And right now, we feel this family, The Racklers, will be a very good place for you and ChristyAnne. Do you understand?”
Damera’s lip pooched out. “You don’t want me?”
Victoria heard the rush of air that left Rocky’s lungs as he tipped his head back and blinked at the ceiling. “Darling nothing could be further from the truth. I would love to have you for my little girl. But so would the Racklers. I think you’re really going to like them.”
“But I want to stay wif you!”
He swallowed. “I know, but I’m just not sure I would be the best pa for you. And I need you to trust me that I’m trying to do what’s best for you. Okay?”
Damera crawled from Victoria’s lap and wrapped her little arms around Rocky’s neck. “But I fink you would be the best pa, and since I’m the one who needs a pa, don’t that count fo’ somethin’?”
Rocky looked at her over the little girl’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if the moisture she saw was because her own eyes were damp, or if Rocky was fighting tears as well.
“Honey,” he patted the little tyke’s back, “I’m honored that you want me for your pa.”
The little girl pushed away and pressed both palms to his cheeks, looking intently into his face. “That’s good, wight? Honowed?”
“Yes, honored is good, but listen now,” there was a catch in his voice. “The Racklers are a fine family. After a few days with them you’ll feel about them all the same things you feel about Ria and I. Only better because they will be your forever ma and pa.” He gave the little girl an assuring smile and tweaked her nose, but his gaze was serious as he tossed Victoria a glance over Damera’s shoulder.
Looking down, Victoria smoothed a wrinkle from her dress.
“Tell you what?” Rocky pushed the little girl back. “How about if we let this news settle and we all have a chess tournament tonight?”
Damera’s expression lit up for just a moment, then dimmed. “But I don’t know how to pway chess. I don’t want to pway chess.”
Victoria was glad for a change in topic and gave her a squeeze. “Come on. You can be on my team. I’ll show you how it’s done and we’ll whip everybody!”
She looked skeptical, but finally answered, “Okay.”
Rocky laughed. “Well.” He scooped the little girl up into his arms. “I wouldn’t count on coming out the winner, young lady.” He flipped her upside down and tickled her belly. “Because I play a pretty mean game of chess!”
Damera squealed, clutching at Rocky’s hands.
ChristyAnne rushed into the room, a look of worry on her face, but relaxed and smiled when she saw her little sister hanging upside down from Rocky’s arms in a fit of silent laughter.
“Alright.” Rocky put the little girl down and shooed her toward the door. “Go have Jimmy show you how to set up the board. A challenge has been issued and the great chess tournament of 1887 is about to begin!”
Both girls scurried from the room calling the news to Jimmy.
As soon as they were out of sight, Rocky bent forward and rotated his injured shoulder stiffly.
Victoria’s breath caught. “Are you okay?” She scooted to the edge of the bed and studied him.
He grinned and waved away her concern. “Yeah. It’s been doing so good, I sometimes forget the old shoulder isn’t what it used to be. I’ll be fine.”
Remembering his words from earlier, she determined she wasn’t going to let her worries ruin what could turn out to be a fun evening. So she pushed the thoughts aside. “Fine, then. Let’s get to playing. The sooner we do, the sooner I’ll be crowned the winner.” With a cheeky grin, she hurried from the room.
Forty-five minutes later, the opponents had come down to Rocky against Victoria and Damera.
ChristyAnne and Jimmy sat at the table half-heartedly working on sums, their attention mostly focused on Rocky’s king who was in dangerous peril.
Victoria whispered into Damera’s ear and she reached one tiny hand to move a horse.
“Wait!” Rocky cautioned. “Are you sure that’s the one you want to move?”
Damera giggled and looked up at Victoria for confirmation.
She nodded her encouragement and gave the little girl a squeeze. “We have him on the run now! He’s just scared and trying to get us to mess up!”
Rocky grinned unrepentantly and dropped one lid in a quick wink.
“Well, it’s not gonna wohk!” Damera plunked the horse down on its new square with decided finality. “Check!”
“Ohhhh!” Rocky winced and clutched his chest.
Victoria chuckled. “Maybe he should be a thespian instead of a deputy, what do you children think?”
All three snickered.
“Hey!” Rocky snapped his fingers at the two sitting at the table. “Get those sums done!” The twinkle in his eye belied the overdramatized authority in his voice.
They only ducked their heads and laughed into their hands.
Rocky sighed and studied the board, pretending great sadness over the demise of his king. Finally he moved the king one space, making a great fanfare of checking to make sure he’d be safe there.
Victoria suppressed a grin, knowing he could see their queen’s next move would put him in checkmate.
The children all held their breath, each one also seeing the jeopardy he was in.
“There I should be safe right there.”
When he let go of the king, the two older children tittered and Damera clapped her hands in glee.
“What?” Rocky asked innocently but Victoria knew him well enough to detect the twinkle in his eye.
With a satisfied thud, Mera moved the queen. “Checkmate!”
“No!” he exclaimed. “You can’t— wait— you—” Reaching out he snagged Damera from Victoria’s lap tickling her mercilessly. “You are the new Chess champion!”
ChristyAnne and Jimmy piled on top of Rocky and joined in the fun. Their peals of laughter brought a sudden onslaught of tears, and Victoria swallowed away a lump of sheer happiness stitched with longing.
Rocky glanced up from the middle of the pile of squirming children. As he caught sight of her tears momentary concern flickered in his gaze, but then his features softened into understanding.
“Alright!” He sat up, sprawling Jimmy into a heap on the floor. “Time for bed. We have school in the morning.”
Half an hour later as Victoria emerged from tucking in the girls, Rocky was just heading down the hall from Jimmy’s room. He paused, rested his hands on his hips and angled her a look. “You going to be alright?”
She sighed. “Yes. When do…Did the Racklers say when they want to come get them?”
He swallowed and looked down at the floor. “I told them I felt the children needed at least a few days to adjust to the idea. That’s why I didn’t have them come to dinner earlier in the week. Let’s just give it until Friday and we can talk with the girls and with the Racklers after that and see where we go from there.”
Smoothing at an invisible wrinkle in her skirt, she tried to keep her voice even. “Alright.”
Victoria had never felt so terrible ab
out a decision before. The Racklers were good people. It wasn’t like they were giving the girls to an awful family. It was the fact that they were considering giving them to another family at all. Yet this had been the plan from the beginning.
Rocky pinned her with a look. “I knew this was going to be hard for you. I just never dreamed how hard it would be for me. Someday, I’d love to have a family…children.” He swallowed. “Every time I’ve ever considered having a family… you were part of the picture.”
Victoria felt her heart give a double-thump in her chest. Would he consider…? She glanced up and pressed her lips together as she studied his face. Finally, she could withhold the question no longer. “Would you consider keeping them?”
Folding his arms, he narrowed his eyes. “I know how you feel about me being a lawman. And I figured that you definitely wouldn’t want to have children to complicate matters, just in case something ever happened to me.”
Victoria’s world tipped and she was ever so thankful for the wall behind her as she leaned back against it. He was right, that’s how she should feel, but somehow…something, had changed.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “But I can see that you are just as head-over-heels for these children as I am.” He stepped toward her until he was so close she could feel the heat of his breath warming her face. “With you, Ria…family seems… right.” He caressed her chin with a short stroke from one finger as he studied her lips. Then he gave a little jerk and stepped back, his gaze snapping to hers. “But hard as it is to admit, Julia had one thing right. We can’t give children the kind of home they need unless our relationship is where it ought to be as a husband and wife.” He released a short puff of air and stepped back. “I’d love to have children in our home one day. But unless you can come to terms with our relationship and my job, I don’t think we’d provide the best home for them. And—” He scrubbed one hand over his face. “I’m not just talking about, ah, intimacies.” His eyes flicked towards her bedroom door.
Her face flamed and she looked down, studying the tips of her shoes.
“There’s more to a marriage than that. I’m talking about you wanting to be with me for more reason than just to keep these children. About trust, openness, and communication. Intimacy is just a symbol that those other things are already taking place in a relationship. Kind of like the ultimate trust, openness and communication.” He shrugged. “At least that’s how I’ve always imagined it would be. And those things may take us awhile. Until then… hard as it may be, I know it’s not in the children’s best interest to be here with us.”
With that, he left her standing there and it wasn’t until he’d disappeared around the corner that she realized she was holding her breath and let it go in a rush.
Simon Saunders stepped in out of the moonless night, cast a quick glance around the room and pulled his hat low over his forehead, then settled himself at the bar and lifted his finger. Conrath’s Saloon looked and sounded like every other one he’d been in over the past twenty years. Dim. Smokey. And loud.
Good. If he kept his visit short, no one would even notice he’d been here.
“What’ll it be?” The bartender yelled over the plinking of the piano in the corner.
“Whiskey!” As he waited, Simon’s attention honed in on the sashay of a barmaid carrying a tray of drinks. She stopped at a poker table and set a round of frothy mugs to the right of each player. The cut of her dress announced to each man what he should plan on doing with his winnings.
Simon smirked. Too bad she wasn’t serving him.
The barkeep set his drink before him and dried his hands on his stained apron, waiting expectantly.
Simon fumbled in his vest pocket and pulled out a five dollar gold coin, laying it down with a snap.
The bartender gave the coin a brief glance, then paused as his eyebrows rose.
Good. He had the man’s attention.
“I’ll get your change.” The man reached for the coin.
Simon beat him to it, pressing his finger into the middle of the Half Eagle and pinning it to the bar. “I don’t need any change if the information is right.”
The man set his beefy hands on the counter and leaned into them. “Yeah?”
“You know a family in town by the name of Snyder?”
“I know ’em. They don’t come in here, though.” He swiped his mouth across one arm, scanning the other patrons at the bar as though worried they might be eavesdropping.
Simon lowered his voice, but the raucous music and rumble of other conversations should block theirs from anyone else’s ears. “They have money?”
The bar tender pushed out his bottom lip, glancing across the room in thought. Finally he shook his head. “Not so’s you’d notice. The old man, he died several years back. But he was a lawman plain and simple. Never flashed any money around.” He shrugged. “The wife and daughter, they stayed on after he passed. Same house. Never known them to be extravagant spenders, either. Nope. My guess would be they don’t have much.”
Simon felt a curl of satisfaction as he lifted his finger from the coin. He tossed back his drink and started to stand, but at a sharp look from the bar tender, he paused. “What?”
“Mister. I don’t know what your plans are, but the Jordans are the law here abouts. Word about town is the daughter just married one o’ them. I’d watch my step, if I were you.”
Simon pulled out his best aw-shucks grin. “Why, Rocky Jordan himself invited me to dinner tomorrow night. He wouldn’t o’ done that if he thought I was a danger, now would he?”
The man never lost his look of skepticism. “Just watch yourself.” He picked up the coin and pocketed it.
Simon tipped his hat in acknowledgment and stepped back out into the night. He might not be too late after all. A grin split his face. “Mags, darlin’,” he whispered. “You’ll get yours yet.”
13
The next morning after the children had left for school Rocky sauntered into the kitchen. “Do you have time to go on a short walk with me this morning? I have something I want to show you.”
Victoria surveyed the pie dough she’d just started mixing. “Can you give me a couple hours?”
He snagged his hat from its hook and pushed it back onto his head. “Sure. I’ve got a couple things I need to see to out in the barn. I’ll come back then.”
Where could he be taking her? Various scenarios and possibilities ran through her mind as she finished the dough and chopped the apples, mixing in sugar and cinnamon, but for the life of her she couldn’t come up with a reason he’d need to show her something.
The rattle of the buggy stopped outside the door just as Victoria was sliding the last sheet of small apple tarts from the oven.
Jimmy had practically devoured the entire batch of cookies she’d made the day before. His delight had been so palpable she hadn’t had the heart to tell him he couldn’t have any more. And she’d packed the last of the batch into the children’s lunches this morning.
The door opened and Rocky hung up his Stetson. “Mmmmm, smells good,” he proclaimed as he filched two tarts from the cooling rack. One of them disappeared in a single bite and Victoria gawked at him. “I hope to goodness Jimmy never sees you do that!”
Swallowing it down, he grinned. “I’ll tell you the same thing I always tell Ma. Make them bigger if you want me to take bites.” He held aloft the second tart and shoved the whole thing into his mouth with an unrepentant twitch of his lips.
With a dismissive wave of her hand, she nodded to the buggy. “I thought you said you wanted to go for a walk?”
He spoke around the mouthful. “We’ll walk. We just have a bit of a drive first.”
Her curiosity got the best of her. “Where are we going?”
He sloshed some coffee into the bottom of a cup, swirled it around and then drank as he tossed a wink in her direction, but didn’t reply.
“Ah, so you’re not telling me?” She placed the empty baking tray into the sink and
pumped water onto it.
“Nope, not yet.”
“Well, a girl likes to know where her man is taking her, you know.”
He stilled and she realized too late what she’d said.
“Your man, huh?” He sidled up next to her and bumped her with his shoulder. “I like the sound of that, Mrs. Jordan.”
Blast her pale skin that seemed to forever be heating under his watchful scrutiny. She scrubbed the cookie sheet with a venom and refused to meet his gaze.
He chuckled softly and trailed a knuckle down her neck just behind her ear. His voice lowered to a whisper that brushed warmth against her skin. “You are a very beautiful woman, Ria.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her hair and then stepped away. “I’ll meet you at the buggy.”
She managed an “Okay” before he disappeared out the door. Giving herself a few moments to gather her composure, she finished cleaning the kitchen before she finally descended the stairs and allowed him to help her up onto the buggy seat.
When he had settled beside her and snapped the reins starting the buggy down the road, she angled him a glance. “So where are we going?”
He chuckled. “I see that patience is not one of your strong suits.”
“You’re really not going to tell me?”
He angled toward her, his gaze roving over her face for a long moment before he replied, “I’m enjoying this just a little too much to put an end to the fun, now.”
She released a puff of breath and settled her hands into her lap, fiddling with her fingers. “Are we going to the school?”
He tipped back his head on a laugh. “No.”
“To your parents?”
“Nope.” His grin was full of diabolical mischief. “I think I’ll prolong your torture for a bit.”
She sighed. “Oh fine!”
“Sit back and enjoy the beautiful day, Mrs. Jordan. I might even take the long way just to extend your misery.”
She gave him a syrupy smile. “You’re such a gentleman!”
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