He placed a hand over his heart. “I’m crushed.” He glanced across the way toward Cade and called, “The woman would rather look at the horse than make time with me. So I guess we go on to the horse.”
“Smart woman!”
Victoria giggled and trailed after Rocky, even as she realized that the walls she’d carefully erected around her heart to keep it safe from the very man holding her hand were crumbling brick by brick and she didn’t want to reconstruct them. Not even a little bit.
14
“Oh she’s beautiful!” Victoria gasped as she propped her arms across the top rail of the corral.
“Yes she is,” Came Cade’s reply. “That there is one of the horses that Jason found on his and Nicki’s spread. They were running wild on a back section of their property and as far as we can tell many of them had never encountered humans before a few of us went in to round them up. Rocky’s had his sights on this girl since he first laid eyes on her down in that little valley. She was as wild as can be, but she’s come a long way in a short time and once I finish her training she will be one fine brood mare.”
Rocky leaned against the rails next to Victoria and watched her face. He was pleased by her awe as she watched the mare across the paddock. “She’s a line-backed dun.” He rested his chin on his arms and simply let Victoria take in the animal for a little while. The mare was putting on a show. She trotted from one end of the corral to the other, her head held high, her neck arched and her tail raised. The soft tawny color of her hide contrasted with the crisp black of her mane and tail and the long black line down her back. At the center of the corral the horse came to a stop, her flank to them but her head tilted in a way that showed all her focus was on the three of them. The skin along her side rippled and her tail flicked over to dispatch a pesky fly, then she turned her head and looked directly at them.
“Hey there.” Victoria climbed a rung higher on the fence as she cooed, holding out one hand palm up. “Come on then, you know you are ever so curious as to what we are all about. Yes you are. Come on over here and let me give you a good scratch behind your ears.”
The horse’s ears perked forward at the cajoling tone of Victoria’s voice.
“Yeah. That’s right. Come on then. Come on.”
With a snort, the mare bobbed her head, her black nostrils flaring as she tested the air. Apparently satisfied that there was no danger lurking near the three of them, she took two cautious steps forward and stretched her neck out as far as it would go to sniff at Victoria’s hand.
“That’s right,” Victoria continued in her sing-song voice. “Come on. I’m not going to hurt you.” She quieted then, but kept her palm out.
Rocky admired her calm assurance around the animal. Maybe talking her into buying wouldn’t be as big a deal as he had feared. He wanted to start his own herd and this mare showed the exact strengths he’d been keeping his eye out for. The sooner he could get a good herd started, the sooner he could step down from his deputy job, and he knew that would bring Victoria some relief.
His hesitation rose from the fact that he’d never told anyone he didn’t really want to be a lawman for the rest of his life. Dad kind of assumed he and Sky would take his place one day, but that had never been Rocky’s dream. Nor Sky’s either, if he didn’t miss his guess. Cade was offering him a fair price and with the aid of Sky’s stallion this mare ought to throw a right nice foal.
The horse took two more steps and Victoria gently laid her hand against the side of her nose. The mare snorted and bobbed her head again, but stayed steady.
“That’s right beauty. Yeah. You don’t have anything to be afraid of from me. Rocky she’s beautiful,” she continued, addressing him in her soft sing song voice.
He didn’t reply, not wanting to scare the filly away. This was the first time he’d seen the horse willingly approach someone. It was a tribute to Cade’s gentle training and the mare’s calm disposition that she was doing so this soon.
Behind them, Smith Bennett poked his head out of the barn and called for Cade. Cade stepped away quietly, but with a sudden prick of her ears and a flip of her tail the horse jolted back and trotted away across the corral.
Victoria stepped to the ground and Rocky tilted his head on his arms to look at her. “I brought you out here because she’s for sale and I’d like to buy her.”
“You don’t have to ask me.” She splayed her hands. “Do what you want to do.”
“What I want to do is talk to you about it. I don’t want to start out our life together making decisions on my own. I want your input. And… I don’t want to be a lawman for the rest of my life.”
She blinked. “You don’t?”
He shook his head. “I knew you would never be comfortable day in and day out with me wearing a badge. That’s why, the moment I saw her,” he nodded toward the horse, “I knew I wanted her to get my herd started.”
“But… you were at Jason’s place in the spring… wait… you?”
He winked at her. “I told you… I’ve been in love with you for a long time. And I figured my chances of getting you to let me come calling would be a lot better if I could come as a rancher instead of a lawman.”
“So…?” Her hands fluttered up near her throat and he hoped that was a good sign. “You would give up your work for me?”
He nodded. “For you. For me. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. I just need to find a good piece of property where we can get started. And I’d like it to be close to home, so you don’t have to move too far from your mother.”
“Oh.” She glanced back across the paddock at the mare. “How much is she?”
“He’s asking seventy-five dollars for her.”
Her brows arched at that figure, as he’d known they would.
“Do you have that much?”
He nodded. “Yes. We have that much. I’ve been doing a little saving for this very reason.”
“Well then…,” Victoria’s lips tilted up into a soft smile as she watched the animal across the pen, “my input is she has to stay out in the barn, even in the winter.”
He chuckled. “Deal.”
Cade came out of the barn. “So, do I have a sale?”
Rocky stood and stretched his arms above his head. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d gotten today waiting for Victoria’s thoughts on this. “Yes, you do. I’ll have the money for you just as soon as she’s fully broken.” He held his hand out in his friend’s direction.
Cade smiled as he accepted the hand. “Sounds good to me.”
Rocky changed the subject. “What’s wrong with your ma?”
Cade sighed and focused on the side of the clap-board house across the yard. “She hasn’t been herself lately. She’s been getting severe headaches that are so bad she can’t even stand up. She pretends everything is fine, but….” He shrugged. “I’m worried about her.”
“What does Doc say?”
“Well, he stopped by to see her before he left on his trip. He was honest enough to say he didn’t know what might bring on such sudden headaches but he would do some more research and get back to us.”
Rocky clapped him on the back. “Sorry. We’ll be sure to add her to our prayers.”
Victoria nodded. “I was so worried about Mama a while back, but Doc fixed her up just fine. I’m sure he’ll come up with something to help your ma, too.”
“Thanks.” Cade nodded. “We appreciate the prayers and I know Doc will do everything he can.” He turned back toward the barn. “Come on, I’ve got those kittens to show you.”
Rocky waited for Victoria to precede him. “You don’t happen to have a red one, do you? Red kittens happen to be some of my favorites.”
“Red?” A puzzled frown creased Cade’s forehead and he glanced back at them over his shoulder.
Rocky enjoyed the blush that washed up the back of Victoria’s neck.
“Mmmm. Red ones. They’re just so… cute. Especially when they have a dusting of freckles and curly hair.�
��
Cade came to a halt and spun around. “Wha—Oh!” A light dawned in his expression as he darted a glance from Victoria’s red face to Rocky.
Rocky grinned.
“You’ve made a sniveling romantic out of my best friend, Victoria.”
Rocky laughed out loud. “Your day is coming Cascade Bennett. Your day’s coming.”
On the way home from the Bennett’s with the tiny little calico kitten wrapped in a cloth and resting on Victoria’s lap and the leftover pie tucked into the luggage boot, Rocky pulled to a stop just before the cutoff to the church and Pastor Hollybough’s house. He glanced over at Victoria. “I’d like to invite the Hollyboughs to dinner tonight, too, if that’s alright with you. I figure if anyone can determine if someone is a minister it would be another minister.”
Victoria rubbed the soft ear of the purring kitten. “Why don’t you believe he is who he says he is?”
He sighed and rubbed a hand across his jaw, looking off across the field. “I don’t know exactly. Just…, when you’ve been a lawman for a bit you get to recognize the look of a con and this somehow feels like one to me.”
“I see.” She pressed her lips together. “So do you think he really is my father and a con man? Or is he even lying about being my father?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Why would he want to con me? I have nothing. What could he possibly have to gain?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe he was just nervous and didn’t know how to tell me.”
“Maybe.”
She stroked behind the kitten’s ears, eliciting a loud purr. “He probably is my father and a con man. That would make sense with my life.”
“Hey.” He reached out and touched her hand. “Where you come from doesn’t have to determine who you are. You will still be a beautiful, loving, caring person no matter what your lineage is. In Christ we can put all that behind us, remember?”
She blinked back tears. “I know.”
“It’s going to be fine, Ria. I’m going to walk with you through this, each step of the way.”
“I know. I’m just scared.”
“Scared of what?”
She pulled in a shuddering breath. If she told him there would be no going back. But who was she kidding? She didn’t want to go back anymore. “I feel like every person that I’ve cared for, God has taken away. First my dad. Now Mama is married to Doc.” She met his gaze briefly, but couldn’t hold it. “I care for you. And I don’t want to lose you.”
“Hey.” He scooted closer to her on the bench and cupped the back of her neck with gentle fingers, tipping his head down to peer into her face. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know you wouldn’t purposely leave me. I… I just don’t ever want to feel the pain I felt after Daddy died, again.”
Rocky swallowed. “And will keeping me at arm’s length make you feel any better if something does happen to me? You know that even when I do take up ranching, there will be dangers.”
She folded her arms, careful not to jostle the kitten, and stared out across the field beside them.
“You’re only robbing yourself of the happiness the Lord wants for you.”
Was she?
“You know why worry is a sin? It’s a lack of trust in God.”
She didn’t want to hear that. She clenched her jaw and tilted up her chin. “What has God ever done specifically for me?” She pressed her lips into a line and studied a tree across the way.
Rocky bent even closer. “The other day when you didn’t believe that I was telling the truth about Julia, you basically called me a liar. You’re doing the same thing with God right now. He sent His Son to die – specifically for you. His Word says he cares and wants only the best for you, but you don’t believe him. You’ve been so busy trying to keep yourself from getting hurt that you aren’t letting God do the very thing that he longs to do.”
She scratched the kitten under its chin. The Bible did say that. She felt some of her stubbornness drain away and her shoulders eased, but she still didn’t meet Rocky’s gaze.
He sighed and fiddled with the reins. “In the twenty-third Psalm, a Psalm that is talking about the valley of death, it still talks about the comfort God offers us in the midst of hard times. Keeping me at arm’s length doesn’t keep me safe. It’s a selfish act on your part. You either believe God is who He says He is, or you don’t. Which is it? You think about it and you’ll see that if you look at things the right way, you’ll be able to see what God has done for you. Not what He’s done to you.”
She looked up at him and guilt washed over her. She was being so ungrateful. Like a little child who hadn’t gotten a penny-candy at the mercantile. She released a puff of pent-up breath and laid her palm over the bullet wound in his shoulder. “You’re right. He brought you home to me.”
His face softened and he nodded. “You remember the verses in the end of that Psalm where it says, ‘You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies’?”
She nodded, her lips pressed together.
“I feel like God has done that for me so many times. Even in the midst of danger, God gives us good things. I can’t promise I’ll outlive you. But I can promise that our days together will be the best days of our lives. And I can promise that God loves you and only wants the best for you. He leads us each down a path that He knows will brings us closer to Him. And if God asks you to go through losing another person you love, I know He will give you the strength to make it through that time.”
She blinked back the tears threatening to overflow. “I just don’t know if I would be able to make it, if something happened to you.”
“Sure you would.” He chucked her under her chin. “You’ve made it all these years without me.”
She huffed a laugh, even as she brushed back more tears.
With a deft flip, he looped the reins around the brake handle. Both hands now free, he turned back towards her and cupped her face. His thumbs swiped the wet tracks from her cheeks, and when his head dipped toward hers, she could no more pull away than she could breathe. Her arms rose and wrapped around his neck. The kicking of her heart vibrated the walls of her chest. And then his lips were on hers. Softly, slowly, smoothly, his mouth caressed hers, the stubble on his jaw prickling.
Her fingers curled into the hair at the back of his head, knocking his hat askew. She parted her lips, hungering for more.
He mumbled something low and warm as he scooted closer and increased the fervency of the kiss.
Then with a dash of cold clarity she realized just how much of herself she was giving away and she jerked back with a gasp. The kitten mewled at the sudden jolt as she pressed the back of one trembling hand to her mouth.
A question flashed across Rocky’s face and then understanding lit his eyes. His shoulders sagged slightly as he looked out across the field beyond her. For a long moment they sat as though frozen in time, and then he sighed and met her gaze. “We’re going to get through this, Ria. One day we’re going to look back and be amazed at how far God has brought us.”
She swallowed and shook her head. “I don’t know if I can, Rocky. I’ve been hiding for so many years, I don’t know how to….” She let the thought trail off with a shrug.
The knuckles of his hand trailed down her cheek. “You made a good start today, Ria. Don’t pull away from me now.”
She didn’t respond. Didn’t want to respond. Didn’t want him to know how hopeless she felt to pull away from him. She’d given away too much of herself, and the fear of what that might cost her, nearly took her breath away. Looking down she resettled the kitten in her lap and scratched it softly under its chin.
He studied the fields for a moment longer, then finally gave a little nod of seeming resignation before he scooted back to his side of the bench. “Back to tonight. I only want to be careful about Parson Cane because I care so much for you.”
She didn’t trust her
self to answer.
“So? The Hollyboughs?”
“Yes. Let’s invite them.” The words came out on a warbled whisper.
“Alright then.” With a click of his tongue and snap of the reins, Rocky set the buggy rolling down the lane toward the parsonage.
Victoria rubbed her forehead pushing at an incoming headache.
15
Simon Saunders adjusted his coat and collar one more time, giving himself an assessing gaze in the mirror. He practiced a smooth fatherly smile. Yes it worked. “Maggie, dear.” He ran a hand across his cheeks making sure they were clean shaven and smooth. “You are going to lose, in the long run. I’ve found our girl and I’m just about to recover all that you stole from me.” Setting his bowler at a jaunty angle on his head, he nodded approval at his reflection. “Yes sir, Mags. Just a few more days and all your attempts will have been in vain.”
He stepped out into the hallway of the boarding house and almost had his door shut when he remembered the Bible sitting on the chair where he’d tossed it when he got in last night.
“Get yourself together, Saunders,” he muttered.
The trek through town took him through the back alley behind the sheriff’s office. He didn’t realize he was rushing until he almost walked into the arc of water that the lady from the mercantile tossed out her back door.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she gasped.
Simon gritted his teeth but then snatched his hat from his head. “Don’t you worry about a thing, Ma’am. I shouldn’t be in such an all-fired hurry. I’m just running a little late for a dinner engagement.”
“Well, I’m so glad I didn’t douse you with my wash water!” she giggled.
He forced a smile to spread. “I’d have to say I am too, Ma’am.” Adjusting his hat he tipped the brim in her direction and continued down the alley at a slower pace. Annoying woman!
The walk out to Victoria’s place was longer than he remembered and the blasted Bible felt like it weighed more than a half grown hog by the time he crested the low ridge above her home. He was panting for breath when he reached her porch and gave himself a moment to catch his wind.
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