“What is it that you think I am implying?” he countered, that impish grin frolicking on his face.
Rief looked around, and though some new gawkers paused to look at the rubble, their corner was rather secluded. “You aren’t leaving? That you want to build a life here... with me?”
Even as the words left his lips, Rief feared that speaking them aloud might end the dream, forcing him to awaken back in his former, sad reality where the only one who loved him were mere images.
Coming closer, Mathew inspected the black soot coating the beam Rief sat upon. He hesitated for a moment, then adjusted the tails of his coat and sat.
Rief chuckled at his fussiness, pleased he’d opted to join him despite the risk of sullying his clothing and reputation.
“It disheartens me that you do not believe me to be a man of my word,” Mathew finally said. “How many times must I tell you that I will never leave you?”
“I was not questioning your honor, Mr. Weston. I just can’t believe that this is happening.”
“Why not?” he all but demanded, a hint of impatience showing through. “How can I turn my back on the man who has needed me so badly that he has been drawing me since childhood, anticipating my arrival all this time, without even knowing it? You expect me to abandon you in your greatest hour of need when I have always been there for you before?”
Rief could not form a reply and only stared.
Smoothing the lapels of his frock coat, Mathew continued, “I have thought long and hard about this, Rief. After your mother’s death, you began to draw someone who gave you peace when life became unbearable. Well, take a look around you?” He gestured to the wreckage. “That man has been destroyed.”
Rief’s heart skipped, and Mathew’s eyes captured his, wide and impassioned.
“You have no need for him ever again,” he declared in an ardent whisper. “I’m here now, and I will be your new peace, your solace. I am not paper and ink. My love cannot be destroyed by mortal means.” He placed a gentle but firm hand on Rief’s knee, and hope burned as hot as desire. “If the mere shadows and drawings of me have been your saving grace, I will be your anchor. Where they gave you peace, I will give you ecstasy. They may have brought you happiness, but I will vow my love.”
Sudden tears streamed down Rief’s face, and he did not bother to check them. He did not care if a thousand people saw, for these tears were not borne of weakness.
They were of pure, unadulterated joy.
Though Mathew’s vow was so damn perfect and succinct, spelling out a life grander than he’d ever imagined possible, mere words could not vanquish old fears and doubts. Lip trembling, Rief barely managed to ask, “But what if this becomes too much? The risks of discovery, my visions? Are you sure you want to give up everything for a life with me?”
Mathew laughed, patting his knee and not letting go. “And what sort of life did I have before you? One of high society and pretentiousness? One where no one knew or cared who I was? Days being surrounded by people yet feeling so miserably alone? How can you ask me if that life is preferable to one with the man I love?”
“Matt,” he whispered, emotions getting the best of him and silencing the things he wanted to say.
“I love you, Rief, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said so quietly Rief wondered if it was just the wind, for the words were too perfect to be real. “I don’t care about the risks. I could have lost you last night, and that was enough to teach me real fear. I’ve always been afraid to be myself, but now the only fear which has power over me is losing you. I’d rather die than spend another day without you.”
Rief pressed his hand over his face to hide the tears, and the grip on his leg tightened with intimate promise.
Mathew’s voice wavered as he continued, “My entire life I have been waiting for this moment. I have been lonely and broken, not knowing where to go or what to do. Or even who to be. But I do not feel that way when I am with you. Your touch makes my body and my heart burn with love and desire,” he said very softly but with the intensity he showed when they made love. “You are the missing piece of my soul, Rief Lawson, the very thing which has made me a man. I love you, and I hope that you love me—”
“I do!” he cried, clutching at the hand on his leg, imploring Mathew to believe him.
Eyes brimming with affection, Mathew smiled. “Then what else do we have to worry for?”
Wisely, but with regret, they both moved their hands for they were still in public. Rief missed the contact almost immediately, the emptiness inside him gone any time Mathew placed a hand on his body, even with the simplest touch.
“I wish I could kiss you right now,” Rief whispered, wanting nothing else but to throw himself into his lover’s, his friend’s, arms.
Clearing his throat, Mathew stood and brushed the debris from his trousers. He smiled down at him, those beautiful blue eyes watery with love. “It would seem, Mr. Lawson, you and I will have a lifetime for that.”
Epilogue
“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.... Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
—Aristotle; Greek philosopher, 384-322 BCE
Six months later
A flash of black swept in front of Mathew, making him jump back, hand to his chest.
“Damnation, Sully!” he scolded the feline as he darted across the parlor. With an indignant swish of his tail, the cat jumped up onto the stool beside Rief’s easel.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Mathew apologized, but the cat turned away and began licking his paws in a way that could best be described as offended.
Sully had shown up soon after the fire, and Rief had been beside himself with relief to have his beloved pet back. Occasionally Sully deigned to grace them with his presence at Pembroke House, bearing gifts of fish heads and dead mice as tokens of esteem—a habit that amused Rief but Mathew could surely do without.
Warm Florida sunshine streamed in through the large windows of the suite, warming the room, but not making it stuffy. There had been a lot of rain this winter, and now spring heralded brighter days ahead.
Mathew swept the room with a grateful gaze, the tension of his travels fading as the serenity of being home took its place. A forgotten novel lay open on the cozy chair he dwindled away many evenings lost in fictional worlds or enraptured by his lover painting a new masterpiece. Cleaned paintbrushes were drying on a table by the easel, evidence Rief had been working on a new piece while Mathew had been away. That pleased him as much as seeing the indentation in the large pillow on the floor.
After reading the journal of his pirate ancestor, Mathew had suggested Rief experiment with daily meditation, much like the mysterious gypsy woman Vadoma had done. The man carried a burden, knowing things he did not have the power to change, but sitting quietly on the floor meditating had brought him a newfound serenity. Nothing would stop his premonitions, but at least he’d begun to work with his gift and not against it. He had not referred to his sight as a curse in months. Sometimes he drew the things he saw—at Mathew’s encouragement—but other times he simply kept them to himself. The two of them had fallen into an ease with each other and the strange gift Rief possessed.
However curious Mathew was to see what his lover had been painting, he was far more anxious to have the man in his arms. He headed to the bedroom where he knew Rief slept. They kept the two-room suite made up with separate quarters, but “Rief’s room” had quickly become a place to store clothing and new paintings. They spent their nights in “Mathew’s bed.”
Though still unbelievable they were getting away with this life, such luxury came at a cost. They’d set firm rules about only being together in public on occasion, lunch at the Havana House once a month, and drinks at The Bloody Hog every other Saturday. Just enough to satisfy their desire to be with each other, yet not so much that people would see anything other than two good friends about town. Their separate work schedules and Mathew’s occasi
onal travel to his second salt farm on Sand Key meant guests at the inn rarely saw them together outside of the evening meal in the common dining room. They also retired at different times—Rief a night owl and Mathew an early riser.
The biggest need for discretion would always be from their servants, and fortune had been their ally when Mathew hired Amelia to clean and cook at the inn. Not only did the middle-aged Jamaican woman make the most obscenely delicious lime pies, more importantly, she never questioned why only one bed was slept in. She dutifully laundered both of their beds as if nothing were amiss. She had become a loyal part of the household, and Mathew compensated her purse extremely well for such trustworthiness. He’d also provided her two sons and son-in-law work at his salt farm. Any building repairs that Rief was unable to accomplish at the inn, he paid her husband, Isaiah, to attend to as well.
The additional investment, the precautions, and the secrecy returned to them something of value a hundred times over. In the darkness of night, alone in their bedchambers, they had no shadows to hide in, no need to pretend, and nothing to fear. Two men were doing the unfathomable, the unthinkable. And it was working.
Life was happier than either of them had ever dared to dream.
Mathew found Rief curled around a pillow, his mouth open slightly and knees tucked up in the same vulnerable way he’d slept their first night aboard the Mirabella. Even after six months, Mathew never tired of watching his lover lost to slumber. He looked so innocent and fragile that Mathew wanted to keep him safe from anyone or anything that might harm him. Though Rief would always be physically stronger, Mathew knew the secret person of his heart, the one who needed someone to love and nurture him, care for him. Until he took his dying breath, Mathew intended to be that man.
Overcome with an impatient urgency, he shed his clothes—fewer layers than he’d needed during the cold winters of London. His cock began to rise, throbbing with anticipation to be inside Rief. Once naked, he grabbed their ever-present oil and coated his growing erection from the base to the tip, not wanting to waste precious time with preparations.
Careful not to disturb him, Mathew slipped between the cool cotton sheets, inching toward the warmth underneath. The moment he touched his back, Rief flinched awake.
Looking over his shoulder, his startled expression faded to one of joy. “Oh, you’re back early.”
“I finished as fast as I could.” Mathew curled against him, delighted to find him naked.
“I’m glad,” he said in a voice thick from sleep. Rief burrowed into his arms, lifting his top leg so Mathew could slide his in between. Snuggling closer, he was careful to not to put too much weight on his bad leg. While the bone had healed straight, it now had the added ability of foretelling the weather better than a seasoned wrecker.
“When did you get in?” Rief asked.
“An hour ago.” He kissed him tenderly, hands roaming over naked, muscular body. Inhaling the sensual fragrance of sleepy man from his neck, he groaned. “I’ve missed you.”
“Mmm,” Rief purred, clutching at the arms touching him. “Me too.”
“When Amelia told me that you were up all night painting and still abed, I was quite pleased. This is right where I wanted you,” he whispered, rolling his hips into Rief, completely hard now. Rubbing his nipples against the smooth contours of Rief’s back, he relished the warm skin, decadent with the familiar spice of his flesh. Then Mathew nibbled on his ear, drawing a head-to-toe shiver out of him. “So what were you painting, lover?”
“It’s a surprise.” Rief cuddled into him, responding to his every caress with soft sounds of pleasure.
“I have a surprise for you,” he teased, reaching between their tightly clenched bodies to lay the length of his cock along Rief’s crack. Humping him with promise, he ran his hands down his chest until he could cup the delicate sac below his lengthening cock.
“I like those surprises.” Leg hooked over Mathew’s still, Rief rubbed the back of Mathew’s calf with the top of his foot. With a sigh, he pressed his ass back. “I can tell you already oiled it, just shove it in.”
“Ahh, but you would like that too much,” Mathew said, thrusting against Rief’s bottom and relishing the swell of ass cheeks surrounding his shaft, so supple and warm.
Taking a gentle hold of his lover’s wrist, Mathew pushed it over his head, using his body to press the bigger man into the mattress. Moaning, Rief arched up his hips, sticking his bum out, willing and ready as always.
Meek and pliable, Rief placed his other hand over his head too, begging, “Please.”
Pinning both hands in place, Mathew pumped a few times to excite, delighted by how eager Rief always was to take his cock. Recently, Rief had persuaded Mathew to let him use a finger in his hole, and they had both rather enjoyed the outcome. But as fun as that was, the only thing on his mind for the past three weeks was burying his cock deep into that tight ass, filling Rief hard and fast.
With Rief pressed onto his chest and knee raised to keep his round bottom easily accessible, Mathew began a slow undulation against him. He kissed his shoulders, his neck, all the while inhaling the scent of him. When he buried his face in his hair, Rief sighed, making no attempt to break Mathew’s hold. His total submission when they made love aroused Mathew like nothing else. Hips thrusting, he made love to him with his hand and his lips. Still holding his wrists, he used his other hand to stroke Rief’s rounded shoulder, moving upward to cup his jaw and unite their mouths in a deep, slow kiss.
“Please, Matt,” he whispered, his entire body trembling now. “Please, I need you inside me.”
“Beg me.”
“I need you.” He pushed his ass up hard, his tone almost frantic. “Please, Matt. Please!”
Issuing a triumphant thrust, Mathew held still, savoring the sounds of Rief’s desperation, the whispered pleas which poured from his lover’s lips, all inhibitions dashed in the face of his deepest hunger. Making such a powerful man weak with desire was intoxicating, erasing memories of the days he hadn’t felt like a real man. Everything Mathew had once battled had come to the fore, and the victor was happiness. True, genuine happiness in the arms of someone he loved more than life itself. By embracing his desires and eschewing society to go after what he needed to be whole, Mathew had finally become a man. Perhaps not the one he’d foolishly strived to be, but a stronger one than he’d ever imagined possible.
Though he loved taking charge of them this way, he never took Rief’s gift of trust for granted. How could he ever fathom doing so? For most of his life, Rief had longed for love and tenderness, for someone he could trust with everything—his secrets, his heart, and his body.
They both had found exactly what they needed together in this way, their bodies expressing what their hearts already knew. Offering himself up to Mathew’s complete control brought them both unbelievable ecstasy, but more importantly, it was a physical sign of the absolute rightness of their union.
“Please,” his wrecker moaned.
Some nights Mathew loved to make him wait for release until he became a sobbing mess, but he couldn’t play such games today. It had been far too long for both of them. He needed the connection as badly as Rief did.
Heeding those entreaties, he took a hold of his shaft, still keeping Rief’s wrists in place with the other. He maneuvered his cock between those cheeks and pressed against his tight, eager hole.
Rief made an inarticulate sound of relief when he began to enter him. The resistance against his cock head drew a moan from Mathew’s lips too. Knowing what was to come, the snug heat that soon to be wrapped around his cock, made his heart skip and his body tremble. Rief’s ring only contested for a moment and then Mathew was inside, the muscles squeezing under his ridge. “You feel so good.”
“More.” Rief raised his hips, pushing onto him.
Still holding his shaft, Mathew pumped in several times, loving the way Rief’s ass yielded, sucking him in, accepting and embracing him. He worked it deep, caressing his ba
ck, hot and hard beneath him. When that bottom finally pressed against his groin, he whispered, “I love you, Rief.”
“I love you too.”
Kissing Rief’s neck, he rubbed his face against his back and in his hair, longing to be covered by his scent. No time for the usual lovemaking, his body would not be patient, Mathew began to thrust. The last time they had touched felt like an eternity and they both needed to expel pent-up passions, to reach that place of ultimate bliss.
Rief writhed from every penetration, hips and body swaying, encouraging him. Releasing his hands, Mathew gripped his hips, slamming in all the way and grunting from the exertion. Sweat poured down his face, dripping onto Rief’s back and leaving its salty taste on Mathew’s lips. The rich scent of their coupling, the stickiness of their flesh, and the pleasure of their joining consumed him. Wanting to hear more of those delightful noises Rief made, he took hold of Rief’s shaft and pumped him, Mathew’s thrusting hips forcing that cock deeper into his grip.
When Rief found his ecstasy, he cried out, the whole bed shaking and both of them moaning. Wet seed soaked Mathew’s hand and then, with that glorious hole clenching around his shaft, he joined Rief, delivering his passions with one final thrust.
Drenched with sweat, he stayed inside Rief until his body stopped trembling. Eventually, he slid out, caressing his gaping hole in gratitude. He dipped a finger inside, playing with the seed he’d given him.
Rief whimpered from that touch and allowed him to stroke inside for a moment. Then he rolled toward him, their lips meeting in a loving, tender kiss. “I know it was only a couple weeks, but is it absolutely crazy that I’ve missed you every second?”
Mathew chuckled and draped a lazy arm across him. “No, I missed you tremendously.”
Somehow, Mathew summoned the strength to climb from the bed and retrieve a sponge from the ewer by the bed. After dampening it, he returned to wash his lover. Once he cleaned them both, he looked down at the spent, happy man lying in their bed. “Do you know how gorgeous you are?”
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